Title: The things you do to me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight, this is a fanfic written for fun and for love of the series. I'm not making any money with it.
Warning: Angst. And spoilers to various chapters, especially 35.
(Please don't kill me, Yuuki fans? XD; I really like her too, and normally don't think she'd ever do this like that, (I don't think Zero would either, he's too honest for that) but... the evil plot-bunny demanded it, and there are distinct times where she does pretty cruel things to Kaname without noticing that she's hurting him, so...)

My ideal ship for VK would be if the trio could end up together in the manga, so that they can all be happy instead of one of the three inevitably being alone if Yuuki only picks one of them. So please no hating on either pairing in the reviews. ^^;

Summary: A few years after the academy, Kaname and Yuuki are happily married… Or are they? Zero still loves Yuuki, and Kaname is furious to suddenly realize something absolutely unthinkable has been going on right under his nose. Drama, short series.

Pairings: Kaname x Yuuki, Zero x Yuuki.

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Zero's eyes widened at the sudden change of tone and the horrified look on Yuuki's face. She hit the speaker phone button so he could hear too.

"I realize it's unsettling, ma'am, and I wouldn't want to alarm you if I wasn't sure. But I checked if it could be a malfunction and there's no doubt, the car really was at the bottom of the sea when we lost the signal. Ma'am…? Ma'am, can you hear me?"

The phone exploded into countless chunks of plastic under the surge of power that Yuuki accidentally let wash through it when she lost control.

"Oh Zero, what did I do?"

Kaname's normal route from the apartment to work -or even to the council- didn't go anywhere near the seaside cliffs. And purebloods had such fast reflexes that it made car accidents extremely unlikely if not completely impossible. There was no way that it could possibly not be related to the situation at hand.
Those thoughts crossed the hunter's mind as fast as they had crossed Yuuki's when she heard where the car was.

"Call him! Call his personal phone!"

She fetched her cell phone and quickly dialed Kaname's number. A digital-sounding voice chimed in. "We are sorry, but this number cannot be reached at the moment. Your contact is either out of range or-" Horrified by the confirmation of her dread, Yuuki flung the little machine away from her, not caring at this point if she broke a second phone. It survived but landed on the couch with the call still running, the robotic voice repeating the message on and on, barely audible from where they stood, but still ominous.

Yuuki was hugging her own chest with tears burning in her eyes, and Zero - who had been standing next to her when she called and heard the automated message just as clearly- had an anguished expression.
That was Kaname's private number, and only Yuuki and a few select people knew it. It was always on while he was away, in case she ever needed to call him.

"You don't think that he…that he really…" She sobbed and covered her mouth instinctively, face flushed by the tears.

"Can a pureblood really die from that?"

"It's Kaname we're talking about. If he wanted to kill himself, you know he'd make sure to succeed! He might have done something else to himself, other than drive off the cliff! Oh, no, no!" She broke down crying harder, and he hugged her to his chest, running his hands through her hair instinctively, not knowing what to do or to say to comfort her.

Zero's own cell phone ringing suddenly startled them both.

The hunter had an urge to follow Yuuki's example and throw it across the room too, but instead picked up the call nervously. He didn't have caller ID.

"Kiryuu?"

"Aidou? What are you doing calling me?"

The aristocrat's voice was off, and for a moment Zero had the strange thought that it sounded kind of like Aidou had been crying.
Other than that, it was icy, much colder than it normally was when he spoke to the hunter, and had a clear tone of urgency.

"Akatsuki and I were trying to get through to Yuuki, but without success. The home phone isn't working and her cell-phone seems to be busy. Say, you wouldn't happen to know where she is, would you?"

Zero faltered, but passed his phone to Yuuki.

"A-Aidou-senpai?"

Aidou kind of expected that. He'd called the hunter precisely because he both feared and hoped that by doing so he'd find Yuuki.
He didn't sound much more friendly to her than to the hunter; the sound of the blond's voice reminded her of how he used to be back at the beginning of school, long before she turned back into a vampire and he warmed up to her. It was perhaps even colder at the moment than it had been then.

