Chunin Exam Eve

"Chunin exams?" asked Sasuke, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah… It's rare for rookies to be nominated, but you guys are gonna steamroll the competition." Kakashi said, blandly.

"And you want us out of your hands as fast as possible." Sakura added, flatly. "We're kinda busy with our training right now, how long will this take?"

"Training?" Kakashi asked. "Need I remind you that you," he began, pointing at Sakura "Beat the everloving shit out of Zabuza," he said, turning to Sasuke "You're capable of picking the pockets of even Kage level shinobi and you" then he stopped, blinking as he looked at where the red eyed blond was doing pushups. As in, one-fingered push-ups. "… Well, I can't believe he's training even if I see it. Anyway, I don't even need to describe the kind of shit he pulls on a daily basis."

Naruto stopped and with a mighty push, sent himself back into a standing position. He smirked at Kakashi. "This kind of training is nigh useless for one such as I." He began, and then he removed his fine silk shirt, showing off his oddly tattooed chest. Kakashi was certain that the red lines drawn on him did not come from the Shiki Fuuin. "Regardless, I concur with your logic, it is unimaginably stupid to keep us as low level shinobi."

"Eh, it might just be a waste of time. It's not like we get more privileges as chunin, we just get more responsibilities." Sakura said, looking at Sasuke for his obviously incoming two cents (which he'd charge you four cents to hear sometimes).

"Chunin are allowed to actually pick missions on their own, of both C and B rank, and are assigned A rank missions in groups provided that they are judged capable of performing them." Sasuke explained, looking at Kakashi who nodded in confirmation. Nodding back, Sasuke continued. "In the long run, it'd be more lucrative, though we'd lose the time we're technically participating in the chunin exams and thus not active shinobi, because we wouldn't be able to take missions."

"That's a yes, then." Sakura summarized. "I'm sure we can make an exception about the whole missions thing so you can keep cheating people of their hard earned cash." She said, rolling her green eyes, flicking her braid so it was behind her shoulders where it should and then turning to the blond who looked to be meditating. "It's up to you, then. I'm fine with taking them, but you're the one who'll be kept here for whatever time we need to be to compete, and you're the ruler of Wave so you might not want to be forced to stay here in case something that needs your direct attention happens to come up."

"That's surprising foresight from a genin." A new voice entering the clearing that Team 7 went about training daily in spoke. The voice came from behind the trees that separated the place where the memorial stone rested from the rest of the world, as a person in white and red robes wandered in, the genin and jounin both gave their full attention to the Hokage. "But of course, not surprising from someone like you, Sakura-chan."

The pinkette smiled wryly. "I'm not known for being dumb, Hokage-sama." She said, smirking at the Hokage's amused smile.

"No, you're known for punching a phoenix god in the face and making him cry." The Hokage replied, suppressing a peal of laughter as he did so, clearly way too amused at remembering the event.

"He was asking for it." Sakura said, shrugging. "And he was no god."

"Ah? Would you happen to have a frame of comparison?" At this, Team 7 shared a moment of synchronicity and began to laugh. Hard. "Oh? I am most interested in the tale of such an event."

"They've got this idea in their mind about redefining the term of what a 'god' is." Kakashi informed Sarutobi Hiruzen, shrugging as he did so. "Considering what they plan to redefine it to, I'm not particularly interested in turning them off the idea."

"And what would that definition be, if you'd mind sharing?" Asked Sarutobi, raising an eyebrow.

"It's simple, really." Sasuke said, sounding completely at ease despite the fact that he was talking to the man who was technically his supreme boss.

"If the gods that exist now are a contemptible existence believing themselves above humanity not by the merit of their actions but by the circumstances of their birth, then they are not, by the definition of the King, gods." Naruto stated, red eyes focusing on the Hokage's own, causing the man to be impressed by the sheer intensity. "We shall dispose of and replace them."

"You plan to dispose of the gods?" Asked Sarutobi. "Hm. Well, this is interesting then. Why don't you start right now, then? I am considered the God of Shinobi. Am I then a contemptible existence to be eliminated?" He feigned hurt in his words, sounding as if he'd been stricken in the heart by an insensitive man.

