Title- The Choices we make
Pairing-Raito/Misa will be gone soon enough L/Raito eventually
Warning- OOC'ness
Talking ""
Thinking ''
Flashbacks in italics
I am really sorry it took me long to update. Between work and school I had no time to write at all and sorry about giving you all false hope. I myself hate it and feel quite bad for doing that to you all. With the poll I am so happy most of you don't want Raito owning the death note. 'Cause that would have been a bitch to write and as some of you pointed out would of taken away from the fun angst times. Anyway hope the chapter was worth the wait for you all.
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Raito sighed as he lay down on the bed, and buried his face into the soft pillow.
'More like Ryuuzaki's pillow' he thought blankly, since it was Ryuuzaki who usually slept on the left side of the bed. L had deliberately left Raito behind.
'There were signs' Raito thought lying on his side. Ryuuzaki would have never asked if Raito would miss him unless it was something important, and even though he had gotten a feeling he had ignored it, and he truly regretted that choice.
'I know he meant what he said, but leaving right after that was the coward's way out. And what could he possibly be doing that is better than being with me' Raito thought moodily. He turned around to face the outside of his sliding glass door.
'Maybe he was just lying to me all these years. I know that Ryuuzaki lies, and perhaps it wasn't really any different with me. Probably easier to lie to me since he knows I would believe him. He probably didn't even mean what he said about loving me' Raito thought bitterly. He was more upset at the idea of Ryuuzaki lying to him about loving him, than Ryuuzaki just leaving without telling him the reason.
'The pillow smells like strawberry shampoo. Ryuuzaki loved sweet things' Raito thought idly, enjoying the smell, and buried his head deeper into the pillow and sighed inwardly.
It wasn't right that L had left him, and now he felt a black void within himself that would not be filled again until he saw Ryuuzaki again.
If Misa had just up and left it would not have bothered Raito at all, and it was a shame that Misa was one the one who remained and not Ryuuzaki.
'"I love you in the sense of romantic feelings that goes beyond friendship" Was the whole thing a lie? Something Ryuuzaki had said because he had an early flight and did not wish to tell Raito where he was really going. When Ryuuzaki had told him he loved him that of course he had been surprising, but the feeling had not repulsed him like he first thought. And kissing Ryuuzaki had felt as naturally as breathing.' An everyday occurrence and one Raito knew he would not grow bored of. School got repetitive fast, but with Ryuuzaki it had never felt repetitive, and whenever Raito talked to him it was like a breath of fresh air. He did have other friends but none of them could hold a candle to Ryuuzaki. Not one of the other friends had ever made him feel so at ease and not having to cover up his intelligence just so other people wouldn't feel inferior, even through they were.
'But Ryuuzaki left me without a backward glance' Raito thought sitting up on the bed.
He glared at the pillow like it was the pillow's fault for Ryuuzaki leaving.
'I knew he leave one day, but I at least thought he take me along' Raito thought bitterly, and grabbed the pillow roughly before throwing it against the glass door and the pillow landed on the floor softly.
'If Ryuuzaki thinks that saying goodbye to me in that context is going to excuse him, he is sadly mistaken' Raito thought angrily. Taking a deep breath, Raito re lay back down on the bed and blew his bangs out of his eyes.
The anger dissolving as quickly as it had came.
'It's pointless to be angry, it's not like Ryuuzaki is going to show up and tell me why he left' Raito thought dully. His body sprawled out so he was horizontal on the bed and not vertical.
A soft knock was heard before Sayu voice called out to him.
"Raito dinner is ready" Sayu said and Raito got up from the bed and moved to unlock the door. Sayu was looking at him worriedly and a question on the verge of leaving her mouth.
"Let's go down then," Raito said smiling reassuringly at his sister.
"Are you okay now?" Sayu asked still looking like she wanted ask something.
"Yes, now let's go down before it gets cold" Raito said and started walking down the hall.
Sayu glanced into Raito's room and noticed a pillow missing, she moved into the room to see it lying on the floor.
'Why it is there, did nii-san throw it?' Sayu thought confused. She had never seen her brother be angry enough to throw anything expect in Ryuuzaki's case, but never any of his own possessions. Moving out of the room silently, Sayu walked down the stairs to see everyone sitting at the table, expect her father who was working another case again. "Sorry 'bout that" Sayu said happily and sat down next to Raito.
"How is summer vacation so far" Sachiko asked her children curiously.
"It's going great. Kikyou and I are going to the mall tomorrow to get Ryuuga Hideki's latest album" Sayu said excitedly.
"What about you nii-san are you and Ryuuzaki going to do something?" Sayu asked turning her attention to her brother.
"No, he seems to be busy again" Raito said offhandedly.
"What is he doing? It is summer vacation, and it is not like he has to do any homework since you guys are going to college" Sayu said looking confused.
"He already went off to college," Raito said in a tone that stated he did not want anyone to ask any more questions.
"What he already went, did he leave you behind?" Sayu asked surprised and Sachiko gave her daughter a disapproving look. Raito stood up abruptly and Sayu and Sachiko looked at him slightly surprised.
"I'm not hungry, but thanks for dinner" Raito said and with that left the table not having eaten anything.
"You shouldn't have said that Sayu" Sachiko said in a low voice.
"It slipped out. Do you think nii-san will be ok?" Sayu asked looking at the stairs concerned.
"I'm sure he will be, but we should give him some space for now. I will ask Lawliet-san what happened tomorrow," Sachiko said starting to eat again.
"I think the two may have had an argument" Sayu said in a low voice incase Raito came back down for some reason.
"Why do you say that?" Sachiko asked interested in her daughter's response.
"You know how Ryuuzaki usually sleeps on the left side of the bed," Sayu said and Sachiko nodded her head yes.
"Well it looked like Raito threw that pillow against the wall" Sayu said glancing at the stairs again.
"I'm sure it is nothing," Sachiko said.
"But Raito willingly threw something that was in his room. He never does that and he left the table just now. It has to be more than Ryuuzaki just leaving." Sayu said taking a bite of her salad.
"It might be, but for now let's wait and don't ask your brother any questions." Sachiko said and Sayu looked ready to protest.
"Wait until tomorrow at least I can ask Lawliet-san what happened and we can go from there" Sachiko said and Sayu nodded her head in agreement.
Raito let out a sigh as he re-entered his room.
'Away from prying younger sisters' he thought relived.
'But at the same time back in memory lane' Raito thought and couldn't help but think he was in a lose-lose situation.
He took off his shirt and pants and folded them neatly before placing them in his hamper, and then going to put on indigo pajama pants. Pulling the covers back Raito got into bed, and waited for sleep to claim him.