He went straight to the point, almost sounding snappy regardless of her higher rank.

"Yuuki. Well, I don't know what you're doing and I don't want to know, but you might want to drop by the hospital. I'll give you the address."

Zero drove her to the hospital, and Yuuki cried all along. He was surprised to find out that he kind of felt like crying too, on top of feeling terribly guilty.
And he was really worried for Yuuki. For Kaname too of course, because of the circumstances, but his priority would always be Yuuki.

Over the years, he had often wondered if she was living an illusion, fooling herself into believing that it was okay to have the two of them and lead this double life. He was afraid she did so innocently, the way a child wants something so badly that she may not realize fully the consequences her acts could have.

Sure, she knew it was dangerous and that they had to be careful, but he often found himself wondering if Yuuki had fully considered the results of them being found out, if it ever did happen. He was afraid she might have been refusing to look at things that way, and that it might all be hitting her in a single blow now.

For him, the guilt had been there all along. For her, it was an inevitable thing in the background, but she completely buried her head in the sand and ignored the reality of it all. She loved them both too much to conform to having to pick only one, but she was also too soft-hearted to live a double life without remorse; hiding from reality and not looking at the possible consequences was the only way to keep going forward without sinking into the guilt. But it was all hitting her full-force now and she sobbed on the car seat next to him, deadly afraid for Kaname and crumbling in guilt at being the cause of it all.

Of one thing Zero was sure, she was not evil in any way. He loved her with all his heart, but he wasn't blind. Especially with the predisposition he had against purebloods, if he had ever suspected that she may be evil, not even his love for her would have made him stay. He was sure that she didn't realize the consequences of her acts, or how they may hurt other's feelings, in particular Kaname's.

Perhaps it was because she had lived her whole life with the idea that Kaname was this invincible force that would always be by her side as if he was indestructible. She noticed right away when she hurt Zero, because she had seen him at his very lowest, completely broken after he was turned by Shizuka, and she knew how hard it had been for him to even learn to live normally again, so she could quickly spot the slightest sign of hurt coming from him. But because of Kaname's attempts to give her all his support and protect her from anything, the pureblood had always only ever shown himself to her under his best light, strong, reliable, always there for her and rarely ever allowing himself to show her if he was hurt, assuming he had to always be infallible and dependable for her.

Zero wondered if perhaps that was why she had always been rougher with Kaname, not noticing when she hurt him, even when it was clear even to Zero. In a way, perhaps Zero understood Kaname even more than Yuuki herself did, when it came to some things.

Perhaps that childish side of her had never come to realize the power she had over Kaname, and the pain she could unknowingly inflict on him by loving the two of them when she had claimed to have chosen him.

Or perhaps, he was just deluding himself and it was her pureblood nature after all. The vampire nature at its most concentrate, urging one to seize that which they desire, regardless of the consequences for others. Zero winced at the idea, never comfortable when his mind strayed towards thoughts of Yuuki's true nature and how it might affect who she was and whether or not she was the exact same person she had been as a human.

But then, perhaps it was also his own vampire nature that lead him to seize what he wanted and keep coming back for her even when he knew well that it was wrong, even when he burned in utter guilt at the knowledge that Kaname kept him alive with his blood, and he repaid him by betraying him and stealing the only thing Kaname truly cared for, Yuuki's heart.

He winced at the idea, a renewed wave of self-loathing rushing through him and bringing him to the brink of tears.

Once they got to the hospital, they were discreetly ushered towards a private wing –vampire owned, and completely cut off from the rest of the hospital— where they had a normal ER area for vampires of various ranks, and a much more secluded separate area for the rare cases of patients from high nobility, and - even more rare- purebloods.

