Dear readers,
I fear it has been longer than I intended since I wanted to post last. And I apologize for that.
I'm back in college, for those that didn't know. I have been busy with school and life.
Sadly, I'm coming back not because I really have the time, because to tell you the truth I don't. But, right now… I don't know if it is stress, dealing with my problems at home or what; But, I fear that my depression is creeping back, and I don't know how to stop it. My medicine almost feels like it isn't working. Add into this that I really miss my boyfriend, and he hasn't called me on his breaks at work in days. Then, last night he got stuck across the bridge because of work and had to sleep over at a co-worker's house. And this coworker, just days before, had asked him out after only being broken up with her boyfriend for a day (maybe 2 at most). I'm not saying I don't trust my boyfriend, because I trust him. It's the girl that I don't trust.
Today, I was texting my friend about this: she says that I should make myself busy, to make him want me. If I'm constantly busy, then it'll make him miss me and out time together will be more valuable. And my reply was this: "What am I supposed to do? All I have is school, homework, housework, and deal with my dad. Take my mom to and from work. Watch TVD and TO, listen to music, watch YouTube (TVD/TO), play a game, read or write. I only get to see my boyfriend when he's off work, and so I look forward to when I can talk to him on his breaks when he calls me. And this friend is the only one that talks to me on a regular basis. My other friends are never online when I am, and they take forever to reply because of being busy.
I haven't felt like this in a good year and a half. And my medicine was working so well, keeping me balanced. But now, no matter what I do I can't block out the darkness.
It is good that I'm typing this, because otherwise it would be illegible.