"So we are alone

And we are together for just this once.

I'll go on pretending I don't care,

But I'm asking you nicely to stand here beside me."

The Ocean, Tokyo Police Club

…

Percy watches Nico rush out of the bedroom, forgetting to breathe until the door has slammed shut. Never one to process things quickly, he stands up, his head spinning. Did Nico just… wow, okay then. He replays the last sixty seconds in his head, realizing belatedly that a smarter person would have followed the kid. Nico's not exactly… predictable with his behavior. Unstable.

Just as Percy takes a step forward towards his bedroom door, he hears the front door slam. Sure, he'd not been planning to sleep tonight, but he'd also not been planning to chase a barefoot fifteen year old around town. A barefoot fifteen year old who, as of last week, Percy was convinced hated him. A barefoot fifteen year old who had just kissed him. Weird.

Though Nico's quick on his feet, he's also sick. He's likely to run for a few minutes, then hide. This means that Percy has a chance to think ahead for what he needs to grab, such as Nico's shoes, a pair of his own socks, water, a blanket, etc. As he frantically shoves everything in a backpack, he begins to process what's just happened. He's unsure how he feels about it, really. The fact that he doesn't feel bad about it freaks him out a little.

He also wonders how long Nico's felt this way. Was this an impulsive act? If not, how did the kid transition from being bitter over Bianca's death to wanting to shove his tongue down Percy's throat? Not that it'd gotten that far, but still. He finds it hard to believe that the Nico he knows has any feelings for him whatsoever.

In spite of all logic, Percy feels a heat in his cheeks. He's confused, yeah. He needs a few minutes to process before putting words to his feelings. Still, as he slings his backpack over his shoulder and heads out the door, he feels a perplexing excitement stirring up in his chest.

…

Nico skips the sidewalk entirely, opting to cut through the neighborhood lawns and climb over fences. His body aches, but he's able to ignore it for the moment being. He can deal with pain, just not Percy. He can't believe his own lack of self control.

He finds his thoughts circling back to it, though. Before the dread and guilt settles in, he feels an excitement stirring up in his core. The idea of "what if." Kissing Percy felt something like collapsing in bed after two days of not sleeping, but knowing he has to be awake for school exams in ten minutes. He's gotten a taste of what he wants (literally) and he so badly wants to say "fuck it" and dive in headfirst. The more logical side of him, though, tells him to run.

He lasts a good five minutes before he's forced to stop. Resting his hands on his knees, he bends over and coughs. Nico's lightheaded. His vision is splotchy and he nearly topples over. His panic is only eased by the assumption that Percy isn't following him. He's nice guy, sure, but even that has its limits. He'll consider himself lucky if Percy isn't livid.

Nico sits on the curb, coughing into his sleeve. He's cold, but no way in hell is he going back. He pulls the sleeves of Percy's shirt down as far as they'll go and leans forward, shaking. More than anything, he wants to go home, blast his music, get in bed, and forget this ever happened. He sits like this, shivering, for a good two hours. It's nearing midnight when he hears footsteps. Moments later, he feels a fleece blanket being wrapped around his shoulders.

"I get it if you need time to think before we talk, but could you at least do it someplace warm?"

No fucking way.

Nico lifts his head, staring in disbelief at Percy's silhouette against the streetlight, "God. You're almost as stubborn as I am," he hates how weak his voice sounds. He feels uncomfortably transparent.

"Is that a yes?"

He can tell by the way Percy stiffens that he's preparing himself for one of Nico's outbursts. Really, Nico's bracing himself for anger to bubble up too. It doesn't come, though. Years of extensive boundaries and defensiveness disintegrate. He's not angry or embarrassed or scared for once. He's just flat out sad.

He stands up shakily and nods, "Get out of the street, Percy," he pulls the blanket tightly around himself and starts to walk. Moments later, Percy follows.

"I hope that you didn't take that to mean that I don't want to talk, man," he laughs. Nervously, almost.

