Keres smoothed the Kine's hair with her clean hand, politely and probably more out of habit she offered Lyle the blood on her hand.
"Uh, I suppose.." She shrugged. "Doesn't it have that reputation already? Huh, well if he was going to do so I would quite like him to do it because he wanted to. Not because you told him to, it should be a happy time not one filled with death glares as I'm going to assume you'd be the best man or if not you'd make a pretty bridesmaid." Keres poked the Kine as she verbally teased her Regent she hoped she'd wake up so she wouldn't have to carry them.
Lyle refused the offered blood, denying with a shake of his head. "I'm trying to quit. I'd look fabulous with english locks." Keres hid her smile behind the act of cleaning herself. She shrugged and licked her finger clean at his refusal.
"I don't know what Griffin wants, so I go ahead and decide for him. He gives me the stare, but he never says anything, so until he tells me, I'll keep annoying him."
Eventually the Kine awoke, still half aware of their surroundings but obviously dazed from the combination of Lyle's Dominate and the sudden unexpected loss of blood.
"I'll wait for you here." She didn't get a chance to comment further as the Kine awoke. She nodded conforming her understanding before helping the dazed Kine on their feet and out the door.
As she said she would she returned the Kine to the docks where Lyle had found her. Keres did not leave until she was sure they were safe on their own. She returned as quickly as she could and knocked on the door they had entered when they arrived.
Lyle opened the door with a wide meaningful smile and went back to the ritual room where they left off.
"We can chat until dawn arrives, we'll resume tomorrow evening. Your first task will be to hunt properly."
Keres noted the smile with a curious glance as she stepped past the threshold and followed him back to the ritual room once more.
"Will you be watching me?" She assumed he meant hunt properly the beginning of the next night. As she spoke she closed the door of the ritual room behind her.
"Yes but I've got nothing to teach in that field, we all have different approaches to blood. I'll just make sure the Masquerade is kept."
"I think I should start calling you daddy." Her comment was quite dry and sarcastic but she didn't show any sign of caring if he stalked her whilst she stalked Kine for food.
"Yeah better not considering.. Plus I'm trying to get Claudia to do that."
"Considering I look older than you?" She finished off his thought with an amused grin. "Then why am I receiving a chaperone? I think you'd know by now if I broke the Masquerade." Her tone was more curious of why he would wish to.
"Because I want to see if you're capable of hunting correctly even with a stressed Beast. When you'll wake you'll feel more thirst than right now. And I'd like to take a few blackmail pictures..."
She simply nodded, not that she had much choice in the matter either way.
"Hard to blackmail someone with no reputation." She took one of the seats at the table and sat.
"Easy enough. We all have a currency."
"Setting your sights a little low though, I don't have that much why not try one of the Venture?"
"I've got files on them too don't worry..." He sat too. "Is this whole thing helpful to your mind at least?"
Keres watched him sit, she smiled slightly at his question.
"Yes, it's teaching me what is important."
"Everything Jean-Pierre told you is also important, if not more so than what I'm showing you."
"I never said it wasn't, my humanity matters, but so does my survival. So far it seems like a balancing act and the lessons have highlighted this even more so..." Keres reclined into her seat for a moment thinking of how to phrase her words.
"I do not wish to become a monster but at the same time I know I'm no longer human...The knowledge that there is something inside me that will make me survive no matter the cost is an unpleasant truth, but not one I knew the full extent of and probably still don't..." She leant forward, her elbow rested on the table and her chin on her palm, her expression seemed distant and almost sad.
"...I never imagined god could be so cruel..." The thought seemed to have been on her mind for a while now.
"Hm.." Lyle took the time to settle in his chair, listening and being quite attentive before speaking his own mind.
"But by definition you are already a monster. A civilized one, but still. Some are better at pretending than others, and some others force themselves to behave a certain way. In the end we all have a drinking problem, and all of us will do anything we can to have our fix. Being human, pretending to be human..you can ask yourself what do you believe in and how do you understand yourself and others, but in the end it will not change anything."
