Chapter 2—Let's Give Them Something To Talk About

(A few days later, on the tour bus)
Jude: That was amazing!
Spied: Dude, you totally rocked!
Jude: Normally, I'd yell at you for calling me Dude instead of Jude, but right now I'm so hyped I don't even care!
Tom: Wow, that is something, isn't it?
(Jommy kiss)
EJ: (smiles) I'm guessing the show went well?
Tom: EJ, you should've seen this girl. She tore the roof off!
Kyle: That's what you always say about Jude's shows.
Spied: That's 'cause she always tears the roof off.
EJ: But not literally, right?
Tom: Of course not. I'm the only one who's ever really done that, and even then it was just for a prank.
Spied: Yeah, man, you pulled too many pranks when you went touring. There's nothing for me or the dudes to do now without being compared to you.
Tom: Except your singing. Thank God you don't sound like me when you sing.
Jude: Oh, that is so true.
Wally: Yeah, Tom, no wonder you were part of a five-part harmony. You needed to have other people around you to drown you out.
Everyone: Wal-ly!
EJ: All right, everyone, get to bed. You have a rehearsal tomorrow for your next show. And by the way, Jude, you have an exclusive interview tomorrow.
(Jude groans.)
Tom: I'm not included, am I?
EJ: You could be.
Jude: Oh come on, Tommy, it'll be fun.
Tom: Fun is fun. Interviews are not fun.
Jude: Well then, I'll make it fun. (smiles suggestively)
(SME begin coughing deliberately.)
Spied: Ok, dudes, not in front of us. Stuff like that is meant for when you guys are by yourselves, you know? That's kinda why we have different bedrooms.
Tom: And that's also why the bedrooms are soundproof.
(SME start making retching noises and run to their room.)
Jude: (calls after them) You guys are just jealous.
EJ: Good night, you two. Don't stay up too late.
Jude: See you tomorrow. (leaves)
EJ: Tom, wait a sec. (Tom stays behind.) Look, now I need you both to be super careful when you're answering the questions so that you don't let anything slip.
Tom: Don't worry about me.
EJ: No, I know you'll be fine, but this is all a lot of pressure for Jude. I really don't want her to get nervous and say the wrong thing.
Tom: She'll be fine, I know how to handle her.
EJ: You think I don't know that? You forget I'm living with you right now. I see practically everything that goes on between you two. But I guess I trust you, so I'll leave you in charge.
Tom: Night, EJ. (goes to his and Jude's room and finds Jude waiting up for him)
Jude: What did you guys talk about?
Tom: EJ was just telling me I should keep you from worrying about the interview.
Jude: Too late. Tommy, what if my mind freezes up, and I have no idea what to say? Or what if I accidentally let them know that we're together?
Tom: Stop worrying. I'll be right there with you. If you don't know what to say, I'll tell you. I love you.
Jude: I love you too.
(Tom kisses her, then moves her onto the bed and begins taking off her clothes.)
Jude: Wait a second; you just said that to get into my pants, didn't you?
Tom: (sucking her neck) Mm-hmm.
(Jude laughs.)

(The next morning)
Jude: I'm still worried.
Tom: Calm down, girl. All they'll do is ask a few questions, and then that's it.
Jude: Yeah, but what if they ask who my boyfriend is?
Tom: I know what to do then. Just focus on what I said last night.
Jude: "I wanna get into your pants"?
Tom: (laughs) No, that I'll be right here with you, no matter what. Don't forget that.
Jude: I won't.
(They begin to kiss, and continue doing so until EJ comes into the dressing room and gives them two minutes' notice.)
Jude: (to Tom) Maybe you should wipe off that lip gloss.
Tom: Yeah, maybe I should. (does so)
Jude: Ok, just so we're clear, when we go out there, we're not dating. (?)
Tom: Right. We especially don't have any feelings for each other, we never did, and we definitely haven't been sharing a bed ever since you went on tour.
Jude: And two plus two doesn't equal five.
Tom: Two plus two doesn't equal five.
Jude: Oh, then three and three.
Tom: That's six.
Jude: Geez!
Tom: Exactly how far behind are you in math?
Jude: As far behind as you are in the times.
Tom: Oh, that's not right! (chases her out of the dressing room, catches her right outside the interviewing room and wraps his arms around her from behind)
Reporter: Ok, I'm guessing you two are ready to be interviewed.
(Tom quickly lets go of Jude and sits down.)
Jude: Yeah, sure. (calls) SME! Get in here!
Reporter: (to Jude) Wait, you're bringing in—
Jude: Everybody that helps me with my music.
(SME come in.)
Spied: Lady Harrison calls?
Jude: You guys wanna maybe stay for the interview?
SME: Sure. (sit down, make themselves comfortable)
Wally: (to the reporter) You know, I always dig a chick with a camera.
Reporter: Please. I've had this job longer than you've had your braces off.
(Everybody laughs.)
Tom: Wait a second. I remember you. Your name's Anna, right? You interviewed Boyz Attack once.
Reporter: Yeah. We went out on a date afterwards.
Jude: Really? Then what happened?
Tom: We lasted five days. Longest relationship I ever had on tour.
