A/N: this chapter is voiced by Lenalee. This chapter's theme song is by Sia, "Breathe Me".

There are no words for what I felt.

I had rushed in to help Lavi against an Akuma and an Eraser when I saw Max about to be killed. Allen was on it, so I could still help Lavi. But he had been pinned by a huge Eraser, and kicked by another. I saw the blood, even though he was halfway across the clearing; I felt the pain.

Dropping on the Akuma made me feel somewhat better, the feeling I could avenge my friend. But the Eraser… he was in for it. Kicking him, I punched that idiot in the face. I recoiled, and let loose with another punch. He grabbed my wrist and swung me onto the ground.

I had distantly heard Lavi's shout of "Lenalee!" when my head cracked against the ground. My breath had been knocked from my body, paralyzing me so I couldn't fight back. I had to watch as the Eraser slammed into Lavi, knocking him off balance and swinging his fist into Lavi's side.

Struggling to my knees, I saw Kanda rush an Eraser who had turned toward me. His sword went cleanly through the wolf-man's chest. That shriek hurt my ears, but I'd live. These monsters had hurt my friends…

My family.

Kanda grabbed my arms and helped me to my feet. Tears stung my eyes, but I couldn't cry. Not here. "Thanks," was all I could manage.

His sweet, storm-blue eyes lit slightly, the way they only did for me. A dull thud sounded and Kanda fell forward, onto the ground in front of my feet. I hadn't ever thought that could happen; Kanda had always been impossibly strong, no one could hurt him…

I felt myself break.

Everything was distant, and I couldn't focus. I dimly remember screaming. I didn't realize I had been hurt by an Eraser until I saw the blood pooling near my eyes, but I think I might've killed him for holding me back as my Kanda was taken from me.

Was this me?

Something was wrong.

Had I… finally broken?

No. No way.

There are no words for that feeling.

Everything was numb.

I had watched as the flock flew off after the black car, toward a helicopter. I had seen Lavi help Allen to his feet, and dragged him over to where I sat. My face hurt where I had been scratched because of the tears flowing into the cuts.

I don't remember what happened until we were back in the flock's home. That part was blurred out.

I sat with Lavi, my back to the wall. I felt like death. No, actually, I think I'd rather take death than this.

How many times had I lost people I loved? All of them combined didn't even begin to cover what I was feeling.

"Lenalee," Lavi moved into my line of sight. I kind of raised my head. "Do you need anything?"

What a stupid question. I should've gotten mad, but I couldn't. My emotional capacity was too small to hold anything but shock and sorrow.

God, please make this end.

The flock rolled in after what felt like years. The first thing that Iggy did was violently sweep Angel's breakfast plate off the table. His arm hit a mug, and it flew into Fang's head with a thunk. I had to look away from Max's face. That look probably mirrored mine; impossible to look at. I felt a fresh wave of tears flow down my now-patched cheeks.

"Watch it, idiot!" Fang yelled at Iggy, an intent to kill under the words. He suddenly seemed to realize what he had said, and clenched his teeth.

Max started crying when the shouting began. I curled into a tiny ball on the floor. Lavi put a gentle arm around my shoulders and shhed me. I couldn't look up at anyone right now. I simply listened to everything… anything.

"You watch it!" came Iggy's shout in reply. "What happened? I mean, you guys can see, can't you? Why couldn't you get Angel?!"

"They had a chopper!" Gazzy yelled. "And guns! And those Akuma thingies! We're a lot of things, but we're not bulletproof!"

"Easy!" Allen had said, and max had yelled out "Guys! Guys! We're all upset. But we're not the enemy. They are."

I looked up at those words. I felt a doubt lurking in my heart, the way it did when I thought about whether or not I was actually fighting for the better of the world or not. The Akuma and the Noah weren't their battle; why had they gotten involved?

There was silence for a long time while Max thought. Iggy was comforting Nudge on the couch.

"Take deep breaths," Gazzy had told Max, looking concerned. It was adorable, I'd admit. Max looked close to tears. Fang was silent as he ate something from a can.

"You know, if they wanted to kill her, or all of us, they could've." Nudge said shakily. "They had guns."

