Chapter 2: In Which Mexico Takes a Bride and the Twins Get an Ally

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. This is a boring disclaimer but it is true that I own nothing.

And

Here

We

Go

~1~2~3~4~5~6~7~8~9~0!

Alejandro Fernandez, representation of the great country of Mexico, grinned as he snuck into the Virginian cabin. He was lucky that he still remembered the spells of his madre; the locator spell was able to give him what state his love was in and from there he could high-tail it to the cabin to surprise his beloved. As he climbed through the window he made sure to be extra careful with the bag he was carrying; it did, after all, have all the special items he needed to finally secure his beautiful America.

"No! He will not be just America, soon he will be Alfred." Alejandro sighed in happiness. For many years the Mexican had tried—incredibly unsuccessfully—to woo his Northern neighbor. Sometimes he felt like giving up, but his good friend Natalya always encouraged his efforts. Together they had a secret club, the "Marry My Man At All Costs" or MMMAAC, for short. But when Mexico had seen his beloved today, and then seen how all the other countries where staring at him… GAH! Just thinking about still made the Nation's blood boil.

He knew he had no choice.

He would wed his beloved and protect him from all of those other rotten, vile, despicable sons of whores. Together he and Alfred would be happy for ever after.

(Part of Alejandro was puzzled by his sudden increase in aggression. The Nation was normally very laid back and had always wanted Alfred to come to love him without any coercion. But that part was small and overtaken by the need, the ache, and the near pain of want that filled his entire core for his Alfred.)

As he found his perfect hiding spot and settled in for his wait, he entertained himself with visions of his future with his Alfred. Ah! They would be so happy together…

~this~is~a~break~in~the~action~this~is~a~break~in~the~action~this~is~a~break~in~the~action~~

Alfred pulled up at a stately Virginian cabin. It was one of his oldest ones and had a regal Southern charm to it. Actually, calling it a "cabin" wasn't giving the place justice. It was a small mansion and beautifully crafted for the Nation by his government and was one of his favorite homes out of all fifty.

Unlike many Nations across the globe, the size of their countries required them to have more than a couple of homes scattered in a couple places; and unlike China and Russia, the twins were true Federations and needed to have a home in each state or province to best be with their people. So, when the other Nations found out about how many homes the twins had, there was usually grumblings of condemnations of waste and extravagance. The twins just rolled their eyes when they heard the stupidity. They knew the truth and didn't care what other Nations said.

Mattie's voice broke Alfred's musings. "Hey, what did you need to get here that was so important?"

"Just my survival gear, some emergency rations, and I am going to send out a message to Nanabozho."

"Nanabozho? You really think this… thing needs us to call in our spirits?"

"I don't know Mattie but let's be serious for a second." At this Alfred turned towards his brother and looked him in the eyes. "Not only have all the Nations gone insane, their people have too, and it all happened it at the same time. The only thing I think it could be is magic. And if it's magic, we are gonna need to fight fire with fire."

Matthew nodded. It was rare for Alfred to be this serious about something. His Southern twin was by nature—and nurture—a happy and easy-going Nation. He didn't like to be serious, especially since all the other Nations seemed to walk around with sticks up their asses on a good day.

"Alright, but let's not stay here for too long. The other Nations are still in the country and I don't want them to sneak up on us."

"Relax! They have no way of finding us. We're totally safe."

As Alfred was soon going to find out, the fey and the fates love to prove such statements wrong.

~another~break~in~the~action~another~break~in~the~action~another~break~in~the~action

As Alfred was upstairs gathering his items and sending his message to the spirit world, Matthew guarded the downstairs, keeping an eye for any enemy Nations (and he chuckled to himself without any mirth, for aren't all the Nations enemies? God, what a screwed up mess this was).

There didn't appear to be anyone coming and Matthew started to allow himself to relax. Al had a good point, there was no way for any of the other Nations to know where the twins had gone and the country was too massive to try and sense them out.

Just then, Matthew's battle-hardened instincts started to scream at him. There was someone else in the house. Matthew pulled out his hockey stick (yes, clichéd, but when Matthew went into battle he preferred having a weapon that felt comfortable in his hand and he didn't want to use an axe… the blood stains would be a pain to get out of his clothes. The hockey stick allows for versatility and if he didn't want blood, he didn't have to have blood) and prepared to meet the enemy.

Like the trained warrior he was, Matthew's steps were light and his back was to the wall allowing him to see all potential dangers. As he turned the corner, he had forgotten that his brother had a hole in the wall from an intense 4th of July party a couple summers back that had yet to be fixed. This minor detail, this tiny fact, is what allowed the unknown assailant to grab hold of Matthew.

Matthew screamed in terror as he was dragged into the darkness.

~oh~my~godness~another~break~stay~tuned~

Alfred heard the scream and turned to run down the stairs dropping all his gear. "Mattie! Hang on I'm coming!" Alfred didn't have time to grab any of his weapons, but he was glad that he'd managed to send off his plea for help to Nanabozho. Anyway it didn't matter if Alfred was unarmed… the superpower was a weapon all on his own and he wasn't going to let anyone hurt his brother, curse or no curse!

