"Beckett" Kate answered as she was walking out of the precinct.

"Hey Kate, it's Alexis." The teenager responded nervously.

"Hi Alexis, what's up." Kate was a little confused. It wasn't like Alexis to call, especially considering Castle wasn't with her.

"Not too much, you?" She figured it would be better to start a conversation instead of flatting out asking her to write the letter.

"Nothing, just leaving work." Kate could tell the girl was unsure of herself.

"Oh, I figured you were home already. My dad got home like an hour ago. I can call back later if it's a bad time." Alexis let her nerves take over. She couldn't believe she was this uncomfortable. She had talked to Kate plenty of times, but asking her for something was different.

"No, no its fine. I stayed to finish some paper work." Kate was starting to worry. Alexis definitely sounded off.

"Oh, ok. Well, I was wondering if you could do me a favor? It's not a big deal and you can totally say no."

"Yeah, sure what's up."

"You remember the internships I was talking about the other night?"

"Yeah, of course." Kate said kindly. She wanted the girl to feel comfortable.

"Well, they require a bunch of letters of recommendation, and I was wondering if you would write me one." The teenager asked sheepishly.

"I'd love to, Alexis." Kate had no idea what she was going to write, but she definitely wanted to do it.

"Really that'd be great."

Kate could hear her voice loosen. She felt bad that Alexis had been so nervous to ask her. She decided this would be a good opportunity to help show the teenager that she cared. Kate didn't like that their relationship wasn't on the best terms.

"No problem. Which one is it for?"

"The law firm, Walsh, Berman, and McCartney." Alexis answered.

Kate almost dropped her phone when she heard her answer. She couldn't believe it, writing this letter would be harder than she thought. But at least Kate knew Alexis would get the internship. That firm wasn't always Walsh, Berman, and McCartney. Up until 13 years ago, it had been Walsh, Berman, and Beckett.

"When do you need it by?" Kate asked pushing her thoughts out of her head.

"Next Tuesday is the deadline."

"Ok, do you want to email me some info?" Kate figured she needed something to help her get started, and she knew Alexis probably had a lot of qualifications she didn't know about.

"Yeah sure. I'll send you my resume and the link about program." Alexis answered.

"That'd be great, do you need my email address?"

"I actually have it. My dad gave me all your info awhile ago just in case I ever needed to get a hold of you." Alexis said a little wearingly. She should have just let her give it to her.

"Oh ok. I'll give you a call when it's done, and we can meet to go over it. I have to admit I've never done this before, I want to make sure it's alright." Kate said with a little laugh.

"I'm sure it'll be great"

"Thanks"

"No thank you. Seriously, this means a lot. I know your super busy." Alexis really was appreciative.

"It's a not a problem at all." Kate was disappointed that the teen thought this was such a big deal. She would happily help her out.

"Ok well I'll talk later?"

"Yep I'll give you a call later this week, bye Alexis."

"Bye Kate."

The rest of the drive home, Kate was completely enthralled in her memories. She could almost see a young version of herself doing her homework at her mom's huge desk, pretending her spelling worksheets were big important papers. She didn't spend a lot of time at her office, but when her mom had to work late sometimes there wasn't another option. And Kate didn't mind it. She loved being there. In high school, her mom let her sit in on a trial. Kate couldn't believe her eyes. Her mom was so graceful yet commanding in court. She was completely in charge but undeniably respectful. The way she could tear apart the opposing argument but still make it seem like cared about her challenger baffled Kate.

When she got home, She headed into the kitchen to start to dinner. Kate stuck a pot of water on the stove and went to cupboard to get some macaroni. Tonight was not a night she felt like making anything that took any time or thought. Work had been hectic, and she was still a little off from the day before. It was all hands on deck as every team in the homicide department had an open case. Kate hated when that happened, not that she minded too much having to work the weekend, but it was a lot harder to get things done with everyone fighting over the resources. The lab was running slow and not everyone was as okay with working on a Sunday as she was. Kate was a little annoyed and fighting the memories Alexis had unknowingly brought up. It was not a great night.

When the food was done, Kate headed to living room and flipped the tv on as she ate. All was well until she noticed her journal sitting on the table. Dr. Burke had suggested she start writing down her feelings about how the day went every night. Kate had tried it, but writing really wasn't her thing. Something about putting her feelings on paper made it feel like it was out there for people to see, but she knew Dr. Burke would expect her to have something tomorrow night at her next appointment. Kate honestly wanted to make progress, so she grabbed the small book and started writing.

