CHAPTER 3:
December 25th
Emma's Christmas eve was, well, particularly normal for Emma but not for anyone who really celebrates Christmas. She had spent it binge-watching the most un-Christmas-y movies she could (which usually turns to a horror movie marathon), ordering pizza, and then going to bed as late as she can just to spite the Santa Claus she knows doesn't exist. He never brought her presents as a kid, and he sure as heck isn't bringing her presents now.
She mostly spends the alone time thinking back on the past weeks, her mind lingering on her time with Killian. Besides being a self-proclaimed pirate, Emma also learnt that he is a complete and total nerd. The Harry Potter exhibit was amazing – taking Emma back to when she was a child and escaped into the books and imagine she was going to school with Harry. To be there though – it was absolutely amazing. Killian of course forced her to buy a sweater and wand, then went behind her back to buy the matching robe set as well. He had already come dressed in one, and thus told Emma she needed to "match". And how could Emma really say no, when Killian said this was going to be her Christmas present from him? Killian was also a wealth of knowledge on Harry Potter, telling her tidbits and facts that Emma pretended not to know, and a few she really didn't.
Not really wanting to, Emma did leave Killian to have Christmas Eve with his family, but had made a promise to go to his Christmas Day Night party prior to leaving early the next morning. And, to be honest, Emma spent a lot of her Christmas Eve daydreaming about said party and things that may or may not occur at them. Particularly things involving mistletoe and her mistletoe hat. Which, she had to bring as Killian has some weird scheme to finally get a bunch of his friends together.
For anyone else this would be a pretty depressing Christmas Eve – but for Emma, it is just proof of how far she came and how she knows she is stronger than the people who tried to break her as a kid (she hopes).
Christmas day is another story, as it is filled with holiday cheer! Emma sleeps in late then spends the afternoon skyping with Mary Margaret and David as they open their presents (including the ones for Emma that she promises to come pick up once she is back in the states). She tries to field off questions from Mary Margaret about Killian, but fails miserably.
"So you two have been spending a lot of time together, haven't you?" Mary Margaret asks, a knowing gleam in her eye as she does.
"I guess?" Emma says, trying to sound nonchalant as she bites into the green and red iced bear claw she grabbed from a nearby bakery. "I mean, we shot some videos together, if that's what you mean…"
Mary Margaret isn't buying it though. "I didn't see any videos of you guys at the bar together, or at the Harry Potter exhibit, or a bunch of the photos you both posted on Instagram this past week. I doubt half of those will see the light of Youtube."
"Okay, so, yeah, we've been hanging out."
David's face cuts into frame, his voice darker than normal. "I don't like this guy, Emma. He goes around pretending to be a pirate, he acts like he is king of the world. I don't want you spending time with him."
Emma rolls her eyes at her friend. "Who are you, my father? I don't need you policing who I spend time with! Besides, when the pirate mask comes off Killian is pretty nice."
"You think he's more than nice," Mary Margaret sing songs, only to be shoved lightly by her husband.
"I… I don't!" Emma stammers, but by the way her face is heating up she knows her blush is betraying her words.
"Are you seeing him again before you fly home tomorrow?" Mary Margaret asks.
Before Emma can reply, David coughs out a "I don't wanna know", causing both girls to break out into laughter.
"He's having this big holiday party for his friends and family on his boat, hosted by him and his brother. One of his friends is picking me up later so we can go together." Emma replies, avoiding eye contact through the computer screen.
Mary Margaret lets out a squeal, while David lets out a triumphant laugh.
"Why are you so excited David? I thought you didn't want me seeing him anymore?"
David smirks across the screen, "Well, if he is sending a friend, that must mean he is trying to set you up. Which means no pirate for Emma."
"What kind of friends do you think a pirate has?" Emma replies, letting out a laugh as she sees the colour drain from David's face. "Oh, and his friend in question? Female. Her name is Elsa, she is apparently his accountant's sister in law. Won't know anyone other than her family there, and thus Killian thought it would be nice for us both to have someone else to chat with."
