C is for Cosplay
disclaimer: i do not own Ouran High School Host Club. i do not gain any money from writing this. thou shalt not be suing me
warnings: not proof-read or read again after finished, for that matter, because i'm lazy
a/n: squeals at the reviews. you guys always make my day! i'll say this now that i don't expect many reviews for this story so i am forever grateful and happy about the ones EternalFalsity, Guest, 743, Satan's Trap and Katrina sent me. i want to get it out there that this story is nothing but just some FUN to write, like a stress relief out of writing something too intense and ugh…complicated. 743, because of you, this one-shot will be in the natural OHHSHC verse, and Katrina, your review made me happy for the rest of the day: i am now planning to write something in correspondence to Babysitting maybe in one of the later letters of ABC
"Why couldn't we just call a limo?" Hikaru whined, his face the utter display of boredom. It was amusing to watch as his facial expression contorted to that of a man daring to lick a swine's arse, as the freak (he had many sweaters on, and an idol with scant clothing printed on his shirt. For God's sake, mothers were covering their children's eyes!) That sat next to him mumbled something in his sleep and snuggled closer to Hikaru. Silently, Hikaru edged away, the chubby man hitting the pole that was situated in front of them and snorted loudly. The club watched in fascination as the commoner went right back to his slumber.
"You never think things through, stupid twin-devil!" Tamaki announced with his fist on his chest, carrying an abashed emotion while he ignored the mutterings of 'hypocrite' that was being spouted out of the twins' mouths. "In order to understand the thinking process our dear Haruhi, we need to experience the fruits of commonerism!
"Tell me miss, do we get off at this spot to reach the city commotion?" Tamaki pampered a young woman who was blushing as she was standing next to him from near the start, with a full turn with his body to face the female, his mouth opening slightly for a small smile, his eyes creasing and his long eyelashes delicately tickling his fine cheekbones.
"Y-yes!" Woman 'A' squealed not so surreptitiously as a pianist hand of Tamaki's rested on her shoulder in form of acknowledgement. The endearing blush on her face tinged her pretty skin. She muffled a meep. "I-in the next two stops! I'm...I'm glad to be of help!"
"My lady, I am willing to put myself into danger if it means getting saved from a precious maiden like yourself." Tamaki smiled that one hundred percent genuine smile, making him look even more of a temptation than he really is. His fingers grasped the chin of Woman A and tilted her face up to glance conveniently into her eyes.
Perched on one of the train's seats, Hikaru flinched. Standing up, holding the weird loopy thing that commoners haven't had the decency to label yet, Kaoru flinched in perfect unison with his brother. Rolling their eyes, they shared knowing eye contact. Baka tono. It seemed to be a force of habit. Well, two could play at that game. No, better yet, three.
"Ah!" Kaoru exaggerated his wobble in his step as the train came to an abrupt halt for the next stop. His acting skills were flawless, and he almost doubled over but caught himself with Hikaru's launched arms around his waist, preventing a pretty nasty fall. It was always about trust – something that the fangirls never really thought of.
"You're so clumsy, Kaoru." With the grip around Kaoru's waist, the elder twin pulled him in so his nose was softly touching the lower part of the younger twin's back. "What would have happened if I hadn't caught you in time?"
Kaoru displayed a soft blush that he had mastered over the years as he sheepishly stared over his shoulder to look at his brother. By now many girls and women, and even children had stopped, stared and cocked their heads as they plucked out the fluctuating tension.
"B-but..." Kaoru turned his head so he was facing the front, tilted slightly downwards to duck his expression. "Hikaru you...that wouldn't have happened. You always seem to...catch me every time." The twins blocked out the silent squealing that arose in the ambience of the train.
A cheeky grin played on the elder's handsome face. "That's because Kaoru is always so clumsy; he's always falling. What will I do if you were to fall into the arms of someone other than me? That would just be..." Hikaru's smile disappeared and imitated that of a pitiful expression, the showcasing of true sadness.
"Mariko!" A young girl squealed, and fainted into the arms of another female, one that was assumedly Mariko. Mariko had to catch her in time, enduring the many hisses of 'be quiet' of other womenfolk but her eyes never left the brotherly scene that seemed to be a gift from heaven.
