Chapter Three
I am a coward. I'm right up there with the Ferengi and the Omik, who play dead rather than risk a confrontation of any kind. It's a bit disturbing when you're confronted with one of their kind as it honestly seems like they have died in front of you, even by tricorder readings. Except for faint cellular activity that—
Anyway. Why I say I'm a coward is because I've been at this reunion party for almost an hour and have yet to say more than "Hello" to the girl of my dreams. I'd come out of my quarters, filled with courage, boldly going where no ex-Borg Brunali had ever gone before. Then I'd walked into the mess hall and seen all the familiar faces: Chakotay, Kathryn Janeway, the Doctor, Tom and B'Elanna, Harry, Tuvok, Seven and the Wildmans—all the people who were essentially my family in the truest sense of the word—and I'd gotten cold feet.
The thought of revealing emotions so private in a place that was so public was too much for me to take. I'd felt overwhelmed. Truly, there's nothing like coming home to family that makes you feel young and inexperienced again. It also hadn't helped that the first person to come greet me was Naomi herself. Her blue eyes had been sparkling and happy, matching the smile on that mouth I'd begun fantasizing over. She'd approached me and I'd blurted out a spastic greeting and a mumbled excuse of needing to see Tuvok—thinking a good dose of logic would help—and made my way over to the Vulcan, just avoiding her outstretched hand.
I know she'd been hurt and I cursed myself a thousand different ways as I greeted the stoic figure of Tuvok. He'd raised an eyebrow at me, no doubt having observed the exchange. I kept my face straight and ignored the eyebrow. Tuvok had gone back to teach at the Academy, one semester a year while spending the rest of the time on Vulcan, working with the elders there and spending time with his family. Like the rest of us, he did not stray too far from home. With the exception of my two-year avoidance of Naomi.
After conversing with him a bit, catching up, I'd spoken to the rest of my friends, somehow staying away from wherever Naomi ended up being without making it obvious I was evading her. Or so I thought.
"Did you and Naomi have a fight?" the Doctor asks kindly. I look at him in alarm. Well, hopefully I don't look alarmed but I certainly feel it.
"No, why do you ask?"
"You keep not looking at her."
The strangeness of this statement jolts a nervous chuckle out of me, enabling me to say with feigned lightness, "We're fine, Doctor. I've just gotten back from my deep space assignment and I'm still getting back in touch with everyone, in the flesh, or photons, so to speak." I give him a smile, hoping he'll get my telepathic communication to let it alone.
He smiles and nods his head at me and I feel relief. The Doctor, otherwise known as Cyril Ahrd (a name chosen at random after all those years), is the Commissioner of Starfleet Medical and an invaluable fighter for hologram rights, a figurehead of the movement. Surprisingly, at least to him, not really to the rest of us, Seven of Nine had pursued him, after ending her relationship with Chakotay, and now they were engaged to be married. While he has been a true friend, I'm still not ready to talk about this new aspect of my regard for Naomi.
"Icheb!" I hear my name called and turn, meeting Chakotay's friendly gaze. He waves me over while saying a quick word to his wife, Kathryn Janeway, before stepping away to meet me halfway. The ease of their deep affection for each other is evident for others to see and I find myself wondering what that would be like for me…and a certain someone.
It was years, even after we got back to Earth, before Kathryn and Chakotay had finally acted on the feelings that everyone else on the ship, even a newcomer like me, had sensed. I think we'd all lost hope when we found out that the inimitable Captain turned Admiral Janeway had retired from Starfleet and gone to live in obscurity.
As I meet Chakotay near the windows where he is standing, he puts a large hand on my shoulder and leans in. I automatically copy his action, seeing as how this seems quite clandestine. He even glances around furtively. I suppress a grin. His grave eyes return to me, and I wonder if I was making light of something serious.
"Remember, years ago, when I interrupted a puzzle lesson you were doing with Naomi?"
The name almost causes me to start. I hold myself in check and nod.