Naruto sounded genuinely amused when he broke into laughter. Normally, when people laugh at such a time, it is sarcastic, not genuine like this. It was surprising, to say the least, to the God of Shinobi. "You are one of the reasons I hold this belief." Naruto said, crossing his arms.

"Yeah." Sakura stated, nodding. "It might seem like he pulls the things he says out of his ass, but he's got a surprisingly deep thought process when he bothers explaining it." Sakura said, shrugging. "It's a shame he tends to be wrong. A lot."

Sasuke laughed. "Being wrong doesn't seem to be a problem when you can rearrange reality so that you're right." He said, turning to Naruto and smiling.

"The rules don't apply to me, mongrels. I apply to the rules." Naruto explained, smirking and sounding greatly amused at the banter he shared with his teammates. Sarutobi smiled at the display of camaraderie in the team everybody said was the least likely to click.

"You still have not explained how I influenced you so, Naruto-dono." It felt kind of odd having to refer to Naruto that way, but then again, there was a pretty damn big possibility that Naruto would take over the world at some point, so it was best to get used to it.

"It's simple, really. You haven't got even a drop of divine blood in you. Your lineage cannot be traced to any of the supposedly great clans, you possess no particular bloodline and you possess no particular gift for any of the shinobi arts. Essentially, you're nothing special. A normal human being." Explained Naruto, gesturing with his hands towards where Sarutobi was increasingly more surprised at the rather quick jump to his family tree the conversation had taken. "And yet, through hard work and effort you have attained such power, such intelligence and such skill that you're recognized as the pinnacle of the ninja arts. You're called the god of shinobi because you represent the highest level of proficiency that can be achieved in their arts. Is that not a just reason to call someone a god? What does your birth mean in the face of your achievements?"

"See? Surprisingly deep when he wants to be." Sakura said, smiling at the way Naruto completely ignored her other than the almost unnoticeable twitch of his eyebrow.

"I am not the King of Wave because I was born as part of its royal family. I am not entitled to this world because I was born in a position in which that would be the most expected outcome." Naruto explained, as he accepted the shirt Sasuke had thrown him. He needed it dramatically flapping in the wind for effect, so he threw it on but left it unbuttoned. "I am the King of Wave because I offered them protection in exchange for subservience, and I am protecting them as they are one of my treasures. I am going to rule this world and subjugate it to my will because I wish to do so and I see no reason why I cannot achieve my goal. Being born in misery and poverty means nothing if I can rise beyond it through my own two hands. Should I not be proud of my own strength? Should I not put it to use?"

"And now you know why we're friends." Sasuke stated, shrugging. "This whole thing about doing things yourself without depending on someone else? That's kind of my clan's philosophy. Well, kind of like it, except not quite as stupid and unnecessarily violent."

"Yeah, but he's still sounding far more altruistic than he really is here." Sakura said. "Doesn't really convey the same message."

"Tche." Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "Is it not more evil to make someone reliant and thus dependent on oneself for defense than to teach someone to defend themselves? I do not believe in being pointlessly altruistic, in helping those who would not help themselves."

"I'm still puzzled by how you can go from building the Great Walls of Wave yourself stone by stone to chewing them out for asking you to help them with their other projects." Kakashi remarked, sounding slightly confused even as he said it.

"Well, that one's easy." Sakura admitted. "If he did everything for them, they'd just keep asking him to do everything for them and never learn to do anything themselves. It's like the fish story." Sakura explained, nodding to herself as she said it. "Though I still don't know why you built the wall in the first place."

"I was there." Sasuke stated. "He didn't build the wall." He said, looking completely deadpan. "He pulled it out of the ground. Yeah, I don't know how that works either."

"Doton jutsu, I'd imagine." The Hokage interjected.

"And you would be wrong." Naruto informed him. "What I do and how I do it is not pertinent to this conversation, in any case." He said with an air of finality that had even the Hokage impressed by how he could impose his authority oh so easily. "Why I did it is simple. It was necessary and it was urgent that it be done."

"Well, that makes enough sense, I guess." Kakashi said, shrugging. "Regardless, Hokage-sama, I imagine you didn't just come to chat?"

"I guess you could say I did, Kakashi-kun." Sarutobi said, smiling ruefully. "But my timing is the one thing that hasn't gone away with age, I suppose, for the chunin exams are exactly what I came to discuss. You see, you do not have an option in this matter. The declining level of the standard academy graduate coupled with an increasingly more worrisome lack of commitment amongst our forces have made the opinion of Konoha at large to lower, particularly on the noble circles and as you might understand, we cannot let this continue to be so."

