The Ultraviolence of Regina Mills
Chapter Three: Lucky Ones
When Regina Mills was 16 years old her mother told her it was time to start thinking about the "big picture."
"You're not going to be young and beautiful forever, my dear." Cora said as she brushed Regina's hair. The young girl looked at herself in the mirror and wondered what that meant.
"Mother, it's ok. I'm going to go to college and be a veterinarian." She said. Cora laughed.
"Oh, Regina. You're destined for much bigger things." She said with a knowing look. Regina pulled her head forward to stop her mother from her brushing.
"But I want to be a vet." She insisted. Cora stopped, annoyed.
"Regina, don't try my patience tonight. We're going to find you a husband to take care of you." Cora snapped. Then, she sighed and smiled again.
"I know you don't mean to upset me, but you really need to think about the big picture. Our family business has come a long way and I need you to continue our legacy." Cora continued. She began brushing Regina's hair once more.
"But mother I-"
"Silence!" Cora snarled, yanking the brush down. Tears sprang to Regina's eyes.
"Ow! Mother you're hurting me!" She cried.
"And what about how you hurt me? All I have ever done I have done for you and you just want to throw it away! Perhaps I shouldn't try!" Cora screamed. She walked to the closet and pulled out one of Regina's dresses.
"Mother, please!" Regina said, crying.
"Why? You don't care about the things I give you!" Cora said. She ripped the dress. Regina sprang to her feet and rushed over to her mother.
"No, please. Please! I'll be good. I promise. No more vet talk." She assured her mother. Cora sighed.
"I just want what's best for you, my darling. Now come here to mommy." She whispered. Regina did.
"I know, mother. I love you." Regina whispered, trying to dry her tears. If she could just stop crying then she could show her mother that she would be good.
"I love you too, sweetheart." Cora crooned.
When Regina Mills was 17 her mother showed her the man that was going to change their lives.
The morning began like any other morning, only this morning was different. This was the first morning that Regina was not going to share with her father. The divorce had finalized and she was to live with her mother. Her father could only see her on holidays. To Cora, this was the morning of that would begin the rest of her life.
"Mother, I miss Daddy." Regina whispered, sniffling into her coffee cup.
"Oh, come now, my pet. Henry was a drunk and a danger to us." Cora snapped. Regina flinched and remained silent for a few minutes.
"It's just you and I now, as it should be. Besides, I didn't love him. I married your father for two reasons. The first was to gain prosperity and the second was to have you." Cora explained affectionately. Regina said nothing. She reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Cora allowed them because they helped her stick to her diet. She lit one and dragged hard.
"I love you Regina." Cora said, "Now let's forget about your father I have a surprise for you."
"Now that you're old enough I want to introduce you to someone." Cora sang as she prepared her morning coffee.
"Who, mother?" Regina asked. She fiddled with the mug in front of her, wanting breakfast but knowing it would send her mother into a rage. She felt like she hadn't had a proper meal in months. She dragged on her cigarette again, then flicked some ash into the coffee mug.
"A friend of mine named Mr. Gold. He's going to help me rebuild the company" Cora said, her smile wide and beaming. Regina took a deep breath and tried very hard not to burst into tears. If she cried she knew she would be punished.
"I can't wait." She whispered.
"Well, dearie, you don't have to." Mr. Gold said as she strode into the kitchen. Regina looked up at him. He was small and thin with a dangerous smile. He handed Cora a tiny bag of something, but Regina wasn't sure what it was.
"I am Mr. Gold." He said, extending his hand. Regina took it and forced a smile.
"You were right, Cora. She is lovely." He said with a nod.
"If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to freshen up." Cora said with a hint of playfulness. She promptly excused herself, leaving Regina with this strange little man.
"So, you're going to help my mother fix the company?" Regina asked quietly, trying to smile. She dragged on her cigarette nervously. He smiled.
"Indeed I am."
"Oh. Well, that sounds nice." Regina said. Her voice shook.
"Oh, come now. There's no need to playact with me. I know you're scared. Here, would you like something to help with that?" Mr. Gold said. His voice was warm and inviting. Regina nodded. He produced a tiny baggie, just like the one he had given her mother.
"Rub a little of this on your gums and you'll feel like you can take on the world." He said. Regina just stared at him.
"Is that what I think it is?" She asked.
"That depends on what you think it is, dearie." He replied. Regina's heart pounded in her chest.
"No thank you, Mr. Gold." Regina said quickly.
"As you wish. But, if you ever change your mind then give me a call." He said gallantly. He handed her a business card. All it had was a name and a number.
When Regina Mill was 18, her mother told her that love was weakness.
"Regina, I can't believe I met you." Daniel said. The pair were curled up in the backseat of Regina's car. They had met six months ago when Regina's car had needed some work done. He was her mechanic.