"And I was in there to get a bottle of Antarian cider that I was hiding from Neelix, right?" I nod again. I finally notice the twinkle in his eye and smile conspiratorially back. "Well, I have one last bottle that I think today's toast would be an appropriate time to bring out. I'd like to surprise Kathryn so while I keep her distracted up here, could you grab it from the back containers in Cargo Bay Two?"
"Sure thing, Captain." I know I'm smiling like an idiot but it's always fun to have a secret or two with your former commander. As I turn to head out the mess hall doors, I catch a glimpse of Naomi's profile as she's talking to Kathryn. Her head turns to look in my direction as if she senses my gaze. Looking away before she can catch me, I exit the party. At least, this will give me some time to reflect on my abysmal way of letting Naomi know that I love her.
I feel like he's been staring at me the entire evening but every time I've turned around, he's been looking the other way. I know I'm on yellow alert, but the unspoken words of the day have been getting to me. While I've been trying to be in the moment and stay focused on what my friends and family have been talking to me about, it's been hard, what with having holes phasered in the back of my head by a pair of brown eyes. But not only that, he hasn't talked to me once since the mumbling of needing to see Tuvok. As if. I restrain the urge to roll my eyes.
I feel an insistent tug on my hand and look down. "Nomi!" I'm greeted with complete enthusiasm by little Izzy, who hasn't quite gotten the hang of my name yet.
Smiling, I reach down and pick her up, to bring her small face to my height. Her hair is like her father's once was-jet black-but her face is all Kathryn, including sharp intelligent blue eyes. Chakotay and Kathryn had tried for a few years to have a child and finally succeeded through external embryo fertilization. While Isidore might have been a test-tube baby, she was still theirs and well loved. She was at the age which would normally be considered the "terrible two's" except for the fact that she was the sweetest little girl that ever existed.
"Hey, princess!" I give her a smacking kiss on her cheek. She giggles and brings her chubby hands up to my face to give me a squeeze. "Where's your mommy?"
She twists her upper body around to point behind her and I see Kathryn standing there with her arms on her hips, giving me and her daughter a wide smile. I also see Icheb and Chakotay looking dodgy in a corner near the window. I ignore the sight as I walk over to my former Captain, handing her child back to her. Kathryn takes Izzy and brings a hand up to my face to gently touch it. "Look at Voyager's first child: all grown up now," she says affectionately.
I get a little choked up at this and I can see understanding in her eyes. She asks me about my studies in the Academy and I fill her in. We're interrupted by a small voice, "Ma'am?" We both look down to see Frankie who's holding fair-haired Sierra by one hand, while she has the thumb of her other hand in her mouth, a habit she has yet to grow out of.
Kathryn smiles, "I would know you were Tom's boy just by looking at you, but that 'ma'am' makes it official." She bends down so that she and Izzy are at eye level with the two children. "What can I do for you?"
Frankie looks at Sierra who gives his hand a small tug. "Sierra wanted to know if Izzy could play with us 'cause Mommy let us bring some of our toys and games over and we thought she'd like them. And Uncle Harry already let Benji come," he adds definitively, as if he's giving extra credentials to his suggestion.
Kathryn straightens up and glances at me, then something over my shoulder. "Naomi, it looks like Seven needs a hand over there so I'll take this little Indian to the rest of the tribe." The children erupt into excited yips with Izzy making some sort of yell that sounded like a Native American call.
Grinning, I turn to find Seven behind the counter in the galley, motioning for me to come over. Making my way over there, I give a surreptitious glance around. He's not here anymore. I feel disappointment come over me but also a strange sense of relief. While I find this exciting and all, I don't know if I'm quite ready for the fruition of my dreams. If that's what this all even means.
"Hey, Seven," I greet her. She's preparing petits fours, small tarts with fruit and crème in the middle, her deft hands, minus her former Borg implants, moving swiftly over each empty crust.
She pauses to smile at me. "I am running a little behind on these desserts for the toast and I have been unable to break away to get the beverage we will be using. I thought it would be efficient if I enlisted your help on this."
"Sure, what do I do?" I gesture towards the array of fruit and other pastry-type tools in evidence.