"Come on Raito-kun, we have to go see the new neighbors" Sachiko said walking into the living room where Raito was sitting on the couch and reading a paper he had gotten in class the day before. It was two o'clock in the afternoon.
"Do we have to go?" Raito asked looking curiously at his mother.
"Of course, we should welcome new neighbors who live close by, even if they do not live on the same street" Sachiko said smiling at Raito.
"And?" Raito said knowing there was something more to it. She couldn't get anything by her son.
"I also heard that they have a son your age" Sachiko said, and Raito stood up from the couch and waited for his mom to join him.
"Ready to go" Sachiko asked holding a small basket in her head that had some brownies. 'Still fresh from the oven' Raito noted idly. She moved closer to Raito and took his hand before turning around and walking past the couch to exit the front door. The two moved outside and Sachiko let go of Raito's hand to lock the door before re-taking her son's hand and the two were off.
"Where is Sayu" Raito asked as they walked down the street.
"She has a play date with Kikyou" Sachiko said.
For the rest of the way Sachiko made small talk on what the new neighbors could be like and Raito said nothing. The two made it to the medium sized house and Sachiko let go of Raito's hand to knock on the door. A moment passed before someone answered it.
The door was opened wide enough for the other person to be seen.
"Hello there, I am Sachiko Yagami, and this is my son Raito-kun. We have come to welcome you into the neighborhood" Sachiko said pleasantly and the other women smiled. She had a petite form, and her hair was a hazelnut brown, but she had wider eyes and it was obvious that she was not Japanese.
"Thank you so much for coming. Come in, and your son can go meet mine." The woman said, excited. She was fluent in Japanese. She opened the door wider and let the two in. They walked into the front hallway and took off their shoes, and put on some green slippers. Boxes were everywhere and the lady blushed in embarrassment before talking. "I apologize for the mess, but because we just moved in, things are not in order yet," She said nervously.
"It is fine, and already seems to be such a lovely home," Sachiko told her and she smiled in thanks.
"I just realized I have not told you my name yet. It is Jenny Lawliet," She said bowing slightly.
"A pleasure" Sachiko said bowing back in return.
"The stairs are right here, if you take them up and go to the last door at the end of the hallway you should find my son" Jenny said and Raito nodded his head in understanding.
Sachiko placed her hand on Raito's back and encouraged him to go up the stairs.
"Thank you for telling me" Raito said smiling politely and moving up the stairs gracefully.
"Such a polite son you have" Jenny said as she and Sachiko made their way to the kitchen.
"Raito-kun is polite to everyone. What is your son like" Sachiko asked, making sure it didn't sound like she was bragging.
"Well Ryuuzaki, my son, is very anti-social" Jenny said worriedly.
"He is shy?" Sachiko asked, as the two entered the kitchen.
"Nothing like that, he just doesn't like talking to people who are not as smart as him" Jenny said truthfully.
"I'm sure him and Raito-kun will become great friends, Raito is quite smart for his age as well" Sachiko said with no hint of bragging in her voice.
"That's a relief, would you like some tea?" Jenny asked turning to Sachiko.
"That would be wonderful, thank you," Sachiko said sitting down at the kitchen table and she and Jenny continued their small talk.
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Raito moved up the stairs steadily and couldn't help but wonder what Lawliet's son would be like. His feet padded against the hard ware floor, and Raito finally made it to the end of the hallway. He knocked on the closed mahogany door and waited for an acknowledgement. A small 'come in' was heard and Raito opened the door slowly.
The first thing he saw was a boy his age sitting on a bed directly in front of Raito. His hair was messed up looking like it hadn't been brushed in weeks, and he wore a lose fitting blue shirt with dark blue jeans. His legs were against his chest and he was playing a game of chess against himself. Raito moved closer, shutting the door behind him, and standing besides the bed.
"Are you playing chess?" Raito questioned looking at the board.
"Yes" the boy said not looking up at Raito.
"Wouldn't it be more interesting to play against someone?" Raito said as more of a challenge than a question. Ryuuzaki's hand stopped inches away from a pawn he was about to take and looked over at Raito.
Ryuuzaki took in Raito's appearance. The boy was wearing a maroon shirt and brown jeans. His hair was a dusty brown, and the shirt helped show a darker brown color of the boy's eyes.
"I'm Yagami, Raito" Raito said smiling at the other boy before he glanced over at the board.
"Lawliet, Ryuuzaki" he responded in a monotone voice.
"I was just about done anyways, you may take a seat across from me" L said and Raito stepped out of the slippers, and sat on the bed facing Ryuuzaki.
"Where did you move from" Raito asked gathering up the white pieces while Ryuuzaki grabbed the black.
"England" He said disinterested, and Raito made a humming sound.
"Did the area you live in rain often" Raito asked finishing putting his pawn into the last place.
"Everyday" Ryuuzaki said finishing setting up his side. Ryuuzaki moved his pawn two spaces on white and waited for Raito to make his move.
"What school will you be attending" Raito asked as he moved his own pawn two spaces on black.
"Sakura elementary" Ryuuzaki said using another pawn to move further up on the board. "I go there as well, perhaps we will have some classes together" Raito said flashing Ryuuzaki a smile before making his next move.
"Would Yagami-kun want to be in the same class as me?" Ryuuzaki asked focusing his attention on the board.
Raito glanced up at Ryuuzaki before his eyes moved to the board.
"I would, because you seem like a very interesting person. No one else I know knows how to play chess." Raito said rearranging his legs so that they were spread out on either side of the board.
"Also you can call me Raito-kun. If you want I can be your friend" Raito said in an honest voice. He wasn't sure why he wanted to be friends with a person who sat so weird, but he was drawn to Ryuuzaki, and he might finally have a friend who was worth being around.
Ryuuzaki glanced up at Raito and the two met each other's eyes. Raito's being sincere and Ryuuzaki's not giving any emotion away.
"I would like that. Raito-kun is about ninety percent as smart as me" Ryuuzaki said, not breaking eye connects.
"What is the other ten percent?" Raito asked not knowing if he wanted to hear it or not. "We have only just met and because I just took one of Raito-kun's pawns I believe that makes me the smarter one at the moment" Ryuuzaki said smirking lightly. Holding up Raito's pawn and moving it from side to side before placing it down on the side of the board. Raito scowled a little, and then a small smirk graced his own lips as he took one of Ryuuzaki's pawns.
"Have the percentages risen?" Raito asked moving the pawn from side to side like Ryuuzaki had just done. L pouted, and Raito found it cute, but didn't say anything. He placed the pawn down and the two continued playing.
"They have risen by a point," Ryuuzaki said, and Raito just smirked without saying anything.
The two finished playing a game with Ryuuzaki as the victor and Raito fought of being tired.
