AN: K, this was written well before ep. 11 so Josef's last name is still Konstantin. Julia is the woman Lee Jay threatened in ep. 2. And I haven't been very nice to Josh...
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Scene 3: Mayor's Christmas Ball - Christmas Eve. 9pm.
Beth and Marissa walk into the ballroom. There are brightly dressed people everywhere, immaculate and powerful. Beth is glowing in a 50's style cocktail dress: sleeveless, white, cinched in at the waist and curving round her hips to the floor. Below her hips, the fabric overlaps when she is standing still but pulls apart above her knee as she moves. It wraps around her like bright moonlight. Marissa has handed her coat off to an attendant and emerges in a lacy, black sheath. The sixteen piece band is playing a mix of easy listening and ballroom dance music.
Marissa [anticipation colours her voice]: Shall we mingle?
Beth takes a deep breath and meets Marissa's eye.
Beth: Let's!
They both sweep through the room, making for Julia Stevens who is holding court in style with prominent businessmen.
Julia [delightedly]: Beth, how lovely to see you! Hello, Marissa.
Beth [smiling widely]: How are you?
Julia nods slightly and squeezes Beth's hand slightly.
Julia: Fine now, Beth. And you? I heard about you and Josh. I'm sorry.
Marissa [smirking]: Don't be. [nudges Beth] Alright ladies, I'm going to mingle some more. Beth, we're at table 3.
Julia [raising her eyebrows]: Friends in high places!
Beth laughs.
Beth: No. One of the Aides has it bad for Marissa. She recruited me as a chaperon.
Julia shakes her head.
Julia: I don't know how she does it, but that woman doesn't need a chaperon. She needs a fire extinguisher! Come on, come and meet some of the businessmen who drive the city. [taking Beth's arm] You never know when a contact's useful.
Beth nods in deference, a big smile on her face. She is introduced to a group of older men and stands chatting with them.
Across the room, Mick is suffering in silence. Josef is seated at table 6 and has his arm around a young brunette and is listening delightedly to her. Mick is standing with a group of young women, one older woman in attendance. She has been eagerly chattering to him about her daughter, while he is eyeing a lovely red-head.
Mrs. Steffenberger: Zoe is so...artistic. She has her own studio, you know, and some of her work is really challenging the conventions of modern art.
Mick [politely]: How fortunate for her.
He looks back at the red-head.
Mick [leaning slightly towards the red-head]: No, you wouldn't have seen any of my gigs...
Zoe [traces of sarcasm]: Yes, isn't it? But, I'm sure Mr St John isn't interested in my art work...why don't you ask him what he does?
Mrs. Steffenberger looks at Mick expectantly.
Mick: I'm a Private Investigator.
Mrs. Steffenberger [brightly]: You must be very good at finding people, Mr. St John!
Mick takes a hasty sip of his scotch. Josef who has been listening to this exchange finally decides to rescue Mick.
He disengages from the captivating brunette and casually strolls up.
Josef: Ah, Madame. [kisses Mrs. Steffenberger's hand] How charming to see you again.
Mrs. Steffenberger [blushing]: Mr. Konstantin. How nice to see you again. So charming!
Josef [smirking]: My mother was very insistent. Manners last your whole life you know...
Redhead [archly, to Mick]: Would you like a drink, Mr. St John?
She runs a finger down the side of her neck seductively.
Mick [staring at her neck]: I think I might have to pass out - on this. Pass on this.
The redhead nods graciously and shimmies away, aware that he's still watching.
Josef is starting to make his excuses to leave, when he looks up and sees Beth. He turns back to the matronly woman.
Josef [winsomely]: You must let me help you replenish your drink! [turns to face his friend] Mick, won't you find the lovely lady another glass of, champagne, was it?
Mrs. Steffenberger: Oh, thank you!
Mick shoots a furious look at Josef. Then, he smiles and offers his arm to Mrs. Steffenberger. They walk towards the bar.
Josef walks over to where the businessmen are congregated. He greets them with great aplomb and bonhomie.
Josef [benevolently]: Merry Christmas! Don't we look lovely? I hope you've all made provisions for the destitute at the door - cheques and credit cards accepted. Season of goodwill and all.
Accountant: Mr. Konstantin. [shakes hands] Provisions, you said?
Josef: Yes. For the destitute.
Lawyer: Ha ha! Philanthropy is such an intrinsic part of any business. I am confident that we have all given generously at Christmas season. I know I have!
The Lawyer turns to Beth and smiles directly at her.
Josef [dryly]: The scales of justice are redressed, I'm sure.
Beth takes another sip from her glass and enjoys the spectacle of Josef heckling L.A's elite.
Josef: Ah, Beth. How nice to see you again.
Beth [smiles at him]: Josef.
Josef [nodding at Julia]: Miss Stevens.
Julia [looking curiously from Beth to Josef]: Mr. Konstantin, Merry Christmas!
Josef [staccato]: Yes. Quite.
The businessmen have moved slightly away. Julia waves at another person from across the room.
Julia: Excuse me. I must go catch up with Kristy.
Beth: Of course.
Julia walks away.
Beth: So, what did you give to the orphans and widows this year?
Josef: About $30 million.
Beth chokes on her champagne.
Josef looks at her interestedly.
Josef: You know, for a young human, you're surprisingly cynical.
Beth: I...
Josef: Yes, of course.
Beth starts laughing.
Beth: So, did you come alone?
Josef [smiling broadly]: Why?
Beth: No reason. Just wondered.
Josef: If Mick was here?
Beth: Ah...no! Why does everyone seem to think....?
