Sorry this took so long to get posted and sorry if this chapter is kind of dumb. Aeolian and I are going to work out the bugs with making Motivations and Intentions flow a bit more fairly soon so keep an eye out for updates in her story!

I was down for a good couple of days at least, and by the third day still felt a little wobbly, but the Administrator deemed that I should have to at least try to fight again. I think the Doc knew I wasn't all that interested in testin' anything else out for him and kinda thought I was angry with him. I mean, I was, but after he got me well again I didn't see any reason to. The point is, he ignored me- wouldn't kill me in the fights, wouldn't look at me hardly. I hoped he would come outta that soon because I really did wanna keep helpin' him.

I did my best to help out my team and we actually won that round. It felt kinda nice and put me in a good mood.

Except, one thing kept hangin' over my head- somethin' I wanted to ask but hadn't had the chance to.

"Alright, Spy, why'd you do it?" I said, stoppin' him after dinner.

He just looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Why d'you suddenly care so frickin' much?"

"He sabotaged our team."

"And you thought he wouldn't come lookin' for me anyway? You didn't have to sit around like a… like a hen lookin' at me all night."

Any and all emotion faded from his face. I just clenched my fists at my sides and waited.

"Why do you subject yourself to such deadly things?" he asked coldly.

"Because I'm helpin' Friedrich! You said yourself we've got a friendship here. He's not gonna let me die."

"But he did. You were trapped in ze respawn cycle until he finally fixed ze problem.

"Why do you care so much?" I took a step forward, tryin' to stand up tall. Kid, I wanted answers. This guy was makin' no sense.

"You are a part of my team."

"But you never cared before, even if I was draggin' myself in circles out there on one arm. Is it suddenly because you're getting' married to Ma? Is that it?"

"Well, naturally, I assumed I should take some responsibility for her children-"

"No. Stop right there." If he thought just because he was getting' married to Ma that he could take over my life then he was sorely mistaken.

"You listen here," I said. "I've survived this long on my own. Hell, I've survived all my life pretty much on my own. I fought my brothers. I've fought whatever man happened to be beatin' on her 'till he broke my arms. A killer like you can't just step right into a family that's already hardly holdin' its head up and expect to take charge, not over her, my brothers and especially not me."

I could see by now he was angry and… possibly hurt. I didn't think Spy could feel hurt, at least not emotionally. I guess the reason I was so mad was the confusion. I didn't know why any of this was happening, right outa the blue.

He said something in French and walked away. I was glad, 'cause I wasn't backin' down.

Kid, there was like this… tension… over the next week or so. It just felt weird. I partly blame the weather, because everybody was getting down in the dumps after a while. Even Pyro. He just kinda lit their clothes on fire and let em' get away and I swear, I tripped over Demoman more than I fought him. It was just so cold.

It was especially hard that Friedrich didn't want to talk to me much anymore. I mean, you remember what I said a while back. I never had a dad. Not a real one anyway. It was like the only dad I'd ever known was flat-out pretending I didn't exist anymore. I'm not a fan of drama and I hate to sound so heartless but I wanted it to be over. Whether Spy just disappeared or the Doc to come up with somethin' new that he wanted to try. I felt like I was stuck in the middle of a confusing rock and a frustrating hard place.

I had to get some fresh air that night and went for a walk. As much as I wanted to just hole up in my room and hide, I needed a reminder of who I was. Even a runner forgets why he runs sometimes, so that's what I did. I left behind my coat and stepped out into the frigid air and ran, as far and fast as I could, through the old cabins, over the snow banks and fighting my way through them like a snow plow, up and down flights of stairs wherever I could find them, even across the roof of one building. At first I couldn't relax, but soon I'd forgotten where I was, why I was even doin' this. I felt free. Just free, nothin' else.

I ended up on the roof of the RED base just as the wind started to pick up again. I was panting and sweatin' like crazy, but it felt good to really be pushed to my limits again without worryin' about dyin'once I got up to speed.

