Vincent was growing agrivated. Any time something touched his blasted whiskers, it make him twitch like a cat getting sprayed with water. I must be the only one out of sorts, he thought, watching Barret walk by and talk to a yelling Cid. Tifa stumbled out of her room with Yuffie behind her, though the ninja was having a hard time walking upright. Her leg must have fallen asleep. She finally gave up on walking and just crawled across the floor. Her gray eyes caught his single one and stared. I must play the part of Nanaki, I suppose. At least until this strange event passes over.
Coincidentally, everyone else in Avalanche seemed to have the same idea. Sort of. They simply thought they wouldn't day anything. This made Aeris giggle. Poor guys. They have no idea how weird the day is gonna be.
Cid muttered as he walked down the stairs, even shorter than his short self. Yuffie trailed behind him, crawling like a little demon possessed child. Eventually, everyone made it downstairs, Barret sitting at the bar counter.
"Whatchya got for breakfast, Teef?"
"I'm not a chef!" He glared at Barret. The dark man raised an eyebrow and Cid gulped. Right. I'm the frikin' woman for the day. "Er, I mean, I'll get you something in a moment." Nanaki tried to get onto his hind legs for some reason and wound up stumbling into Vincent, knocking them both to the floor.
"What the -%+?!" The red cloaked man yelled, startling everyone. Yuffie blinked at him and Cloud drew back a little, Nanaki frowning at him.
"Tifa, the eggs are on fire," the fire cat finally said.
"What?!" He shrieked, jumping away from the flaming stove. "What the -%( do I do?!"
"I got it!" Cloud jumped over the counter, dumping a crap load of baking soda on the pan. "There we go! I'll show you how to do it right!"
"Um... That's okay," Cid backed away, turning to a confused bunch of Avalanche members and crossing his arms over his large chest. "What?"
"Nothing," someone chirped. Cid frowned. Is that... My body? Who the heck's in there?! "I'm, uh, gonna go... Y'know, stare at my ship because it's really pretty." He mentally face palmed. Whoever it was was doing a terrible impression of him.
Cloud watched his body cook everyone's breakfast expertly, wondering how on earth he was doing it. And who's in there anyway? My subconscious? Cid left the bar, singing something about materia under his breath. Strange. Smirking, he stood, thumping over to Yuffie. She crawled toward him with an eyebrow raised.
"Hello, Barret. Did you need something?" Cloud blinked at her. What the heck?
"No."
"I see. Perhaps we can speak later then," she shrugged and turned the other way, crawling to Vincent. Cloud huffed and looked up at the ceiling. What in the name of Aeris is going on?
Tifa left quickly to let Avalanche eat while she went upstairs. Finally, I can change this rediculous hair... She smiled to herself and grabbed her comb off of her dresser, parting Cloud's soft blonde hair a little to the right and brushing down. When she was finished, she had to fight a giggle. He looks like a dork. I should probably fix it... She hurried to grab some of his gel, trying to spike his hair up again, but it fell limp. Oh no...
Barret huffed as Yuffie crawled toward him. Was she here to bother him like she always bothered her "Vinnie"?
"Pst. Vincent," she whispered. "It's me, Nanaki."
"Go away, Brat," he huffed.
"But.."
"Go, before I club you with my gun!" The ninja yelped and crawled away, wincing as her knees were starting to go raw.
~•~
At that moment, Reeve pushed into the Seventh Heaven to see Cloud creeping down the stairs with his blonde hair falling around his shoulders unevenly, Barret reading a magazine about broadswords, Yuffie crawling like a possessed person, Nanaki twitching, Vincent curiously twisting pieces of his claw, and Tifa talking nonstop about space to absolutely nothing. He blinked at them all, shrugging before stepping inside.
"How is everyone?"
"Reeve!" Cloud squealed, running toward him and hugging him tightly.
"Reevie!" Cid entered behind him, crushing him as well.
"Er..." Reeve blinked. Tifa just gave him a halfhearted wave before talking to herself again, Yuffie nodding his way, and Barret pretending he didn't exist. "Nice to see you all."