"If Raito-kun is tired he should go to sleep" Ryuuzaki said shoving all the pieces on the board and putting the board under his bed, before coming back to sit on the bed.
"You put it under your bed?" Raito said shocked and L rolled his eyes.
"Most children are messy and I am no exception." L said and Raito laid down on the bed that only had a bed cover and a sheet on it. Boxes were still scattered across the floor.
"How long have you been in this house?" Raito asked feeling his eyes to start to droop. "Two days" Ryuuzaki said and pulled the sheet up over Raito since it had been hanging half way off the bed.
"You should sleep too" Raito said tiredly.
"I am only mildly tired" Ryuuzaki said remaining in his seated position.
"Do you have anything else better to do?" Ratio asked raising an eyebrow. L sighed as he lay down as well. Raito gave him a small victory grin, before promptly passing out and Ryuuzaki soon following.
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"It is already five" Jenny said looking over at the clock surprised. Sachiko looked at the clock to.
"Oh my, I really should get going then. We should continue this conversation another time," Sachiko said and Jenny nodded her head in agreement. The two stood up and made their way over to the stairs.
"I'm surprised we didn't hear the boys," Sachiko said following Jenny up the stairs.
"They probably fell asleep," Jenny said and Sachiko did know it was past her son's naptime.
Their feet padded softly against the floor and Jenny opened the door to Ryuuzaki's room slowly. She stepped into the room with Sachiko behind her.
Raito was lying vertical on the bed with his back firmly on the mattress. Ryuuzaki's head was on Raito's stomach and he was curled up into a fetal position.
"The two look comfy." Jenny said smiling at the scene.
"I have never seen Raito-kun be so comfortable around anyone his age before" Sachiko said surprised her son was letting another kid's head rest on his stomach and looking content.
Jenny pulled out her cell phone and took a picture with it.
"Would you like a copy?" Jenny asked showing the picture to Sachiko.
"That would be wonderful, please give me a copy when you can" Sachiko said smiling. "Of course, I guess we should wake them up" Jenny said sadly. Sachiko moved to the other side of the bed and shook Raito awake. His eyes blinked a few times before meeting his mother's stare.
"We should go soon," Sachiko whispered to her son, not wanting to break the quiet atmosphere.
"Okay" Raito said and lifted his arm up so he could put his hand in Ryuuzaki's hair.
"Oi Ryuuzaki wake up" Raito said shaking Ryuuzaki's head slightly. L opened his and met with Raito's. L grabbed Raito's hand and pulled it out of his hair before sitting up and releasing Raito's hand.
"Make sure to come over and visit anytime you want" Jenny said happily.
"Would it be all right if I came over tomorrow" Raito asked sitting up as well.
L smiled lightly and Jenny nodded her head in agreement.
"That would be fine" Jenny said and Sachiko nodded her head in agreement. Raito smiled at the two and slid off the bed,
"I'll see you tomorrow Ryuuzaki" Raito said slipping on the slippers and giving a small smile to L.
"Of course, perhaps Raito-kun will actually beat me in chess one day" L said lightly.
"I will" Raito said determinedly and him and Sachiko said their final goodbyes before leaving the house.
"Did you have fun?" Sachiko asked her son, holding his hand and gripped the basket handle a little tighter.
"I did, Ryuuzaki is really interesting" Raito said happily.
"I'm sure the two of you will always be best friends," Sachiko said smiling at her son.
"I think so too, and this way I can always have someone with me" Raito said quietly. Sachiko didn't say anything, but she squeezed her son's hand in agreement. The rest of the way home the two walked in silence.
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Raito awoke from the flashback and glared out the glass door. It wasn't fair he was remembering Ryuuzaki while he slept. He was supposed to be able to get away from the insomniac not remember how the two first met.
'It's not like he's dead. Ryuuzaki just left me behind' Raito thought bitterly and glanced over at the clock it read three o'clock a.m.
He probably should go to sleep, but he was no longer tired. Sighing lightly to himself, Raito stood up and made his way over to the desk and sat down at it. He pulled a blank sheet of paper out and grabbed a pen of his desk and debated if he should write Ryuuzaki a letter.
'This is ridiculous he has only been gone for a day' Raito thought standing up and going back to his bed.
'Only one freaking day and I already seem like a desperate girl wanting to write a letter to her boyfriend who went on a family trip' Raito thought bitterly and with that thought, fell asleep ten minutes later.
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"Good morning" Raito said as he entered the kitchen to see Sayu and his mother sitting at the kitchen table.
"You seem more cheerful today, did something happen" Sayu asked curiously.
"No, but doesn't mean I can't be happy" Raito said and Sayu grinned
"Onii-san woke up on the good side of the bed today" Sayu said happily and Raito nodded his head in agreement.
"Are you going to do anything today" Sachiko asked aiming her question at Raito.
"I am going to go to the book store and get a few books I have thought about reading" Raito said and Sachiko nodded her head.
"I'm glad you are doing something today" Sachiko said and Raito smiled at his mother.
"I have to get going now since I have to meet Kikyou at the mall," Sayu said putting her empty plates in sink and going to the door to put her shoes on.
"See you all later" she said and left the house.
A few moments later Sachiko finished as well and stood up from the table to put her dirty dishes in the sink as well. She washed her and Sayu's dishes before coming back out ten minutes later.
"Raito, are you really alright? I heard from Lawliet-san that Ryuuzaki-kun went to Oxford College without telling you" Sachiko said hugging her son lightly.
"I'm fine, I was just surprised that is all" Raito said pleasantly.
"Are you sure, you can tell me what really upset you. I know Ryuuzaki-kun leaving is a great part in that, but I think there is something else as well" Sachiko said concerned.
"I promise that I will be fine" Raito said turning his head so his mom could see him smile at her reassuringly.
"If you say so, but if you ever need to talk come talk to me" Sachiko said hugging Raito a little bit tighter before letting him go.
"I'm going to go to the book store now, thanks for breakfast," Raito said and Sachiko took his dirty dishes before she walked back into the kitchen.
"Have fun at the book store" Sachiko said and Raito gathered his wallet and left the house as well.
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The hotel in Germany was expensive but was well suited for the case L was taking on. "Watari will you bring me some of those files about Nicholas Rian, and Kaspar Faden." Ryuuzaki asked sitting on a small green padded chair, with a cup of tea in one hand and a document of the newest murder victim.
"Of course" Watari said and moved over to the coffee that was on the other side of the room and picked up the two files; he made his way back over to L and handed him the folder
"Do you need anything else?" Watari asked politely.
"No that will be all" L said putting the small glass on a mini table that was right next to him and opened up the file on his main suspect.