The doctor, a respectable-looking old vampire, deferentially escorted Yuuki while explaining that it wasn't everyday that they needed to use that area, but that they had to have one just in case, because it would have been unacceptable to put someone like Kaname Kuran in a mixed ER with patients of lower station. The pureblood had an intensive care unit all for himself.

Zero followed them all along, regardless of the fact that the doctor pointedly ignored him as if he either was a nuisance or didn't exist at all, and regardless of the odd looks he received from the staff - along with shocked whispers of 'A level D!' and other less flattering terms.
He didn't enter Kaname's room though, feeling it wouldn't be right, and just stood outside using his vampire hearing to pay attention to what the medic went on telling Yuuki about Kaname's condition, as they walked in.

Yuuki got one look and covered her mouth in shock as soon as she entered the room. Kaname was terribly pale on the bed, apparently unconscious, a number of beeping machines attached to him. There was some form of breathing contraption over his mouth and nose.

Yuuki approached, taking in the sight, renewed tears burning her eyes and making her vision all blurry. She only half-listened to what the doctor was saying.
"He only survived because he is a pureblood. A piece of the car wreckage actually pierced his chest and tore right through his heart. He would have been killed instantly if he was anything but a pureblood. As it is, he was stuck in the car and nearly drowned before he was rescued, but he survived that too, naturally." Purebloods don't die of drowning, after all. Yuuki sobbed, remembering the common expression that said that they mostly just died of broken hearts.

The doctor was visibly nervous, torn between his duty of informing her of her husband's condition, and the fact that he felt like he was doing something unforgivable by invading the privacy of a pureblood when they were shaken enough to show their tears. Yuuki couldn't care less if someone saw her crying at that moment though, and she ignored the doctor's worried glances.
He went on explaining that Kaname's condition was still grave but stable, his blood flowing with the aid of a machine until his body could mend enough for his heart to be able to support him. Kaname's pureblood healing was picking up, mending the wounds little by little, but it was much slower because of the large amount of blood he had lost.

From a medical point of view, the old vampire wanted to suggest that her blood would highly help, but she was also a pureblood, and therefore even the slightest mention of her blood being spilled would have been a crime according to their laws. The words would have to remain unspoken unless she offered first, so he just went on explaining the patient's condition in more detail.

She continued crying, not really registering his words and not replying. The doctor took the clue to exit the room, excusing himself and leaving her with Kaname and his other two visitors, which Yuuki was too shaken to have fully registered at that point.

She stood next to the bed, her body shaken by sobs, barely aware of the presence of Aidou standing, glaring at her from across the bed. Cain was sitting on a chair next to his cousin, eyeing him warily as if he was waiting to intervene in case Aidou said something out of place. Yuuki was a pureblood after all. However clear the situation may be to the two of them, it concerned Kaname only, and they had no right to decide for him and go against Yuuki.

Aidou's mouth was usually too fast for the two cousins' own good, though.

"Smooth move, bringing the ex-human here!" The blond gestured to the open door with a nod, in the direction from which he could feel Zero standing around awkwardly outside. Yuuki jolted at the sound of his voice, and Cain had a look of horror on his face before hissing in a low voice "Hanabusa! Kaname-sama might hear."

"He should! And besides, it's clear that he already knows!"

"Not now! Not in his condition! Are you stupid?"

Aidou's fury died down into worry at the idea that his intervention could be negative to Kaname. He couldn't help the anger that he felt at the inevitable cause of the pureblood's current predicament, but he knew there wasn't much he could do other than offer his unconditional support to Kaname as always. They would just have to wait and see what the pureblood actually wanted to do.

Cain and Aidou had been worrying about Kaname throughout the morning, ever since he had called Aidou. They tried calling back, but since he wasn't answering his phone they had eventually decided to go check on him. Not finding him at his office or at the vampire council, they drove to his apartment, arriving right on time to spot him leaving the parking lot, driving a lot faster than he normally already did. They had a bad feeling and decided to follow him around for a bit, which turned out to be a very good idea since he drove straight off a cliff right before their horrified eyes.