It was clear to Keres he'd thought about the whole Kindred situation before. It was nice to have someone to speak to on it, her Sire and she had obviously but a different perspective was always useful.
"That's one way of looking at it I didn't consider. Maybe I just got comfortable with the illusion of choice we had as Kine." She seemed to be watching him carefully but it wasn't inspecting just that he seemed to be drawing the majority of her attention.
"Ever saw how jaded older people can be? Imagine living in the body of a twenty year old when in fact you lived through the whole industrialisation era. We're all insane. Griffin has accepted this reality even if it hurts him, and Claudia denies it and runs away from the problem, for instance."
She nodded showing she was paying attention to him and understood what he meant, Lyle could see her expression change when he mentioned Claudia and Griffin though it wasn't entirely clear what her feelings were.
"I can't do what Claudia does, can't sugar coat shit and expected to taste better. Life or unlife just doesn't work that way"
"We all cope with being dead in our own way. Claudia decided to deny the whole thing and just worry about what is important to her. I understand how she chose, because after all I killed her, but I don't understand how she thinks. Either way I don't need to understand her to have her obey when it's necessary. As long as she stays alive and respects the Oath, I just don't care about her life style."
Though Lyle was acting distant, in truth he has a certain affection for his Childe. He masked it well but not well enough for the younger Apprentice not to notice. Keres nodded again, her fingers hid the small smile playing on her lips but it still showed at the corners of her eyes.
"True..." She seems to be thinking of something though doesn't share the thought. "Was your Sire as kind and understanding?"
"Tarcisus? No, he had lost it before we crossed paths. But to be honest I already knew my share of information before being embraced. This whole thing wasn't really new to me. And Claudia certainly doesn't think I'm kind and understanding, I just find her far more useful outside than inside."
Keres took a moment before responding, her eyes watching him still as she figured out how to phrase what she wanted to say.
"You aren't cruel for the sake of being cruel, if you didn't have even a hint of kindness and understanding do you think I'd be here willingly? Or for that matter would you be teaching me at all?"
"I must really be getting old..." He laughed and nodded conceding to her point.
"I'm not doing it for free. I got my fix after all, and it's a fair trade: I show you how to control yourself, and you give me your blood. I'm sure others would disagree, Claudia certainly didn't like her training, even if I wasn't the one doing it. You just so happen to agree with my reasons for being cruel. You rationalize well your surroundings and detach yourself to understand. It's good, it's probably why he chose to give you the embrace. See, if Claudia hates me so much it's because I'm the exact personification of everything that goes against her set of values, her perception of the world. I don't really care that much as long as she obeys."
"Of course you're not, I would be suspicious if you offered with no incentive for your own gain." She sounded quite amused by the idea of getting something for free. "...I don't pretend to know his reasons, so long as he is happy then most likely I am too. Hmm, she can't have met that many truly horrible people if you're her personification of that. She likes your Sire though doesn't she? Or is that another mask?"
"Oh she met her share of assholes, too." He placed his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand mirroring her behaviour.
"Tarcisus fit her idea of a father figure to cope with being dead. Frankly, I think she loves him because he loved her first, as a mirror if you wish. Her mere existence is a bit complicated. Claudia is easy to manipulate, in a way, show her and give her what you want her to give you, it's fairly simple. However it only works if what you give her is sincere. Tarcisus loves her, she's his precious little girl, this is why she can give it back to him. If you see what I mean. This is also the reason why she can trust Griffin."
He sighed, it's a topic he's thought about for long also. Keres' fingers slipped away from her face moving to her cheek whilst still resting her chin on her palm, the expression on her face was telling him she was silently saying 'what? really?'
"Like André Gide said, Better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you're not. The fact you don't like manipulating her seems an admirable trait to me."