"So you want us to make a statement in the chunin exams." Sakura summarized, raising an eyebrow.

"No, Sakura-chan." Hiruzen replied, shaking his head and offering her an amused smile. "I want you to completely and utterly destroy any rumor of Konoha's possible weakness during these Chunin Exams." The wizened old man spoke. "I understand that Kakashi has neglected your training during these past months, but I trust that your prowess as is will be enough to comfortably destroy any opposition. I could ask Naruto-dono to spread words of our good will, but then, they'd think him biased."

"I guess then the point is moot." Sasuke shook his head, looking at Naruto.

"You think me daft if you think I left my kingdom unprotected in my absence." Naruto said.

"Zabuza?" Sakura asked, raising an eyebrow. "Did he really stick around?"

"I still can't believe you got the Demon of the Bloody Mist to swear loyalty to you." Kakashi muttered, disbelief clear in his tone. "Seriously, how does one do that?"

"You might think him a heartless monster, but is it a monster one who does everything in his power to protect one's child?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow. "He was willing to serve and I needed a servant."

"You got him to swear absolute loyalty to you, Naruto. That just doesn't happen. Ever. That's the kind of thing Samurai do, not Ninja." Explained Kakashi, clearly finding the whole thing quite ridiculous, even as he spoke failing to believe something that to a ninja was just absurd.

Naruto merely smirked, that infuriating smirk of his that always caused everyone around him to want to punch him squarely in the face, turned around and walked away, buttoning up his shirt as he did. "Perhaps it takes a traitor to understand the value of loyalty?" Asked Naruto, looking at the group over his shoulder, stopping for but an instant to say his line and then continue.

Sarutobi merely shook his head, clearly amused with the genin's antics.

"Sometimes, I just think he's nuts." Sasuke said, shrugging. "Other times, I'm completely sure he's nuts."

Sakura smiled and let herself laugh a little. "It's a nice kind of crazy, though. Much better than when he's an annoying jerkass."

"Coming from you, that has to mean something." Retorted the Uchiha.

Sakura didn't look happy about it.

Pride of a Conman

It was rare for anyone to be allowed into the Uchiha Compound. The current clan head of the Uchiha, a boy no older than twelve by the name of Sasuke, had said that anyone caught wandering into the Uchiha compound unauthorized would be dealt with promptly and with extreme prejudice. When he'd been little, the backing of the Hokage had kept just about everyone but those with enough political, economical and social clout to be capable of being more than a passing annoyance to Sarutobi, and the boogeyman known as 'Itachi' kept the three people who COULD make a move on the Uchiha survivors away.

Sasuke absolutely hated his older brother. However, many people misinterpret the reason why the Uchiha Clan Head hated his elder brother. Indeed, most would think it was either the famous massacre that decimated the Uchiha clan (it was funny how it reduced a clan of eight hundred to eighty), or that it'd be the alleged torture that he'd managed to squeeze in while he was doing it through Genjutsu.

They'd be wrong.

Uchiha Sasuke loathed Uchiha Itachi because the latter had been an absolute idiot who couldn't think forward three steps. Most would then ask why the massacre didn't rate as high as the lack of foresight, at which point Sasuke would very easily counter with a very simple fact.

His clan was almost entirely populated by assholes. Even the ones that were seemingly nice at first glance were assholes when you looked a bit further down. Even the guy who sold those delicious dumplings was a price-gouging dick cheese. And Sasuke hated each and every single one of them. He hated his parents, too, because they'd gotten this stupid idea that their children would be driven to excel if they were pitted against each other and thus always spoke praises of the other in their presence.

The Uchiha Clan had only cared about power, and it was only hilarious that the strongest ninja they'd ever produced was the one who wiped them all out. Sasuke? He had a grander vision. He was not as short sighted as the morons who believed that strength was the only thing that mattered. The Uchiha Clan had been systematically driven into a corner because of their incredible ineptitude when it came to politics.