"Oh, not this. Would you be able to grab a bottle of cider that's stored in the back containers of Cargo Bay Two?" I'm a little startled by this request. I'd just been thinking about that time when some temporal incident had taken place when I was a child. Chakotay had gone into Cargo Bay Two to get a bottle of cider just before I'd seen the older Icheb face. "Naomi?" Seven asks, bringing me back to the present.
I realize I've been staring at her. I smile in apology. "Of course. I'll go now."
As I travel the turbolift and the corridors to get to Cargo Bay Two, I reflect over this past memory that keeps coming to mind. It seems so significant to my life today. Maybe it's because I haven't seen Icheb in a couple years or the nostalgic feeling of coming home but my crush on this guy has evolved. I'd thought myself in love before he went away but over the past two years, we'd exchanged messages and letters and I felt like the distance made it real to me how much Icheb really meant to me.
Being so caught up in my thoughts, I almost don't see Harry until he appears in front of me, just outside the doors of the cargo bay. I'm startled and can't suppress the gasp that escapes. Harry holds up his hands, "Sorry, Naomi. Didn't mean to startle you."
"It's okay. I wasn't really paying attention where I was going." I give him a wry grin. "I think that if you hadn't stopped me, I'd probably have gone past where I needed to go," indicating the doorway.
"Right." He runs a hand through his thick salt and pepper hair. "So, you're getting the cider aren't you?" he asks.
For some reason I feel that his question is less than innocuous. "Yes…"
He smiles, seemingly innocent, and gestures for me to go through the doors. I give him a suspicious look and move past him and through the doors. Still distracted by the strangeness of Harry's actions, I don't notice that there's someone else in the room until I'm halfway across the room.
"Oh!" At my sharp intake of breath, the figure rummaging in the containers straightens up. Holy…it's Icheb. His dark eyes meet mine and I'm stopped in my tracks. There's an instant connection and that feeling of thousands of wormholes opening up, of a supernova explosion, of stepping onto an unexplored world all comes back. The air is sucked out of the room and it's just the two of us in our own continuum. He takes a small step forward.
And suddenly, I know I'm not ready for this, it's something beyond my comprehension and I don't know if I want to face it just yet.
Turning, I walk swiftly to the entrance but the doors won't open. I hit the keypad next to it and still no response. I drop my hand and stare blindly at the door, trying to keep myself from hyperventilating. I can feel he's moved closer, not quite right behind me but close enough for me to feel him.
"I love you."
I whirl around. My shocked gaze meets his. His mouth is open in surprise and his face flushes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that—I mean—I did mean to—but not—" he trails off on a strangled sound and looks away from me, one hand going up to the back of his neck as if he was trying to get himself in line. I've never seen him so flustered.
My heart, which had stopped at his first words, has begun beating again. Okay, maybe I am ready for this. My world feels completely tilted on its axis but at the same time I feel grounded and certain about where I'm going. I can feel a warm glow come over me and I step forward so that I'm directly in front of him. He looks down at me, his eyes wide. I smile up at him.
"I love you, too." His eyes light up and his arms come around me and I'm enveloped in warmth. Our faces are millimeters apart, his breath brushes my lips. Then slowly, his lips meet mine. It's not a passionate kiss, all rushed and desperate. It's like a poem, a song of coming home, finding your place in life. It's simply glorious.
"You think we should check on them? Make sure they can actually get out of the cargo bay?" asks Tom as he passes the glasses filled with Antarian cider, taken from the last bottle that Chakotay had hidden in the galley, to the rest of the family who now gathered in the chairs and sofas near the mess hall windows.
With the children playing at the opposite end of the room, the adults are able to meet and toast their devious hand in the shaping of the lives of the younger generation. They look at each other, conspiratorial smiles on their faces. With a grin on her face, Kathryn speaks for all of them: "I think not."
They all laugh, amused at the lengths they had to go to for Naomi and Icheb to finally admit their feelings for each other.
"To old friends and new beginnings." Chakotay raises his glass.
The others follow suit, "To new beginnings."
The End.
Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has read the story! If you reviewed, I LOVE YOU! And if you didn't, you're OK. :P
This was a fun story to write. I'd like to hear what you thought about it. (HINT HINT)