Balder Onslow a man in his mid thirties with brown hair and blue eyes. As a child he liked to torture small animals. Eventually it moved up to bigger animals. He was the perfect candidate for the recent case of serial murders. The serial killer let animal prints on the victims as his signature.
L grabbed the laptop off the ground and began to type up the profile of the killer, and having Watari give orders to the other policeman who was focusing on the case. It was a simple task, but the latest victim had left few clues as to whom the attacker was. And then the other victims seem to lack a common thread, and L started going through who everyone else know to see if there was a common person.
Balder Onslow knew all the victims. Each one had somehow owned Balder money, and each one went over today to pay it back.
Ryuuzaki sighed slightly as he did all he could for the night and still had some four hours before Watari would go to the police station and L would be able to speak through the computer, and tell the police he found the common thread in all the murders. Know they had to interview Balder and see what his alibi was for the night of the twenty-seven murder victims. Torturing it out of Balder would be much easier since he highly doubted the man would recall all twenty-seven murders.
Watari came back into the room and placed a piece of lemon pie on the small table. "Thank you Watari" L said digging the fork into the pie and taking a bit.
"Ryuuzaki I know I don't have to tell you this again, but you should remember the only people you can connect on the outside is your parents and no one else" Watari said regret seeping into his tone.
"I know and it is probably for the best that I do not talk to Raito again," L said placing the fork down and standing up.
"It would not be a good idea for me to have any feelings. There is a 65 percent chance that it would end badly if I got involved in a case and still have connections with Yagami-kun could cause me to screw up. My judgment could be impaired because of it. I will try my best not to make any connect with him," L said in a monotone voice staring outside of the glass windows.
"I'm sorry you are losing your only friend Ryuuzaki" Quillish said placing a hand on L's shoulder and squeezed it lightly before letting go.
"Will that be all than L?" Watari asked and L nodded his head.
"You may retire for the night" L said starring blankly out of the window.
He heard Watari walk out of the room and L stood up from the chair and made his way over to look out of the hotel window. The city lights were bright, but not nearly as much as Tokyo's.
'At least the feeling isn't festering anymore' L thought blandly not at all thrilled with the situation. The only friend he would ever have would now hate him.
'Perhaps that is for the best, I do not believe Yagami-kun should forgive me. I left him behind without a backwards glance. I should just let him hate me. Raito-kun is very good at expressing anger' L thought slightly amused by the fact.
'I'll just bury my feeling's for Raito and make sure they never come back out' L thought and nodded his head in agreement.
He would take over the full personality as L, and bury his Ryuuzaki side deep within himself. To function as the best detective in the world his clients would have to see him as a computer. A system that never made mistakes and displayed no emotions at all, he would earn more respect this way.
Emotions got people killed, but being L the greatest detective in the world would make him immortal and being Ryuuzaki Lawliet would get him killed.
The decision was easy and killing the human half of himself really wouldn't be that hard, since he had been working on doing that for years. High school had been a wonderful way to practice.
L faced toward the piles of documents speared out across the floor in an orderly fashion. He knew where each victim profile was and who it was. The case would be ending soon all evidence pointed to Balder and they just needed either fingerprints or a confession before Balder would be put away in jail.
'These cases are going to have to get more difficult if I want to forget Yagami-kun' L thought and grabbed his piece of lemon pie and resumed eating its sugary goodness.
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The rest of summer passed by quickly and the fall came around with the introduction ceremony for To-oh. Raito sat in the first row waiting to be called up to give his introduction speech and he didn't want to be there. It wasn't right that he was sitting there with classmates who may have gotten into the prestigious college but none of them were Ryuuzaki. He was supposed to be sitting next to Raito and making teasing comments about how Raito's speech was girly, but Ryuuzaki wasn't there.
The spot next to him was instead filled by a girl who kept glancing at him and blushing. 'Another fan girl' Raito thought flatly. This situation wasn't right; it wasn't supposed to be like this. Ryuuzaki should be sitting next to him not some girl who looked ready to start small talk. It was all wrong and Raito could do nothing to change it.
"Now would Raito Yagami please come up to the stage and give his speech?" The president of To-Oh said kindly. Raito stood up and made his way up the stage and stood in front of everyone. A charming smile graced his lips and everyone in the auditorium was quiet as they waited for Raito to talk.
The word spilled from his mouth gracefully with everyone in the auditorium enticed by his speech.
'The speech Ryuuzaki was supposed to recite after me' Raito thought during a pause in the speech. It ended and he threw another charming smile to the audience before he walked off the stage and made his way back to his seat.
The sound of another's footsteps was supposed to be behind him, but there was nothing and it was not right that Ryuuzaki was not there.
'He should be here making comments about how corny the speech was. Ryuuzaki shouldn't just be gone' Raito thought taking his seat again. His eyes moved to the seat where the girl was and not Ryuuzaki.
'She shouldn't be there. This is Ryuuzaki's seat not hers' Raito thought but withheld the anger he felt swelling up in his chest.
'No use getting mad at the girl, it is not her fault Ryuuzaki left' Raito thought and with that calmed down. His eyes refocused on the stage.
He did not believe that Ryuuzaki had gone to another college; the two had talked for years abut attending the same college and within the course of a week Raito highly doubted that Ryuuzaki had just changed his mind and left without telling him. There was a reason, but unless Ryuuzaki told him there was no way of knowing. It would probably be years before he knew if the two of them kept going at this rate.
Mrs. Lawliet had told him that Ryuuzaki was doing fine, but that was it. She never told him that Ryuuzaki said sorry for leaving without telling, which Raito doubted he would have, but she also never told him that her son had told her to tell him specifically hi or ask how Raito was doing.
Ryuuzaki had made no form of connect with Raito at all. He had spent the last few months waiting for a text message or an e-mail that at least said hi, but nothing from Ryuuzaki ever came. The only text messages he got where from Misa wanting more dates, and from lesser friends asking if he wanted to hang out.
Not one message had ever been from Ryuuzaki.
'How could Ryuuzaki just tell me he loved me, leave and then not even send me any messages? It's not right he could have told me something' Raito thought with a blank face the whole time. No need to let anyone know his inner turmoil.
The introduction ceremonies soon ended and Raito stood up with the rest of his classmates to leave.
"Umm, I was wondering if you want to go get some coffee," the girl who had been sitting next to him asked.
"I'm sorry, but I am meeting up with my girlfriend" Raito told her giving the girl an apologetic smile.
"Oh, maybe I will see you around campus then" she said smiling nervously and then hurrying away.
Raito sighed inwardly, it had been a lie. Misa was in Osaka doing a fashion shoot for a teen magazine. He was not quite sure which one, but did not care, for it was of no importance to him.
