It's been days since he left. He promised he would stay in touch. He never did.
Soon days turned into weeks, and weeks, turned into months, and so on.
When you're alone, locked in your room you have enough time to think. To reflect on all the mistakes you have done, and Raven did that a lot.
During the last 3 months Raven seemed to change, physically and emotionally. She looked awful, her eye bags were dark enough for someone to notice, that she didn't sleep at night. Her body was much thinner, since she didn't eat. During those months without a word from him made her depressed. Maybe he really didn't care for her after all.
She remembers what he once told her, that he would be there for her forever. Broken promises that never got fulfilled broke her. It pained her to recall such memories, and pitiful lies.
Raven didn't leave her room; she was more quiet than usual. Not that anyone seemed to care. She felt alone, with no one to help her. Or even console her, she didn't show it but she loved when Beast boy annoyed her. It made her feel like she mattered.
But not anymore, it's like they blamed her for Beast boy sudden depart. And it really didn't help how Robin seemed to be putting her down. He told her to get herself together, and to think about others safety in battle and to stop being so selfish. Yeah, Ravens powers weren't fully controlled now. Her mindset wasn't fully focused on the battle. But at no time she meant to put the people in danger.
But who the hell was Robin to make her feel useless? That made her angrier, her team leader just liked to push her buttons. She hated to be reminded of how she wasn't good enough, and how he pointed out every flaw she had.
What made her even angrier was that she was always saving Robins sorry ass. But he never actually thanked her for it. Pretty much the whole world made her mad. She saw herself as she was destine to become. Evil… and it scared her. She didn't want to let that happen, but how could she change something that's was meant to be?
She cried every night, of sadness, disappointment and anger. No one understood her; no one wanted to understand her. They just blamed her for all their troubles. She couldn't even acknowledge why she was on the team. I mean is not like she didn't do well for the people. But she was always known to be the emotionless freak. But why did it hurt more, when Beast boy said it?
Is not like she wasn't referred to that before. Well she was and even worse, but something about the way he said it damaged her. He said it with so much anger, but maybe he was actually saying what he really felt for her. She thought she loved him, though she had no idea what love even meant. And now she probably wouldn't even know.
It's like declaring the love, you feel for someone, but all you get is them laughing at you. Or worse, they taking advantage of the position you are in. And that's what Beast boy did. It hurt, it really did. But she would never tell him that.
The tower wasn't the same anymore, it was quieter. The team hardly communicated, since Starfire would always be in Robin's room. Some days they had their fun, and others Star would come out crying. Raven felt bad for her but yet again, isn't that what love is all about? Arguments and pain and then make up sex?
Cyborg on the other hand, was no longer at the tower. If he wasn't cooking, or even fixing his car, he would be in town. But not alone, just with a girl he met. Raven felt happy for him at least he seemed to find someone who could comfort him.
Raven stared down at the shore beneath her. She felt the slight wind blowing fresh air around her. She stared down at the beautiful city lights, shining her way. Almost bragging and giving the illusion of the city having fun. And she was left alone, with no one.
Maybe that was how lonely people end up, miserable. She felt like one, no happiness shared around for her to be happy. It made her sick, and tired to have to deal with this every day. How she was reminded how non important she really was. I mean she is half demon, isn't she suppose to get some type of respect?
She sighed, is not like it mattered. She wanted to end her pain; she wanted to close her eyes and rest. Maybe she could imagine that it was all a dream. That all this never happened.
But she knew that she would be tricking herself. What's meant to be is just fate, and now she was more than positive that Beast boy and her wouldn't stand a chance.
She often wonders what to do with her life. Sad lonely horrifying thoughts passed through her mind. Maybe death was the way to solve her problem. It really didn't seem like a bad idea, so she thought. Maybe death is just like falling. Except the part when you don't get back up.
Raven never thought she would go that low. Thinking about suicidal thoughts, thinking about ending her life. Right there and at that moment. It was sad truly sad. But it was now or never.
She wanted to close her eyes and fall. No powers, or second thoughts. Just peace and darkness. Forever.
Before Raven could do anything, the emergency alarm rang. She now had to go and see what was happening. It was now too late for trying to end her life. Perhaps it was a sign that she couldn't die just yet. Possibly… or maybe today would be her last day.
Raven teleported herself into the living room, and saw her teammates waiting for her. Robin seemed to be pissed as he told the team it was Red X up to no trouble.
Raven felt the sensation that her heart had dropped. It all came back to 3 months ago, since their little fling. Would he still remember? Her heart began to pound; she felt nervous she knew was scared. How was she supposed to act? Maybe if she pretended to forget what happened that night, it wouldn't affect her.
In the outside Raven pretended not to care, she put up her hood up. As they all headed to the jewelry store, where he was caught stealing. But nothing seemed out of place, like if the emergency was a hoax. Everything seemed to be in place, all the jewelry was in their own special glass containers untouched.
The hallway to the store seemed long. Many artifacts are displayed as the jewels are displayed like a museum. It was very attracting and possibly tempting to take one, as they seemed so eye catching.