The two cousins had immediatly called a vampire emergency number, and dove into the water in a frenzied panic to tear the car wreckage apart and pull Kaname out while they waited for the ambulance to arrive.
Aidou's hands were bandaged tightly where he had very much torn the flesh right off his bones while trying to pry the wreck open faster to free the pureblood.

The blond felt like those had been the longest and most painful minutes of his life, as he held the bloodied form of their beloved leader in his arms, knowing his heart wasn't beating, hugging the unconscious Kaname to his chest, crying unabashedly throughout the whole wait on the shore, then all the way to the hospital and until they finally could be sure that Kaname would be fine. Cain was afraid for the pureblood too, but he was less vocal about it than his passionate younger cousin.

The two had sat on folding chairs in the corridor of the ER until the surgeons came out of the room to tell them that Kaname would live. It was a given since he was a pureblood, but it was so terribly painful for them to see him that way regardless.

Only when he heard that Kaname would be fine, had Aidou finally accepted to let someone take care of his hands.

Somehow, Yuuki knew.

Not only that both of the cousins were aware that it was her fault that Kaname was hurt and why -vampires could be extremely perceptive- but from their presence there and Aidou's wounds, she also knew that they had most likely been the ones who pulled him out of the water. She owed them more than she could put in words, and was trying to work her way around the lump in her throat when a choked little noise came from the bed, instantly getting the attention of the three and interrupting anything else. From outside in the corridor, Zero sensed it too, and resisted the urge to peek into the room, focusing as well as he could on the sounds and feelings of the others to know what was going on instead.

Kaname was stirring slightly. He tried to move, but winced in pain. His chest felt like it was on fire and the taste of his own blood in his mouth was strangely unsettling regardless of how many times he had tasted it in his life.

The pureblood's eyelids fluttered open, before he squeezed them tightly with a pained look. Reaching with his mind rather than sight, he recognized the people present around his bed and whispered. "Aidou, the light please."

The blond was positively beaming, the smile on his face contrasting with the tears that were welling up in his eyes again. He had been so mortally afraid that he wouldn't get to hear the pureblood's voice again.

"Right away, Kaname-sama!" He rolled down the button that regulated the level of the lights in the room, and Kaname opened his eyes sluggishly, the softer lights being less offending to his tired vision.

Yuuki was standing inches from his bed, tears streaming down her flushed face. Her eyes were tight shut, shame coloring her features. She didn't dare meet his eyes.

Kaname glanced at Aidou and Cain through slightly glazed eyes, but he didn't have to say anything, they understood immediately that he needed privacy, and made for the corridor, their supportive gazes meeting his grateful one as they left.

The door closed and the couple inside stayed silent for a bit, Yuuki's crying and the little mechanical beeps of the machines attached to Kaname being the only thing disturbing the stillness of the room.
Yuuki sobbed softly with her eyes still squeezed tightly. Kaname pulled off the device on his face, clenching his teeth hard to stand the pain of raising his arm. He didn't really need the apparatus for breathing and found it inconvenient for speaking. He let it drop next to him as his arm also weakly fell back onto the bed. His head felt cloudly, and he was shocked to find that he was dizzy just from the pain of such a simple movement.

Yuuki tried to find the right words, but to her surprise, Kaname spoke first.

"Yuuki… I'm sorry…"

Those were definitely not the words she had been expecting. The dumbfounded expression on her face made it very clear, and she couldn't help but let out a "Huh…?"

Kaname was looking at her with an expression filled with longing and pain, but that also looked…contrite?

His voice was weakened, so different from the powerful, compelling tone it normally had. He whispered, sounding slightly out of things "I wasn't really trying to kill myself. I just… I thought… that if something happened, it would interrupt… whatever it was that you two might be doing. I couldn't think of anything properly. I just wanted… so badly to interrupt it. Is that selfish of me…?"

"Oh, Kaname!" Yuuki couldn't hold anymore, and crumbled down sobbing harder, burying her face against his left hand that lay limp on the bed.

