A/N: Happy New Year! Thank you so much for your kind reviews! Hehe, you guys are way ahead of me plotwise o.O;; ...please bear with the next few chapters, since I really want to give this the weight it deserves.

He didn't know how much time had passed. When he raised his head to finally look around, his friends were still there, sitting around him uncomfortably. Tsukasa wasn't glad to see them. He had hoped, in the few moments between running out of tears and lifting his head, that he would wake up and find that it was all a terrible nightmare. It wasn't. As he stared at them, he had brief flickers of thought. "Someone should tell Nee-chan." His voice sounded so unlike himself – small and weak. "She'd want to know… Nee-chan always liked her."

Soujirou already had his cell phone out, glad to break the awkward and helpless air in the room. "I'll do it. Don't worry."

Tsukasa nodded, grateful that Soujirou had volunteered. It was already too much to know what had happened… but then to speak the words himself? He couldn't bring himself to do it. And even though it wasn't him on the phone with Tsubaki, it was awful. From across the room, he could hear his sister wailing over the phone. The sound echoed in his mind, shaking his tenuous control over his emotions. After she had calmed herself enough to speak, she agreed to fly out from Los Angeles immediately to meet them for the funeral. Tsukasa was relieved. As terrible as the wake and funeral were sure to be, he could take comfort in the only other person he ever called family.

Tsukasa and the others flew back to Japan the next day, even though the jet lag for Rui, Akira, and Soujirou promised to be horrendous. A welcome numbness had washed over Tsukasa. It was better than feeling, so much better than all the crying and pain he'd been through in the past day. He felt a modicum of shame – he prided himself on being the toughest and strongest. Did strong men cry so much? he wondered. But Tsukushi deserved tears. He would have cried rivers, if she wanted them. Did she want them? He supposed he could never ask her.

As soon as they arrived in Tokyo, Tsukasa immediately left to visit the Makino family, while Rui and the others went home to get some much needed rest. Strangely, Tsukasa was looking forward to seeing the Makinos. He felt an odd sense of comfort, knowing there were others who were hurting as much as he was.

Tsukasa stood in front of the door to Tsukushi's apartment, and felt a pang of heartache. Maybe this was a bad idea, he thought, remembering the day he came back from New York – just like this – and had hot pot together with Tsukushi. They would not be buying vegetables together at the commoner supermarket this time. He could not scold her for buying too many groceries. It was even a completely different apartment. But only a few days ago, Tsukushi was here, alive. Over the past year, this was where he wanted to be the most. This was where he should have been. He was stupid to leave her.

He took a deep breath and knocked. After a moment, Susumu opened the door. His eyes were reddish, but dry, and they widened at the sight of Tsukasa. "Doumyouji-san?"

"Hey, Otouto," Tsukasa greeted, ruffling Susumu's hair and giving him a brief hug. "It's been a long time, huh?"

Susumu nodded, stepping aside to let him in. "What are you doing here?"

"I…" Tsukasa began, and looked around. Tsukushi's parents were sitting at a small table with cups of tea, looking solemn. He suddenly felt like he was intruding on something very private. "I'm sorry. I… just came to…" He wasn't used to feeling so out of place. "Maybe I'll just go."

Mrs. Makino shook her head, wiping her eyes. "No, please, you came all this way. Make yourself comfortable."

He hesitated for a moment, then sat cross-legged at the table beside them. "I won't stay long. I just… I'm not even sure why I'm here."

"It means a lot that you did come, though." She gave him a sad smile – a smile that reminded him achingly of Tsukushi's.

"I wanted to pay my respects," he managed to get out. "And if you need help with anything, you let me know."

Tsukushi's parents looked at each other, but said nothing.

"And…" Tsukasa took a deep breath again, unused to speaking carefully. "This is probably really rude, but… I'd like to pay for all of her funeral arrangements." The word "funeral" stuck itself in his throat like a sharp rock.

Tsukushi's mother inhaled sharply, and Tsukasa wondered just how rude he was.

"That's very generous of you, Doumyouji-san," Mr. Makino said, and his voice was warm and kind. "But we'll be okay. Even if we have to take out loans, we'll make sure Tsukushi is sent off properly. We can at least do that much for her."

Tsukasa shook his head. "You misunderstand me. I'm not offering you charity. I want to do this. If you'll let me, I'd like to bury her at the Doumyouji family cemetery."

"At your family cemetery?" Mr. Makino repeated. "Why?"

"I loved her more than anything," Tsukasa said, his eyes meeting her father's gaze. "I will never love anyone as much as I loved her."

"You're so young, still. You can't know that," Mrs. Makino said, tears in her voice.

"I know myself. I love her. I was going to make her my wife…" The numbness that Tsukasa relied on was slipping away from him, and it was an effort to hold on. "When I die, I want to be buried beside her. I know this is a big thing to ask you…"

Mrs. Makino patted his hand gently, smiling through her tears. "No, it's fine. I think it'd be lovely."

Mr. Makino clapped him on the back and nodded. "We couldn't ask for anything better for her."

"We can visit anytime we want, right?" Susumu piped up from beside him, also with a sad smile on his face. "It'd be nice if she could have lots of visitors. Onee-chan would like that."

Tsukasa stared at them in wonder. The sorrow they all felt at Tsukushi's passing was palpable. And yet, there they were, beaming at him. This was the family that Tsukushi came from – living fiercely, supporting each other, tirelessly vibrant. They were not happy at this moment, no. But there was within them the promise of happiness for the near future. Tsukasa felt a spike of fear. Was there such a promise for his future? How could there be?

A/N: Otouto - "little brother"