"Hikaru!" Kaoru had tears in his eyes, looking appalled as he whipped his head back to his brother, the grip around his waist tightening. "Don't even speak like that! You know I wouldn't..."
The train came to another stop, the final one that the host club needed to depart to. A glance at Kyouya informed the twins of hurrying up their act. Kaoru almost lost his footing once again, but secretly smiled in content as Hikaru prevented his fall. He only said things that had at least a small truth to them anyways.
Hikaru sighed in disappointment. "Ne...this is where we get off, huh? Such a disappointment..." Hikaru whined like a little child. "I would have offered for you to sit on my lap. That way I don't have to catch you again."
Kaoru spluttered. "H-...Hikaru! Don't say embarrassing things like that...!"
"You're so cute." Hikaru replied with fondness to the extreme, his arms finally releasing their hold to rest on Kaoru's hips. With a nod approved by the king of the host club, Hikaru and Kaoru rose and exited the train, stepping around the puddles of blood produced from the nosebleeds of their audience. Really, Hikaru smirked inwardly, and we kept it vanilla.
The male population of the host club scampered to their final destination, a bit side-tracked as they had to tolerate the announcements of what a fast food stop and a phone booth were, courtesy of Tamaki Suou. People had stared at them in awe. If it wasn't because of their volume, it was along the lines of 'they all look like models...wait. They look kinda familiar...' and the like. Hikaru and Kaoru walked shoulder to shoulder as they entered the city commotion, which seemed to be holding an event.
"You there!" A man behind a booth shouted, over the hundreds of people who had gathered in front of the large building. He waved a couple of pieces of paper in his hands as he gestured to their group especially. "You're one of the groups who pre-ordered their tickets, correct?! Step over here!"
Slightly confused, Tamaki thought this was the excuse of them being the association of superior kind, and they should bless the commoners by following this man. The other members of the host club questioned this as well, but followed albeit hesitantly. The man led them to a mini entrance that was cleared as opposed to the centre link that had to have contained nearly fifty people in a queue. Before any of them could even protest, paper bracelets were linked around their wrists in haste. And before they could stare at them, they got pushed into the grand entrance of the commoner event.
"Tono..." Hikaru stated, as the host club seemed to be immobile what with the population the size of double their school, and wearing funky outfits that neither seemed to be aware about even though they friggin' had them clasped to their skins.
"Where are we...?" Kaoru finished for him, their eyes bulging out of their heads.
When Tamaki didn't answer, Kyouya gave his input.
"Obviously, we are in an event of bizarre cosplay." The pretty, bespectacled teenager fidgeting with the glasses sitting on his nose bridge. Honey cried out in fright as a costumed individual popped in front of him, his fake claws extracted and the ugly sight of the artistically artificial face grinning at the sight.
"Huhauhah...got you, kid!" The voice was muffled as it was inside a bigger head. "Nice cosplay." He added as he sauntered back in a scary walk, to two males – one with a brunet wig, the other with bizarre, dark hair that would have been realistic had the man adorned the right face. Underneath the brunet's arm tucked was a pitch-black notebook.
Honey clung to Mori's arm in retaliation.
"A cosplay event? You mean like...a con?" Hikaru asked slowly.
"If you prefer that classification, then yes." Kyouya replied in a calm, cool tone, his composure always perfect.
"The...the...!" Tamaki pointed at a direction of nowhere, his eyes bulged as if he had seen a ghost carrying his clone's head in the transparent arms. Hikaru and Kaoru slowly came into realization.
"O—" Tamaki, with his fingers trembling in his mouth.
"Ta—" Hikaru, his arm shielded protectively in front of him.
"Kus—!" Kaoru, his jaw hanging agape with the most distressed look on his face.
All three of them mentally involved, decidedly happened to throw their arms in front of them as they located the nearest exit and made a rush for it. They were however, stopped all at once by a harsh grip of the collar to the back of their necks. Mori, under a strict order, had them by a strong hold, yet his face betrayed nothing as if it was effortless, as if he wasn't restricting three grown, young-men from moving.