"I do manipulate her whenever I need her to do something against her will, and if it's necessary I impose my will on her. I don't need her to like me, or to love me. She would be quick to notice I'm not sincere anyway so it's useless. So I play the role of the evil killer Sire she needs to feel good about herself and it just so happens to be the truth, which makes it far easier for me. Actually, I do care for her, yet our vision of the world is far too different for us to get along."
He shrugged, uncaring, putting back his hand on the table and stretching a little.
"If she's happy, good. I just need her to stay alive. How's your focusing and your beast now?"
"Maybe I just find your bluntness quite sincere." His next question caught her off guard, she was obviously not expecting it.
"Manageable." Keres sat back in her seat, and looked at the wall behind him, she always seemed to under state her abilities.
"If I held her and told her bluntly she'd run away screaming into the night. I should try flowers." Not really considering it, he waved it off with his hand. "Very well. Dawn will happen soon enough now, claim any room you like for the day."
"Depends what you told her I guess..Um, there are rooms with beds here?" She asked with a note of curiosity.
"It all depends of your definition of 'bed', but yes." He stood as he spoke. "I'll show you a little more around, but this Chantry is bigger than what it appears."
Keres nodded and stood, she pushed the chair back under the table where she found it and followed Lyle when he made to move out of the room.
"Why did we move to the new Chantry?"
"Because they named that hotel 'The Regent'. I couldn't help myself." He showed her around the small stone corridors, tangled around the bell as he spoke opening a few doors to what looked like old Apprentice rooms.
They looked more like old prison cells than rooms, and they might have been designed with that in mind. Of course, no water and no electricity, but the magic reacted to Lyle's presence, creating some kind of blue glows on the stones so they didn't get lost.
"Rufus' been keeping the place clean and available."
She didn't comment on what he said about the hotel, instead she followed quietly and poked her head into a few of the rooms, she couldn't help but touch the stones curiously as they illuminated their path.
"I did wonder how it stayed so dust free." After the first three rooms she stopped him. "This one is fine, thank you."
"It's protected by magic as well. This place was built with the Tremere in mind, which is why the bell tower has lasted. Some manual cleaning is needed but it's peanuts compared to what a similar, human-built building would need. I moved the chantry for the same reasons you move from a fort to a palace.."
He nodded as she chose.
"They all look the same anyway, there was no room for individualism. You can probably find some sheets in a drawer if you need them."
She nodded back acknowledging his explanation and fully understanding the move now she had seen some of the rooms.
"Thank you." She held his arm for a moment as she spoke. "I'm sorry about your arms." She felt a bit guilty now she remembered fully what she had done.
He gives a look at his arms, trying to see why, and shrugged his shoulders.
"It's why I rolled my sleeves. Could've been worse so don't worry. It's another lesson; don't get in the way of a frenzied, hungry Kindred if you don't have the strength and knowledge to deal with it. I'll stay in the ritual room for the day, so you can find me there in the evening."
Whilst he spoke she trailed a fingertip over one of the wounds, not quite believing she had done them but quickly let him go. Vaguely she nodded her head acknowledging she had heard where he would be the next evening.
"Sleep well." Keres was unsure how else to say it since torpor well didn't have quite the same ring to it. She stepped aside and into the open doorway to allow him to leave.
"Rest well. We kept the same vocabulary for those matters.." He added as he sensed the doubts. She gave him a slight sheepish smile to this it was still immensely odd to her.
He waved to say goodbye and moved away and back to the ritual room. Keres returned it but didn't watch his retreat, instead closing her door. With a quick glance around she decided against using the sheets, the walls were much like the rest of the Chantry, as Lyle had stated the small room was designed for only the issue of Torpor. The bed, desk and chair were the only three objects within and took up the majority of the small space.
With dawn approaching quickly Keres lay upon the bed and waited, her mind slowed as the sun began to ascend, then just as quickly she succumbed not even trying to fight to remain awake.