Taking the metro to the college was the quickest way and Raito hurried to make sure he made the next one. He didn't want to get lost in thought while standing in the subway station. As soon as he stepped onto the platform the metro pulled up and Raito stepped into it. It wasn't a rush hour, but most of the seats were taken. A seat was unoccupied in the middle of the cart and Raito sat down, as soon as he sat down the metro pulled away from the station.
His father had not gotten out of work and Raito was relieved about that. At the moment, he did not want to have to deal with Sayu sending him pitying looks, since she seemed to catch on to how much he really did miss Ryuuzaki. He played it down in front of his family and told them that getting into Oxford was quite an accomplishment and that even through the two would not be attending the same college he was still genuine happy for Ryuuzaki.
At times his mom would throw him pitying looks as well, but Sayu always did whenever college was bought up. He really wish she stop, it was only making the situation worse. Because her looks always had the same meaning and Raito did not know how much more of those looks he could take before admitting to his family that he may indeed be in love with his best friend who had left him behind. And that Ryuuzaki hurt him a lot more than he was willingly to show.
No he would just have to learn a way to get around Sayu's looks. He be damned if he ever admitted that aloud to his family.
The metro came to a stop and Raito stood up and made his way off of it quickly, not wanting the doors to shut on him. Once he was safely off Raito walked back home with his head held high and looking perfectly calm. If he didn't have such a strong sense of justice he would of gone into the acting the world.
He opened the front door to his house and stepped in. Slipping of his shoes and putting on the slippers Raito made his way into the kitchen to grab an apple before going up to his room.
"Welcome back Raito-kun, how did your speech go?" Sachiko asked from the kitchen table, Mrs. Lawliet sat across from her sipping some green tea.
"It went fine everyone seemed to enjoy it" Raito told his mother pleasantly.
"Always nice to see you Lawliet-san" Raito said bowing slightly.
"You don't have to be so formal Raito-kun I have known you since you were five" Jenny said waving the idea of being polite to her off.
"Old habits die hard" Raito said chuckling slightly.
"I'm sure they do. A shame that Ryuuzaki couldn't have gone to To-Oh; don't get me wrong I am happy he got into Oxford, but it would have been nice to see the two of you continue your schooling together" Jenny said wistfully.
"I agree, but as long as Ryuuzaki is happy at Oxford then I don't mind. Have you spoken to him lately" Raito asked hiding the eagerness in his voice.
"Yes I have. He said that school is going well, but can be quite boring since it is not challenging enough" Jenny said laughing at her son's antics of not being challenged enough even through he was going to a prestigious school.
"I see I am glad that his schooling is going well," Raito said pleasantly.
"I am happy for him to. You know I find it odd that he never asks about you, or tells me to tell you something" Jenny said looking up at the ceiling in deep thought.
"He is probably just busy with schoolwork I am sure it just slips his mind" Raito said turning around and heading for the stairs.
"He isn't the type to do that. At times Ryuuzaki can have an amazing memory" Jenny said quietly.
"Did you two really not get into a fight before he left" Jenny asked turning to Raito. He turned around smiling lightly.
"I promise we did not get into fight" Raito reassured Jenny easily.
"Next time he calls I will ask about it" Jenny said,
"That isn't necessary" Raito told her politely.
"It is no trouble at all and I will be more than happy to find out why he has stopped talking to you" Jenny told him earnestly.
"There is a good chance that even if you ask he will not tell you. I really do appreciate the offer, but I would like to talk to him about it myself" Raito said somewhat pleadingly. "All right, but if you change your mind tell me" Jenny said and Raito agreed before turning back around and heading upstairs.
It was so easy to put a mask on; no one was ever able to see through it. At times like these Raito couldn't help but wonder if he truly loved or hated his perfected mask.
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A week passed by and Jenny sat by the phone waiting for it to ring. Ryuuzaki always called every two weeks to tell her he was doing fine and asking how things back home were doing.
"He will call don't worry so much" Hatori said taking his wife hands and squeezing them slightly.
"I know but he is pushing his only real friend away and it worries me," Jenny said.
"He may not want to be close to Raito-kun right now, since he is so far away from home" Hatori said and Jenny gave him a skeptical look.
"We both know that is a bunch of BS" Jenny said and Hatori shrugged his shoulders.
The phone rang at exactly eight o'clock and Jenny picked it up.
"Hello" she asked waiting to hear if it was her son or not.
"Okaa-san everything is going fine" Ryuuzaki monotone voice said.
"That's great Ryuu-chan. Your father and I have been doing great. Are you going to come home for winter break?" Jenny questioned happily.
"I am not sure if I will be able to, but we should talk about it later since it is still a few months away" Ryuuzaki said in a bored tone.
"Of course, you are right after all" Jenny said and she could imagine her son smirking at the comment.
"Hold on a second dear" Jenny said and covered the mouthpiece.
"Hatori can you please go make me some tea," Jenny asked and Hatori nodded his head. "Tell Ryuuzaki that I say hi" Hatori said kissing Jenny on the cheek and leaving the room.
"Your father says hi as well dear," Jenny said bringing the mouthpiece back up.
"Tell him I say the same," L said.
"I will, is there anyone else you would like me to tell that to" Jenny questioned innocently.
"No there is not," L said in a monotone voice.
The phone was quiet for a bit longer and L heard his mother sigh from the other end of the line.
"I won't pry since Raito-kun asked me not to, but Ryuuzaki do not lose the only real friend you have ever had. I want to see you happy" Jenny said concerned.
"I will try" L said and knew it was a lie and could tell his mother believed so as well from the small sigh he heard from her again.
"I will talk to you later than Okaa-san tell dad I also say bye" L asked.
"Of course, talk to you later Ryuu-chan" Jenny said smiling. After that comment the phone line went dead.
"How are your parents doing" Watari asked from besides L.
"They are both doing fine" L said flatly.
"That is good news and Raito-kun" Watari asked sounding hesitant in asking.
"He will live" L said and with that stood up from the new hotel chair he was in and made his way over to the living room to throw himself into his newest case.
"Would you like anything to eat," Watari asked before L disappeared out of sight. "Strawberry cheesecake" L said not even pausing and walked into the living room sitting on the floor and hunching over the scenes from the newest crime scene.
If he stopped eating whenever Raito's name came up he would never get over the older boy and soon enough he be able to get over Raito. That would be a greater accomplishment then solving the murder cases he worked on. Not seeing Raito or being around the places the two had been together was quite helpful.
What was in the past should stay in the past. His past with Raito no longer held any future for the two and he kept telling himself it was for the best. Know if he could only get his Ryuuzaki side to believe that as well.