Kyouya answered this one. "I think not, you three." He stated in a drawl and the three stared. Again came out the real Kyouya that crawled out when there was a lack of merit that was to be received. "I was not rudely awakened in the mark of which the sun had not come to bless us thus far just to be dragged out of town, entered into a commoner's cavern and then proceed to come right back. If it wasn't..." The dark aura situated around the shadow king, and his facial expression barely moved save for the evil glint that struck his eye. The three cowered the best they could with the grips on their collars.
"If it wasn't. For a certain moron." Tamaki whimpered as Kyouya continued. "We. Would. Not. Have the limitation of backup transport needed in a time kin to one like this. But as Norio says, what's done is done and we can't undo it."
"Kyo-chan!" Honey beamed, and seemed to be the only one with an exception of Mori who wasn't affected at all by the shadow of the dark king. "Maybe we can have fun by exploring this place! We can buy Haruhi some souvenirs."
"Marvellous idea, Honey-sempai!" Tamaki declared with his smile wide and his pointer finger already directed. "Then we can comfort Haruhi with an extract of her own habitual essence!" There seemed to be a fluffy dog tail protruding from Tamaki's bottom as his eyes turned glossy and his hands clasped hopefully in front of his chest. "Haruhi...Haruhi, not only will you be ecstatic, but you'll have a gift to depict both you and I!"
Kyouya opened his mouth to say something but closed it in initial shock (which he will deny later) as an eruption of squeals and screams floored the group of being the centre of attention. In a blink of an eye, the host club was trapped in a circle of screaming girls—oh no wait, they could spot a couple of guys in the crowd. What, you can't blame them; they knew it's cosplay but what the hell were they wearing?
It seemed that they wanted to queue up instead of trampling over the six, thankfully. The first that approached them were three cosplayers. At least they seemed normal; a girl with a small build and pale skin, with fake brunet hair and large blue eyes, equipping a ribbon in the wig. Flanking her were two guys, one with an elegant wig of greyish blue hair, and the other with a unique orange that could never be found natural unless mutinied.
"Hello!" The cheery female announced, leaning into Mori's personal space. "We think your cosplays are so realistic! All of you look amazing, as if you were the actual characters!"
Tamaki steered back. "Uah...ah..." He incoherently emitted with his mouth wide open.
"Kyaaaaah!" The girl squealed, and the host club flinched. While she clung to an arm each of her companions, she pelted forwards, grinning down at Honey. "You're my favourite character! Can I please take a photo with you?"
"Calm down, 'Suki." Orange hair said with an amused pat to her back. "You're losing your character so quickly. Besides, what if these people were snooty and full of themselves? It would make a lot of sense 'yanno, seeing as their cosplay is flawless."
"We're not snooty," Tamaki said with his eyes wide and defensive, his posture almost ready to strike into a deep sulk.
What was bizarre was that the three cosplayers that barged into them just laughed at the comment, already fond of them. Once they took their pictures with minimal protest, even Kyouya was looking a little surprised. Only just a little, though.
"It seems as though we are being mistaken for cosplay." Kyouya deadpanned.
"But that's impossible!" Kaoru said with his eyes squinted.
"I wonder what kind of anime we're being mistaken for." Honey said in his sweet voice, his small fist pressed into his mouth as he smiled at Takashi's affirming grunt.
A small yelp was registered and Hikaru quickly turned to the side to find his brother missing. His eyes widened and he flinched as his back arched helplessly when an abrupt grip choked the tenders of his arm. Quickly, he turned around to see soft pinkish hair. With his eyes narrowed, the young teenager spoke with distaste and shock.
"Kaoru? What the hell are you playing-" His eyes scanned the ones in front of him, which were blue instead of gold. "Y...You're not Kaoru!"
"Oh?" The boy in front of him looked slightly disappointed. "You mean you came in a couple cosplay with another Kaoru? Damn. You're the best Hikaru here." The boy turned around with discontent sigh, disappointment clearly written on his face as he trailed into the crowd.
Hikaru had his jaw to the ground. "What the hell!?" He tossed side to side, but found that he was lost in the sea of people, Tamaki, Kyouya, Mori, Honey and Kaoru nowhere to be found. However, as he looked closer, it was exactly the opposite. He rubbed his eyes with sudden vigour, as he found triplets and twins and doubles of identical Kaorus and Kyouyas and Tamakis and Honeys and Moris everywhere.
