A/n - It's technically still Saturday in my country, so I'm still updating on time. Also, if it is not already obvious, I am a massive fan of Doctor Who.

Disclaimer - I don't own APH or the good Doctor, though I very much wish I did.

England resettled in a different part of the house, close enough that he could still hear the occasional shout and rattle of furniture from the living room, but far enough that he wouldn't get drawn into whatever trouble the younger nations were getting into.

After a good twenty minutes or so, everything seemed to calm down. The house was actually quiet, and England took the opportunity to make good headway in his book. It had been recommended by Spain, of all people, and it was an intense mystery surrounding an author and post-WWII Barcelona. England found himself drawn into the book so deeply that it was nearly another twenty minutes before he realized that the house was quiet.

Too quiet.

England had raised America and Canada, as well as Australia and New Zealand. He had grown up with Scotland, Ireland, and Wales, not to mention the Crown Dependencies. He had contributed to the upbringing of Northern Ireland and Hong Kong. England knew that a quiet house was decidedly not a good sign. Either something incredibly destructive was about to happen, or it had already happened and the perpetrators were desperately trying to cover it up.

So England was incredibly surprised when he practically skidded into the living room and found his three younger brothers watching television. If it could be called that. America was hiding behind the couch, just peeking over the edge in order to see the television. Canada was half covering his eyes, and Sealand was curled up next to him, hands clutching Canada's sweatshirt sleeve.

"What are you watching?" England asked, looking over at the television. The question was immediately rendered moot when he recognized the shot of a child wearing a gas mask, plaintively asking where his mummy was. No wonder the three were so freaked out.

"Why are your shows so scary?" America demanded, just on the edge of panic. Even so, his attention didn't waver from the show. "No, don't talk to the kid! Run away!"

"It's Doctor Who," England said, sitting down on the couch next to Sealand. For once, the micronation didn't make any sort of abrasive comment about his presence. In fact, none of his younger siblings were engaging in any destructive behaviour whatsoever. If the good Doctor inspired them to act like civilized nations, then England was going to buy every DVD of the show he could find. And it would be nice to have some sort of common ground between them, for once.

"That doesn't explain why it's scary!" America protested. England rolled his eyes. America had survived wars and terrorist attacks and industrialization and the Great Depression, and he was terrified of a television show. Typical.

"Look. The man in the leather jacket is the Doctor," England began.

"Doctor who?" Canada asked. England couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"And he travels around space and time in a blue police box called the TARDIS," he continued, opting to ignore the interruption. "That blonde woman is his companion, Rose. They are quite good at getting into trouble, and more than once they've helped prevent an alien invasion."

"But why is it so scary?" America whined.

"It isn't always scary! And this episode is brilliant!" England retorted. "See, the Doctor and Rose are in London during the Blitz, and they have to solve the mystery of the child in the gas mask and not get blown up by the Kraut bastards!"

"So what's the American doing there?" Canada asked, pointing out Captain Jack. America brightened.

"I like him! He's a hero! He saved the blonde woman!" England sighed. Of course America would take to Captain Jack Harkness.

"If you had paid attention instead of hiding, you'd know that he's a Time Agent that went rogue," England neglected to mention that Harkness was probably more like France than America. Likely America would figure it out on his own sooner or later. And if he didn't, all the better. England really didn't want to hear the rant about 'misrepresenting Americans in TV shows' again.

The rest of the episode was spent in silence as four pairs of eyes were glued to the television screen. Yes, England had seen the episode before, but it really was an excellent one. America nearly had a full-blown freak-out when Dr. Constantine fell victim to the horrifying gas mask disease, and Sealand joined America behind the couch when the afflicted people suddenly came to life at the end.

"Not a cliff hanger!" America protested as the episode ended. "The people are going to get the Doctor and Rose and Captain Jack and that one woman with the homeless kids!"

"Nancy," Canada supplied. America bobbed his head in agreement.

"You have to tell me how it ends, England!" America demanded. England rolled his eyes.

"You can watch it yourself. It's an old episode, I'm sure you can get the DVDs when you get home," England pointed out. "In fact, I'm sure your bastardization of BBC airs the show!"

"But that's your network!" America pointed out. "I don't watch your networks, since mine are better!"

"I beg to differ. You have networks solely devoted to reality television!"

"Maybe I can make my own Doctor Who, and it will be full of heroes and it won't be scary so everyone can watch it!" America mused. "It'll have a lot more explosions and guns and they won't travel in a police box — I don't even know what that is — and there will be a lot more space battles and there will be more companions so there will be love triangles and drama and..."

"Don't you dare," England growled, leaning over the back of the couch so he could point menacingly in America's face. "Doctor Who is a major part of English culture and it's the longest-running science fiction programme ever, and I'm not going to let you make a bastardization like you did Blackpool and Life on Mars! And stop trying to make your own version of Top Gear, dammit!" Potential for 'common ground' or no, England was not going to let America ruin a significant part of his pop culture. Besides, it was his favourite programme.

"It was a joke!" America said, scooting backwards from England. The slightly panicky tone in his voice suggested that it had not, in fact, been a joke, but he knew better than to push the issue.

"Good," England said, sitting back. "Just because The Office worked doesn't mean you can turn all of my shows into rote American 'sitcoms.'"

"I promise, I'll leave Doctor Who alone," America said. "Pinkie swear?"

"I am not 'pinkie swearing' with you," England replied, eyeballing the proffered finger with distain, "but I'll hold you to that."

I am a huge fan of British television, I just wish the Americans would stop ripping it off :(
Just air episodes of the original shows if you like them so much!
Next chapter on Friday!
Until next time,
~Craic