Chapter 3- Denial

Neji looked sternly at himself in the mirror, wearing nothing but his briefs. He was disgusted with himself. The hollow of his neck was now the home of three very clear, and rather sore, hickeys. That wasn't the only thing though. His hips had bruises on them from the rough treatment that had happened last night. Those where the sexual reminders. He also had a few bruises on his legs from tripping up the stairs to Kiba's apartment (which is where the act had happened) and on his bed, folded neatly, was a black shirt. Kiba's black shirt. Plus, his head was killing him.

To say that morning was awkward would be the understatement of the century. He hadn't even managed to look in Kiba's direction when he asked to borrow a shirt to go home in. All he had received was a grunt in reply before that shirt had been handed to him. Neither of the boys had looked at or spoken to each other after that. Not even a goodbye when Neji had high-tailed it out of the building, going back to the Hyuga compound. He had thankfully managed to avoid being seen by anyone and had stripped off his clothing to take a much needed shower. Now he was here; in front of the mirror and cursing alcohol to the deepest pits of hell.

'What was I thinking? Oh that's right, I wasn't. I am never touching alcohol again. Ever' he thought angrily. What had possessed him to do that? Sure, Neji had never felt attracted to any girls before, but that didn't make him gay... Did it? He couldn't be gay. No way. He was just uninterested in such trivial things like relationships. He was a shinobi. Every mission he went on could be his last. That wasn't the right kind of profession for a relationship. He had seen people break upon receiving news that their beloved had been killed on a mission.

But upon reflection, Neji realised he'd never had thoughts about girls before. He'd never thought about sex with them, or even entertained the idea of a relationship with one. Even if he didn't plan to do it, shouldn't he have had the odd passing thought? He was by no means a pervert, but not even the raunchy magazines Naruto sometimes bought and tried to show to him had not provoked any thoughts about girls. He just didn't see the appeal. He decided to try a little experiment. He conjured up the image of a woman and imagined her naked and ready for him. He stopped as soon as his stomach did a little, unpleasant flip of protest. Well, that was certainly interesting.

Next he imagined a man. A very handsome man. He was surprised to find that image made his flaccid length gave an interested twitch. The fantasy man soon changed though. The image morphed, wild brunette hair, tanned muscular frame, red tattoos on each cheek. Kiba. Neji shook his head, heart racing. There was no way. Hiashi wouldn't allow it. He wasn't gay. And he most certainly wasn't gay for Kiba.

The erection in his underwear said otherwise...

Kiba stalked irritably around his apartment. He didn't know what to do with himself. Every time he stopped to think, images of Neji, needy an aroused, plagued his thoughts. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to will away the images. He shouldn't feel this way. Neji was his friend. Last time he checked, you didn't do that with a friend... unless you were a 'friends-with-benefits' type of person. Kiba wasn't like that. He especially wasn't like that with men.

He growled and tugged at his hair, wanting to tear it out in frustration. He was so confused. Why was Neji so damn beautiful? Why did Kiba even think he was beautiful anyway? "Shit!" he snarled, punching the nearest wall and leaving a dent. His hand hurt, but he didn't care. The tangle of confused feelings were far more distracting than any pain right now. "I'm not gay! I'm not gay!" he said to himself, trying to make the jeering inner voice believe him. "You know Kiba, It's much easier if you just accept that you still want Neji. Even though you had sake in your system, you were still sober enough to know what you were doing. Admit it. You loved the way he writhed and whimpered beneath you. You loved watching him come undone. You loved the way his pale skin flushed with arousal. You.."

"SHUT UP!" he screamed, putting his hands over his ears as if that would block out the voice. He pushed the voice all the way to the back of his mind, locking it away where he wouldn't be able to hear it. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear it, because deep down he knew it was true. He was attracted to Neji in ways he'd never been attracted to anyone before. He didn't want to admit it, and he would deny it until his last breath. There was no way anything more could happen. He launched for a pen and paper, grabbing the items and starting to scribble frantically. This had to end now...

"You don't know until you try!" Ino said, watching her friend sharpen various weapons. "C'mon Ten Ten. If you really like him that much, I think you should go for it!" she added, nudging the girl next to her. The brunette sighed. "But what if he says no? I really, really, really like him, and I don't think I could handle being rejected. Kiba he... he doesn't seem like the kind of person to go for a girl like me..."

"A girl like you! Ten! You are probably the best suited to him. You're feisty and beautiful and very good with weapons. You don't mind getting your hands dirty and some rough sparring is fine with you. It's a match made in heaven..." Ino replied, grinning. Ten Ten blushed and ducked her head. "OK... I'll think about it" she murmured.

"That's the spirit!" the blonde said, smiling. "I'm sure he'll say yes. And if he doesn't, show him why he should say yes. Take control! You are a strong, independent girl. Go out there and grab your man!" she added enthusiastically. Ten Ten rolled her eyes but smiled. "All right. I'll ask him the next time I get the chance" the brunette answered. Ino laughed. "Look out Kiba, Ten Ten's coming to getcha"

Neji was jolted out of his meditation by a soft, shy knock at his door. Hinata. Nobody else knocked like that. "Come in" he said, not opening his eyes. He heard the door open and close, followed by the soft footsteps of his cousin. "Uh...I have a message here for you...from Kiba.." she said quietly. Neji's eyes snapped open and his body tensed considerably. His hand snapped out, palm open towards Hinata in a silent sign to hand it over. The timid girl handed him the note before leaving, able to see he wanted to be alone.