The village had seen it fitting to take advantage of the clan that had been half responsible for it, and if Sasuke spoke the truth, he would admit that he would've done the exact same thing in their position. He made a living out of cheating people out of their money, after all, and the entire reason the currently almost-extinct Uchiha Clan was still kept a float on a genin's mission pay was because Sasuke was a financial genius…

… and a conman of the highest caliber.

He'd sold bridges, he'd sold people their own homes, he'd convinced someone they had to pair an air tax, he actually charged people for using his tragic backstory as an inspirational speech and he'd somehow found a way to squeeze every concession and exemption that he could from the village.

He'd used that money to make investments, to purchase businesses and work them from the ground up, making them as efficient and productive as he possibly could, increasing their value astronomically and then sold them, conveniently failing to tell the buyer that the massive increase in productivity needed considerable micromanaging to maintain and that it was unlikely that they were as good as him at it.

They didn't ask and he wasn't willing to tell them on his own initiative.

And sometimes, he wondered if his effort was worth it. Maintaining such a large compound was not an easy task by any means, and being the clan head of a bunch of children who aren't yet mature enough to stop being selfish little shits long enough to think about the greater good was even harder. He was forced to depend on the massive amounts of income he kept flowing into his bank account to keep ANBU on retainer at all times to ensure his charges' safety.

There was always someone trying to kidnap an Uchiha to use as breeding stock. There was always someone trying to help the clan's extinction along. The kids' parents were no longer there to urge them to become shinobi, and if not enough of them completed their tenure at the academy for whatever reason, the Uchiha Clan would lose most of its privileges, and there was just no way Sasuke was gonna let shit like that fly.

So he'd made damn sure to hire nannies who were retired ninja. Luckily, they were still young enough to keep up with ninja children, which wasn't all that surprising given that ninja retired at age thirty… and while it was uncommon for them to survive to that age in most villages, in Konoha the life expectancy for a shinobi was a much more comfortable thirty five, which allowed many to retire before their lifestyle caught up to them.

Being able to trust your teammates with your life at all times helps.

Freaks of nature like the Third Hokage who lived past his sixth decade as an active duty shinobi notwithstanding, of course. Those tend to skew the charts.

The entire point of the exercise was to steer the children towards the shinobi lifestyle without them knowing he was doing so. Their nannies being able to help them with their academy problems without needing his interference was a bonus that he wouldn't deny.

It was common to see Sasuke, when he was in the clan compound, pouring over old documents trying to find ways to squeeze more benefit out of ancient deals that the Uchiha had mishandled terribly (the clan had a history of rampant stupidity in its leadership, up to and including the morons that thought that four hundred active duty shinobi, ninety percent of which were undertrained police chunin, would be able to face a village that could deploy no less than ten times that in a heartbeat and win) or otherwise trying his darnedest to make sure the clan's finances remained in black ink.

Therefore, that was the way that his teammates found him when they went to pick him up on the morning of the day they would attend the first round of the Chunin Exams.

Sakura had said nothing, most likely she already knew of what Sasuke did in his nonexistent free time. He couldn't care less what she thought about it, he had enough people bothering him about how he should delegate already. He did delegate. The unimportant side jobs that could be delegated.

Some things he just had to do himself, to make damn sure they were done right.

Naruto's response had been strange. He'd had a strange, almost frightening smile in his face. As if he'd just found something that was way more amusing than it should have been, and it was tearing him up inside to hold himself back from laughing. Which was damn rare, usually Naruto gave zero shits about hurting people's feelings. The thing he'd done the most during their time together at the academy was put his classmates down, after all.

He figured that Naruto was saving all the ribbing potential that this new bit of information he'd learned would give him, because he'd always seemed like the kind of dick who would do that. Even when he was being nice, Naruto was an absolute dick about it. It took talent to be a dick that way.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at his teammates' intrusion into his office and closed the book he was reading from, detailing a myriad old transactions that he had revised and archived. It never hurt to have another look, see if there was something you'd missed.

"Let's go." Sakura said, turning around and walking out.

"I've always wondered why you seem to be in financial trouble no matter how much money you steal, thief." Naruto stated, smirking. "Perhaps I misjudged you in thinking you incapable of properly managing your assets."

Well, wasn't that odd. He was admitting to one of his mistakes and doing so in a relatively non-dickish way. Every day can bring a surprise, but some just stretch disbelief too far to be anything other than a dream. Considering it was either to remain in blissful sleep or return to a reality where he'd have to put up with Naruto for the rest of the day, he decided he had time for a little nap.