Mary Margaret nudges David in the shoulder. "See? He's a good pirate! Looking out for Emma to make sure she has people to talk to!"
"It's not talking I'm worried about Emma doing," David mumbles. But both girls hear, and both girls let out a big laugh.
"David, don't worry. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. Besides, I'm going to have more fun watching other people kiss than getting kissed myself. I'm apparently bringing my mistletoe hat as part of a scheme to get a few different people at the party together. So, that'll be interesting?"
"Sounds lovely, Emma!" Mary Margaret says, just as David mutters, "Just don't use it on yourself."
They chat for another twenty minutes or so, Emma watching her friends finish opening their presents, before Mary Margaret announces that they should begin getting ready for a Christmas Day brunch with her step-mother.
Emma bids them farewell, then spends the next hour or so editing footage from her Harry Potter adventure with Killian. She is enjoying reliving the day, watching the excitement on her face. But something in the back of one of the clips catches her eye.
The clip shows a sweeping view of the great hall – starting at Emma's awed face then scanning around before returning to her reaction. The room is magnificent, but what is even more magnificent is how, while she and everyone else in the scene is looking at the room around them, Killian's eyes are staring at Emma. He has a look of awe just as much as everyone else, then a small smile begins to form on his face. Before Emma can hold on to that look, though, it disappears, Killian beginning to talk and draw her attention away from the awe of the room.
Emma rewinds the tape, and pauses it, getting a truly good look at Killian. Even though he is looking at her in the past, looking at her in the video, she feels her face heat up now. No one has ever looked at her that way – that she is something precious. Well, at least that Emma knows. But it doesn't seem like a look that Walsh, or *shudders* Neal, would have used when looking at Emma. It was usually a more patronizing smile, a smile an adult might use on a child. But Killian – he is looking at Emma like she is the only thing he can see, like they aren't standing in a room surrounded by their childhoods.
Quickly, Emma saves the video and closes out of the program. She doesn't want to have these feelings, doesn't want to have her face heat up thinking about Killian. It is hard already wanting to keep a long-distance friendship – she can't start thinking about starting anything else up with Killian. He lives in London, she lives in Storybrooke. It won't work. No matter how many nights she's dreamt about him since arriving, or how many times she's laughed when out with him, or how many times shes seen something funny on youtube late at night and wanted to show him. It just won't.
But… when has that ever mattered for Emma? She can still have fun, right? Still flirt with him, and enjoy the evening, and just see what happens on a romantic Christmas boat-party, right?
Emma shakes her head, trying to get the images of something more out of there so she can enjoy the now that she is living. It is already 4pm, and Elsa is coming for her at 6:30, so she probably should start thinking about dinner and her outfit for the night and, if she is being honest, something other than Killian Jones for at least five minutes. This was supposed to be a holiday to get thoughts of Walsh out of her head and well, Emma is surprised how well this plan worked.
Now if she can make it through this night without making a fool of herself in front of all of Killian's friends and family, that would be great! As long as there are no pirate kidnappings, Emma should be golden!
Once again Killian has surprised Emma – this time in his ability to find amazing people. Elsa is wonderful – quite shy, but her personality has a tenacity beneath the stillness that Emma grasps on to. They click instantly, and halfway to the docks they are already exchanging information to stay in contact, fifteen minutes still left in the tube ride.
The only hiccup in the plan was the mistletoe hat – Emma doesn't really have a way to hide it from Elsa, and doesn't know if Elsa is one of the people Killian is wanting to use it on, so she just holds the hat in all it's glory and shrugs. "It's for Youtube." Elsa didn't ask for more, clearly knowing from Killian the shenanigans that can occur for youtube.