Watari came in holding a slice of strawberry cheesecake with a cup of green tea. He placed it besides L and left the room quietly. He didn't need distractions from his newest case and was glad that the case and cheesecake was helping him throw himself into work and not having to come back out for awhile.
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The first day of school came and Raito was not looking forward to it. A few of the friends he had made in high school got into To-oh as well and Raito continued to talk to them.
"I'm surprised you're not hanging out with Ryuuzaki" Shin said looking around for a black mop of hair.
"I told you he went to Oxford" Raito said for the thousandth time. He was getting tired of having to tell people where Ryuuzaki was supposed to be.
"Still man you two were almost inseparable. If I hadn't met your girlfriend I would have sworn you two were gay for each other" Shin teased, but his voice held a serious note under it.
"You and everyone else" Raito said offhandedly.
"How is your girlfriend, she has one sweet ass" Shin said and Raito rolled his eyes. "Fine, I think she is coming back from Osaka in a couple of days" Raito said nonchalant. "Really you're not going to tell me to not look at your girlfriend's ass" Shin said looking at Raito skeptical.
"I don't really care, through you shouldn't stare at girls butts as much as you do. It is the reason you don't have a girlfriend," Raito said shrugging his shoulders.
"Man most guys would be pissed that I dare make a comment about their girlfriends butt and you don't care. Only got eyes for Ryuuzaki then" Shin said elbowing Raito in the ribs. Raito felt his eyebrow twitch and his face heat up from the remark.
"Holy crap man I was kidding" Shin said laughing as the two walked to their next class. "This is not blushing, it is from surpassing my anger from you" Raito said flatly and speed up his walking.
"Come on I was kidding, jeez you can act like such a girl at times. I bet you'd be the uke in a relationship," Shin said catching up to Raito.
"I do not act like a girl," Raito said facing Shin and crossing his arms over his chest. "Sure and why didn't you admit to not being the uke?" Shin asked raising an eyebrow and Raito scowled at him.
"I know that I would not be the submissive one in a relationship and felt no need to justify it to you" Raito said uncrossing his arms.
"Whatever man you're clearly in denial, but I shall be the bigger man and drop it" Shin said proudly. Raito didn't feel the need to say anything to that and kept his mouth shut. "Words of advice through dump your girlfriend and let me date her. If you're not interested then don't lead someone on" Shin said seriously.
"I'll think about it" Raito said and Shin grinned.
"See even us less intelligent people can say smart things every so often" Shin said grinning from ear to ear.
"I guess so," Raito said and Shin knew it wasn't meant to insult him.
"One more word of advice, solve what ever issues you have with Ryuuzaki. It is obvious you two are closer than friends, so figure out whatever the hell it is and make up already. And don't give me that crap about him being in the United Kingdoms. Talk on the phone, or text message, but figure it out already so I don't have to hear about you whine and bitch about it later" Shin said.
"If I can get him to talk to me then sure and I do not whine about him being gone" Raito said wanting to figure that out as well.
"Good now let us enter the wonderful class of criminology 101," said Shin walking into the classroom and taking a seat in the back. Raito sat next to him and waited for the class to start.
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Raito's phone rang once he got home from school a couple days later.
"Hello" Raito said waiting for the person on the other line to talk.
"Raito why haven't you called Misa-Misa while she was away" Misa said in a pouting voice.
"I apologize Misa, but I got distracted" Raito said vaguely.
"You were hanging out with Ryuuzaki the whole time weren't you. You have been having an affair while Misa-Misa is a way" Misa said sounding close to tears.
"No I have not. Ryuuzaki left toward the beginning of summer" Raito said flatly.
"Really Misa is so relieved" she said happily.
"Look can we stop talking about Ryuuzaki" Raito said getting fed up with everyone. They just had to keep bringing him up.
"Misa-Misa completely agrees" Misa said and Raito could imagine her shaking her head vigorously in agreement.
"Misa-Misa just got back, we should go on a date today" Misa said and Raito found himself agreeing.
"So meet me at the park at six and we can go see the old romantic movie they are playing tonight" Misa said excitedly.
"Sure" Raito said and the two hanged up.
Six o'clock came and the two met up at the entrance of the park.
"I'm so happy to see my Raito again," Misa said throwing her arms around Raito's waist and hugging him tightly. She was wearing a short denim mini skirt with a black tank top. "It is nice to see you to Misa" Raito said placing his hands on her shoulders and pushing her back slightly.
"Let's go find a spot before all the good ones are taken" Misa said dragging Raito to a small tree that was at the very end of the wide opening. Most of the other couples sat in the clearing and the big screen was attached to a small stage that was done for outside musicals every so often.
Misa sat down against the back of the tree and Raito sat a few inches away from her. "Misa-Misa had so much fun in Osaka and their accents were just so cute. A little kid asked for Misa-Misa autograph with this strange accent and I hugged him right there even though he was kind of chubby" Misa said and Raito zoned her out.
'It shouldn't be this easy for a person to rumble on about useless things' Raito thought nodding his head whenever he thought Misa was expecting it.
The movie started at exactly six thirty and Misa finally went silent as the movie started. She scooted a few inches closer to Raito and pressed her shoulder against his arm while keeping her focus on the movie.
'Should I break up with Misa? I guess it is not fair to lead her on since I have no intention of making this relationship a serious one. But if I do stay with her and do meet Ryuuzaki again someday it will annoy the hell out of him' Raito thought smiling slightly at the idea of that.
'But at the same time there is a chance I will never see him again and I don't think it is worth keeping Misa around for who knows how long' Raito sighed inwardly. It all came down to if it was worth keeping Misa around to annoy Ryuuzaki or not.
'If I had known for a fact that Ryuuzaki was leaving then I probably would keep Misa around since I know I would see him again. But because there is a low possibility of meeting Ryuuzaki again I don't think I will keep her around. She should find someone who actually cares about her and with college homework, as simply as it might be, I don't need anyone around who will annoy me' Raito thought and came to his conclusion.
Misa had tired a few times to sit in his lap, but failed all three times.
"Misa let's go," Raito said as the movie credits started to roll.
" 'Kay, do you want to go anywhere else Misa-Misa has off tomorrow" Misa said taking Raito hand in her own and he lead her off to the side where there was a bridge that overlooked the water. The park had street lamps and the moon was full that night, so it still pretty bright out even though it was passed eight o'clock.
"Raito is being so romantic" Misa cheered happily as they stopped on the bridge and Raito turned to face Misa.
"Look Misa, I don't think it is a good idea for us to be dating anymore," Raito said looking Misa straight in the eyes to make sure she got it.
"What are you talking about, Raito and Misa are perfectly happy together, why would you break up Misa-Misa" Misa asked her voice shaking slightly.
"Misa I am not happy with you, but if you want I will still be your friend" Raito said earnestly.