Just as he finished running down the stairs, he was tackled from the right. The world spun as Alfred and the attacker tumbled. But the young Nation wasn't a superpower for nothing. Using the momentum he pushed his attacker off him. In the adrenaline rush, he didn't even feel the prick to his neck. He faced his opponent. And stopped and gaped.

"What the hell? Mexico? What the fuck are you doing here? How did you get in? How did you even find us?" Each question was shot out like a bullet from an Uzi.

"Now, now Alfred is that any way to speak to someone who loves you and wants to protect you from those other raping bastards that call themselves Nations?" Mexico quietly chided his confused beloved. "Just like Alfred," he thought "always has to be so dramatic. It's the Hollywood in him I suppose. Britain says that India has gotten more dramatic ever since Bollywood really started chugging out movies." It didn't matter to Alejandro. Hell, all Latinos had some spitfire in them; it just made things more enjoyable in bed. At that pleasant thought, Mexico nearly got distracted by some NC-17 rated daydreams, but that was when Amer—no Alfred, Alejandro reminded himself, after all we're going to be married soon—started to speak again.

"Look, Mexi—"

"Call me Alejandro."

"Mexico, I don't know what crazy thing about marriage you've got cooking in that brain of yours but now is not the time. All the Nations are acting strangely to say the very least and I know I heard Mattie scream earlier." It was at this point that Alfred's normally sunny sky-blue eyes turned as cold as the most frozen ice. "Where is he and what have you done to him?"

"I don't know where your brother is Alfred, and none of that is going to matter in a few more seconds."

Alfred eyed the other Nation carefully. "And why is that?"

"Because by now the drug should have finished circulating through your veins and you are going to be taking a little nap while I get us out of here and to safety. Then we can finally have that wedding I have been planning for us!"

Alfred paled, "Drug? What drug? You're lying, when would you have had a chance to give it to me?"

"When we were tumbling earlier, goodnight Alfred."

And just as America went to answer he noticed that his hand wouldn't move. And that the world was starting to go dark around the edges of his eyes. And that his legs were weakening. All in all, he could feel his body start to shut down under the drug's influence. His last thoughts were, "Well, fuck me. I'm going to be a goddamned damsel in distress."

~break~in~the~action~break~in~the~action~don't~you~hate~me

"Matthew, stop squirming! The awesome Me is not going to hurt you!"

The accent and unnecessary use of the word "awesome" clued Matthew in as to the identity of his kidnapper.

"Gilbert? What are you doing here? And what are your intentions?"

"'Intentions?' Really, Matthew? You are sounding as girly as Specs. Kesesese! I am here to help you and your brother from all the other Nations. They're all acting totally unawesome, right now."

Matthew let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Before tensing again, it could be a trap. Why would Gilbert be immune to the insanity of the rest of the Nations?

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"Look, I am going to be honest with you." The albino turned the Canadian to face him. Gilbert had a very intense and serious look to him, like someone had just insulted beer in front of him.

"I feel the need to jump you and your brother like you have no idea. Even being near you is torturous. It's like all my thoughts want to center around how good it would be just to push you down and claim your vital regions… no it's more like an ache. Like I'm a starving and thirsty man and you're a full course meal at an oasis made of beer. Part of me feels like I'll go insane if I don't have you. But I'm able to fight it for some reason. Maybe its cause I have land in both of your countries and that keeps me grounded to reality. You and your brother need another ally, Birdie. You two are kick-ass. I know, I helped train Alfred and I saw you in action during Vimy Ridge. But not even the two of you can fight off every Nation in the whole world and that's what looks like will be happening."

Matthew was startled. It wasn't like Gilbert to be that serious about anything except beer, but then again, this wasn't a normal situation. And he was right; the twins were going to need more than just themselves.

"Alright. I'll trust you for now, but I want it clear from the beginning that if it ever looks like you can't control yourself anymore, Al and I are splitting from you. Fair?"

"Deal. No hard feelings."

That's when something alarming occurred to Matthew. He had screamed. Loudly. But his brother was not here yet to help and there was no way he could have missed Matthew's scream. Dread pooled in Matthew's stomach.

"Gilbert, where's Al?"

Gilbert looked confused for only a second before realization set in. "Alfred!"

The pair raced to the front of the house where they saw Mexico putting America into the backseat of America's car. The other Nation saw them, jumped in the front and sped off.

Gilbert cursed and spat at the ground. "Great! Now we have to go and rescue your brother! Damn it! Where does he keep his car keys, cause I know he has more than one car around here." While the former Prussian Empire searched the doorway for an extra set of keys, Matthew stood absolutely still.

"Ah-ha! Found them! Lucky your brother keeps all his keys in easy to find places near the door." It was at this point that he noticed Matthew's unnatural stillness. "Hey Birdie, don't worry we'll get your brother back no problem," the Prussian proclaimed loudly.

It was at that point that Matthew finally responded. He turned, looked Gilbert right in that eye and asked in a quiet, disbelieving voice, "Gil, was Al wearing a wedding dress when Mexico took him?"