When they reach the ship, Emma is astounded with how it looks. In the nighttime, it is completely different and clearly strung up for a holiday party. There are lights strung between masts, red and green lights glowing brightly next to green tinsel. Either side of the ship has a large Christmas tree, one fully decorated with various ornaments, the other only partially covered in paper cards. Most people on the ship are dressed in some sort of yule-tide cheer, and Emma suddenly feels very under-dressed in her simple black dress and tights. Almost everyone has on an elf hat, or reindeer antlers, or even a crown of sugar plums.
Emma is so busy staring, she doesn't notice Elsa half-way up the gangplank laughing at her.
"Come on, Emma!" She calls.
Quickly catching up to her new friend, Emma stops as they step on the ship to say, "But I don't even have a fancy hat!"
"Yes you do!" Elsa replies, pointing to the mistletoe hat that Emma forgot she was holding.
Emma laughs, the tension in her shoulders releasing a little. "I don't think I'll be wearing this one. It's more for fun with everyone else."
"Well, in that case," Elsa says, pointing to a bin sitting near the edge of the ship, "Just grab one of the extras!"
Elsa reaches in, pulling out a crown that looks to be made of ice and places it on her own head. She then grabs a Santa Claus hat and plops it down on Emma's head. "Hats are always part of the theme, or so my sister Anna told me."
Emma is about to reply, when she is grabbed around the shoulders and a familiar musky smell enters her nose. She tries her best not to perk up too much as she hears Killian speak beside her.
"Swan! Elsa! You both came!"
"Of course we came, you invited us!" Elsa replies, shaking her head at Killian's antics.
Killian laughs, clearly already a drink or two into the night. "Ah, but a man must never assume that a lady will come, even if he invites her. It is, after all, her prerogative."
"Whatever you say, Santa Claus," Elsa says, and it takes a moment for Emma to realize why before she turns to give Killian a full look. Standing beside her, he stands wearing a bright red suit, velvet lined and fitted in all the right places. He has a Santa hat atop his head, sitting lopsided so half his hair is still showing. It takes everything she has not to burst out laughing at the site, but it also is giving Emma weird feelings about Santa Claus that she is not so sure she wants to feel.
Killian seems to notice her looking, his eyebrow shooting up and a smirk forming on his lips. Emma stands her ground, making eye contact and staring back.
"Okay, I'm going to go find a drink…" Elsa says, breaking the two out of their stare and causing a flush to rush into Emma's cheeks.
Killian doesn't seem phased, pointing in the direction of the bow of the ship. "Ah, yes, you will find Liam with the libations, my lady."
Elsa rolls her eyes, but heads off in that direction. Emma could've been projecting, but she swears she saw a hint of a blush on Elsa's face when Killian's brother was mentioned. It must've been just the chill though.
"So, do I not get any libations?" Emma asks, breaking the silence and turning to Killian.
"Of course you do, Swan!" Killian replies, a smile adorning his face. "I have something special saved for you, however first I must know you procured the item we previously discussed."
Emma rolls her eyes. "You talk like a 15th century man, anyone ever tell you that?"
"Aye, love. But you still haven't shown me the goods."
She shakes her head at his antics, but Emma still holds out her hand to show the mistletoe hat in it.
"Ah, beautiful!" Killian grabs the hat out of Emma's hand, replacing it with something cold and hard. When Emma looks down, she sees it is a flask. "Now, to promise you will get this back, I have given you some of the best rum from my own personal stash. Do you say we find some use for this hat, then, Emma?"
Emma takes a big swig from the flask, closing her eyes as the rum burns down her throat, a hint of peppermint adding some holiday flare. She hands the flask back to Killian then nods at him. "Let's get this party going then!"
The night truly is lovely, Emma thinks, watching the other boats float around her on the marina. Christmas day has always been a somber affair for Emma – a day to remember she doesn't have friends or family to celebrate with. But this evening – well, for once Emma feels like she has truly embraced the Christmas spirit.
"Your hat, my lady," Killian says, coming up behind Emma. She startles a moment, then relaxes as she feels the mistletoe hat fall upon her head and Killian settle in beside her.
