Held Together by Werewolf Hugs

Chapter 3

Consciousness gradually seeped into Nolan's mind like storm water rotting the foundation of a home. He opened his eyes, barely aware of the problem. How could there be anything wrong when he was curled around a warm, muscular body with strong, heavy arms holding him gently in place?

Nolan and Gabe had never slept together before, and in the corner of his mind, Nolan knew this body wasn't Gabe's – the chest was a little too broad, and the legs were a little too short. The arms were a little too affectionate, and the hands were a little too strong – but Nolan could pretend that everything was okay, that the floodwaters would drain away and leave his home intact.

A thumb stroked Nolan's elbow, and Nolan couldn't pretend anymore. Gabe wouldn't do that. This was a different home. But maybe it could survive the storm. Maybe Nolan could hold the flood at bay. A chin nuzzled the top of Nolan's head, and Nolan gave up.

"You're going to leave." Nolan trembled as he said it, but his eyes were dry so he counted it as a win.

"What do you mean?" Liam whispered, his stupid, strong arms tightening around Nolan's body.

"You have to go home don't you?" Nolan's lips curled into a bitter smile against Liam's chest.

"Yeah." Liam shrugged.

"And I'll be alone," Nolan whispered, hating how much it hurt being faced with Liam's departure. Nolan was pissed at him for being so nice, for making Nolan like him so much.

Liam laughed, cruel and dismissive – he made it sound warm and light so that it would hurt Nolan more. "I think you're being a little dramatic. We'll see each other at school on Monday."

Dramatic.

You're always so goddamn dramatic about everything. Nolan's dad had shaken his head and picked up his suitcase, leaving Nolan crying by the door as he left for his business trip.

Stop being such a drama queen. Gabe had yanked his pants up and walked out of the room after their first time, leaving Nolan empty and sore on the bed.

Boy's too dramatic to be a hunter. We need soldiers not bleeding hearts. Gerard hadn't even looked at Nolan as he made his assessment to Ms. Monroe, leaving Nolan humiliated in a room full of his new peers.

"Nolan, what is it?" Liam's voice was filled with malicious kindness designed to make Nolan ashamed of his feelings.

"I'm crazy okay?!" Nolan sat up, folding his arms and glaring at Liam's handsome, shocked face. "I know you're just going home, and that if I wasn't freaking out you'd maybe still wanna be my friend, but" –Nolan let out a small sob and ran a hand through his hair, desperately wishing he could take back the last thirty seconds– "I can't help it."

Liam sat up and turned, leaning back against the wall as he looked at Nolan, eyebrows drawn together. "Are you mad at me?"

"Yeah." Nolan frowned. He was furious, scared, and mortified all at the same time. "But it's not your fault." He dropped his eyes to the blankets in his lap and smoothed away the wrinkles. "I really am crazy."

"You're not crazy." Liam rubbed Nolan's upper arm. The kindness on his face no longer seemed malicious. "You've been through a lot. Maybe you should talk to a counselor, not Monroe obviously but–"

"I have a psychologist. I don't know what I'm supposed to tell her about any of this..." Nolan sighed and gave Liam an apologetic smile. He felt less like sharing his secret now than he had the night before, but now he owed it to Liam to tell him the truth. "I have BPD. It's–"

"Borderline Personality Disorder. I met people with it when I was in anger management."

"You were in anger management?" Nolan relaxed a little. He should have been more nervous that Liam had an anger problem, but there was something comforting about knowing Liam could relate at least a little to having emotional problems. "Was it because you're a werewolf?"

Liam shook his head. "I have IED – Intermittent Explosive Disorder. I was diagnosed before I became a werewolf. I dunno know too much about BPD, just that people with it sometimes get irrationally angry like IED people."

"Yeah, and we have a lot of a-abandonment issues and mood swings."

"Are you on any medication?"

"No." Nolan relaxed a little more and shuffled closer to Liam on the bed until their knees were almost touching. Liam didn't seem as freaked out about Nolan's revelation as Gabe had been. "I go to a therapist once a week to talk and learn cognitive and behavioral strategies. I was on some medicine to help with my anxiety and depression for awhile. It helped with the insomnia too, but they don't like to leave people with BDP on stuff like that for too long. We're prone to..."

Liam nodded and gave Nolan a patient look.

Nolan didn't feel angry or scared anymore. He edged closer until his knees were resting on top of Liam's under the covers.

"We're prone to suicide and self harm."

A flash of distress crossed Liam's face, but he was calm as he squeezed Nolan's arm and stroked a soothing line over Nolan's bicep.

"I don't have that part of it, honest." Nolan met Liam's eyes and held his gaze. "I won't, like, hurt myself if you're mean to me. You don't have to worry about that. They just don't want us to have access to something we could overdose on just in case."

Liam was silent for a moment before lying down and patting the bed.

Nolan stretched out next to him and snuggled back, letting Liam spoon him from behind.

"Thank you for telling me." Liam rubbed Nolan's chest, and pressed their legs together. "I'm a huge dick to my friends sometimes, and it's no excuse, but I think it helps that they know about my condition."

Nolan swallowed and risked covering the back of Liam's hand with his palm. "So you'll still be my friend?"

"I'm already your friend, Nolan." Liam spread his fingers and Nolan's slotted between them.

"Can we go back to sleep for a while before you" –Nolan tried not to choke on the word. He almost believed Liam would come back– "leave?"

"Yeah. What are Saturdays for if not sleeping in?"

Nolan closed his eyes and tried to ignore the fears racing through his mind. He had survived his first storm with Liam. That was worth celebrating.

-000-

End Notes: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Next up I'm planning for Nolan to get to know Corey and Mason a little bit better. The hand stabbing incident will of course be addressed, but please let me know if there's anything else in particular you guys would like to see from their interaction.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!