She felt a small movement next to her, quickly followed by Kaname's body stiffening in pain. She quickly raised her head to see that he was straining himself trying to reach with his other hand to caress her head in a comforting gesture. She quickly grabbed his hand and pushed it back down carefully, holding it on the bed, tears streaming down her face as she bent over him begging him not to move so he wouldn't make his wounds worse, her voice breaking as she spoke.

Yuuki had not known the meaning of true guilt until that day; it burned in her more fiercely than ever, as she tried to gently shush Kaname in hopes that getting him to rest would help his body mend faster.

But he had no intention of resting just yet. He had an important matter to take care of, and it was one that for him took complete precedence over the state of his body.

"Yuuki, I need to speak to Kiryuu. Could you leave the room for just a moment?"

She stared at his pained face with bleary eyes. She was consumed with guilt, but she couldn't help the surge of worry. "Please Kaname, please… it's my fault… it's all my fault… you won't kill him, will you?"

The nervous way with which she nearly stuttered the question was so outlandish in the context that it brought a tinge of a smile to his eyes despite the situation. He might have laughed if he didn't hurt so much, both from the pain in his body and in his heart.

He tried to reassure her on that at least. "It's flattering that you think me able to do that in my condition, but currently my heart can't even beat without one of those machines. Zero is perfectly safe, my dear one." She looked so flustered that he unexpectedly chuckled softly, before clenching his teeth from the unforeseen amount of pain that such a simple thing caused. When he caught his breath, he whispered "Please?"

Yuuki stared at her feet, her fingers tracing patterns on Kaname's hand on the bed. She didn't feel she had the right to refuse him something now, and he did have a point – at the current moment he was the one who might technically be endangered by Zero's presence in the room, if not for the fact that the regular intake of his blood should have helped the hunter grow a lot more resistant to bloodlust.

Yuuki nodded softly, unsure of what to say, and tried to make herself more presentable by wiping the tears in her eyes as she exited the room.

She didn't have to call the hunter. Zero somehow knew, either because he heard or simply because he just knew.
He walked into the room hesitantly, closing the door again and taking in the striking sight of Kaname looking so broken on that bed. He approached him slowly – not by fear but because he didn't know how he could possibly face the pureblood.

Kaname's head was swimming, a dizzy haze making it harder and harder to concentrate. He wondered if he would stay conscious long. He didn't have a moment to lose.

"Kiryuu... We once talked of our feelings for Yuuki… have yours changed over the years? Do you still love her as much?"

Zero stood by the bed looking forlorn, unable to blank out the feeling of self-hatred telling him that he was an abject monster. But he owed Kaname sincere answers, at the very least. He held onto the side of the bed while he answered, eyes focused on the ground because he too felt too guilty to meet Kaname's gaze. "Nothing changed. I love her with all that I am, more than anything."

"And as such… do you intend to continue…" The pureblood paused, looking away. "…visiting her?" Kaname's voice was strained, nearly breaking with pain and anger, but still somewhat composed despite his state.

"Kuran… Huh, Kaname, I… I…" Zero did look up then, shocked by the question; he was at loss to what the pureblood might be expecting him to reply, or how he should explain himself.

Kaname didn't abandon the question, "Well?"

A myriad of possible outcomes had been playing in Zero's mind from the moment they had left to go to the hospital, but none of them involved Kaname asking him that type of question. Zero was at loss as to what to say, because he was just as much at loss as to what to do of everything.
Looking back, the hunter had been lost for a while now. His mind told him that what Yuuki and him were doing was unforgivable, but his heart was just as incapable of resisting as hers, pulling them back together despite everything.

If he swore to Kaname that he would leave Yuuki alone, he knew he would break that promise sooner or later.
And he was tired of lies, tired of betrayals and of hating himself even more than he already naturally did.

So he simply gave Kaname the answer that was the most pure truth, instead of one dictated by what his mind told him he should try and do.