"I can't believe it either." Regina breathed. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she was one of the lucky ones, one of the girls from the movies that found love. Daniel leaned into her and planted a kiss on her cheek. She held him closer; she wanted to hold him so close that they would become one person, even if only for a moment.
"Have you told you mother about us yet?" He asked. The spell wavered.
"No, Daniel, I haven't. She would be furious." Regina said quickly. Daniel sighed and brushed a loose hair out of her eye.
"Regina, I know I don't have much to offer you, but I know what she is doing to you. We can get out of here, start a new life. You can go to college. I'll work on cars. Regina, this is America. We can do anything here." He said. For a moment, just one moment, the stars aligned and Regina almost believed him. His dark hands took hers and pushed up her sleeves revealing the bruises Regina worked so hard to hide. She felt herself tearing up.
"If we get married then I can stay here. I'll be a citizen and then the rest of our lives will begin." He whispered. Regina kissed him on his forehead, then moved down to his lips. Suddenly a bright light lit up the car.
"Daniel!" Regina cried. Before he could answer, two police officers opened the doors and grabbed him. They pulled him out of the car. Regina scrambled after him, but he was quickly being searched.
"It's alright now, little lady." The officer said. Regina tried to push past him.
"Daniel! What are you doing to him?" She demanded. Tears came and she wished that she could get through one day without the damn waterworks.
"Now, I'm sure that you didn't know this, but this man is a con artist. He's here illegally." The cop explained. Regina took a deep breath, but it whooshed back out. Her breath was wild and she felt dizzy.
"Is this your car?" He asked. She nodded and thought for a moment that she might faint. She did. When she woke she was in her room, in her bed. Her mother was hovering over her.
"It's alright darling, you're at home." Cora said soothingly. Regina sat up forcefully.
"Daniel! Mother what happened to the boy I was with!?" She cried. Cora sighed.
"Now, Regina, there is no reason to be upset." Cora said firmly. Regina disagreed. There was a major reason to be upset.
"What happened to him!?" Regina shouted. Cora looked at her daughter.
"Regina, he kidnapped you." She said.
"No. No! Mother, we were just hanging out. What happened to him?" Regina yelled. Then, a realization hit her.
"What did you do?" She snarled. Cora sighed once more, feeling exhausted.
"My darling, a wetback mechanic was not a good match. I simply alerted the authorities." Cora calmly explained. Something snapped inside Regina.
"Why have you done this!? I loved him, mother! I loved him!" Regina screamed. She tore out of the bed and paced. However, she refused to cry. Not now. Cora waited patiently for her daughter to finish.
"Are you finished with your tantrum?" Cora asked. Regina's eyes flashed.
"This is my life, mother! This is my life and you-"
"Oh, you foolish girl. Your life, your future, belongs to me. Now, I won't have you throwing all of that away for college or a boy or anything!" Cora shouted. Regina trembled.
"Did you really think that I hadn't noticed what was going on between you two? Did you really think even for a second that I was going to let you run off with this-this immigrant? I have worked too hard to secure your future. You are not going to ruin this for me!" Cora screamed. Regina just stood there, shaking.
"Darling, love is weakness. It fades. The only love that lasts is the one between a mother and child. That's why we're going to find you a good match so that you can have a child." Cora threw her hands up in exasperation and then stole out of the room. Regina finally dissolved into tears. She couldn't do this. No, no, she couldn't do this. This was too much. She stood up and walked to the window. Then she walked to the bed. She walked to her dresser. She walked and walked and found nothing. She couldn't leave, not again. The bruises were still healing. She couldn't do that to her mother again, no matter what had happened. Besides, what would she do if he did run? Daniel was gone. He was gone and it was all her fault. She couldn't do this though. Then, she thought of Mr. Gold. She ran to her nightstand and ripped open the drawer. His business card lay on top of a book and a carton of tampons. She snatched it out of the drawer and darted for the door. She could hear her mother in the bathroom, taking a shower. This was as good a time as any. Regina crept to the phone. She dialed the number, her fingers shaking.
"Hello?" Came the voice on the other end. It was a woman's voice.
"Um. I would like to speak to Mr. Gold." Regina said, her voice full of tremors.
"Ok. Who is this?" The female voice asked.
"This is Regina Mills." She whispered. The voice relayed the message on the other end of the line. There was a long pause, then came a voice she knew.
"Hello Regina." Mr. Gold purred.
"I need help. I need to take on the world." Regina whispered. He laughed.
"I see. I'll send Mal over tomorrow and she'll help you out." He said. Then, the line went dead. Regina crept back to her bedroom and shut the door. She leaned against it and sank to the floor. She wept.
