"Alfred, the principal will see you now," Elizabeta said opening the door that lead from her office to the student hallway. "He just finished his phone conversation with Mr. Karpusi."
Alfred got up from his chair glaring at the Russian janitor. "Is he coming in the room with me?"
"Would you like Mr. Braginski to accompany you?"
"No. I don't want him and anything about his creepy janitor life near me! It'll probably turn me into a creepy janitor when I get old or something. I'm too awesome to be a janitor when I get all wrinkled looking."
Ivan smiled and shook his head. "I'll come in if Ludwig wants to hear my side of the story."
Ms. Héderváry nodded. "Of course. Follow me, Mr. Jones."
"This is still just a big waste of time," the student stated as he followed the secretary through her little office to the principal's office. "I say that y'all just fire that creepy janitor with the Russian accent, and we pretend that this never happened. Which will be easy 'cause I didn't actually do anything."
"I'm sorry Alfred, but I'm not in charge of the firing around here," Elizabeta said. "If you didn't do anything then just tell the principal clearly and respectfully that you didn't do anything."
"Then what will happen? And do you think that I did anything?"
"Well, Mr. Kirkland, your English teacher, loves to just go on and on about your disruptive behavior during his class. He even wrote a long list of everything disruptive about you."
"I'm not disruptive! He just needs to teach his stupid class better."
Elizabeta sighed and shook her head. "Try not to have an outburst while you're talking to the principle," she said as she opened the door to Ludwig's office. "Hello sir, I brought Alfred F. Jones here for you two can discuss disruptive behavior."
"I don't have disruptive behavior!"
"Thank you, Ms. Héderváry," Ludwig held up some papers. "Oh, before you leave can you make some copies of these."
She smiled and took the papers. "Sure."
"Be sure to give me the copies before school lets out."
"Yes, sir." Elizabeta left the room.
"Mr. Jones, please take a seat" Ludwig, the principal, said acknowledging his visitor, "and explain to me why you have been escorted to my office by the school janitor?"
"What's with your accent?"
"I was born and raised in Germany."
"So, you're like a Nazi?"
The German principle crunched his hand into a fist and then released it after taking a breath. "No, Mr. Jones I'm not a Nazi. Are you materialistic just because you were born and raised in America?"
"What's materialistic?"
Ludwig rolled his eyes. "Just take a seat and tell me why you were sent here."
Alfred took a seat as instructed. "I'm just here 'cause the school janitor is a big jerk and has no friends. I'm not even his friend 'cause he's such a big jerk. Big jerks don't get friends 'cause they're big jerks."
"Sit up straight when you you're speaking to authority."
The student slumped down in his seat. "This is just a stupid waste of time. I should be in Biology class right now. I don't mind missing Biology, but if I'm missing it 'cause I'm stuck in the office for no stupid reason, then I mind missing Biology."
The principal glared at him. "Didn't I just ask you to sit up?"
The young American ignored him and put his feet up on his desk. "This is just so stupid. I shouldn't be here. I should be in Biology class. Listening to Mr. Bonnefoy fan girl about the reproductive system and all its icky parts-"
"I thought you guys are discussing animal kingdoms now. You're still on the reproductive system? Oh, and get your feet off of my desk like I ordered you to. Its very unsanitary."
Alfred took his feet off of the desk. "Yeah, that's all Mr. Bonnefoy talks about in class. Its actually pretty disgusting."
"Sit up straight," Ludwig commanded. "Your class hasn't moved on to anything else in Biology?"
The young American student didn't bother fixing his slouch. "Nope. Yeah, Mr. Bonnefoy is totally some batshit cray-cray dude. Mr. Kirkland hates his guts for some weird reason too. I never understood it. It's almost like those two dated once or something-"
The principle cut him off. "You shouldn't talk about your fellow teachers like that. It's very inappropriate. Their private lives deserve to be kept secret it's more polite that way. It's also polite to sit up straight when you're speaking to authority."
He huffed. "Sorry, boss. You just need to watch Arthur-"
"Arthur?"
"Its Mr. Kirkland's first name. I use it 'cause I believe that I'm at a personally level with him. Anyway, you just have to watch Mr. Kirkland rant about some of the crazy stuff Mr. Bonnefoy has done. It's down right hilarious. My favorite story is his story about how Mr. Bonnefoy ruined the school's bake sale. He puts his hand over his crotch to tell that story. I guess some parts of it still brings back bad memories."
His principle put his hand to his face. "Is this the way you behave when you're in class?"
"Nah. When I'm in class I got a whole band of fans telling me how awesome and sexy I am."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really. Do ya know Natalia? She's the sexy girl from Belarus who's somehow siblings with that creepy janitor sitting outside. Yeah, I know right? I just learned that they're siblings today. Those two don't even look alike. I bet Natalia hit the jackpot of good genetics and her creepy janitor brother hit his ugly face with a blender-"
"Where are you going with this?"
He laughed. "Somewhere awesome. I'm ninety percent sure that Natalia is the president of my fan club. She loves saying stuff about how much she hates my stupid American ass. I think it's really sweet that she likes to think about my ass and talk about it. 'Cause dude I have a rocking ass from all that baseball practice. Anyway, I think Natalia has a big crush on me or just wants to wear my ass as a hat. It's totally like a real shame 'cause my buddy Toris has been in love since like before she got her boobs."
Ludwig shook his head and stood up from her desk. "How many siblings do you have?"
"I got a twin little brother. His name is Matthew. He spent most of his life in Canada. That's why he's a little messed up in the head."