"I'm… sorry, I'm so sorry, Kaname. I love her with my whole being. You have to kill me. Kill me or so help me I'll keep going after your wife until the day I die. I can't help it, I love her too much to give up, regardless of anything you may do!"

Telling the truth was even harder than telling a promise that was bound to turn into a lie, but at least by telling the truth he wouldn't have the remorse eating at him more than it already did. Zero had tears in his eyes as he admitted the unspeakable truth.

Kaname's chest was aching in an agonizing manner, but it wasn't because of his wounds. He hadn't expected to hear anything else, and yet, it still hurt so terribly much. He wanted to make sure of the hunter's feelings, but the knowledge of their inexorability also made so much more real Kaname's fear that Yuuki might just leave him for Zero.

He breathed shallowly, pain obvious on his face, both from his wounds and from the much worse pain he had been feeling since he found out that morning about the betrayal.

And yet, aside from that inevitable fear and pain, the hunter's confession brought relief as well, and a powerful determination letting Kaname know what he had to do.

The pureblood's face was terribly pale and he could swear the room was rocking as if they were in a ship at sea, but he knew it was his perceptions that were off. He forced himself to breath in and out slowly until he managed to push back the nausea before speaking.

"If… if you had said it was a casual affair, I swear no amount of wounds in this world would have stopped me from getting up from this bed to crush you right here and right now." The affair being meaningful made things more frightening for Kaname himself, but it reassured the pureblood that at least Yuuki wasn't being used.

Zero just stared back, surprised but understanding what Kaname meant. He would have felt the same in his position.

Kaname coughed softly, clutching at his chest with a hand as if it might make the pain of the coughing lessen. Zero was looking at him worriedly. "Kaname… should I call the doctor?"

"No… I want to talk to Yuuki alone."

"...Are you sure it's the best time…?"

The pureblood's eyebrows creased, but he didn't bother replying, instead focusing on trying to pull together his strength and stay conscious.

Zero went silent, surveying Kaname for a moment. The pureblood looked like he might pass out anytime, and much as Zero felt he had no right to get in Kaname's way, he wasn't sure that talk should take place in such a moment, both because of what might happen to Kaname if he kept pushing himself, and –to a lesser extent— because he couldn't help but fear that the pureblood might do something rash if he took decisions in that state. But as Zero hesitated on leaving or not, Kaname dug his nails onto the mattress, bracing himself to try and get up, paying no heed to the IV tubes and various other things attached to his arms and chest.

Forgetting his previous hesitation to even look at the pureblood, Zero rushed to grab onto Kaname's shoulders and push him back down onto the bed so he wouldn't accidentally tear off the lifelines linking him to the machines. "Kaname, what do you think you're doing?" The hunter didn't dare speak any louder than a barely audible whisper by fear of having the whole hospital come running in, but there was no way he was going to let Kaname get up from that bed in that state.

"If you don't leave, you force me to get up to go talk to Yuuki." The pureblood was breathless but there was clear authority and strength in his voice, shaking as it may currently be.

Zero didn't think he could possibly feel anymore deeply ashamed of his acts and of the whole situation than he already was, but he felt yet an additional layer of self-loathing hit him brutally when the sudden movement to restrain the pureblood and the proximity of his body made the scent of Kaname's blood fully hit him, irresistible and enticing, still seeping fresh from the wounds and into the bandages wrapped around Kaname's body.

A shudder of desire for that blood ran through the hunter, utterly disgusting him of himself and of his own nature.

Zero didn't need blood at the moment, their last meeting was less than two weeks ago and Kaname's blood was powerful enough that the hunter should still last a good two or three weeks until he'd need more.

But he was so used to the scent of Kaname's pure blood and the anticipation of its intoxicating taste that his instincts were taking over. His body reacted automatically, fangs lengthening with hunger at the proximity.

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Cliffhanger again! Sorry. XD; But I have to make the wait between chapters a bit more entertaining. ;D