"But Misa and Raito are supposed to stay together we make a beautiful couple and Misa-Misa loves Raito very much" Misa said her voice cracking.
"Misa it is a one-sided love and I am really sorry to say this but I will never love you in the way you want me to" Raito said gently.
"Misa-Misa can change that, I can make Raito fall in love with Misa," she said grabbing a hold of Raito's shirt and looking up at him with tears starting to fell from her eyes. "Misa you can't make a person fall in love with you. It just happens and I don't feel any romantic feelings towards you" Raito said calmly.
"Then why did you date Misa-Misa if you knew that" Misa said with more tears falling from her eyes.
"Misa we both know that I do not love you. We have known it for a long time, so take your part in the blame because you knew and did not want to let go" Raito said in a quiet reprimanding tone.
"Of course Misa knew, but Misa-Misa saw the way you looked at Ryuuzaki and did not want you to turn gay" Misa said.
"Let's not talk about Ryuuzaki, after all this is about you and me" Raito said firmly.
"It is the reason though. You finally figured it out and after I tried so hard to make you love me," Misa said crying harder.
"What did I figure out Misa" Raito said confused and Misa looked up with tear stained cheeks.
"Then Misa still has hope. Stay with Misa-Misa and Misa can show you love. He can't love you the way I do and it won't be as fiercely as I love you so stay with Misa" Misa said putting her head on Raito's chest.
"I am not going to stay with you Misa" Raito said pushing Misa away lightly.
"But why would you leave Misa know, Ryuuzaki is gone and I can be your happiness now" Misa said desperately.
"He is not gone," Raito said flatly.
"But he is I heard he left you without saying goodbye. Misa-Misa would never do that choose Misa over him and Misa-Misa can make you happy" she said and Raito pushed her fully away.
"He may have done that Misa, but I can never choose you over him. You were never a source of my happiness" Raito said and Misa sobs became harder.
"Look Misa I do want you to find someone who can make you happy but it will never be me. Let the thought go and find someone else" Raito told her sincerely and Misa knees hit the bridge as she sobbed harder.
Raito sighed as he took a few steps to be standing in front of Misa and knelt beside her. "Misa you are a pop idol and I know you will find someone else, so cheer up," Raito said stroking her hair lightly.
Misa continued to cry hard for a few more minutes before claming down.
"Will Raito walk Misa-Misa back to her hotel" Misa asked looking up at Raito and hiccupping slightly.
"I will" Raito said standing up and letting his hand fall in front of Misa face. She accepted the gesture and used Raito's hand to help her stand up.
"Can we at least hold hands until we get to my hotel" Misa asked sounding slightly perky.
"Only if you don't take it as a sign that we are dating" Raito said seriously.
"Misa promises she won't" Misa said smiling lightly, but her tears had left stain marks down her face and her mascara was running slightly. Raito used his free hand to pull out a handkerchief and gave it to Misa.
"Thanks" She said taking it and wiping most of the mascara of.
"You can keep it Misa I don't really need it" Raito said and Misa put it in her purse gently.
"I'm ready to go," she said quietly and Raito and her started walking toward her hotel.
The two walked back to her hotel since it was only a few blocks away. It was silent the whole time, but neither one minded.
"So Misa-Misa can still be Raito's friend" Misa asked as they stopped in front of her hotel.
"Of course" Raito said.
"A friend with benefits" Misa asked innocently and Raito chuckled slightly.
"No Misa, now go get some rest you look tired" Raito told her and Misa giggled slightly. "Had to try" Misa said and Raito smiled lightly.
"I know and for future reference it is never going to work," Raito said letting go of Misa hand.
"You never know. You may give up your feelings for Ryuuzaki and come crawling back to Misa-Misa" Misa said laughing and winking at Raito.
"I highly doubt that" Raito said.
"Night Raito, oh and if Ryuuzaki ever hurts your feelings I will beat him up for you" Misa said determinedly.
"I'm sure, good night Misa" Raito said.
"Bye bye Raito" Misa said and with that entered the hotel building.
Raito waited until she was inside before leaving.
'She may be clingy, but still bearable' Raito thought and walked back home.
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Eight months went by and Raito still had heard nothing from Ryuuzaki. He was hoping that Ryuuzaki would at least connect him today since it was his birthday. There was a strong doubt that anything would happen, but he still felt hopefully that Ryuuzaki would at least send him something. A text message would be acceptable.
"Happy birthday onii-san" Sayu said as she came into his room and jumped on his bed grinning like a mad women.
"Hello Sayu" Raito said sitting up, but was knocked back down with the force of Sayu's hug.
"Turning nineteen, you are getting so old" Sayu said playfully and sat back up on the bed. "Getting more mature with age" Raito said and Sayu grinned.
"I don't know if you can get more mature," she said teasingly. Raito smiled back at her and got off his bed.
"I need to get changed, so if you don't mind please leave," Raito said ruffling his sister's hair.
"Does that count as your birthday wish" Sayu asked and Raito smiled
"No" he said simply and Sayu left the room without compliant.
He changed into brown kakis and a red button up shirt. It was still a school day and all of his classes were in the morning and early afternoon.
"You should ditch your classes today" Sayu told Raito as he came downstairs.
"I am not going to miss school, there is a chance I may miss something important" Raito said.
"I am sure everyone in your classes would be more than happy to tell you what it is you missed" Sayu pointed out.
"I think it is a good thing that Raito is going to his classes, shows dedication," Soichiro said from his spot at the kitchen table. He folded the newspaper he was reading and glanced up at Raito.
"Happy birthday" he said smiling and then took a sip of the coffee he had in front of him.
"Thanks dad" Raito said grabbing an apple and saying his goodbyes before heading off to school.
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He arrived back home at three o'clock in the afternoon and saw that he was the only person in the house. Sayu still had to go to school, his father was at work, and his mom was out in the grocery store buying Raito's favorite foods to cook tonight.
There was nothing to do and he lay down on the couch bored out of his mind. Ryuuzaki cell phone was out of service and Raito knew he had changed it without telling him on purpose.
'He obviously doesn't want to talk to me anymore' thought Raito glaring at his own cell phone. It read no new texts and Raito had checked his e-mail at school getting multiple happy birthdays from people he hardly knew and only really talked to them in classes. The one person he wanted a text from he would not get it.
He placed his phone down on his chest and shut his eyes.
'Why am I still hoping to get a message from him? It has already been eight months and still nothing. Luckily I don't love him, or else this would actually hurt my feelings' Raito thought snorting at the thought. His phone vibrated on his chest and he sat straight up grabbing the phone and looking to see whom the text was from.