Every five seconds, the background whitened with a flash of a camera, and Hikaru was starting to pale. What...what is this...? Where's Kaoru?
Mind reeling, Hikaru grabbed the shoulder of one Kaoru and turned him around. The person seemed to have a glowing look in his eyes as soon as they came into contact.
"Well hello there-"
"Your nose is wonky." Hikaru pushed him to the side and moved onto the next Kaoru, grabbing the convincing coloured hair and pulled.
The wig came off, startling the owner of it. "What the hell is your problem, man!?"
"Fake hair." Hikaru sounded bored as he tossed the wig over his shoulder and grabbed another, the shoulder so small.
Before the new Kaoru could protest, Hikaru angrily accused. "You're not even a guy!"
He rushed forwards.
"Kaoru!? KAORU!" He was panicking now.
Suddenly, he was pulled back into the willing arms of someone he held dear. Unfortunately, his weight was not registered and he ended up collapsing on top of the person that grabbed onto him. The victim cried out in shock and Hikaru produced a grunt as his head hit solid ground above the body's shoulder, and he landed on a soft stomach.
"Oof! Hikaru!" The voice whined.
The person in question stared up and sighed with automatic relief as he saw three faces looking down at him with different expressions. It was his real companions, thank God. Hastily, the young boy propped himself up on his elbows and spun around to face his younger brother.
"Kaoru you-" Hikaru found himself planting small kisses all over Kaoru's cute little dumbstruck face. "You're the real—mmf (kiss) Kaoru (kiss) thank every (kiss) single thing (kiss) on this damned planet (kiss)."
"H-Hikaru, calm down!" Kaoru yelped, turning his head from side to side as he avoided a huge blush that attacked the flesh of his cheeks.
Two hands gripping on his shoulders in a weak attempt to push him back in embarrassment made him stop. Though not before he leaned down for another kiss and planted one in that spot where others deem unnecessary. Those oh so soft, soft lips of his. Both of their eyes widened at the feel of their mistaken connection, and Hikaru hastily pulled away, his face the same bright red as it was on Kaoru's.
A pregnant silence filled the air; Honey's mouth hung agape, Mori as motionless as ever, and Kyouya shifting his position to a better stature in order to examine the jumble of twins in front of him.
"Well..." Kyouya cleared his throat. "That one missed..." he idly commented.
As they maintained the large gap in the wall that onlookers passed them by obliviously, Hikaru practically rose up as fast as a jet plane, dusting himself off and staring to the side with his face ablaze.
"Those people out there were scary," Honey commented, fondly squeezing the soft paws of Usa-chan, as if he conjured it out of sight. "Kyo-chan, maybe we can go home now?"
At this, the bespectacled boy nodded solemnly and started ahead. As he passed Hikaru, he placed a soft palm on his shoulder.
"I think that's enough comic relief for today." He said, before sauntering forward, Honey and Mori following after him.
When Hikaru and Kaoru were left alone, they wearily faced each other before averting their eyes in a synchronized motion. Then the elder boy stepped forward, offering his hand and waiting for Kaoru to take it, pulling him upwards and rubbing his shoulders comfortingly.
With no words at all, the two stood shoulder to shoulder and exited the wall cavity, their eyes sparkling with something atone to a good mood. As soon as they caught up to the three, Kaoru, as an afterthought, glanced backwards in confusion.
"Where's Tono?"
Somewhere...
Tamaki stared in confusion as he was surrounded with about fifty different Haruhis.
"Sempai!" One of them noted with surprise. "I've been waiting for you!"
"Hey, back off!" Haruhi no. 2 retaliated. "He's mine, I saw him first!"
"He's not yours! And besides, it's canon that Haruhi's meant to have short hair!"
The confusion slowly dimmed, and Tamaki stared with a goofy expression. Bliss.
a/n: reads work again and laughs. why did i even write this. sorry guys, this is so stupid ahahah...ahahaha i'm laughing at my own work. :') i'm not sure what universe this is in. hooh god who introduced me to write again? sorry for making you wince. SO. a suggestion for D, anyone? IF YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, THE COSPLAYERS WERE L, LIGHT AND RYUK FROM DEATH NOTE (snickers) AND TOHRU, YUKI AND KYO FROM FRUITS BASKET! ! !