"I'm well aware that you like to talk, Jackson. But there's not much to say."

Percy appears troubled. He doesn't speak for a few moments, hesitant, "Is this why you avoid me?"

Nico shrugs and starts to walk, bare feet sore and scratched up. He's not even noticed until now that he'd not put on his shoes, "I thought I didn't have to talk about it."

Percy follows him, slipping a thermos into Nico's hand, "You don't have to, but I'm curious what's happening in your head. That's, uh, hot chocolate, by the way."

"I… I don't know," an exasperated sigh, "I should feel anxious or… scared? I'm not, though. Just sort of numb. A little confused why you're not pissed at me," Nico unscrews the cap, steam emerging from the top, followed by the sweet scent of cocoa.

"I'm not pissed. I'm… confused and worried for you. Maybe a little stressed out, if I'm being honest, here. Definitely not pissed, though."

It's silent again for a few moments. Their footsteps combine with crickets chirping. Nico's reminded with a dull ache in his chest of a night four years ago. All of Bianca's school friends had gone home but Percy, who'd always been an exception to the "no boys at sleepovers" rule his grandmother had put in place. After finding out about Gabe, the di Angelos had more or less taken him in.

Nico recalls being woken up at one in the morning by the two, proposing a scheme to sneak out and get ice cream from the McDonald's down the street. Ten minutes later, the trio was strolling down the road, singing Disney songs at the top of their lungs and waking up the neighborhood. To this day, Nico blames his first gay thoughts on Percy's off key rendition of Under the Sea. He still has video on his phone from that night. Percy's singing, his sister's laughter, his own laughter.

"For a really long time, I blamed my crush on you on just missing Bianca. Like, it felt sometimes like you and I were the only ones who knew her, you know? So I thought once I was over grieving, I'd be over you. Over… all of this," Nico sips the hot cocoa. He doesn't feel nervous, but his hands are shaking like he is, "I was just telling myself what I wanted to hear, though. I mean- Bianca knew I liked you. Obviously this was going on well before-" he sighs, "I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry. If it helps at all, you don't have to stress about turning me down. I'm well aware of your preferences. It wasn't an invitation or anything, it was just a moment of weakness for me. I'm sorry."

It's quiet for another few seconds, "That's… not why I was stressed, you know."

Nico lifts his eyes to meet Percy's, but he finds them glued to the ground, "... why are you stressed, then?"

"It'd probably be easier for both of us if I told you I had my mind made up one way or another, but I don't, man. I'm confused too. With myself, I mean."

Nico continues to stare at him, doing his damn hardest to not get his hopes up, "You…"

"I don't know," Percy admits, "I've always been someone who, um, will try anything twice, you know? But if trying something means leading someone on-" he laughs, "I don't know. It's probably pretty shitty of me to even be telling you this."

"No, I- Twice?"

"It's unfair to rule something out completely just because the first time wasn't so great. I mean- imagine if I'd sworn off kissing because my lips were chapped my first time," he laughs again, but it seems forced. Nico's never once thought of Percy as a nervous guy, but he's starting to second guess that.

Nico grips the thermos tighter, "You don't have to-" he sighs and tears his gaze away from Percy, "You don't have to be a goddamn hero all the time, remember? I know you're a people pleaser and I know for some godforsaken reason you want to make me happy but it's not your job," Nico halts his footsteps and Percy lifts his eyes to find Nico's harsh gaze.

"Maybe you're right, but, I mean… Maybe you aren't, you know?"

"Then don't make a decision now. In the meantime, I'm not going to be counting on you wanting any part of this because I know I'm right."

"I envy your confidence in me to know what I'm doing," Percy remarks, glancing at Nico's bare feet. He pauses, "How are you doing, uh, physically?"

He cackles, "Like shit. I was already feeling like passing out halfway down the staircase at your place," Nico frowns as the realization comes to him, "Am I still, um, welcome in your home or-"

"Yes. Of course," Percy frowns, "Dude, I wouldn't kick you out on the street just because you…" he clears his throat, "I think we have some tylenol in the bathroom, if you want it. Or like, a heating pad?"

