CHAPTER THREE
All of Bobby's worries disappeared when he received Alex's text message. Then Carver's "Excellent" brought Bobby out of his reverie. Bobby's eyes briefly met Bishop's. "It's great…You should call her. I'll deal with the booking," she said as she handed him his binder. Bobby felt small and petty. He hadn't treated her well. He'd ignored and dismissed and used her. He'd never let her forget that she was a replacement, and while she certainly was that, he could've treated her much better.
Bobby looked at Carver. "Go," the ADA said. "This calls for more than just a phone call or a text. I'll help Detective Bishop if she has any problems. Please let Detective Eames know I'm glad things are going well, and I'll be by to see here when I get a chance."
"I…I will," Bobby stammered. "And…Thank you…"
"God," Bobby thought as he stumbled from the courthouse and found a cab. "Can everyone see it? Am I so dependent on her that everyone can see it?"
As he sat in the cab he tried to settle his emotions. He desperately wanted to see Alex and make sure she was all right. It was only when he was already inside the hospital that he realized much of Alex's family would be there and that he might not be allowed to see her. These thoughts plagued him as he made his way to the obstetrics unit. When Bobby reached the area where families and friends could see the newborn babies, he saw a mass of Eameses surrounding Alex's father, who held a small bundle. Bobby stopped, backed away, and turned to the nearest nurse.
"I…I'm looking for Alex Eames' room," he said softly. "She…She just gave birth…"
"She's resting." The nurse eyed Bobby warily.
"I…Uh…I'm her professional partner…And friend," Bobby said. "We…We're cops…I just wanted to make sure she was ok…"
The nurse's expression softened. "Are you Detective Goren? Bobby Goren?"
"Uh…Yea…" Bobby fumbled for his I.D.
"Ms. Eames said you might come by." The nurse examined Bobby's I.D. "She said we should let you see her." She studied Bobby for a moment. "C'mon," she finally said. "I'll show you to her room."
"I…I won't wake her up," Bobby promised. "I…I just want to make sure she's ok. I…I guess that sounds sorta…"
"Sweet," the nurse said gently. "This is her room." She opened the door carefully, and the light from the hall shone on Alex's face. Her eyes were closed, and her face was calm and peaceful. Bobby eased gingerly into the room.
"Thank you," he whispered to the nurse, who smiled and nodded. As the nurse left, Bobby cautiously approached the bed. He clutched his binder to his chest and looked down on Alex. She looked small and young and vulnerable. He felt horrible about worrying about her return to work.
She stirred and winced, and her eyes blinked open. She looked up at Bobby and smiled. His insides melted, and for a moment Bobby feared he might slump to the floor.
"Don't," he said gently as Alex moved to sit up. "Stay there."
She winced again, and Bobby moved closer to her bed. "Are you ok?" he asked. "Do you need…"
"I'm ok," she said, but she didn't try to move again. "Just a little sore." She smiled again. "You didn't have to come…"
"Yea…Yea I did…I…I needed to see you."
Alex smiled. "Please…Pull up the chair and sit down. I gotta warn you…I'm pretty wiped out…And they've given me some nice drugs…I don't know how long I'll hold out…"
Bobby pulled up the chair and sat. "Don't worry…I…I just wanted to make sure you were ok…"
"I am…" She yawned. "But I can't wait to get back to work."
Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. "You…You don't have to worry about that. You take all the time you need. What a selfish…You've just done this wonderful thing…You're exhausted…And I'm worried about when you're coming back to work…"
"Bobby." Alex sat up slowly and carefully. "You just said that you knew I did a wonderful thing. That sounds like you're thinking about someone else."
"It's…It's just…This case…This last case…I made some mistakes…And…You would've seen why…You would've stopped me…"
"You're giving me an awful lot of credit," Alex said. "But…I can tell…This one spooked you…"
"Uh…Yea…The perp…Found out things and used them against me…But…I figured it out…Eventually…"
"You left poor Bishop with the paperwork?"
"Yea…She…She offered…After she heard about the baby…She was there when I got your text…She…She told me to call you…I…I shoulda warned her that I was coming to see you…"
Alex leaned back against her pillows. "You owe that girl a lot…"
"Yea…She…The last few cases…She's really tried…" Bobby swallowed. "But…She didn't know…She wasn't you…"
"She's told me she should've done more research on our past case," Alex said. "When she started actually working cases with you, there wasn't any time."
"I…I didn't help." Bobby stared at the floor. "Until you got on me, I didn't help her at all…"
"But you did," Alex said. "And she came around…I've heard she's one of your biggest supporters now…I've heard she's supporting your nomination for that Medal of Honor…"
Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. "I…I don't know why anyone would think…"
"That's not what I've heard…From Bishop and a lot of other people…"
A soft knock at the door saved Bobby from further discussion of the potential medal. The nurse opened the door at Alex's soft "Come in." Bobby stood and turned to face the nurse's frown.
"He didn't wake me up," Alex declared. "And he isn't bothering me."
The nurse smiled. "Good," she said. "You have two more visitors."
Bobby stepped back into a corner and realized he'd cut off his only escape from the room. A woman slightly younger and taller than Alex entered the room. She carried a small powder blue bundle, and Alex smiled warmly at her.
"Hey, Lexie," the woman said. "I thought you might like to see Nate again before you zonked out."
Bobby stayed quiet and desperately hoped no one would notice him. The nurse helped Alex sit up and propped several pillows behind her. The woman Bobby guessed was Alex's sister carefully handed the bundle to Alex, who received it with equal care. Bobby inched from the corner.
"Bobby."
Alex's soft voice stopped him in midstep.
"You've got to see him."
Bobby faced the trio of women. Alex smiled warmly at him; her sister regarded him with skepticism; and the nurse wore an expression suggesting Bobby had passed her test for approval.
"Uh…Are you sure? I…I'm not…I may have brought in germs…"
"Don't worry," the nurse said calmly. "Right now this little fellow is probably safer from infection than any of us."
Bobby surrendered. He placed his binder on a table and stepped forward to the side of Alex's bed. Alex pulled back the edges of the blanket to reveal a tiny, puckered face. Bobby didn't know what to say. He never knew how to respond to babies—kids, yes, but not babies. They all looked like pug dogs and everything they did resulted in a mess.
The baby yawned, waved his slender but long fingers, and opened his eyes, eyes that were the same sea green as Alex's. The baby gravely regarded Bobby for a moment, and then shut his eyes again.
"Oh…He's beautiful," Bobby whispered reverently.
The women beamed.
"Good thing you approve," Alex said. "Or I'd really have to reconsider our partnership."
Bobby smiled, although Alex's words were too close to his recent fears for it to be a real smile. The baby made a sound that might have been a gurgle, and the women's attention turned to him. Bobby eased toward the door.
"Bobby…Where are you going?" Alex asked.
His hand was on the door latch. "I…I need to get back." He was glad that the light over Alex's bed wasn't strong enough to reveal his face. "He…He really is beautiful, Eames…Really…I'll be back…Or see you at home…If you wouldn't mind…" He hated that he sounded as if he was pleading for her attention.
Alex either didn't notice the plea in his voice or didn't care. "That'd be great," she said. "Don't be a stranger. I look forward to seeing you."
Bobby nodded and opened the door. He looked back at the bed. The nurse checked on some of the gages reporting on Alex. Her sister beamed at Alex, who beamed at the baby. A terrible, familiar ache appeared in Bobby's chest. He knew he would never have anything like this.
He knew all about yearning.
END