As soon as the door shut he opened the letter with shaky hands, eyes reading over the words within. His blood ran cold.

Neji,

I'm sorry for what happened last night. It was a mistake. I think we should stop being friends and avoid each other from now on unless necessary.

Kiba.

Although things had been awkward, Neji had sort of expected them to just forget about it and move on. He had never expected to lose a friend. Kiba was somebody he could talk with about various topics. Naruto was a good friend, but he wasn't the best person to have a conversation with. Especially when he has the attention span of a spoon. But now, Kiba didn't want to be his friend anymore.

The Hyuga felt a stabbing pain in his chest, like somebody had just torn his heart out and left him with an empty, gaping hole. He didn't know why he felt such pain, they had only been friends for a few months. Why did he feel so bad? Was it normal to feel like this? He let out a shuddering breath, feeling a prickling sensation behind his eyes. No. He refused to cry. There was no reason to. "Maybe we need to talk. I'll give him some space for now, but we need to confront this. I don't want to lose him as a friend..." he thought to himself. Yes. That was it. They just needed to talk. Maybe that would make things better and they could rekindle their friendship.

Something in the back of his mind tried to say something, but he couldn't hear it properly. He closed his eyes once more, deciding to ponder these things. He recalled a memory in which Sai had shown him one of his silly books. Books about how love and lust could have a fine line between them, or how they could merge together to create one large tangled mess. It had also said about how one enjoyed being in the company of the other, anticipated the next time they would meet, found the other attractive in both appearance and personality.

These were all points Sai had said tied in with love. Of course, nobody ever listened to Sai when he talked about emotions. They just ignored him. But what was worrying Neji was that he could tick all of those boxes. Spending time with Kiba was something he did enjoy, and did in fact anticipate. The Inuzuka was also very pleasing to the eye. His personality could be loud and brash, but he had a good heart. Suddenly the voice grew loud enough to hear. "You love him" it said in a confident tone, as if stating a well-known fact.

Neji tensed and tried to deny it, but he found himself unable to. It was in those few seconds something hit him square in the face. Something he had secretly known for awhile now, made even clearer last night. Now, it was more important that he spoke with the dog tamer. He had to because he'd just realised what had happened. Neji had fallen in love with Kiba.

Close to the Inuzuka compound, Kiba sighed, not looking up from the dusty ground. He could hear the dogs nearby, but he only wanted to see one. He could tell Akamaru anything and not be judged or laughed at. He knew his canine friend would understand and listen. Maybe even try to give him advice.

So absorbed in his musing was he, Kiba almost missed the voice calling from behind him. Almost. "Kiba!" came the voice again, and the brunette turned around to see Ten Ten jogging in his direction. He gave a half hearted wave and waited for her to reach him, curious as to what she wanted. She smiled shyly when she stopped in front of him, seeming nervous about something.

"Hey Ten Ten. What's up? Is something wrong?" he asked. The girl blushed slightly, making Kiba blink. He hadn't seen her act like this before. She bit her lip and for a moment, he thought she wasn't going to answer. Finally, she opened her mouth. "Well, I was wondering if you were busy" she said, smiling. Kiba tilted his head. "Not really" he replied.

Ten Ten's smile widened. "Great! Would you like to come and eat lunch with me? I need to talk to you" she said. The Inuzuka contemplated this for a moment. He supposed Akamaru could wait, and it would be a welcome distraction to the thoughts about last night. Besides, he was hungry. "Sure. Where do you wanna go?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck.

Ten Ten shrugged. "A nice little place opened just around the corner" she suggested. Kiba simply nodded and began to follow along beside her. He couldn't shake off the feeling something was off about Ten Ten. There seemed to be a shyness there he hadn't seen before. And then there was that light flush on her face. Why was she blushing?

Kiba suddenly found a pair of chocolate brown eyes meeting his. "Is there something on my face? You've been staring at me for the past minute." the girl said, the flush seeming to increase just a fraction. Momentarily caught off guard, Kiba spluttered for a moment before he answered. "Ah, I was just wondering what you wanted to say to me..." he explained. Ten Ten stopped and the blush on her face increased at least tenfold. She stood there for several moments before she eventually spoke.

"I have been wanting to ask you something for quite awhile now..." she mumbled, picking at the hem of her shirt nervously. Kiba frowned. "What is it Ten Ten?" he asked, baffled as to her strange behaviour. He knew her well enough to realise that this was unusual for her to act so shy. Her eyes raised to meet his. "Well, I like you a lot Kiba... And I was wondering if maybe..."

Kiba's eyes widened slightly as she wet her lips before continuing.

"I was wondering if you would go out with me?"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'll leave it there. Sorry for the long wait, but I have LOADS of exams to revise for. No really, I have at least 6, though there are 8 of them all together, the others I just can't really revise for. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Personally, I'm not too happy with this chapter as it's shorter than the others, but oh well. Ah! And I just remembered. On my profile page, I post little updates on how I'm doing on my fics, so check up on those. Reviews make me happy, so I would love it if you left them for me.

~Loveless