"Thanks" Castle said to the barista as he picked up his and Beckett's coffee on the way to the precinct Monday morning. He knew Kate would be needing it about now, assuming she had been at work for hours and it was only 8:30. Castle knew she was disappointed when they talked to Cranston at the hospital and found out he wasn't their guy. He may have been involved in the drug ring, but he wasn't the killer.

When he walked in to the bullpen, Beckett wasn't at her desk. He spotted her and the guys in Gates's office. He decided it would be best to not join them. Castle couldn't help but notice what was up on her computer, it was a word document. He wouldn't have thought twice about it until he spotted his name. Well it wasn't actually his name, it was Alexis's. Castle looked over his shoulder and saw Beckett had her back to him. He couldn't think of any reason Beckett would be writing about his daughter, so he just had to read it. What he read warmed his heart. It was unfinished, but the letter was great. Castle sat back down quickly not wanting Beckett to catch him. Alexis hadn't told him about it, which concerned him a little, but he was definitely happy she had asked her.

"Hey Castle." Beckett greeted him as she down at her desk and took a sip of coffee.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"Ugh, just Gates being Gates. She doesn't seem to care that we have only had the case for 3 days and are working with narcotics to shut down a major drug ring along with finding the killer." She sighed. Castle couldn't help but notice how quickly she closed the file on the computer. "She's just stressed with this many open cases." Beckett added.

"You're defending her, that's a first."

"Yeah, well I still don't particularly like her, but I think things have been improving." Kate shrugged.

"She went all last week without threatening to kick me out, so I'm happy." Castle laughed.

"Yo, we got something." Esposito interjected.

"What'd you find?" Beckett asked.

"Hank Wilson's alibi fell through. I just got off the phone with his boss, said he left work at 5 not 8."

"Let's go." Beckett said standing up.

The arrest went smoothly. Surprisingly Wilson didn't put up a fight, Beckett figured he knew he was screwed when they showed up along with officers from narcotics and a search warrant. It was a relatively easy interrogation after she got the call that they had found heroin and a gun with matching caliber to the murder weapon in his apartment. Wilson confessed and gave up many of his buddies in exchange for a deal.

"You want to go get some dinner?" Castle asked as Beckett took all the photos off the murder board.

"Sorry, I can't tonight." Beckett said apologetically.

"Oh ok." He was obviously disappointed.

"Yeah, I actually should get going. I'll clean the rest of this up tomorrow." Beckett said turning to walk to her desk to grab her things.

"You're leaving at actually leaving at 5 o'clock and putting things off till tomorrow?" Castle questioned.

"I have to be somewhere. "

"Where?"

"It's none of your business, Castle." She answered sharply. The truth was her therapy probably was his business considering how much they talked about him.

"You don't have a date, do you?" He asked shyly.

"No, not a date." She thought about messing with him a little but the look on his face told her it was a bad idea.

"Ok, good." Castle blurted out before he had a chance to think.

"Good?" She questioned.

"Ahh yeah, Monday's are terrible nights to go out" He said trying to cover his previous comment.

"Oh I see, good night Castle." Beckett laughed heading for the elevator.

"Kate" Dr. Burke said gesturing for her to come into his office. She was happy he was ready for her, she hated sitting in the waiting room alone with just his secretary, but she was usually his last appointment for the day.

"How was your week?" Dr. Burke asked they sat down.

"Long." She replied. "I had to work all weekend cause we had an open case, and I got a concussion on Friday night. "

"Did a suspect attack you?"

"Yeah we got into it pretty good." Beckett said unsure of where the doctor was going to take this conversation. She didn't want to talk about work. She wanted to talk about Castle.

"Did you go to the hospital?"

"No, it wasn't that bad. I went to Castle's for a while and then Lanie came and took me home. They didn't want me being alone." Kate responded.

"Seems like your friends had everything under control."

"Yeah, they did. " Kate said with a smile.

"I'm glad that you realize that."

"I'm definitely starting to."

"Let's take a look at your journal. Did you find it helpful?" He obviously wanted to know if she had wrote about that night.

"No, not really. Like I said before I'm not a big writer."

"You don't like to share your feelings." He said bluntly.

Damn, how did he always know exactly what she actually meant. "Well, I don't know about that. I'm just tired at the end of the day and don't feel like putting every detail of it down on paper." Kate tried to deflect.

