Authors Note: HEYO! XD Please tell me what you think; I would love to know XD I own nothing and no one apart from the following: Sawyer Talbot, Isaiah Talbot, Jackson Riley, James Gordon, Tyson Brown, Talia, Olivia (Olive),Daniel Jackson, Michael Cameron and James Tyler.

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This is my first time posting for the story after a year or 2 – those stories didn't go quite well :/ AND it's the first time I'm writing for this pairing ^_^ Enjoy!

Spencer

Things changed after that.

After that kiss, we had talked – we had talked a lot – hammering out the dents in what we had both assumed – turned out both of us were clueless. We talked until late into the evening, so late that we both ended up falling asleep on the floor with Clooney not too far away.

It was Derek who brought up the idea of going on a date. He was also the one who brought up the idea of going on the second – the third was on my insistence. It was a gradual process, both of us trying to get used to the shift from friends to this... It was only after the eight date that we labelled it a relationship.

The team knew, pretty much, from the get go – we didn't try to actively hide it from any of them, but we did hide it from everyone else. Hotch had, of course, reminded us that it was, in fact, not actually allowed – Rossi, Derek and I had reminded him that Rossi was seeing Strauss and, if anything happened, he could defuse the situation before anything happened. Penelope gloated, JJ fussed, Emily teased... Should I have been worried that I expected nothing less?

It was strange, a good strange, trying to get used to it.

A month, two weeks and three days after our relationship had actually been classified as a relationship, I found myself at Derek's – it had been happening on a regular basis now, well, when we didn't have any cases. Clooney seemed to like it just as much as we did – never would have thought a dog would like me that much.

Derek and I had been sitting on the couch; Clooney was curled up in his bed asleep. For the last couple of weeks, every time I had gone to Derek's, the man in question had tried to further out relationship – 'take the relationship to the next level', as people said... That night hadn't been any different.

Of course, I would always out a stop to it as soon as it began, finding a way to leave not long after. This was the only time that Derek had asked what was wrong.

The question was inevitable – I was just hoping I had a little while longer to prepare what I was going to say. I had always been terrible with trying to explain it, and I was sure I couldn't give the same disconnected explanation to Derek as I had to the police.

So, taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and just...opened my mouth.

"When I was fifteen, this girl – well, she was eighteen, not really a girl... – tried to get me to have sex with her. I didn't want to, to be honest, but I went along with it anyway... She wasn't all too pleased that I couldn't – as she put it – 'get it up'. She wasn't all too pleasant about it..." I babbled, the words coming out in a rush. "I managed to stay away from people until I was seventeen. When I was working on my PhD in Chemistry, I stayed behind one day to help clean up. One of the other students, he was twenty-two and acted like a TA most of the time, was there too and...we started talking. He ended up backing me into a corner... I never want to speculate what would have happened if our professor never ran in after hearing me yelling for help. I've never had an actual relationship and after that day in the classroom I never tried anything."

Derek didn't say anything, which I was actually rather grateful for; he just put his arm around me and dragged me closer to him, just hugging me. Not a lot of people knew, but the ones who did had gone over the top with their reactions – like they didn't know exactly what to say.

Somehow, Derek seemed to do the right thing.

Thankfully, my admittance didn't 'put Derek off', as it were. If anything, it made him adamant to make me more comfortable with anything and everything relationship wise – including opening up more. Derek, of course, started off – he told me about his family.

He told me about his dad. He told me about growing up. He told me about Carl Buford... Derek told me about university life and how he realised that, like me, he seemed to 'swing both ways', as he put it. He told me about joining the Chicago Police Department and everything he remembered with them. He told me about joining the FBI, joining the BAU. He told me everything.

So it was only fair that I did the same, right?

So I told him about my family. I told him about my dad leaving. I told him about trying to take care of my mom whilst I was a prepubescent. I told him more about the hell that was the educational part of my life. I told him about the troubles I faced at the academy and how, even there, I wasn't treated as well as others usually were by my peers. I told him everything. Even about the Dilaudid and the meetings that I went to – though he already had an idea about those.

"There is something I want to know that you haven't told me." Derek mused, dragging me closer into his side as we sat on his couch, watching some sports show on the TV. "You thought I'd react badly to you being bi – that was obvious... Will you tell me why?"

I debated lying – but I knew that I couldn't do that to him.

I debated asking him to just leave it alone – but, again, I couldn't do that.

I debated doing a lot of things but, in the end, it came to the fact that I was going to have to tell him. I mean, he was going to find out at some point, right?"

"Remember the case where I first told you about...the goal post incident?" I muttered, quietly, staring at a blank space on the floor.

"Yeah. You talked the kid down from shooting up the PD. What about it?" Derek asked, frown evident in his voice.

"Do you remember that I was late to the briefing?"

I felt Derek's nod, so the hum of affirmation he gave wasn't needed. The sensation of feeling the vibration of the sound through my back was strange yet pleasant... I never thought it could be before, but even I had to be wrong.