Josef: Hmm. And no answers to that question come to mind?
Beth: Look, he's already made it very clear and...I don't want to talk about this!
Josef: He's off baby-sitting someone. I just wanted to catch-up with you. Pre-emptive, you know.
Beth: Pre-empting what?
Josef: He always gets a bit low around Christmas. And you two haven't exactly been on the greatest terms recently. I just need to know that you're not going to make things...worse.
Beth [exasperated]: Josef, I have no intention of making Mick feel worse. How could I? I didn't even know you were going to be here. I just came with a friend.
Josef: Yes, the human boyfriend. That's exactly what I'm -
Beth (deliberately): Not - Josh.
Josef cocks an eyebrow at her.
Beth: We broke up. Last week. I mean, he broke up with me. I came with my friend, Marissa.
Josef [eyes scanning the dance floor]: Have you told him?
Beth: No. It's none of his business.
Josef looks at her carefully. She avoids his eye. He smiles at her winsomely and holds out a hand.
Josef: Would you like to dance?
Beth: Excuse me?
Josef: Dance. [sighs] I won't tear your dress or step on your feet. You're more likely to do that to me; you humans move like barnyard animals. [distastefully]
Beth [taking his hand, grins cheekily]: Cluck...
Josef leads her out. They move into a waltz.
Beth [quietly]: Why did you tell me about Mick?
Josef [mouth quirks]: To stop you from trying to stake him when he does the woe-is-me act for you.
Beth rolls her eyes.
Josef: He's single-handedly bringing down the tone of the entire city. A distinct lack of peace, goodwill and love, and all that.
Beth [indignantly]: He lacks goodwill, love and peace?
Josef: Feisty aren't we? [pauses] Christmas for Vamps is different. It's difficult to get into the spirit if your food also wants to be your friend...
Beth: He doesn't think like that!
Josef: And by he I gather you mean my good friend, Mick, the Reluctant Vampire.
She looks across the room and catches sight of Josh. He's standing with a listless blonde, and is staring at Beth.
Josef follows her gaze.
Josef: Speak of the DA. Josh seems to like them blonde.
Beth [wrinkles her nose]: I couldn't care less. But honestly, she looks so...anaemic!
Josef [chuckling]: Good catch, human!
Beth [stares at him]: How -?
Josef taps the side of his nose.
Beth: Right.
Josh is moving towards them. Josef looks in the opposite direction and catches sight of Mick, standing perfectly still and staring at Beth.
Josh [tightly]: Well, well...why isn't this a surprise?
Beth: Josh, what are you doing? We're dancing!
Josh [nastily]: Yes, and where's Mick? Why're you settling for second-best?
Josef [to Beth]: You know, I take it back. Peace, goodwill and love in abundance; how I've misjudged him.
Josef [sarcastically, to Josh, making a great show of looking around]: Did you mislay your partner?
Josh [angrily]: I'd like to speak to Beth, please.
Josef: I see. You want my partner.
Beth [scandalized]: Josh, you can't cut in. People are staring!
Josef [to Beth]: Well, you've stepped on my feet three times. [to Josh] She's all yours.
Josef walks away. Beth gapes after him until Josh pulls her closer.
Josef sidles up to where Mick is standing.
Mick: A nice exhibition. I thought you didn't approve of getting tangled up with mortals?
Josef [flicking an imaginary speck off his immaculate cuff]: I gave her back, didn't I? How is our dear Mrs. Steffenberger?
Mick [turning to Josef]: God damn you, Josef! What the hell were you thinking?
Josef [lightly]: I thought I'd find a good purpose for that bloodhound face you're wearing...
Mick doesn't crack a smile. He's gazing moodily at Beth and Josh.
Josef: You know, I feel a bit sorry for her.
Mick still doesn't answer.
Josef: He's likely to bore her into going back to him.
Mick [snapping out of it]: What?
Josef [eyes glittering]: He broke up with her last week. She's footloose and fancy-free. Single.
Mick narrows his eyes at Josef. Josef raises his hands in a gesture of submission.
Josef: She told me herself. [shakes his head] You know, it's been over a hundred years since someone cut in on me. 1853 at Almack's...rude bastard.
Mick doesn't move. Josef sighs heavily.
Josef: I would like you to cut in and embarrass Josh.
Mick [softly]: And why would I do that?
Josef: Because if you keep standing there and staring at her in silence, I am going to scream!
Mick stares at his friend for a second and then bursts out laughing.
Mick [ruefully]: I can't, Josef.
Josef: She's miserable, you know. You can't just turn on the charm when you feel like having her around and then avoid her when you're feeling too vulnerable. Don't you think you could at least save her from that cretin?
Mick looks thoughtful. His jaw clenches as if he's struggling with a decision. Then he nods and half-smiles at Josef.
Mick: Done.
He moves swiftly through the careening couples to where Josh and Beth are dancing, Beth looks distinctly more subdued.
Josh: Don't you think you could avoid flaunting him in my face for more than a week?
Beth [tiredly]: I'm - not - with him. Anyway, it's none of your business. We're over, remember?
Mick [coming up to them]: Hey.
Beth: Mick!
Josh looks at Mick and shakes his head in amazement.
Mick smiles at Beth and in one swift move disengages her from Josh and swings her to him.
Josh: Oh no, you didn't..
Beth [gleefully]: Sorry Josh! You might want to find your date again.
Josh [to Mick]: I'm going to -
Beth: Oh Josh! Get stuffed!
Josh stops cold at her words. He stalks away. Murmurs and laughing faces follow him.