"Did it help?" Emma asks, turning to look at Killian, his blue eyes shining with mirth.
"Take a look for yourself," he replies, his head nodding towards the front of the ship. Emma turns around and smiles when she sees Liam and Elsa kissing against the mast of the ship. Killian taps her shoulder and points in another direction, and Emma sees Will Scarlett making out with a woman previously introduced to her as Belle.
"Mistletoe on Christmas. Guess it really does work," Emma says, turning back to Killian. She opens her mouth to say more, but the words turn to sand in her mouth. Killian is staring at her in the way she had imagined all evening, like he has never seen anyone else before. The way he did in her video from the Harry Potter exhibit. His eyes sparkle, and he has a small smile on his lips, and there is no hint of a joke or a "yo ho" to be seen. Just… Killian.
His hand reaches out to snake around Emma's ear, catching an errant curl and pushing it back. "Aye," he says slowly, his hand lingering next to Emma's cheek and pulling her face slowly towards his. "Mistletoe on Christmas."
Emma leans in, her heart hammering in her chest. She can feel his body heat radiating towards her, his thumb slowly stroking her cheek as their lips near. Just when she thinks she can taste him, a gust of wind blows and Emma lets out a startled scream, her mistletoe hat flying off into the marina.
She and Killian jump back from each other, Emma turning to scan the waters to see if she can find the hat. Her followers were promised a giveaway of the infamous mistletoe hat and now… now it is gone. And as is the moment, Emma turning back to Killian to see him scratching behind his ear, the red tinge to his cheeks deeper than just from the cold.
"I'm sorry, love," Killian says, turning out into the waters to see the bright red floating next to another boat. Slowly, Emma and Killian watch as the hat sinks under the water, taking the possibilities of what it could've brought with it.
"It's okay…" Emma says, not really feeling okay about anything. "It's probably best if we… with me going home tomorrow and all…"
"Aye," Killian says, his eyes no longer shining. "I suppose that is true."
They stand in silence again, much more awkward than the heated moment of before.
"I'll… I'll make you a new one? Watch that tutorial you made, and mail it back to you in the states. Will that be alright?" Killian sounds unsure, hesitating before each sentence.
Emma nods, taking a step away from Killian to put some distance between them. She can still feel the heat radiating off him, even on the cold London night. "I should get back to the hotel anyway. I leave early tomorrow, and I have barely packed."
"You don't have to leave yet – the party has just-"
But Emma cuts Killian off, not wanting to linger any longer lest her emotions betray her and the tears come out. Tears for her hat, being lost to sea. Tears for the memories the hat has. Tears for leaving this amazing man on his ship, never to be seen again. Tears for, well, for everything this escape in London has made her realize.
"You enjoy yourself, spend time with you friends. Don't worry about me – I'll be okay on my own. I always am." She leans up, placing a soft kiss onto Killian's cheek. It is all she will allow at this point. "I'll see you online, Killian. Thanks for a great holiday."
She turns away, not daring to look back as she leaves the ship. She smiles at the people she sees, saying goodbye to Liam, and Elsa, Robin and Will. Promises to keep in contact once she is back in the states. Even promises Will he can crash on her couch sometime if he ever visits Storybrooke. By the time she leaves the ship, Emma feels like she can breathe again.
The mistake comes when, a safe distance away from the ship, Emma turns back around one last time. She sees Killian leaning over the edge, his body heavy as his hand moves up in a slow wave.
Emma allows her hand to wave one last time, but doesn't let the tears fall until she is safely tucked away in her hotel room.
December 26th
"Hi Ducklings." Emma's greeting is lacking its usual luster. It is probably because it is three in the mornign after the most amazing and disappointing Christmas day of her life. She takes a deep sigh, looking around the hotel room. Her bag is packed in the corner, other than the camera sitting on the dresser across the room. Her car should be downstairs in half an hour to take her to the airport so she can go home. The only issue is, Emma always aligns home with feelings, and Storybrooke just doesn't have appeal it did in November as London does now.