"Red X come out and fight us you coward."
A few seconds passed everyone stood still yet no respond was heard. "Spread out." The fearless leader orders the team.
They all went to different locations; Raven had to go very deep into the store, while the others were nearby to each other. There was barely any light, left to see where she was going. She felt movement behind her; she turned around to see nothing. She felt chills run down her spine, maybe today were the end of her miserable life.
She enchanted dark magic in her hands, just in case things went wrong. She looked around to her surroundings trying to identify anything out of place. Nothing seemed to be wrong but her mind told her a different thing.
She felt a new wave of emotions cloud her mind, without any spare second for her to think she found herself being attached to a Red X in the wall.
"You should probably be more conscious blue bird, wouldn't want you to get hurt." Red X taunted as he emerged himself from the shadows.
"What do you want?!" Raven hissed as she struggled to get of the X that had her trapped and positioned floating unto a wall.
The dark thieve stood inches from her, "Let's talk; I honestly hate to see such a beautiful girl, turned into pieces." He simply stated as he continued to stare her down. Though it was hard for Raven identify what exactly he was doing, since he had his mask on. She knew by the emotions surrounding her, he was trying to affect her. He was trying to get information out of her, but why?
"Why would you care? You're just a pathetic thieve who looks for trouble."
Red X chuckled at her comment, and then he spoke seductively to her. "I'm just not a thieve sunshine, I'm actually great in bed too."
She knew what he was doing, it was so simple. He was trying to tease her, to break her and show her weaknesses. She wasn't going to let that happen, not today. Though he did manage to affect her, maybe not in a good way, she was angry at his sudden confession. Who was he to be telling people how good he is in bed? Raven would be lying if she didn't think about him being involved sexually with someone else.
Jealousy? No, but deep down she knew she wanted Red X all to herself. It was selfish of her secret desires to want that, but at the moment she didn't care. She couldn't dare to even think about if he actually got involve. Perhaps he did, is not like he wasn't Red X, he was pretty damn good looking for a no good life thieve.
"That was 3 months ago… LET IT GO!" she yelled at him as her heart began to quicken.
"Yeah sure whatever, but my point is that you aren't happy. Yes, I know I may not be like you. But it's pretty clear that you are putting yourself down. The green goblin isn't here, so it's tiring you apart. If anyone should 'let it go,' that would be you sunshine."
It's like Red X had a way with words you know? It's like he knew what to say, at the right time and the right moment. But why did it hurt so much? That he, being a stranger know what to say. But her friends didn't even bother to ask? Not even the alien princess, who always put her boyfriend first.
Silent tears fell down the empathy face, "But what am I suppose to do?" she asked quietly, not meeting his eyes.
"That's something for you to figure out." The young thieve said as he took the stolen jewel out of his pockets and tossed it to the floor, where it landed safely. "Hope to see you around soon…blue bird." With that he teleported out.
The weirdest thing about that day was that Raven had the power and the chance to come off from where she was being held captive. But for the strangest reason she didn't. She couldn't quite say she was pathetic for it, because she got more time with the spontaneous thieve. Her heart felt better with the words of wisdom he spoke unto her. Yet somehow what he said seemed like unsolved riddles to her problems. How do you let someone go, who has already left you?
After getting her team to safety and returning the stolen item. They were at the tower, right now Raven was getting screamed at for letting the enemy escape. Robin seemed to love lecturing Raven, and getting on her nerves. It really managed to get Raven to question, whether or not her team was the true enemy.
After she retrieved to her room, she sat down in her bed. It was an exhausting day for her. Though the words that the thieve spoke to her, where still going on in her mind. She looked around in her dark creepy room. Nothing but books and spells were in her view. What did she have that reminded her of him?
She found herself staring at her closet doors. She understood what to do now. As she carefully got up and made her way into her closet, she opened the door. She found herself staring at a gigantic stuffed chicken; the changeling gave to her a few years back. She also found herself staring down at gallery photos of him. Well not exactly him, but team photos, somewhere of both of them too.
As she enchanted the chicken and the gallery books filled with endless photos of the team, she walked to the middle of her room. She then made the items fall to the ground, as she positioned herself in an Indian style form, crossing her legs in front of her as she sat down picking up the photo gallery.
She looked through them, finding the changeling in almost every picture. There was one picture specifically of them both. He had his arm around her shoulder smiling as she gave a smirk to the camera. She remembered this pick, back when they flirted.
But that was the past, and now she was in the present which he was not even part of. So why keep a picture of someone who is not even there with you. The photo enchanted in black energy and slowly broke into small pieces as they scattered into the ground. Tears formed in her eyes, soon the gallery filled with dark energy until it was destroyed.
The hardest possession that was difficult for her to eliminate from her life, was the stuffed chicken. She felt like it was something he gave to her from the heart, and that it also meant something for him. Yet… he isn't here. So why would it mean something to her now? She wiped her tears away as she stared at the broken stuffed animal that lay scattered on the ground.
She wanted to forget, though it hurt now she hoped that in the future she could be happy even without him.