"When I came in and apologised for being late, Rossi had said 'I hope she was worth it' – to which you added 'I hope it was a she'." I explained. "Naturally, that didn't give me the most confidence in the world when it came to telling you about my preferences... So I just didn't tell you."

Derek had then made – what I referred to as – his 'I'm an idiot and I'm so sorry' noise, dropping his head back over the back of the couch and clenching his eyes shut. Over the course of us telling each other everything he had made that noise numerous times – even at work if he did something particularly 'dick-ish' – as Olivia would say.

Slowly, I reached across the couch and brushed the fingers of my right hand against Derek's hand, making his head turn towards me and open his eyes.

"I know you probably didn't mean it like that, so it's fine – it was ages ago." I shrugged, smiling slightly.

"I'm sorry." he sighed.

"Don't be."

"Too late."

My reply was cut off by Clooney dropping his head onto the couch cushion between Derek and me, staring at us with his big puppy eyes and whining slightly. Grinning at the dog I placed my left hand – keeping my right in Derek's hand – on the short, soft hair between his ears, rubbing his head gently.

Nothing more was said on the subject – nothing more needed to be.

Two months into our relationship was the first time I stayed the night at Derek's house.

We had come back from a case in Dallas – a seven year old had gone missing and it turned out his soccer coach had taken him – at three in the afternoon. Everyone was exhausted, everyone was starving, none of us wanted to work. We were all relieved when Hotch informed us that Strauss had gotten us the rest of the week off, all of our cases being handed over to another team – so, to celebrate, we all went out for lunch.

There was a diner not too far from the BAU that we had all been meaning to try, so it was only natural that we decided to go there. It had been there for a long time, but had renamed and renovated only three years ago – now called 'Johnny's', looking like it had come straight out of 'Grease'...even so; it was, supposedly, an amazing place with great food. Looking around, we noticed how the women working there had to wear this 1950s style waitress dress – dark blue on the top, light blue for the skirt, a white waist apron and white trim around the collar and sleeves...plus, white socks and black and white converse shoes. It wasn't something you saw a lot anymore, but it worked for the overall theme of the diner.

It seemed like lunch out with everyone was just what we all needed. I mean, it had been a while since we all got to sit down and eat, without a case looming over us or knowing that we could be called in on a case at any moment. It was amazing...

It was after everyone had finished and we were saying goodbye – after it was agreed that, on Sunday, we would all meet at Rossi's for a little gathering before returning to work – we all went our separate ways.

Derek had been the one to take me to work on the day of the case, so he was driving me back to my apartment... Of course, once we got there, I wasn't expecting to be told that Derek very much wanted me to stay at his place during our time off.

"We'll be spending it together anyway, right? So why not cut out the journey?" Derek had asked, smiling. "It's completely up to you, Pretty Boy – I'd just thought it'd be nice."

And, come on, how was I supposed to argue with logic like that? It made more sense to stay, meaning we would spend more time together... Clooney would, undoubtedly, love it... Besides, there was also the fact that the idea was extremely appealing.

That's how I found myself at Derek's house, a bag packed for the next six days in his room, whilst we sat on the couch watching a movie and Clooney lying at our feet – not that we were really paying attention to the movie, more focused on just talking to each other. The usual routine of just sitting there and doing something as mundane as watching a movie was...calming. Natural. Familiar... I had never once toyed with the idea of this ever happening but, now that it was, everything just seemed so easy.

That was something I never expected. Going into it I thought it was going to be hard, confusing... And, whilst, yes, it was confusing at times – it wasn't like I had any experience to bring into this – it just felt so easy. I supposed it was because of the length of time we had known each other before the relationship started... Derek had described it as the 'awkward get-to-know-you stage being over'.

"I was thinking of getting another dog." Derek mused, bringing me back into the conversation. "You know, so Clooney has some company when we're on cases. Maybe a small one this time..."

"You want a lap dog?" I chuckled, the image of big bad SSA Morgan being attacked by a small ball of fluff amusing me greatly. "Like a Chihuahua?"

"No, not a Chihuahua, just one that's smaller than Clooney."

At the mention of his name, Clooney lifted his head up, looking towards Derek and me, head cocked to the side.

"You'd have to come with me – the dog needs to like you just as much as Clooney does." Derek teased. "Can't have him yapping every time you come over."

Since being with Derek, I had gotten better at identifying when he was joking and when he truly meant what he said – it still eluded me at times, but I was getting there – so I didn't take what he had said personally. Instead, I just grinned, leaning against him as his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

"What kind of dog?" I asked, closing my eyes – content in that moment.

Our time off was spent well – in my opinion. I mean, late nights, lie-ins, lounging about, taking Clooney out, running a few errands which ended in me going to six different book stores... I had never been one to just lie about and do nothing all day, but I had been loving it these few days we had off.

Of course I was sure that had something to do with Derek – and Clooney, couldn't forget Clooney.

We pretty much did whatever we wanted every day, but Sunday meant we had to give things a little bit of thought. Rossi was expecting us to be at his house for seven that evening, so we had to think of something that wouldn't take too long to keep us occupied. So, after taking Clooney for a walk, we just sat down and talked – nothing out of the ordinary.