"I think it would be good if we kept your journal completely private. I don't want to know what you write, don't even bring it to your sessions. Use it if you want or don't, but I think it will really help you. Just know that it is for your eyes only and you can write whatever you want."

"Ok, but I did write one thing last night I want to talk about." Kate said quietly.

"Would you like to read it?" Dr. Burke asked slightly surprised.

"Not really, I'll just summarize. It's kinda long. Castle and I cuddled on his couch Saturday night, and I wrote about how I felt in his arms. It's a poem, I guess." Kate felt like an idiot saying that, but it was the truth.

"How did you feel?"

"I was happy. He made me feel safe. It was nice having someone take care of me."

"From what you've told me it seems like he wants to take care you."

"Yeah, I think he does. Well he kinda told me he did." Kate said quietly.

"Do you want him to?" Dr. Burke asked.

As soon as Kate got in the car, she knew what she wanted. She drove straight to Castle's apartment without allowing herself to think twice. This is what she wanted. She practically ran from the elevator to his door, but then paused. No, this was right. Kate took a deep breath and pressed the door bell. It was only a second before he opened the door.

"Beckett. What are you doing here?" Castle asked surprised to see her.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah of course, come in."

"Hey Alexis." Kate greeted the girl who was doing homework or something at the kitchen table.

"Hey Kate."

"You want to go in my office?" Castle asked gesturing in that direction. He could tell Beckett was nervous about something and was suddenly a little afraid of the conversation they were about to have.

"Yeah ok."

There was an awkward moment of silence. "So what's up?" Castle asked.

"Earlier, did you really think I had a date?" Kate questioned not completely sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"Well yeah. Why not? You could have." Castle said quietly not making eye contact.

Beckett nodded and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. He couldn't believe how adorable she looked.

"I'm not dating, Castle." She replied in a slow voice.

"Oh okay." He was so unsure about this entire conversation. What was she getting at?

"I told you that I wasn't ready to have a real relationship, but I want you to know I have been working on it."

"Working on it?" Castle was confused by what she could possibly mean.

"I'm seeing a therapist, Rick. He has been helping me move on from my shooting and ... my mother's murder."

"Kate" He breathed. He wanted to get up and hug her, but he knew he couldn't.

"That's why I couldn't go to dinner. I had an appointment." She explained.

"I'm sorry I assumed it was a date. I was just confused why you wouldn't tell me where you were going."

"Well, I'm not exactly straight forward with you."

"It's ok, you have a lot going on right now."

"I don't want to use that as an excuse anymore. For a while it wasn't an excuse. It was the truth. But things have been turning around for me. Dr. Burke has helped me to see some things I never realized or never wanted to admit."

"Kate" He whispered reaching his hand over his desk to hold hers. She accepted, and he gave it a little squeeze.

"I'm not sure if I'm there yet, Rick. But I'm ready to try. I want to give this a shot. A real shot. The other night everything just felt so right, and it wasn't the first time. I can't promise anything, but I can say I want to be with you."

"I've wanted to be with you for years." Rick couldn't hide the huge smile that was covering his face. He had wanted this for so long.

"There's something else I need to tell you" she said shyly.

"Anything"

"I love you too"

"Too? You remember?" Confusion and hurt were bubbling up in his eyes.

"Let me explain. Yes, I heard you. I wasn't ready to tell you. I needed to work things out on my own."

"It's just, it's been months." His voice was filled with despair.

"I know, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. But I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to lose you. I couldn't say it back. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I couldn't admit that you meant everything to me. I was afraid, Rick. So I pushed you away, I made you leave before something else did. I couldn't deal with losing you, I guess I thought if you were gone by my own terms I could spare myself the hurt of you leaving in a way I couldn't control." Kate was crying and looking at the floor. She didn't even notice that he had gotten up and now stood next to her. Rick gently pulled up her up out of the chair and into his embrace. She melted into his strong body.

"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered as he drew circles on her back.

"I'm sorry." She murmured between tears.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay." Castle tried to comfort her.

"Are you mad?" Kate asked with a fear in her voice.

"No, I'm not mad. I just wish we could have had this talk sooner. I told you always, and I meant it. I want you understand that. I'm here for you, Kate. I meant it when I said I loved you. It wasn't just because you were dying in my arms. I meant it, I really meant it. I love you Kate."

"I love you too"

At that moment, they pulled back out of each other's arms and shared the most passionate kiss either of them had ever experienced.

Thoughts? Comments? I love reviews!

Thanks for reading,

Meagan