"So, I'm supposed to be on a plane in like, five hours, maybe. But," She sighs, both unsure what to say and unsure what to do with herself. She's been talking to strangers on the internet over Youtube for years now, they are her people that she goes to with anything she needs to talk about. She takes another breath to try to hold in her emotions. "I just… I don't want to leave. I like it here, and I like Hook, or Killian, or whatever he wants to be called depending on the outfit he is wearing. And you are all going to mock me because of how totally turned off by him I was at first but… he's kind, and a gentleman, and a giant nerd, and endearing, and…"
Now Emma can't stop the flow, her eyes rebelling and opening the docks. She sniffles and uses the sleeve of her sweater to wipe away the one tear that manages to escape, trying to avoid her eyes to avoid re-doing her make-up.
"Do you ever feel so lost in life that you just try to run away from it, but in running away end up finding all the answers?" She says, staring up at the roof and willing the tears to go away. She barks out a laugh. "God, I sound like an idiot."
"I don't want to leave. I don't want… I want…" Emma lets out a frustrated groan. "This is ridiculous. You all told me what I couldn't see, and I should've just kissed him when I had the chance with that mistletoe hat before the stupid thing got thrown into the ocean never to be seen again. I should've listened to you guys because you are always right, somehow, and now I'm the idiot crying about a guy to a camera when I probably will just delete this video anyways. A travel vlog would be much more fun than this mess here."
Emma groans again, shakes out her head, and gets up to turn off the camera. But before she can, there is a knock on the door. It is probably the Chinese, another random Christmas tradition she found online she wanted to try out. Apparently Chinese food on Christmas is popular with Jewish people. Plus it gave her something to do instead of wallow in her sorrows, or try to sleep (which at this point is something she doesn't expect to happen until she is back in the states).
She pulls open the door, ready to down her sorrows in Chicken Lo-Mein, but her words of thanks to the food gods get stuck in her throat. All that comes out is a surprised noise, then Emma just stares with her mouth open.
Standing in front of the door is Killian Jones, but he isn't Captain Killian anymore. He isn't even in his Santa suit. Instead, he is wearing a pair of dark jeans, a bright blue shirt, sleeves rolled up to above his elbows, with a black vest on top. In his hands is a wrapped box, and on his face is a sheepish smile.
"I thought you were Chinese," Emma says, still a little stunned.
Killian lets out a small laugh. "Apologies, love, but I am not Chinese. I just…" he pauses, looks down at the gift in his hands. "I managed to finish this before you have to leave, and I thought I'd give it to you in person instead of mailing it like I had said I would. Wanted to see your face when you open it."
Emma nods and takes the package from Killian. She reaches down to untie a ribbon, when Killian's hand covers her.
"Can we go inside the room, love? I'd rather not have us loitering around in the hallway this time of night."
"Oh, yeah, of course," Emma says, but she doesn't make to move, still too stunned as to what is happening. Killian grabs her hand at that, moving into the room and pulling the door shut. He then makes their way across to the bed, sitting them both down so they are facing where Emma's forgotten camera continues to record.
They sit in silence, Emma just looking at Killian and taking him in. She can't believe he is here, thought she saw the last of him yesterday.
"Love, you can open it now, if you'd like," he prompts, nudging the gift in Emma's lap towards her. She perks up a little, smiling up at him then back down at the present. Slowly Emma moves to pull on one of the ribbons, wanting to go slow and treasure this moment.
"How did you manage to tie the bow with only one hand?" Emma asks, pausing once the ribbon is undone to look up at Killian.
"You know I am a man of many skills," Killian says, a smirk on his face. "Though, I do have to say Mr. Smee helped a little bit."
Emma nods, a small blush forming on her face at Killian asking his first mate for help tying the bow on her present. A present he probably spent hours making after hosting a party that probably is still happening now. She is about to say something else when she opens the lid of the box, and for the second time in the night all the words die in her throat.
