A Talk with Padre

I walked off the bus in front of the café me and my dad is suppose to meet. It's called the "Saltwater Café". I've always wondered if there are any restaurants with original names.

I've noticed his car in the parking lot. I wonder if he still thinks I have me license after Mrs. Puff gave me a license too soon. I'm sure she didn't mean it. I don't think she would ever want to get rid of me. I'm the best in her class… even though I failed 45 times…

I walked inside, smelling different coffee blends, which fills the air with mixtures of cream, sugar and whip topping. The atmosphere of the café is what you would expect to see in the heart of Atlantis. The color is rich and smooth. There were mixtures of green, blue and yellow with very attractive lamps hanging off of the ceiling. The tables were small and can only fit about two people. But I saw my dad at one of them sipping his coffee. It's kind of hard not to see his dark spongy skin with a bright back round.

I brushed my coat, straightened my tie, took a deep breath and keep repeating in my head, "Don't throw up, don't throw up, don't throw up…"

"Hi Dad…" I said with a soft tone. He turned around and smiled. I've always loved seeing his mustache curl when he smiles.

"Bobby my son, what a pleasant to see you!" we gave each other a hug. The smell of TAG body spray floated around my noise blocking away the smell of caffeine. I hope he doesn't believe in those commercials on TV about that spray. Once we were separated, I took a seat next to him. He offered me to buy me a coffee, but I declined. I just want some advise, and I want some right away. Don't get me wrong; it's so wonderful to see my dad… but tartar sauce!

"It's so great to see son," my dad said in his usual perky voice.

"It's great to see you too. How's mom doing?"

"She's doing wonderful. She's always hoping you're doing fine on your own. We know you left home about nine years ago, but you are our only child. How's Patrick?"

"Patrick's doing fine," I said. I really would like to stop this small talk and get to the point… but I'm so nervous! There was a silence for a minute. It felt like an hour but it was only ten seconds. I was thinking so hard how to start this conversation. But I was relieved when dad finally spoke up.

"Well Spongebob, I can tell you want to tell me something. I can see you thinking pretty hard," he said with a chuckle.

"Great," I thought, "I'm noticeable when I'm in love and when I'm thinking…"

"Well…" I started, "I need advise…"

Dad took a sip of his coffee and wiped his mustache. "Oh really? About what?"

"Um…" I stopped. I looked to the floor sideways. "I… need advise about… well…" I must be sounding like a complete moron. My dad eyed me suspiciously. He then went into complete shock.

"Oh my fish tail… did you get someone… pregnant…?" he said in a quite tone. I blushed furiously.

"What!? NO!?" I said. I tried to hide my red cheeks. My dad put his hand to his heart with relief. This is getting to out of hand. I just have to say it…

"Dad… I need advise about… a girl…" I said in a quiet tone. My dad sat up more straight and leaned in closer.

"Oh, is that all my boy? Well, what do you need advise about?"

"How to tell her," I paused, "how to tell her that I… love her…" I said the last part with a whisper. I was actually quite surprised that my dad heard it.

Oh… how long have you known this girl?"

"Long enough to make her a family member… she's one of my best friends actually."

"Wow… uh, wow," I can tell he wasn't prepared for this today. But that's okay… he's not alone. "Well Spongebob… I must say this is a big turn in life… in everyone's life… who is mature about it… now, why do you need advise about this?"

"I need to know… how to… tell her…"

"Just say these exact words Spongebob. "I Love You." And add some compliments about how beautiful she is. And…" he didn't understand.

"But dad, it's too awkward! I love being friends with her, I love all of the games we play and all of the times we hanged out together… and I don't want to change that… what if… she's doesn't feel the same way?" I was becoming more silent as I kept talking. Pretty soon I'm gonna become a mute I'm sure.

"Well son… that is my advise because to tell you the truth… I'm not expert on woman." This may surprise you, but that horrified me. The one person, the ONE person who I believed to be an expert on woman just said to me, in my face, that he's not an expert on woman! This was a bad idea from the start. I should have never asked him for advice. I should have never even thought of this! I shouldn't even be thinking this way about Sandy, my best friend! I can't do this! Now the decision is up to me, and I can't even say hello to her without getting butterflies in my stomach!

I knew there was nothing else to say to my dad, so after thirty more minutes of talking, I've decided to go home. My dad offered me a ride home, but truthfully, I need some time alone, so he decided to wait with me for the bus. Once we saw the bus turning the corner, we gave each other one more hug and a kiss on the cheek. While the doors were opening, dad asked me

"What's the name of this girl you like?"

"… Sandy…" I started to walk up the steps. I stopped from his voice again.

"Which sea species is she?"

"… A sponge…" I finally got on. I sat by the window, being only one of the three people on. "Great…" I thought. "I love my best friend and now I'm lying…"

I love using Spongebob's parents. I wish they used them more on the show. Anyhow, please R&R!!