Most insults rolled off him, some he took as compliments, but there was one thing he'd never let anyone insult, not even the blond jerkass.

Nobody fucked with Sasuke's ability to handle money.

He was the best there was at it, and don't you dare imply otherwise.

They Grow So Fast

Nobody had seen the two ninja going in. Even though Naruto had made it a point to stride calmly and confidently, nobody had been there to impede his way in. The way out, however, was totally different, as someone had noticed that their beloved 'Sasuke-niisan!' was going out accompanied by the two weirdest people they'd ever seen. Mostly because, given how they all looked similar, they were probably used to dark colors, mostly blacks, blues and leather browns, and thus the bright coloring of their hair was a complete novelty.

As was Naruto's impractical choice of dress, most likely, since his pants alone were probably worth more than their collective wardrobe. Naruto wore very fine clothing, after all (which only made it all that satisfying to tear them).

"Oh! Kiiroi-niisan! Kiiroi-niisan! You came back!"

Or maybe Naruto's ridiculously expensive clothing wasn't what had caught their attention. Suddenly, all eyes were upon Naruto, who seemed to be perfectly in his elements amidst a huge crowd of children that came in a wide range of sizes, ages and genders. None of them was above nine, however. Sasuke and Sakura were utterly and completely shocked when he just sat down and didn't mind the children's antics whatsoever. Considering that most of them seemed completely used to their presence…

"… Naruto what is this I don't even-" Sasuke began, shock impeding his usual calm tone.

"What?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and directing a red eye towards Sasuke. "I like children." He said, simply, shrugging.

"… Do you need a job? I could always use someone trustworthy to look after the brats when I'm busy." Sasuke said, clearly not caring at all about the shock that still kept Sakura frozen and instead jumping at the opportunity. Then again, he cursed himself when he realized that Naruto was already dropping in every once in a while anyway, for free. The blond would likely ask for some sort of ridiculous thing in return for his service.

Then again, there was one thing he was very likely to ask.

"A job?" Asked Naruto, sounding faintly amused by something. "There is an easier way to come under my protection, mongrel, you know this. My protection does not extend merely to threats of the violent kind. I had already a thought in mind to make this offer to you, after witnessing your ability to take over some tasks that I'd rather delegate."

Sasuke actually thought about this. Naruto had shown the ability to procure money out of nowhere. In fact, Naruto was filthy rich and never seemed to run out of money. He had a ridiculously nice penthouse to live in despite his salary as a genin along with mission pay being nowhere near enough to provide for such a place.

He had a live in maid who was training her son to become yet another one of his vassals.

And nevermind that he owned a country, too.

"You know what?" Sasuke began, smirking. "I might just accept it."

"Is that some sort of ability I need to find another counter to?" Sakura asked, suddenly. "Because seriously, I have learned more styles to counter you guys than I have actually learned for general use." She said, dryly.

Naruto laughed as one of the children finished telling him a rather long story of how the Uchiha Brats had managed to convince the populace of Konoha that the vengeful ghost of the Fourth Hokage was protecting them, ignoring Sakura which caused her to just roll her eyes at the sight.

"We have to hurry, or we'll be late." The pinkette informed.

"Though now I know where the soccer field came from." Sasuke admitted, referring to the Uchiha's private soccer field that had one day just appeared right the hell out of nowhere. Had caused a bit of an uproar about the Uchiha Children having future in architecture.

"By the way, how's Tazuna doing?" Asked Sakura.

"Well, he's still trying to map out the ridiculously intricate and complex array of pipes necessary to give the Uchiha houses indoor plumbing. We're remaking the compound from scratch since whoever made it was clearly drunk off their ass."

Then they turned to see as Naruto was, without a care in the world, playing tag with a bunch of children. "I still can't believe it, and I'm looking at it. I never thought I'd see Naruto reduce himself to this level."

"Well, he wasn't mean to Inari back in Wave, so I kinda suspected that he might have a soft spot for children." Sasuke said, shrugging. "Didn't think he was the 'Kiiroi-niisan' that the kids always spoke of."