"Matthew Williams? The salutatorian?"
"Yeah dude, Matthew Williams is my awesome little brother and I thought my bro was valedictorian."
"Eduard von Bock took his spot last semester."
"Damn, that smartass Estonian bastard," Alfred mumbled to himself. "Why are ya asking me about my sibling anyway?"
The German principal looked out his window. "I'm just trying to figure out the root of your disruptive behavior-"
"I don't have disruptive behavior!"
Ludwig opened a drawer in his desk and took out a paper. "Do you have two parents at home?"
"Yeah. I got a Momma and a Daddy."
"Are they your birthparents?"
"Yes."
"Would you say that your parents have a stable relationship?"
"Uh… well they were split for quite a few years. Matt lived with Mom in Canada and I lived with Dad here. Then when we hit grade school Matt lived with us in United States and would go spend his summers in Canada. And then they got remarried and we just all lived here."
"Interesting. How old were you when your parents got remarried?" his principle asked sitting back down at his desk.
"Fourteen."
"And your sixteen now?"
"Seventeen actually. I'm a senior."
"Oh… right." Ludwig nodded and started filling out the paper he had taken from his desk. "What are your parents like?"
"Well my dad's a lot like me, and my mom's a lot like my brother. Its pretty weird how similar we are to our parents."
"Does it bother you that you didn't live with your mother in Canada?"
Alfred snorted. "Hell, nah. I had a choice and I choose to live with Daddy. 'Cause Daddy is like the awesome adult version of me. I did feel bad for living with Dad without Matt, but it was Matt's choice to live with Mom. Dude, why is this important?"
"I'm a fairly new principle here, so I don't know you on a personal level like the principle before me. Your file is pretty large Mr. Jones. If there's a root for your disruptive behavior then I'd like to find it."
"I don't have disruptive behavior! And why are you asking me all these stupid personal questions about my family? Isn't that like private life? And isn't that like polite to be kept secret?"
His principle smiled. "I'm surprised that you remember me saying that."
"Shit, dude. I remember things. Why do people think I'm incapable of that? Anyway, shouldn't you like be asking me questions about why the creepy janitor sent me here? That's what the principle dude before ya would have done."
"I already asked you that. And you told me that you were sent here because the Mr. Braginski has no friends-"
"He doesn't have any friends!"
"Then I came to the conclusion that you were sent here for disruptive behavior in the cafeteria-"
"Wrong! I was sent here 'cause the creepy janitor is ridiculously overprotective of his stupid little sister!"
"You didn't say anything about that."
"I didn't? I thought I did tell you that Natalia punched my brother for no good reason, and I went up to her to make her apologize, and her brother can up to me and was like, 'creepy commie people don't apologize. I'm taking ya to the office', and then I was forced to go to the office."
"You never said anything about Natalia punching your brother."
"Well, she did! And I got sent here 'cause I tried to make her apologize! UGH! This school is so stupid!"
"Are you positive that Natalia punched your brother?"
"He's got a hideous bruise that looks kinda like a hickey."
"Did you see Natalia punch your brother?"
"No, but I saw his hickey like bruise."
"How do you know that Natalia didn't just give your brother a hickey?"
"Dude, Natalia told me herself that she punched my brother."
"Why would Natalia punch your brother?"
"She said that she thought my brother was me, and she punched him for that."
"Why would Natalia want to punch you?"
Alfred made a puff noise with his mouth. "I don't know. Maybe she just has all this stupid sexual tension and has to release it somehow."
Ludwig shook his head. "I'm sorry, Alfred but there's nothing that we can do about Natalia punching your brother. We have no evidence that Natalia didn't just give Matthew a hickey."
"Why would Natalia give my brother a hickey?"
The German shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it was sexual tension and she thought your brother was you."
"What? Dude, that's totally not cool. I could have gotten a hickey from Natalia!"
"Sure," Ludwig said sarcastically. "Now Alfred if I'm not mistaken you're the pitcher of the baseball team, and are going to pitch at the game tonight?"
"Yes, sir. My curveball is like the seventh wonder of the world."
"Right. Well, give this to your coach when you see him." The principle handed him the paper he filled out earlier.
He took the paper and read it. "Bro, this is says that I can't play at the game tonight."
"Its your punishment for your disruptive behavior today."
"What disruptive behavior? Why isn't Natalia getting any punishment she's the one that punched or gave a hickey to my brother?"
"We have no evidence of Natalia doing either of those things. As for your disruptive behavior, I have a long list Mr. Kirkland wrote about the things you have done, and Mr. Braginski is in the hallway prepared to testify amount your behavior in the cafeteria today-"
"This is so unfair!"
"Also you refuse to acknowledge my authority. I've asked you a number of times to sit up straight, and you've refused. You also put your feet up on my desk. That was very disrespectful. I believe that you need to be taught a lesson."
Alfred sat up in his chair finally. "I don't need to be thought a lesson! Look I'm sitting up straight now. I don't need to be kept from playing my game tonight. The team is going to totally suck without me!"
"I'll be sure to email your coach about this. Just in case you accidently lose that note I handed you."
"Bro, your totally a Nazi!"
Ludwig took a deep breath. "Alfred, get out of my office."
A/N
Poor Alfred. I'm not one-hundred percent in love with this chapter, but its been on my computer desktop for some time. I've given up on making it better.
Hey dudes, thanks for reading. Please point out any grammar mistakes I might have in a review. Also feel free to review for any other reason. I just want reviews 'cause they make me feel special.