I just sat around for a few minutes before I got up to leave. The bit of roofing I'd used to get over to where I was was higher, so I went through the door up there and down the stairs into the red base. I was headin' towards the exit when somebody grabbed my sleeve.

It was the Doc, standin' there all quiet and lookin' like he was thinkin' hard about something.

"I vas hoping you vould come zhis vay,' he said.

"Huh?" I asked. "Were you watchin' me that whole time?"

"Not ze entire time, no, but I had to get out for a moment and saw someone run into zhat building out zhere."

He looked pretty bad from what I could see. Rougher than usual as if somethin' was weighing on his mind.

"So… anything you needed?" I'm not partial to awkward silences in case you didn't already know that, Kid. The Doc was the ultimate Conversational Pauser, though.

"Ja. I… need to talk vith you about somezhing."

"Look, if it's about that last experiment-"

He shook his head. "Nein. It's… actually, come vith me. It's too cold to zhink correctly out here."

"I can agree to that," I said and followed him into the infirmary. He sat in his desk chair and I sat in another one that floated around the room depending on where it was needed. A dove promptly perched on his shoulder and began grooming through his hair.

"So what's up?"

He sat quietly for a long time, as if in thought. Kid, I was getting' nervous right off the bat. Somethin' wasn't right. I didn't know if I was gonna die again or what from the long pause.

"Punkin'," He said. It still sounded weird for him to use it, but I knew this was somethin' serious. "Tell me about your father."

"Huh?" That wasn't what I expected to hear.

"Tell me about your father- vhat do you know about him?"

"That could mean a number of things, Doc. You mean the guy Ma was married to when I was born? His name was Jeff. Just another wife-beater. Hell, had it not been for my brothers, I might not be here right now. Boy, that jackass loved to take out his rage on anything smaller than him, includin' all of us. Drank almost as bad as Demoman."

He nodded once or twice, his face contemplative. "I see. I don't zhink your mozher is married now though, is she?"

"Nah, Jeff left when I was like, seven. There was a big legal battle and… well, if I remember right the guy went to prison."

He nodded again. "Let me ask you this question, zhen. Vere zhere any other men in your mozher's life around zhat time? Any zhat you can zhink of."

"Not right off hand, no. Why? Where are you goin' with this?"

Another pause.

"Doc?"

He obviously wanted me to know something but… couldn't just come right out and say it.

"Vhen you first became a mercenary," I could tell he was avoiding the point, but in hindsight I can see he was trying to explain his reasoning. "You came here by yourself, ja?"

"Well yeah, of course I did."

"Zhere vas one ozher zhat came right before you. Not zhree days, probably before you showed up. I had some suspicions about zhis. None of us vere hired so close togezher, for one reason or anozher. You and he were zhe acception."

"Just spit it out, what's your point?" I was getting' angry at him. I didn't know any of these guys before I came here.

Unless-

"Vhen you vere knocked out some time ago, I did some snooping, especially after Spy became so angry vith me. You say your mozher vas not involved vith anyone, but she is currently engaged to ze Spy, no?"

I felt somethin' creepin' up my spine. I didn't want to know where this was headed anymore. I managed a quiet "yeah."

"And vhat did she think of you becoming a mercenary?"

"She didn't… want me to. She thought I was going to die."

"Zhat sounds about right. Zhe mercenary who showed up zhree days before you vas ze Spy, which confused me a little because of his level of skill. Vhy vould someone like him vant to be a simple mercenary for two warring brothers over a gravel pit or two?"

I found myself shakin' my head, partially out of thinkin' how ridiculous this all sounded and partially out of it… makin' sense.

"So what are you getting at?"

"I have been vorking on a DNA comparison over zhe past few days between you and zhe Spy,"

My whole body suddenly tensed up and the back of my head felt like someone had poured molten metal over it.

"You're saying… Spy's my…" I couldn't say it. I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to believe it. It wasn't possible. No, it couldn't be possible. Not ever.

