Big shout out to all of my avid readers XD stay classy
It had been 6 weeks, one day, 7 hours, 32 minutes, and 53 seconds since the reveal of Scrappy's canine identity. However, he still had not told him that his real name was not Slim Shady. At more than one occasion, Mory had asked him to drop classics such as "Mockingbird" and "Rap God", and on special occasions, "Without Me".
For some odd reason, Moriarty had not yet reasoned or questioned Scrappy's dogness. In fact, he seemed to avoid the subject altogether. It was almost as if Scrappy still wore his 46 year old woman outfit with a nice flower blouse and luxurious curly hair that was obviously died a summertime blonde. The type of blonde you would get from being outside for being outside for 28 days and 2 hours. The type of blonde that reminds you of golden wheat freshly harvested right before the first rain on a late Tuesday afternoon, the plains of Kansas. But in reality, he was in the nude. Quite scandalous for this day and age in the middle of London. However, Moriarty was Irish.
In fact, everything was going predictably normal. And you know good old Mory, he hated being predictable. Lucky ducky for him, he had his old flame Slim Shady there to help him. The young short American Great Dane strutted in such a style that would make James Potter jealous.
"Honey", he cried.
"What do you want, you dog", demanded Mory.
"We're back to the name calling, I see", observed Scrappy.
"No we're not, you really are a dog", pointed out Moriarty.
"Oh yeah, I forgot", giggled Scrappy.
There was an awkward silence.
"So you come here often", asked Scrappy randomly.
"We live in the same house you idiot", replied Mory with a bitter heart.
Simultaneously at the same time the TV randomly came on with a commercial came on of the Declaration of Independence describing how it was important to British history and the founding the good old 13 colonies: England, France, Norway, Germany, Camelot (which was removed and replaced by Italy), Greece lightning, Canada, Sarah Palin's home, Poland, North Antarctica (not to be confused with South Antarctica), 'Murica, Paris, and Atlanta Georgia.
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm", mused Moriarty with sound *clicks tongue*
"Yaaasasssss", Scrappy exclaimed vehemently, "back in the game brah".
"We are going to steal the Declaration of Independence", stated Moriarty.
Moriarty clapped his hands. It sounded like the gods bowling, what mothers tell their children everywhere at the dinner table when the children are not the past the age of 2.6 when they can still understand and believe in magic and leprechauns and not believe in the power of love. They were born in the world of hope; only having it torn down after boom boom; who is the sound of the devil. A Boeing 73 flew through the window.
"Quick get on it", said Moriarty.
They quickly hustled onto the luxurious aircraft.
"Oh Maury", Scrappy tortled, "If only all our dates could be like this"
"You're a dog", said Mory, "This is illegal".
Thankfully the flight attendant interrupted them. They were asked for animal crackers or pretzels. Moriarty chose pretzels, Scrappy chose animal crackers.
Scrappy looked Moriarty straight in the eye scarily and seductively while biting an animal crackers' elephants head off named Alfred.
"You're insane", pumpled Moriaty.
"But t'was a matter of perspective", wisely talked Scrappy.
"Where are we going?" asked Scrappy due to the fact that they were on a plane.
"To obtain the Declaration of Independence", answered Mory, "The real one, not the fake one in Arkansas."
"Why would we get the fake one in Arkansas, dingus", questioned Scrappy in his usual humor.
All of a sudden there was a gust of turbulence.
"Hey punk, learn how to fly a plane", yelled Moriarty, "My 98 year old grandmother who I killed 3 years ago could do better!"
Scrappy went up to see what was the happs. "I'll show them what's what", he said confidently.
The pilot was Mycroft Holmes, who did not have his brother's cheekbones, but had slight balding hair which was quite attractive quality in a man of any stature.
"I love you but I've only just met you," claimed Scrappy, "but I'm going to have to kill you because your sheer beauty is coming between my boyfriend and I."
He whipped out his collar and well, you know, killed him dead.
They quickly took out the few parachutes that they forseen that use they thought they would have need earlier and jumped out of the plane. They landed in Indiana. About 2 miles out of Charles Xavier's School of the mutant kind and 3 1/2 miles away from the Parks and Recreation filming place.
They started sneaking around as if they were Snoopy from that one Charlie Brown Halloween special with the Red Baron in the cornfield with invisible gunshots raining around them everywhere they went.
They stopped at the Pendleton Pike area, where they went to the Waffle Place. They each had 2 waffles, a side of crispy bacon, Canadian bacon, hashed browns, poaches eggs, hashed browns that are not too hard like Scrappy's soul. They even left a generous tip of $3.26.
They eventually left and slowly made their way to Ohio, where they stole the Diamondback rollercoaster at Kings Island. They hired 3000 constructioin workers to build a track from there to Washington, D.c. Singing the Candadian Anthem, making their way into the sunset.
Scrappy took in all a deep breath of the poodles with pink dyes fur. This is home
"But slim honey shady my boy We weren't meant to be here my boy", Moriarty started but Scrappy interrupted
"I just want to see Italy", he didn't finish his sentence
A policeman pulled them over.
R&R