"Thank you," Nico offers him a genuine smile, but somehow still manages to look like he's about to cry.

…

In the end, the two were awake until four in the morning watching movies. Nico had insisted on sleeping on the floor, though Percy told him it wasn't necessary and, at the very least, Nico should have the bed. Sally finds the boys still asleep at noon the next day, both asleep on the floor on opposite ends of the bedroom, television still on.

"I still don't understand how you didn't realize your foot was bleeding."

Nico slides into the McDonalds booth opposite to Percy, a sundae in hand, "My bad. I was a little preoccupied," he deadpans.

Percy bites into his ice cream and Nico's teeth ache in empathy, "All I'm asking is that next time you try to eat my face, you put on shoes before fleeing the scene."

He makes a face, partially embarrassed and partially disgusted, "That's the nastiest way you could have possibly said that," he defends then mutters, "It was barely a peck anyways."

"I call bullshit, but believe but what you want," before Nico has a chance to speak, Percy begins talking again, "Hey, didn't you have a doctor's appointment this morning?" Nico cringes.

"That may have been a lie to get out of going."

Percy frowns, speaking after an admittedly awkward silence, "This is pretty weird, huh?" the situation feels foreign to the both of them. Hanging out after years of not talking, then one peck on the lips and they were suddenly buddies.

"A little," Nico agrees, stirring his ice cream with a plastic spoon, "But… we used to be pretty close. I guess I'm trying to pretend that gap in our friendship didn't happen," his voice hesitates at the word "friendship" and Percy notices, but lets it go.

"Do you remember… hell, it must've been five years ago now... "

"The roadtrip," Nico interrupts, a grin on his face.

"Yes!" Percy grins back, "And when Bianca misread the map and-"

"You, of all people, should sympathize with her dyslexia. Can't say much for her geography knowledge, though..." Nico was still laughing, "I blame your mother for not realizing earlier that Bee was sending us north. Wait. Wait," Nico pulls his phone from his pocket, barely able to contain his sudden excitement, "Oh my god. I found it."

He holds up the device to reveal a photo of a barely-thirteen year old Percy in swimming trunks, standing with arms crossed and glaring at his mother behind the camera. Nico and Bianca are on either side of him, in similar attire. Behind them are clear glass panels of the hotel patio doors, a frozen lake visible behind him. The group had ended up in Wisconsin before realizing they weren't anywhere near Florida. In the end, they'd still enjoyed the trip, but it was more than a little uncomfortable walking around Chicago in January.

"Why would my mother give that picture to you?" Percy groaned, laying his head in his arms, "Why would you still have it?"

Nico shrugs, "Happy memories, I guess. Besides, that trip was one of the only times you and I hung out without anyone else. The calm before the storm, I guess you could say."

Percy takes a moment to process that before lifting his head, "You're crazy for ever being into me, you know. I'm a goddamn mess."

Nico shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant while his hands shake on his lap, "I don't think so. I mean, don't get me wrong. I've definitely got some shit gone wrong in my head, but I don't think that's one of them. Father Forgivemeforihavesinned over there would probably disagree with me," he nods to the church across the street, visible through the window, "But I've kind of gotten over that through the years."

"I didn't mean the gay part, I meant the me part," Percy rolls his eyes, but he's smiling.

"I'm not sure if low self esteem is better than bigotry, but I'll take it. Kind of out of nowhere, though. If anything, I'd say you're usually too cocky."

"Shut up," Percy bites into the cone with a crunch, smiling. If Nico weren't such a pessimist, he might notice the flush in Percy's cheeks or the way he's been looking at him all morning, like he's a riddle he's trying to solve. Or maybe he has noticed, but has been repressing any glimmer of optimism that bubbles up.

Percy, on the other hand, has been feeling optimistic all day, for the first time in a long time.