"I know! And I got a new materia the other day, just for you!" Cid whooped, running up the stairs with wheezy breath.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm so glad you could make it Reeve," Cloud smiled widely. Confused, the commissioner stared at the blonde as he walked away.
"What exactly is going on here?" He demanded.
"A partay!" Cid jumped back down the stairs.
"I see..." Something seems incorrect... Cid's acting like Yuffie, Cloud is acting like Tifa, Tifa's muttering about planes and such, and Vincent's talking nonstop, which seems to be scaring Nanaki. Hmm. I have a way to test this out... "Tifa, we seem to be missing food," Reeve smiled politely, motioning to the rather empty pantry. Tifa looked up after maybe ten seconds.
"Huh?"
"I think it's time to go grocery shopping," the commissioner smirked with his head cocked to the side. "Maybe you could take Yuffie. Oh, and Cid, I need you to take a look at my car, the engine is making a terrible noise. Marlene, how are you? Why don't you go say hello to your father? Vincent, I need you to go pick up your new assignment from the WRO HQ."
"Sure thing," Vincent huffed suspiciously. Clue number one.
Cid looked up at the shelves in the store, blinking at the list in his hand. Heck, Shera did all this crap back at home. The only thing he knew how to shop for was tools. That and all that mechanic crap, oils, engines, and gas and stuff. Yuffie's wobbly legs left her walking unsteadily behind him, her eyes wide as she looked around.
"You alright, Brat?"
"I've never been inside a shopping center before," she mused quietly. Cid frowned.
"What're you talking about?"
"Nevermind, Tifa. What's next on the list?"
"Uh... I don't know, I can't read this," he shrugged.
"Let me see," Yuffie reached up, fingers taking a couple tries to grab the paper. "That says tampons."
"Um.."
"Er..."
"How about we just skip that one?" The transformed pilot suggested.
"Let's," Yuffie nodded eagerly.
~•~
Yuffie stared helplessly at the hood of Reeve's car. Shoot... How the heck does the old fart do it? She yanked the top open, grimacing at the smell, and helplessly poked a chunk of metal.
"Can you see what's wrong?" Reeve asked in a light tone, sounding somewhat like he was mocking her. Should I tell him? But then everyone'll blame me for something!
"Uh... Yeah! Yer engine's lonely, so it, er, needs a friend..?"
"... What?"
"You know. A friend," she grinned. Reeve sighed and stroked his goatee thoughtfully. He was onto her, she just knew it.
"Alright. Why don't you come inside then? I'd like to talk to you all about something when Tifa and Yuffie get back." Yup. He's onto m- Hey, is that a Bahamut materia?!
~•~
Barret waltzed into the WRO Headquarters, feeling strangely light and, well, shorter than usual. And he could see better. Way better. So much that it creeped the normally big, burly man out. Where the heck do I pick up an assignment? A tall, thin woman with glasses and a stack of papers walked past him and he hurried to catch up.
"Hey! Where do I get my assignment?!" She jumped, staring at the suddenly very loud and rude Vincent Valentine.
"Excuse me, Sir?"
"Assignment pick up. Where is it?" He demanded again. How on planet Gaia did Vampy do his everyday?
"Mr. Valentine, there is no assignment for you," she answered quietly, quite scared that the end of the world was coming soon. This man had never even opened his mouth around her, and now he was yelling and waving his arms everywhere? "Y-You requested vacation time for this weekend, remember?"
"What the..!" Barret released a yell that sounded like a roar and stomped out of the building, leaving the poor secretary to push up her glasses and keep walking. Barret grumbled to his new self all the way back to Seventh Heaven. He was going to give Reeve a piece of his mind.
LONGER THAN THE LAST TWO... IT'S SO WEIRD HOW MUCH FUN IT IS TO NOT ACTUALLY HAVE A STORY LINE AND JUST MAKE CRAP UP AS I GO... SERIOUSLY, THE NOTE PAD FOR VIOLET SHADOWS ON MY PHONE IS OVER 8,000 WORDS LONG. FOR THIS ONE? IT'S LIKE 25 XD