"Ja. I don't know how, but… Spy is your father." By then he was leanin' over with his elbows on his knees, lookin' at me over his glasses. A wave of absolute horror swept over me, Kid. Pure dread. Just… I mean, I know you got a dad and all, but imagine for a second, the shittiest, most untrustworthy person you knew was actually your old man? What do you mean you gotta be married to have kids? In a right proper world, yeah, but this ain't a nice place. Maybe your ma'll explain the cruel side of the 'birds and bees' talk to you one day. For now, just know that my old man wasn't who I thought he was. Doc had evidence, plain and simple.

"Why're you telling me this?" I asked. My breathin' was getting heavier, tighter. Somethin' in my chest was just... about to snap, I thought. Turns out I was the product of a one-night fling between a back-stabbin' Frenchman and my Ma. It was not the sorta news any person wants to hear, I can imagine.

"Because, you have a right to know," said the Doc, and he put his hand on my shoulder.

"So I'm an…" I put my hand over my mouth as if trying to hold the words in, or maybe because my whole face was stinging. "an accident." My head dropped in disbelief.

I think I took Friedrich by surprise. I didn't think he expected me to actually care about it in that way. I mean, I probably wouldn't have been so torn up if it hadn't have been Spy.

See, Kid, I knew Ma and Spy were dating only after I met the guy as a merc. It made me real angry, honestly. I love my Ma, but she drives me nuts with this whole "Gotta have a man" thing. She kept findin' all the wrong ones, makin' us all suffer for it. But Kid, you've gotta stick with your family, even if they are a messed up bunch of people. Sure, between my brothers and Ma, we fought like dogs, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone in the world. She's the most kick-ass mother a guy could ask for. And seein' her put down over and over again made me suspicious. I think we all were.

But then I found out it went much deeper than that. For almost twenty years, they were seein' eachother.

I just sat there, forever. Feelin' more and more hopeless by the second. I guess the Doc could see it in me, the way I kind of faded into my own thoughts, going through every important moment in my life and thinkin' This wasn't supposed to happen because you were an accident, and This would have been so much better without you. But mostly what got me was theirresponsibility for what they had done. It was one of those moments when you question who really loves you and who doesn't. I had never even met Spy before I started workin' here. Yet I could only assume he'd been present in the background occasionally, here and there.

I wanted to… cry, Kid. I didn't know what else to do after that.

"Punkin'," Medic said, tryin' to snap me out of it.

"…don't call. me. that." I growled. I heard Medic scoot his chair closer. He grabbed my shoulders after a moment and propped me up. I didn't even want to look at him. "Scout,"

I didn't realize at that point that I was crying. Sometimes grown-ups cry, too, Kid. It's not just you. It's just a lot harder to make us cry. But when somethin' like your very existence turns out to be not as legit as you thought it was, sometimes it's okay.

"Should I not have told you?" he asked.

"N-no. I'm… glad you did," I said after a minute. I looked back finally with a smile I was usin' just to try and muscle through it. "I've gotten by this long as a bastard, why should things be any d-different…" I was tryin' to keep it together, but he must've known it was hard.

I've never known of the Doc to hug anyone before, except Klaus, and even that was really distant and formal, and I didn't even know if he was that kind of person or not to even think to do this. But he wrapped his arms around me and I got this firm embrace I don't think I'll ever forget. Somethin' about it just… tore me up and I sobbed like an idiot. I wish I was tougher, Kid. I wish nothin' ever bothered me and that I could smack talk all I wanted and bust up heads and insult everyone I know like normal and not feel the least bit bad about it, but it ain't that way.

You better never tell anybody I'm tellin' you any of that, hear me? But I want you to know this so you don't go off into the world thinkin' your so tough and invincible that somethin' can't ever tear you down. Because Kid, somethin' always does, and when it does, you shouldn't try to ignore it or hide it. I spent most of my life tryin' to become independent of everybody around me, tellin' myself how much I didn't need em'. Truth is, when help is offered, take it. Don't take more than they offer, but don't turn it down either if you need it.

It occurred to me again what I had thought of before. Even if the idea itself was a little fragmented due to the situation, I still thought Friedrich was a much better dad to me than anyone I could ever meet.

I wasn't out of the clear yet though…