The B and B

The Struggle to Become Part One

Written By Joshua King

"I walked into that temple as naked inside as the day I was born. It seemed as if my soul's deep questions multiplied by the hour and when Grandmaster Lu Ping looked at me for the first time, I had no words to say. But when he spoke, I could almost hear the very grass outside stand at attention"

Princess Fernypoo

It was almost dark when I finally reached the top of the slope where the Shaolin Temple stood tall and threatening. My feet were sore and covered with dirt, along with bits of rock and grass. My whole body felt like a sweaty mass of pure exhaustion. With the nighttime stars out in all of their luminance, I sat down under one of the giant oaks lining the walkway leading up to the temple steps.

Sleep didn't come to me immediately, as my mind and my soul could not rest beside the army of unanswered worries and questions that were looming over me. But one peaceful thought did manage to sneak past the enemy camp.

It was my mind trying to imagine the many students who had endured the same journey that I was still crawling on. Perhaps it was one of them who had planted the trees here, knowing that future students would be appreciative of their shade and their trunks to lean upon.

By the time I allowed that thought to pass from my heart, I found myself being pulled gently into slumber. Tomorrow I would enter the temple and receive the answers I so desperately needed. I would discover myself more deeply than ever before. What I didn't know was how hard it would be or how long it would take.

The next morning, 6:00 am…

After doing the usual 'getting up in the morning' stuff, I walked towards the steps to the Shaolin Temple. Standing at the top was Grandmaster Lu Ping and he was running his fingers through his long white beard while glaring at me like a swooping hawk does at a fish leaping out of the water.

Despite my nervousness, I managed to get my legs going and I quickly scaled the stone steps and Grandmaster Lu Ping smiled slightly while turning and walking away. I knew without him needing to say anything that he wanted me to follow and so I did, making sure to keep an appropriate distance between him and myself.

We soon entered the outer courts inside and I started to feel a bit more at ease. Seeing students going to and fro with joy and calm in their strides and faces helped, but I knew that the Grandmaster had a reputation for being a hard, almost cruel, sifu. I almost wanted to think that they presented themselves to me like they did so as to fool me into a false sense of security.

Unfortunately, before I could decide which version of the truth I would believe, we had arrived at the training area. Nineteen students, in four rows of five with a space in the front center empty, stood ready to get started. I didn't even dare to make them wait any longer than necessary so I walked to the open space as quietly and humbly as possible. Grandmaster Lu Ping took his place in front of us and prepared to get started.

"As you can see students, we have a newcomer into our disciplined ranks. This is Princess Fernypoo and she comes from the Martial Arts Academy in Meridell, where she is a very accomplished disciple. I expect you to show her the same respect as you do each other. Now then…" Grandmaster Lu Ping began as I took the same stance as the others and prepared to train harder than ever before.

And that's exactly what I did, too. Muscles that hadn't been fully tested in months suddenly were awakened. My heart felt like it would shoot out of my chest, but I couldn't have been happier. This is what I wanted: a new challenge to overcome and a new experience to add to the many before…or was it just the outward, temporary display of what I really craved?"

That question haunted me as I left the class and walked around the outer courts. Sure, I had silenced the doubting looks of the other students. Maybe I had even gained a little bit of respect from my new sifu.

But it was an empty feeling to me to be respected when my very soul required something loftier. As much as I tried to cover or hide it, I didn't really desire other people looking at my list of accomplishments as much as I wanted myself to look upon them; like my life was only a lifeless attempt at proving something to myself.

As I tried to reason with these thoughts, I realized that I had walked around the outer courts at least twice without seeing its beauty and symmetry. Noticing a garden of flowers in particular, I realized how badly I needed to just shut down my mind for a while and appreciate other things.

It wasn't long before I found a quiet spot just beyond a wooden bridge to do so. The peaceful sounds of the brook running underneath the bridge, the chirping of birds, the shade provided by the tree which housed them…it was just what I needed…

Later that afternoon…

Unknown to me, two hours had passed since I had sat down and leaned against the tree to rest. It was a light tap from Grandmaster Lu Ping's cane that finally stirred me. Like he had done at the top of the steps to the temple, he smiled at me slightly and turned to walk away. I quickly gathered myself and followed him in a somewhat nervous manner.

We soon found ourselves in the inner courts; a square shaped assembly of rooms with a stadium-like center area, which was obviously there for sparring or training. Two of Lu Ping best students were practicing some of the new holds and stances we had learned earlier when Grandmaster Lu Ping and I walked inside.

They immediately stopped their sparring and bowed to my new sifu while looking at me with a slight air of offense. Not wanting to further their discomfort, I quickly took my place next to them and bowed as well. Grandmaster Lu Ping only smiled and stroked his white beard.

"You may be wondering why I brought the newcomer here, which is usually reserved for you two. I have done this because of the endeavor that you two will be embarking on in one month. If Fernypoo is willing, I will allow her to join you as she is also trying to determine meaning in her life. I think that she will find this enlightenment if she goes with you." Grandmaster Lu Ping spoke quietly as he looked directly at me.

The shock I felt was unlike anything I had ever encountered. Immediately, my mind raced with the thoughts of all that I would have to lay aside to do this, but I also knew that this opportunity had not just been placed in my reach by chance.

"I thank you for giving me this offer and the time to meditate on what it will require of me. There are a few friends of mine which I will have to tell of this, but I will reach a decision within the month." I spoke humbly as I bowed again to the Grandmaster and departed for the safety of the outer courts.

Again my mind raced with thoughts and it was all I could do to keep them in order. I had always assumed that my desire to recreate myself would be a constant process, but I never dreamed that it would take such a violent turn. Was I really ready to just leave my current life behind to do this?

The thought that the running of the bed and breakfast would have to leave my hands and enter Kanrik and Mariko's care scared me the most. Hannah would be there of course, but she didn't know how to run the financial side of things like me. Mariko knew some things, but would she be able to adjust from just helping with the books to doing it all herself?

As the afternoon turned into night, I decided that sleep would be my best ally. All of the stress of the day had tired me to the point that I couldn't think anymore. I had little trouble finding the dormitories and my room was clearly marked. So tired was I that I barely noticed how nice the room looked and how tidy my bed was. Only one thought remained in my head as I turned in for the night and it was the scariest of all: how would I be able to break the news to Hannah?