"And Akuma." Allen added. "Akuma are built only to kill people."

"Yeah, they wanted Angel alive. They didn't care if we were alive or not, but they didn't go out of their way to make sure we were dead. So maybe we have time to go after Angel."

"But they had a chopper." Gazzy said. "They're gone. They could be anywhere. Like, in China, or something."

I almost laughed out loud. The bitter irony. We lost Allen for a while back in China. I had lost my family in China. I had been separated from my brother in China. How perfect would it be if they had been taken to China. "I don't think they're in China." Max told him.

"I know where they took them." Fang said. I realized with a start it was the first time anyone had acknowledged the fact that Kanda was gone, too.

"And where's that?" Iggy asked raising his head. His blind eyes were bloodshot from unshed tears.

"The School." Fang and Max said at the same time.

Even us Exorcists knew about that place. It had been in the reports, but we hadn't thought it mattered.

Everyone in the flock reacted as if they had seen a snake. A really big snake.

"They took Angel back to the school? Why?" Gazzy asked, fear on his face.

"I thought they forgot about us!" Nudge almost wailed.

"Jeb took us without permission, remember?" Max asked.

"Jeb knew they would do anything to get us back. If anyone discovered what they did to us, it would be the end of the School." Fang explained.

"Apparently they'd even get the Millennium Earl's services." Lavi said softly.

"Why don't we, like, go tell on them?" Nudge demanded. "We could go to a TV station and tell everyone and say, Look, they grew wings on us, and we're just little kids, and-"

"Okay that would fix them," Iggy interrupted. "But we'd end up in a zoo."

"What are we gonna do, then?" Gazzy asked, panicking. Fang got up and got some old papers from a different room. They were yellowed and looked nibbled.

"Here," Fang said, pushing the papers to Max. Allen got up, and Lavi followed him. Wiping off any tears on my face, I pushed myself upward. Amazed I could still walk, I joined the group. Fang popped open a wax seal on an envelope.

"What is that?" Gazzy asked.

"A map of a secret society, in California. The School." Max said tightly. "We're going to go rescue Angel."

"Yeah!" Nudge exclaimed. "'Coz, you know, we can't let those evil people keep her. They're monsters. They're gonna do bad things to her. Hurt her. But there's five of us, so the rest of us have to go get hmph-"

Max had her hand around Nudge's mouth. Nudge peeled the fingers away. "So, uh, how far is it?"

"Six hundred miles, or so." Fang replied. "At least a seven hour flight."

"But you also have to factor in the fact that we, uh, Allen and I can't fly. Lenalee can in a weird way." I resisted the urge to punch him. "So, um, six hundred miles by car, or trains would be more efficient…"

"You Exorcists are staying here. Along with Gazzy and Iggy." Max said with finality. "Fang, Nudge, and I will go to get Angel."

"What?!" Allen and Gazzy yelled in unison.

"That's my sister you're talking about!"

"What about the Akuma?"

"This is because I'm blind, right?!" Iggy cried.

"Iggy, you're great around here when you know where everything is, but having you in a new place will be bad if we get in fight." Max said, trying to calm him down. "And Gazzy, we'll be going major miles. You're only eight years old."

"Jeb wouldn't have made us stay," Iggy snarled. "Never."

"Maybe not, but we'll never know."

"Uhm, Max?" I finally found my voice. It was rough. "If you do run into Akuma, you'll need somebody with an Innocence to help out. Like Lavi said, I can fly in the loosest definition of the word."

She pressed her lips together. I knew how she felt; it seemed like I was often relied on to keep my head in situations like these. Be strong. Invincible.

Finally, she sighed. "It makes sense. But the rest of you are staying! Now get your gear together."

We took off, leaving behind the house on the mountain. I wondered if it was selfish of me to go with Fang and Max and Nudge, when I knew it wasn't for the Akuma.

It was for my heart.

A/N: yeah! Done! Now the excitement comes! Woot! Anyway, I'm still debating many things. So if I don't update for a couple of weeks, it's because of a writer's block. But I'll warn you before I go on a hiatus. I'm also working on another fic right now (Black Lace) so if I hit a writer's block, I'll most likely be updating that one. Not that you have to read it. Review?