"And you never investigated some stranger dropping in to play with the kids?" Sakura asked, raising a pink eyebrow and looking at Sasuke like she'd just lost a lot of respect for him.

"I have ANBU guards posted at key spots in the compound. If they can't figure out who's hostile and who isn't, then there is absolutely no chance that I would figure it out either." Sasuke stated, adjusting his brown jacket and patting a few pockets. "Anyway, I've got everything on me."

"Hey jackass, come on, we're going!" Sakura yelled.

Naruto proceeded to calm the protesting children like only someone far more used to dealing with them should be able to and Team 7 then parted towards the Academy Building, which was now used to host the Chunin Exams' first round.

Foreign Ninja? In My Village? Preposterous!

Kankuro was not having a good day. He was outside of Suna, so his reputation as an experienced and skilled puppeteer did not precede him. Nor did his reputation as the son of the Kazekage. He was in Konoha, where he was a non entity at best and a foreign ninja to most. At worst, and most annoying, he was 'that makeup wearing freak'. It made him want to gut each and every Konoha civilian he'd encountered.

How was it makeup? Seriously! It wasn't! It was war paint. If it were makeup, it'd be grossly misapplied and just tasteless in both color and design. Just because he painted his face to enhance the effect of one of his specialties, he had to deal with the annoying side effects. It was just something he'd have to put up with in order to employ his favored tactic.

If only he didn't need to paint his face to hide the tell-tale signs that would be obvious to a shinobi when he switched places with his puppet, he wouldn't need to put up with this bullshit.

He should have just done like Temari and gone for an specialization in something simpler, like elemental jutsu. Or poison. He was good with poison. But then, that lead him into puppetry, and the Honorable Sibling Chiyo had actually complimented him on his talent for puppetry once, which was such an once-in-a-lifetime event that he'd eventually made it his bread and butter. Even if he was, admittedly, nowhere near as good as the legendary Sasori of the Red Sands was at his age.

This day was particularly getting worse since a little kid had just crossed the line of his temper. He wasn't one to fly off the handle easily, but when an entire Hidden Village makes it a point to test his patience, well, there's only so much a man can take. The kid was obviously a bratty half pint who'd never been put in his place properly.

So when he'd called him Makeup Wearing Freak, twice in a row, Kankuro finally snapped. His hand shot towards the top of the kid's head and with a mighty pull, he'd lifted the kid, put him in a headlock and was in the process of giving him a harsh knockin' on the noggin', well, one or two, same difference. "Respect your elders you damn brat!" Kankuro spoke, voice dripping the anger accumulated from an entire day of putting up with conceited idiots.

"Kankuro, just let go of the kid." Temari said, rolling her eyes. "You just look like a moron doing that."

"Y-Yeah! Listen to the pretty lady!" The brown haired little boy yelled.

"Hey! Leave Konohamaru alone!" The orange haired girl that accompanied the brat yelled, getting nods of agreement from the boy with the runny nose next to her.

Kankuro just growled and tossed the kid carelessly. The brat landed on his feet, but he was unsteady and thus fell to his butt soon after, crying out in pain over it.

"Don't you know who I am!?" Konohamaru yelled, tears leaking out of his eyes.

"No, and I don't care brat. Get lost, now!" Kankuro was evidently quite upset at how the world seemed to be hell bent on making him its bitch for the day.

"Wow. Picking on kids, I hope you feel better about yourself." Came a sudden, clearly feminine voice.

"Cut him a break, Sakura. It's Konohamaru, you'd punch him too." Another, clearly amused but male voice interjected.

"Well, it's true." The first voice again, probably this Sakura person.

The attention of both Suna nin and the three kids snapped to the wall that separated the property behind it from the street. In it, a pink haired girl wearing what Kankuro had to admit was a pretty sensible choice of wear for a fighter and a boy who looked more like a thief than a ninja were seated, looking down on them.

"Oh, don't mind us, we're just enjoying the show." The boy stated, absent mindedly munching on a bag of chips that he'd pulled out of… somewhere Kankuro couldn't tell.

"Who are you guys?" Temari asked, sounding bored at best.

"Just genin heading to the exam. Though it makes me wonder why you two are on your own. Shouldn't you be, I dunno, accompanied by your sensei while in Konoha?"