When Regina Mills was 19 she met Leopold and her life was changed forever.
After the Daniel incident had died down, Cora allowed Regina to take a job. She said it would help her learn how to raise a child and that men loved that. Regina took a job as a nanny under Leopold White. How her mother had found this job was a mystery, but it was wonderful to get out of the house. His daughter, Mary Margaret, was cold at first, but after a few months they were thick a thieves. Regina didn't spend much time with Leopold himself. He was always on his way to work or getting home exhausted. Sometimes they exchanged small talk over a cup of coffee in the morning. The house they lived in was gorgeous; it was a penthouse in Upper Manhattan and Regina loved the view. Mary Margaret had lost her mother two years prior and Leopold often appreciated having Regina around the house.
"You know, things have been so different since you got here." He said to her one day. Regina smiled.
"Thank you. I love it here." She answered and that put an idea into Leopold's mind. Three weeks later, Leopold invited Regina over in the middle of the day. It was odd because it was a Sunday, but Regina figured he needed to attend a meeting or some kind of event, maybe a funeral? Who knew? When she arrived she quickly noticed that Mary Margaret was nowhere to be found. This made Regina a little nervous.
"Ah, you're here." He said warmly, walking over to her and offering his hand. Regina took it, but remained nervous.
"Um. What's going on, Mr. White?" She asked. He smiled.
"Please, call me Leopold." He said. Regina tensed.
"You know, Regina, ever since you got here, the house has been light and Mary Margaret has been so happy." He began. He led Regina over to the balcony and stepped out onto it.
"It's so nice to see someone take an interest in my daughter. You do like it here, don't you?" Leopold asked. Regina exhaled slowly.
"Of course. The house is lovely and both you and Mary Margaret are almost like family." She said. Was she getting fired? Was he going to ask her to watch Mary Margaret for an extended period of time? Her mind raced with questions, but she never expected what came next.
"Regina, as you know, my wife died two years ago and I have been looking for someone not to replace her, but someone to share my family with." He said gently. Regina swallowed. Her mouth was dry. Leopold knelt and pulled a small ring box out of his pocket.
"Regina, will you marry me?" He asked. Regina's heart pounded in her chest. She thought she might cry or throw up. She smiled instead.
"This is all really sudden. I think-I um. I think I should go." She said. His face fell a little bit.
"Alright." He said sadly. Regina bolted. She spent the entire drive home in tears. When she finally reached her house she ran inside.
"Mother!" She cried. Cora was sitting at the dining room table, leafing through a magazine.
"Regina, what are you doing here? What happened?" She asked. Regina's face was wet with tears.
"Mother, Mr. White asked me to marry him." She whispered, horrified.
"What?" Cora asked.
"He said he wanted to share his family with me and he bent down on one knee and asked me to marry him!" Regina said, louder this time. She knelt in front of her mother and rested her head on her mother's lap.
"What did you say?" Cora asked, stroking her daughter's hair.
"I didn't say anything. I panicked and came home." Regina answered.
"Regina, you finally did something right." Cora said. For a moment, Regina was relieved. Her mother was going to help her get through this.
"Regina, I am so proud of you! Now, all we need to do is pick out a dress and-"
"What?" Regina asked, looking up. Cora's eyes were wild with delight.
"Well, first you need to go back and accept, but this is incredible news!" Cora beamed.
"Mother, Leopold is older than you are." Regina's voice struggled to say. Cora laughed.
"Oh, darling, age is just a number. Leopold White is one of the richest men in New York!"
"I can't marry him! I don't love him! I barely know him!" Regina shouted, defiant. She jumped to her feet and looked her mother in the eye.
"I won't marry him." She spat. Cora smiled and grabbed Regina by the hair.
"Oh, but you will, my dear. You will marry Leopold White and you will be the Queen of New York. Now, why don't you march upstairs while I give him a call and tell him that you've accepted?" Cora snarled. Regina's face emptied of emotion. She felt like she couldn't breathe. Her entire life was crumbling around her and there was nothing she could do. She couldn't run. Her mother just wanted what was best for her, right? Regina walked away, up the stairs, and into her room. She shut the door gently and walked over to her bed. She grabbed the pack of cigarettes on her nightstand and lit one. Then, she reached under her mattress and found the little white pills that had haunted her since the day after Daniel was deported. She hadn't taken them, not even when her mother screamed and beat her. She hadn't taken them when she wanted to die, or when even when she couldn't feel anything at all. But today was different. Today was the end of her life and she didn't want to live like this anymore. She popped two of them into her mouth and swallowed them dry in-between drags of her cigarette. In a few minutes, like magic, she felt a warm loveliness reach up through her body. She grinned and laughed. Regina is dead. Long live the queen.