~break~in~the~action~break~in~the~action

Mexico considered beating his head against the wheel in frustration as he sped south down the deserted highway. Why did he have to dawdle? He should have gotten out of there immediately! Still…

Mexico looked in the rearview mirror to his beautiful, sleeping prize and sighed in contentment. Alfred really looked lovely in his wedding dress. Mexico had managed to covertly gather Alfred's measurements to make the dress himself over a series of years and it had paid off. The white lace fabric clung and hung on his beautiful bride like a dream. The white color looked nice against his tan skin and was a wonderful way to proclaim Alfred's virginity. The only thing that put off the picture was the military-grade chains and wire wrapped around his arms and legs. But Mexico was one of the few Nations that never forgot how strong his beloved was and had to take precautions against his bride getting cold feet before the wedding. As Mexico examined his bride, said bride began to wake up.

And when said bride woke up and found himself in chains, wires, and a motherfucking wedding dress the bride was not blushing in happiness but in anger.

Angry blue met warm brown. "Alejandro, you have five seconds to pull over and unchain me… and… oh my God, did you also change my UNDERWEAR!"

"Boxers did not look good under that dress, my dove. The panties I had fit much better."

Alfred could only gape in horror as his mind tried to comprehend the sheer audacity—the sheer balls—that such an act of humiliation would take.

"You are dead Alejandro. There will not even be enough of your body to burn when I am through with you." This most frightening part of that little speech was the tone. It was matter of fact, a statement. What had been said would come to pass and there was nothing to be done about that.

"Now, dove I know you're probably a little upset and confused right now—'

"A little upset and confused?"

"—but you will see that nothing is wrong! We are going to be very happy together." It was at this statement that Mexico pulled the car over to the side. He unbuckled and shimmied into the back with his bound beloved.

Alfred's brain started sending warning bells. "What are you doing Alejandro?" He used Mexico's human name in hopes of calming down the insane Nation. Because Mexico was obviously insane if he thought he could get away with this. "You are a good Catholic Nation and you know it's a sin to have premarital sex." Alfred was really hoping that an appeal to Mexico's religion would stop the crazed Nation. The Nation was a good Catholic and had often told America (when he was trying to be subtle) that he would never have sex before marriage. Apparently whatever was causing the glazed look of insanity in his brown eyes was overriding the Nation's strong religious beliefs.

"Oh, Alfred. We'll be married soon enough." Mexico was whispering at this point and his face was getting closer to America's. America was lying on the back seat of his car bound by chains and wires, but that didn't stop him from trying to wiggle away. "I am positive that our Lord God will forgive us a little… earliness." And with that statement the Nation pounced.

Only to be hit in the head with a hockey stick. Alfred let out a huge sigh of relief. There was good ole Mattie… and Prussia?

"Mattie, thanks for saving my skin and all, but why is Gil with you?"

Matthew quickly explained as he untied his brother. "So Gil the Awesome is strong enough to withstand the curse? That is fantastic! Come and give me a hug." Gilbert quickly did as he was told.

A minute went by.

Two minutes.

Four minutes.

Five.

"Uh, Gil? You can let me go now. And you can remove your hands from my ass. It's not going anywhere." Gilbert let go as Matthew "helped" by pulling the reluctant Prussian away from Alfred.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I am fighting the curse but it's not always easy."

"Whatever. Let's get out of here before Mexico wakes up. Mattie did you grab me some clothes?"

Matthew looked blankly at his brother. "Al, we were more concerned with getting you back. We didn't have time to grab clothes for you."

"WHAT? But Mattie! I am wearing a wedding dress and women's underwear. I need new clothes!"

Gilbert looked at him and drooled a little bit. "You are wearing women's underwear?"

"Mexico changed them while I was unconscious, okay? It's not like I like to wear women's underwear and stuff!"

"Whatever, you say Al. We need to leave and get to the airport for your private jet. Let's go."

"Wait! We have to go back to the cabin! I need new clothes!"

"Al, we can't, the place could be crawling with Nations by now."

"But… I'm going to being seeing both of our bosses and their families! And the Queen! I can't do that in a wedding dress with women's underwear!"

"Birdie's right Al. We need to head to the jet. You are just going to have to deal with the indignity. I'm sure the base has clothes you can change into."

As Alfred was manhandled into the car and driven to the airport in his wedding finery, he sulked and mumbled, "Stupid Gilbert and Matthew. Perverts the both of them. They only want to see me in a damn wedding dress."

~that~is~the~end~of~this~chapter~

The

End

For

Now.

Author's note: Three chapters. Three days. I am about ready to collapse. As much as your continued love keeps me going, don't keep expecting this. This beast was long and the only reason I have been able to plug out as much as I have is because the very early part of this fic was already written in my head for awhile. After the next chapter things are going to slow down as I create more of the story.

But I do love all the good reviews I am getting, it makes me happy to know that my story is making other people happy. And I have been getting a lot of suggestions for pairings. They will show up to the best of my abilities. But people who bribe me with cyber-cookies will get more luck seeing their pairing.

Just saying, bribery is not always a bad thing…

Much Love,

91REDROSES