Hikaru's POV
I was lucky that I didn't encounter any more ignorant people and got hurt further. I walked the lonely road home, the only one I have ever known, by myself to get home. Brother was at his host club and I was left alone yet again. I felt do lonely. My brother wasn't here to talk to, to finish each other's sentences, to complete me. I was missing my other half and it was silently killing me inside. I ran inside our mansion and went straight upstairs, ignoring the maid that asked me if I wanted a cup of tea and cheese and crackers. My parents were gone for a month on a business trip.
Locking myself into our room, I threw myself onto my bed and pulled the covers over my head. It all was too much to contain, so I did what I've done best these past five years, cry. I grabbed my favorite teddy bear that no one knew about, not even Kaoru, and blasted Of Mice & Men and Bring Me The Horizon in my ears. I desperately wanted to sleep, to just escape my nightmarish reality, but I couldn't stop thinking about what happened earlier ad how my life was a complete failure compared to my brother's.
Everything that has come out of the mouths of the assholes at school is one hundred percent accurate and I hated myself for it. I was a fat, disgusting faggot that should die in hell, I'm sure there's already a place for me in reserve. Why should I prolong the wait? I felt the emptiness swallowing my soul, leaving nothing but a mindless body. But I knew I didn't have the guts to follow through, no matter how much I desired to throw myself off a bridge or to bleed out till everything went numb. As much as I desired it, I wouldn't be able to do it, but that doesn't mean that I couldn't feel the pain that I needed so much. I thought about the scars on my thighs and thought, maybe I should just cut again? But that would be too messy. I wanted to feel something more than just a few seconds of pain; I wanted it to last for an extended period of time. My mind immediately went to my blade, but I wouldn't be using the same method of self-harm that I've known so well. I wanted to feel what a hot, metal blade would feel against my skin.
Deciding that this was a go-getter, I snuck into my father's study and stole one of his hundred lighters. He wouldn't even notice it was gone. Sneaking back into my room, I pulled my blade back out from its hiding spot. Flicking the lighter open, I clicked it a few times before successfully lighting it and held it to my precious blade. I waited a few moments before flicking it off. Doing something I normally never did for fear of someone accidently seeing my scars, I put the blade to my skin. The reaction was immediate. I hissed in pain and sighed in relief. I kept doing this, burning my worries from my mind. It was only when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs did I rush to hide everything. Shoving my blade and lighter in my backpack (nobody ever goes in it), I started to panic when I heard the doorknob rattle.
"Can you open the door, Hikaru?" Kaoru called.
"Y-yeah, hold on." I stuttered as I tried shoving my things in my bag, finally having success. Running over to unlock the door, I pulled my sleeve down and hissed slightly in pain, smiling to myself as I finally found what I needed in my life. Opening the door, I hugged my brother.
"Hey, how was club, brother?"
~.~.~.~.~
It's short, but it's also a week day, so you'll just have to get over it ;P