SME: Whoa! (high-five Tom)
Jude: You three keep quiet, ok? The only guy here that's had an actual girlfriend all the time we've been on tour is Tommy, and that's just because she's—
(Tom grabs her arm; SME elbow her.)
Anna: Hmm?
Jude: Nothing.
Anna: I'm guessing you mean that girl Tommy's said to have been with lately. (unintentionally meaning Sadie) I have seen a few scandal sheet pictures of them together, but not recently. Is there any explanation for that?
Tom: (side-glances at Jude) Um, yeah. See, we broke up a short while ago.
Anna: So you two broke up right before you decided to accompany Jude on tour? Is there any connection there?
Tom: (thinks: Oh, shoot, she's more perceptive than I gave her credit for) Um, no, why would you think that?
Anna: Come on, Tom. I'm aware of the number one rule of the road. Are you sure that you didn't break up with your girlfriend just so you could have a final round of one-night stands, using Jude's tour as an excuse?
Jude: (jumps to Tom's rescue before he can say anything) Tommy would never do that. He's a different guy from the one you used to date. And besides, he's already got another girlfriend, one he's never gonna break up with.
Tom: Jude—
Anna: Very interesting that your artist here stands up to defend you, Tom. Every other woman in the world is prepared to say that you're a careless heartbreaker who'll never learn from his mistakes. What exactly has he done for you that you'd defend him like this, Jude?
Jude: …He's produced my first record. He's an awesome co-writer, and he's also been there for me when I needed him. I'm really glad he's come with me on this tour, and it's helped me a lot, having him here with me. (Tom squeezes her hand.)
Anna: Ok, I think we have an opening quote. Now we can get on with the regular questions. How would you describe touring, now that you've had a taste of it?
Jude: Crazy, but rewarding. I've never felt so close to my fans.
Anna: Have you written any new songs?
Jude: Oh yeah, tons. "My Sweet Time" is my favorite, though.
Tom: Wait a second, what about the ones we've written together?
Spied: Yeah, and "Anyone But You"?
Jude: I love 'em all. Calm down. (puts an arm around each of them)
Anna: Judging by the way you act towards them, Jude, would you say that these two guys are the most helpful to you in terms of helping you song-write?
Jude: Well, all of them, really. I mean, Wally's song ideas are always interesting, but they're somewhat—
Tom: Unhelpful.
Jude: Yeah, I can't really write about them. And these three are usually goofing off when they should be rehearsing, and that does get on my nerves. But Tommy's always there to call them on it and give them time-outs.
(Everyone laughs.)
SME: Yeah, he makes us sit in corners.
Jude: But yeah, normally they act like pretty good kids and they're all really great at helping me get songs out of my head and onto paper, so yeah, I'm doing fine.
Anna: Do you have anything to say to anyone who might be in the situation you were in six months ago? As in, trying out for Instant Star?
Jude: Yeah, I guess just that you gotta do what you gotta do, and you have to take whatever chance you can to try to get your music out there for the people to hear it. They're the ones whose opinions matter the most. If you're really meant to be a star, it'll happen, don't worry.
Anna: Any messages for your fans?
Jude: Yeah, go to all of my shows and buy my record, please! More than one per person if possible.
Anna: (laughing) All right, that seems about it. But right before I go, I wouldn't be called a reporter if I didn't ask you this: Do you have a boyfriend right now?
Tom: Is this off the record?
Anna: Well, it depends.
Tom: (thinks for a moment) Jude, I think she should know who it is. I don't think she'll tell.
Spied: Dude, are you crazy? It's her job.
Tom: But Anna and I have history. So if I answer her question, but ask her not to write about it, she won't write about it. Right, Anna?
Anna: Right. (thinks: Yeah, sure.) Go on. Who's Jude's boyfriend? Uh-oh, it isn't one of SME, is it?
Tom: No, of course not. It's— (Jude pulls on his sleeve) Let go, girl.
Jude: No. You said you wouldn't tell.
Tom: It's ok, Jude. (she still won't let go, he covers her hand with his and tries to pry her fingers off) Jude's boyfriend is—Would you let go, girl!—His name is—
Anna: It's all right, Tom. I appreciate the fact that you're trying to tell me, but I get the feeling that Jude would kill you if you told. Thanks for your time, Jude.
Jude: Bye. (shakes Anna's hand with her free one)
Anna: Bye, you guys.
SME: Bye, Anna.
(Anna leaves; as soon as the door closes after her, everyone whirls upon Tom.)
Spied: Dude! Were you really going to tell Anna that you're Jude's boyfriend?!
Tom: Of course not! What, do you really think I'm that stupid?
Jude and SME: Yes.
Tom: Oh, that's nice. You people really have faith in me, don't you?
Jude: Well, what would you have said?
Tom: Nothing. I was planning for you to do what you did. And even if you didn't, I would have just said the guy told me not to tell.
Jude: But why would you do something like that in the first place?
Tom: It makes for some mystery, and gives the public something to talk about. If everyone's wondering who your boyfriend is, you'll be known in every town in the country before we even get to them.
Kyle: EJ told you to do it, didn't she?
Tom: Yep.
(Everyone laughs.)