"Do you really talk about me to your family?" I asked, belatedly realising that I had abruptly changed the subject.

It surprised Derek – it took him eight point five seconds to get his head around it, shaking his head slightly.

"How do you know that?" Derek sighed, not even attempting to deny the fact.

"They mentioned it when Emily and I met them – after they heard my name." I shrugged, smiling slightly.

I couldn't really tell if Derek was seriously annoyed at the fact that his mother and sisters had 'told on him', or whether he was just playing it up. Sometimes it was still hard to tell, no matter how long I had known him. It was the same with the whole team – there were times that I couldn't tell whether or not they meant what they said or were playing around.

It didn't take a genius to realise that this would be one of the reasons why people thought I could possibly be autistic. Honestly, the probability had entered my mind at times, but never bothered getting myself tested – my mom needed the care, not me. Besides, I had gone this long without knowing, so why would I want to find out now?

"Why do you talk about me?" I frowned.

"You're asking why I would tell my Momma about my best friend? Or why I would tell my sisters that I found someone smart enough to show them up? Or why I would tell my Momma that I'm having very non-platonic feelings about my very male friend, and co-worker?" Derek explained, raising an eyebrow. "I was hardly going to tell Penelope – that girl would have made so many innuendos – and I wouldn't have been able to talk to the rest of them. Ever since the case with Buford, I've told my sisters and my Momma everything – I'm only keeping secrets if I have no other choice... Besides, you're a very interesting topic."

Derek finished off with a wink, grinning and taking a sip of the beer in his hand.

Was I? Was I an interesting topic? The only thing that I would constitute as interesting where I was involved were cases – I wasn't all that fascinating. Why did Derek think so?

Sighing quietly, shaking my head, I leant back against the couch cushions, cradling a cup of coffee close to my chest – Derek had seemed to have perfected it in the eight weeks we had been together. However, every time he made it, or I was drinking it around him, Derek would always smirk... Now he knew, he made a joke about it whenever he could, even if it was only a look.

It was hell when we were on cases, but more than welcomed when we were alone.

Derek and I got to Rossi's just after seven, the rest of the team already having gathered in the yard. As Derek and I followed Rossi to his large outdoor space, I noticed that Hotch had brought Beth and Jack, whilst JJ had brought Will and Henry; stepping through the back door, I had barely any time to get ready before I had a small blonde child launching himself at me.

But, hey, my reflexes were far better than what they used to be.

"Uncle Spence!" Henry yelled, grinning, clinging to me as usual.

"Hey. Hey, Henry." I chuckled, shuffling him a bit so I could hold him without fear of dropping him.

Jack came over, far calmer than Henry, greeting me right before the two launched into asking me to do a few magic tricks for them. It happened any time I was around them... The only person who had wanted to see any tricks before was my mother...Jack and Henry seemed to be my biggest fans after her.

Not being able to say no when it came to "the Babies of the BAU" as Garcia called them, I walked over towards the fountain in Rossi's backyard – greeting everyone as I passed them –, sitting down on the edge with Henry and Jack standing in front of me.

Even though the two boys had seen the majority of my tricks already, they didn't mind repeat performances. Each time they would try to guess how the trick worked – it would then turn into a game of who could come up with the most bizarre idea – but they had yet to guess correctly. It was entertaining though, for both them and me.

The team had joked that, ever since Jack was born and I had met Clooney, 'The Reid Effect' was no more. I liked to think that was true, since no dogs or kids had reacted as they used to. It was a nice feeling – installed a bit more confidence in me, I suppose. I mean, I had always loved dogs and there had been a few times when I had wondered what it would be like to be a dad...so it was nice to know that I wouldn't be barked or cried at if I did end up having a life with a dog and/or kids.

"How about, next time, I show you guys some Physics-magic?" I grinned – I had been practicing a lot and I had gotten a bit more distance on them – showing them the last trick for the night.

"What's that?" Henry frowned, clutching the quarter I had 'pulled from behind his ear'.

"I'll show you next time. Right now, I think Uncle Dave's put out some chocolate."

Just like that, the two raced off towards their parents, both of them being held back from practically jumping into the chocolate fountain. Chuckling slightly, I stood up, brushing myself off as I did and just taking in the sight of the people I cared about the most – aside from my mom. Honestly, I didn't know what I would do without them.

Before, I was alone.

Before, I wasn't accepted.

Before, I didn't belong.

Without them, I would have overdosed on Dilaudid by now. I wouldn't have had the strength to stop, leaving my mom all alone. Without them, I probably would have given in years ago and ended my life, just like I wanted to, many times. Without them, my family would only consist of my mom.

It was hard for me to make friends, which was obvious. I didn't really know how to act with them, because I never grew up with friends – only my mom and my books. They all knew that – Beth and Will knew that – but they didn't mock me... They helped me. They put up with my weirdness.

I belonged.

"You ok, Pretty Boy?" Derek asked, his voice coming from my fight, his arm slipping around me.

"I'm great." I nodded.

That was the first time I had said that and meant it completely.

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