She stays silent, staring down at the contents of the box, until she feels Killian's hand wiping a tear away from her cheek.
"Is everything alright? Did I step too far?" Killian asks, his hand moving to pull Emma's chin up so she can look into his eyes.
Emma shakes her head, a deep breath allowing a second tear to fall. "No, it's perfect." She reaches into the box and pulls out the mistletoe hat, looking at all the ways Killian captured their perfect two weeks together in this one item.
"Oh, but that isn't the whole gift," Killian says, his voice a little shaky. "I was hoping to give it to you in person so that we could test it out, make up for last time…" The sentence trails off as Emma begins to understand what it is Killian is saying.
Without another word, Emma lifts up the hat and places it onto Killian's head. She lets out a small giggle at how ridiculous he looks with it on – green fuzz everywhere and the sprig of mistletoe coming out to perfectly align right in between the two.
"Do you think it works as well as the last one?" Killian asks, a nervous smile on his face.
"Let's see," Emma replies, before leaning forward and pressing her lips to Killian's. And though he probably was expecting it, Emma feels Killian tense up for half a second. She doesn't stop, though, just continues the slow, soft caress of her lips against his. Something must catch in Killian's brain, because suddenly he is responding too. His lips begin to move, and his mouth opens, and Emma feels her whole body let out a giant sigh of relief.
He tastes like rum and salt and something just… Killian. There is a little bit of peppermint mixed in there too, probably from the flask he was drinking out of all night. She forgets to taste though, losing herself into feeling as Killian's hand moves to tangle in her hair and his hook runs slowly up and down her back.
If she didn't have to breathe, Emma would be content kissing Killian for the rest of her life. But oxygen becomes a priority and they reluctantly pull apart, both taking deep breaths.
"I take it you like the gift, love?" Killian asks between pants.
Emma nods, leaning in and pecking him again on the lips. "Much better than Chinese."
Killian lets out a laugh, pulling Emma close into a hug. Emma breathes him in, tries to forget that she has to leave in a few hours. Tries to forget that-
"Is your camera on?" Killian asks, breaking the silence.
The pulls back, and Emma turns back to her camera and it's shining red light facing directly at where they are sitting on the couch. She looks for half a moment longer, and then lets out a chuckle. The chuckle builds to a snort, and eventually she and Killian are both sitting on the couch with uncontrollable full belly laughs.
"Well, I bet my viewers are going to enjoy this video way more than the travel vlog I had planned."
"Aye, most likely. Merry Christmas, Swan. Even if you have to leave." Killian says, placing a peck to Emma's nose. The hat on his head jingles, and she reaches up to shake the berries still sitting between their heads.
"What if…" she says, twisting the berries in her hand, "I don't have to leave?"
"Hmm?" Killian says, shaking his head so the hat jingles again as a smirk forms on his face.
"I mean, I can't leave before New Years, right?" Emma says. "I know it sounds cliché and exactly like The Holiday, but shouldn't I stay until New Years at least?"
"At least?" Killian asks, an eyebrow twisting up.
"Oh, shut up," Emma says, shutting Killian up with a kiss.
She eventually gets back to the camera to turn it off before things get too hot and heavy. She also manages to cancel her flight ticket before collapsing into bed with Killian. When she posts the video the next morning, she doesn't edit out anything until after she shuts Killian up with a kiss. Her fans really don't mind. And neither does Emma.
Author's Note: GUYS I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Mostly I am sorry to Katie for giving you a Christmas gift that basically went until Summer to finish. I mean, I have no excuses other than life. So I hope you like the ending, even if it took nearly 6 months to get.
Did anyone catch my Lizzie Bennet Diaries reference? I had that final scene written since the beginning, and I just had to add the party. Sorry for skipping the HP fun - if I had wanted to add that this would never have been finished.
I hope you enjoyed, and I'd love to know what you think in a review! 3 Until next time ducklings!