"No, that's just when we aren't allied." Sasuke corrected her. He knew because he'd once asked why he never saw the foreign shinobi on their own, why they were always accompanied by adults and other things. "Anyway, we're going to the building you're supposed to go to. Come with us and we'll show you the way."

What he didn't tell them was that he would charge them for it, and take the payment without them realizing. He was a ninja, they lie a lot. This was why he loved foreign teams. They didn't know his reputation! Though it hadn't always been this easy. It wasn't anywhere near easy a few years back.

Back then, he wasn't good enough to pick the pockets of jounin, or sneak a con past them, so he'd had to try his hardest to isolate the foreign genin before robbing them blind. These days, he could bump into a jounin and steal his underwear, so it was a non issue. Female jounin underwear sold pretty well, though it was impressively hard to get.

Particularly considering Konoha's kunoichi had figured out that someone was stealing their underwear.

It might not be dignified, but it was lucrative, and that was all that mattered.

"We decline." A rather calm and slow voice spoke, startling everyone. "I trust that my siblings have not been making a nuisance of themselves."

"G-Gaara." Kankuro almost choked, seeing the face that was upon the new arrival's face. The boy had appeared in the middle of the street with a swirl of sand, an instant before his voice had been heard.

The redhead with teal eyes crossed his arms and glared at the two on the wall… or rather, he simply looked at them. The way his eyes were didn't seem to be a product of any conscious effort. That was just his normal face. Sasuke chuckled. "That's okay, then." He said, clearly unaffected by the intimidating aura that had all but his teammate edging away from the redhead.

All of a sudden, a wave of sheer terror seemed to wash over Gaara, whose face quickly morphed into a look of horror. "M-Mother is… afraid!? What… What could possibly frighten Mother!?" He mumbled to himself, frantic enough to forget to make it inaudible to all but himself, as he looked around.

There was a sound not unlike very expensive shoes hitting the street, a sound that was the only thing heard beside the sound of Gaara's sand shuffling madly. "It seems I have found a rabid raccoon." Spoke a calm, smooth voice. The blond haired boy that appeared from one of the ends of the small alley the entire exchange was taking place in was clearly something else.

It is rare for ninja to dress in expensive clothing. It is exceedingly rare for genin to do so. After all, ninja only spent a big deal of money on their clothes if they were absolutely sure that said clothes would be able to withstand combat. Usually, even when they were going for something fancy they never neglected the practical part.

It was just not a shinobi thing to do.

Unless you were either immensely arrogant or immensely powerful. You could only get away with dressing fancy if you were powerful enough to not make it a disadvantage.

Kankuro and Temari were instantly on guard, his ability to frighten Gaara just by his presence meant that they weren't dealing with an ordinary shinobi. If they had to make a guess, the kid probably had some sort of freakish bloodline. They both knew that Konoha was famous for them and for the famously messed up experiments Orochimaru conducted in the Leaf before he was unceremoniously kicked out.

Temari blinked, finding herself blushing at the sight of the blond's unbuttoned shirt of the finest silk. This wasn't natural. His body couldn't possibly be natural. Had to be a freakish experiment, because she was absolutely certain that she didn't like annoying, arrogant fucks like the kid in front of her seemed to be. She liked the cold, calm badass type, yeah, but the kid only marginally filled that part.

"W-Wh-Who are you… to frighten Mother like this…"

The boy laughed uproariously.

"He must be some sort of monster." Kankuro concluded, frightened of someone who could scare Gaara this easily.

"Monster? I am no monster. I am Uzumaki Naruto, you'd do well to remember it."

The blond boy walked past them, leaving all three of the Suna genin frozen to their spots. His team members shrugged and followed after him.

Kankuro realized he was sweating under the attention of the blond. For some reason, the mere thought of seeing him again frightened to his core, and a glance at Temari confirmed that she was feeling the same way.

If Konoha had these sorts of monsters as genin, then their invasion plan was even more ill advised than he originally thought…

"These chunin exams are gonna be really fun." Kankuro heard the pinkette say as the trio started to get too far to keep discerning their features perfectly.

"Lucrative, too." the black haired boy said, twirling something on his right hand. Something that was pink.

Minutes later, Temari would notice that someone had taken her underwear. When she saw a lecherous old man sniffing her panties in public. And of course, she beat him nearly to death with her fan.