'Only from Misa' Raito thought deflated and opened his phone to look at the message. Refusing to admit to himself that he had hoped it would have been someone else.
'Happy b-day Raito, we should hang out soon love Misa-Misa' it read and Raito shut the phone and placed it on the coffee table.
Raito pulled out his textbooks and opened the first one up.
'The inner workings of a criminal mind' was a required book he had to read and he might as well get started.
Two hours passed by before he heard the door open and close and Sachiko stepped into the living room.
"Happy birthday Raito-kun" Sachiko said smiling at her son and moved straight to the kitchen with her hands full of grocery bags.
"Do you need help?" Raito asked putting the book down. He had already gotten past the first 200 pages and only had a hundred and twenty seven left.
"No you just rest since it is your birthday. I got things covered" Sachiko said from the kitchen and Raito started reading the book again.
"Onii-san it's your birthday" Sayu said hugging Raito from behind twenty minutes later. "Oh you figured it out," Raito teased and Sayu let go of him while hitting his arm playfully.
A few more hours passed and the family gathered around the table. Raito thanked his mother for the dinner and blew out candles on the cake but did not eat any. He hated sweet things. For gifts he got a laptop, new version of 'Paradise Lost' by John Milton, Yo Yo Ma Bach CD, and some new clothes items.
After that was all done Raito thanked his family again and went upstairs. He placed all the gifts down on his bed before gabbing one at a time and putting it in its proper place. The cell phone was placed on the nightstand and Raito sat on his bed and started up the laptop.
For a couple of hours he played around it with uploading files into it and checking his e-mail every so often. The clock read ten o'clock and Raito shut of his laptop and put it on his desk. He turned the TV on and the first thing the news talked about that night was how L had solved yet again another difficult case.
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There were no cases for him to solve at the moment. He had been juggling five cases and all of them had been finished within the week. The worst part for him was that it was Raito's birthday and he couldn't decide if he was going to call or not.
The phone had been mocking him all day long. It figured that a small dry spot happened on the day of Raito's birthday. The one day no one decided to kill someone or have a hostage situation was the one day L wanted to be swamped in work.
'Karma really is a bitch' Ryuuzaki thought darkly and made his way to another room where Watari had been looking for cases for L to solve.
"Any luck yet Watari?" L asked standing at the entrance of the room and noted that it was five o'clock p.m. Russian time.
"There have been same small cases, but nothing that would interest you" Watari said turning his chair around to face his grandson.
"I am willingly to work on smaller cases if there is nothing that is demanding my attention" L said in a monotone voice.
"This wouldn't be because it is Raito-kun's birthday and you just want to throw yourself into work" Watari asked.
"That has nothing to do with it Watari, even smaller cases need my help at times" L said flatly his facial expression giving away nothing.
"There are no cases that need your attention, perhaps tomorrow they will need it" Watari said, and L withheld a sigh.
"You are punishing me for not talking to Raito-kun" L said flatly and Watari smiled at him.
"No I am not, but if you feel that way then maybe you should call Raito-kun up" Watari said innocently.
"I can find other ways to entertain myself for the rest of the day" L said leaving the room and entering the kitchen. The fridge was on the far right side of the room with the counter space opposite of it. In the center was a long wooden table that was set for six people, one chair at each end of the table and two sets of chairs on the opposite sides of the table. L made his way over to the fridge and opened the door. It revealed various items of sweet food and L grabbed the chocolate covered strawberries that had cheesecake in-between the chocolate and strawberry. He sat down at the table and ate ten of them before putting the other five back and going back out to the main room where his computer was.
His computer had access to the case files but he wanted to prove Watari wrong in this matter; that he could handle not talking to Raito on the older boy's birthday. Of course his mother had told him that Raito said hi for when it was his birthday. But he refused to feel guilty about this.
His cell phone was buried in his front pocket and mocking him. It was a new phone since his old one could be traced back to the people he knew. This one had no names on it at all. The main computer had the numbers of every important politician in the world.
Ryuuzaki set the computer down and pulled out the cell phone holding it in front of his face.
'Calling Raito would be so easy. But it would defeat the whole purpose of driving him away. I am not going to break it to make Raito-kun feel better. I'm sure Raito won't even notice.' L thought and shoved the cell phone deep within his pockets. He started a new game of solitaire on his computer, while ignoring the feeling of guilt eating away at his consciousness.
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It was past midnight when Raito decided to call it a night,
'As I thought he never called' Raito thought angrily.
'Did he really want to push me away that much? If this is his way of rejecting me before I could reject him then he must seriously lack any confidence in my answer' Raito thought feeling his eye twitch again.
"The bastard didn't even let me reply" Raito mumbled and threw his phone at the wall where a loud smacking sound was heard before the phone fell to the ground.
He lay down on the bed and humped to himself.
"If he doesn't want to be my friend or potential lover anymore then I will stop waiting around for the call" Raito told himself lightly. He would just slip on another mask and pretend everything was ok.
He had filled the small gap in his chest with hope, but that had disappeared and the emptiness came back in full force. It had spread deeper than it had when he first realized that Ryuuzaki was gone and not coming back. Raito knew he had been in denial and held onto the small hope that Ryuuzaki would come back, but eight months without a single message was enough to help keep him awake.
'He is not coming back' Raito thought and the statement finally hit him at full force. Tears sprang to his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. The feeling was suffocating him and before he fell asleep Raito wondered if he would feel like he was drowning for the rest of his life.
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End of chapter 3
Tora Kitsune gets many thanks for editing this chapter. I really do appreciate it hugs.
Finally finished chapter 3 yay! Hope all you enjoyed it. Now to clear a few things up, first I am not going to make Shin and Misa a couple cause it would take away from story and I do not care enough about Misa to do that. I downright dislike her, but didn't want her to be as annoying in this story, so I am trying to play it down a bit.
L and Raito will meet again in the next chapter, but I will have a span of quite a few years passing before they do. I realize that Raito is probably really OOC, but angst Raito is just so much fun to write, I can't help it. Through I am hoping that most of my characters did remain in character. I do have Ryuuzaki referring to Raito as Yagami-kun, Raito-kun and Raito on purpose. Attempting to show a distancing method that hopeful worked.
I apologize for having three other characters and hope you did not get bored with their personalities. Hopefully L's case he was working on did not bore any of you; I am trying to get a feeling of what it is going to be like for later chapters.
I will stop the author's note now since most of you are probably wondering why the hell I am still talking. Hope you will all review and tell me if you did like this chapter or not.
Poll results for 'Should I turn the story 'the choices we make' into a story where Raito has the Death Note or not?'
77 percent no, 13 percent you decide since it is your story, and 9 percent yes. I am actually relieved that the Death Note will not be in this story. Thank you all for voting!
Rain angst