Author's Note:

First, I want to thank all of you who are reading, alerting, and reviewing. You guys are the best and I love you. I most especially love my Beta for this story, Potikanda. Go read her work, she's awesome!

I still don't own Glee. Glee still owns some of these words.

A love not fought for, is a love not worth fighting for.

Running Away, Blame It on the Alcohol, Part 2

Blaine returned to Dalton after his date with Rachel with no concerns of missing curfew, they were both home before 10pm. He had a really good time seeing Love Story at the Revival Theater, even dressing up as the characters, but he spent much of the date imagining how much better it would have been if Kurt had been there too. Blaine found Rachel to be very fun to hang out with, and he could imagine that the two could have a very special friendship. But there was something missing. He hadn't kissed her. He had frankly been afraid to know for sure that there was no spark.

Blaine went to his dorm to freshen up. He braced for the comments, hoots and hollers from the boys, but there were none. Even Jeff and Wes just greeted him warmly without pressing him for details. He saw David eyeing him and texting. Nick must have talked to them all after noticing how uncomfortable he was with the teasing earlier in the week. Nick noticed things that others didn't, and he always took care of Blaine. Blaine tried to lie down in his bed, but after only a few minutes of restlessness and inability to sleep, he decided to make his way to the Warbler rehearsal room. He still had an hour before curfew, and he needed some music to think.

Nick received David's text that Blaine was back, and a few minutes later he had headed out of the dorms. He was very concerned about his friend. Blaine had been especially tight-lipped about this date with Rachel. Plus, he could see that things between him and Kurt had been strained ever since they left after Warbler rehearsal on Monday. Nick had a pretty good idea why. Kurt had been one of the boys harping on Blaine the most, telling everyone about Blaine's scheduled date. It had been very out of character for Kurt; Kurt was usually so supportive of everyone. He was sure that the idea of this date was uncomfortable and hurting both of his friends, and he hated to see it.

Nick found Blaine in the rehearsal room, sitting at the piano. His hazel-eyes seemed to be elsewhere, staring blankly at the wall and not at the piano keys where his fingers danced. Nick could clearly make out the tune of Baby, It's Cold Outside, and a small smile crossed his lips. He walked over to the piano and leaned on it. Blaine snapped out of his daydream and looked over to Nick.

"Hey," Blaine said. Nick noticed he looked tired. Sad and tired.

"Hey yourself. It's a little late for Christmas," he said with a smirk. "But sometimes it's nice to remember the good times."

"Kurt hates me," Blaine grumbled.

"You're an idiot." That caught Blaine's attention. "Kurt does not hate you. He may be angry. He is definitely confused." Nick paused, looking at Blaine. "Must admit, he's not the only one."

Blaine turned back to the piano keys, playing something Nick didn't recognize. Likely an original song Blaine had penned but not yet shared. They sat wordless for a minute, then Blaine broke the silence. "Is your Dad proud of you Nick?"

Nick understood the question was loaded, but answered honestly. "Yes, he is."

"I want to know what that feels like, even if it is just for a day."

Nick reached to Blaine's hands, and clasped one off the keyboard, pausing his music. Blaine looked up at his best friend, tears in his eyes. "If you pretend that you're straight Blaine, he won't be proud of you. He'll be proud of himself," Nick said. "But what's most important is that you won't be proud of you either.

Blaine took a minute then rose from the piano. He walked over to the window, hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched. Not at all the confident and dapper young man he typically portrayed himself to be. He gazed out the window at the sprawling Dalton Academy campus; his freedom, his home. "You don't understand," he told Nick quietly.

Nick looked at him, the vulnerable little boy inside the shell he showed the world. His heart bled for him. "You're right, I don't understand everything. But there is one thing I do understand. You are running away. You are doing everything you can to run away from Kurt." He paused, letting his words sink in. He knew Blaine heard, but the boy remained quiet. "Blaine, you have your reasons, and I know you think you're doing what you have to, for whatever those reasons are. But when you are ready, there will come a moment," he said walking closer to him, "when you will decide it's time to stop running."

Blaine turned to him with tears in his eyes, but his throat was constricted. He had no words. He couldn't imagine how long it might take him to get to that moment.

"Come on," Nick said, putting is arm around his friend, "it won't do for either of us to miss curfew. You have a visit home tomorrow."

Blaine turned to him and, to Nick's surprise, laughed. "I thought you were supposed to be cheering me up?"

"Well," Nick said as they walked out together, "Just think of it as a reprieve from Jeff and Wes and David. You think they can hold back from teasing you for the entire weekend? Rachel Berry? I mean really, Blaine?"

Blaine playfully shoved Nick away as both boys broke out in giggles as they returned to their dorms.

Kurt hadn't called or texted him all weekend. Blaine had struggled at home, but tried to have a good time with his Mom. The two went to the mall to go shopping, and their day had been pleasant. Blaine checked his phone frequently, so used to Kurt texting him throughout the day, but there was nothing. Dinner Saturday night had been uncomfortable as usual. Blaine sat across from his father, after having avoided him as much as possible all day.

"How was that party you went to last weekend?" Colonel Anderson asked expectantly.

"It was fine, Sir," Blaine answered, his heart starting to race.

"Meet any interesting girls," he asked with his eyebrow raised. "Maybe someone you could bring to the next event at the base?"

He had planned to tell his Dad about his date with Rachel…his kiss with Rachel at the party. He had anticipated this moment for a week. He had pictured his father's smile, maybe a pat on the shoulder or a hug. A moment of camaraderie that he had seen other fathers and sons engage in and had wistfully always dreamed of. But staring back at the stern and unemotional man in front of him, a man he feared as much as loved, he thought of Nick's words. At Dalton, it was easy to focus on the dreams he held dear, of a father who loved him and accepted him. But sitting across from the man, Blaine realized that indeed his dignity was more important than his father's conditional affection. His father's pride, at the expense of his own, was not a sacrifice he was willing to make. He had come too far for that and he was far too strong. It didn't change his confusion about things with Rachel, but he would figure that out on his own without regard for what anyone else thought.

"No, Sir," he told the Colonel. "I guess I'm still waiting for the right person."

Blaine walked into the Lima Bean Monday afternoon, heading straight to the line. He was lost in his own world, after an exhausting week. He hadn't made his usual plans with Kurt. It seemed the boy was avoiding him all day at school. Warblers rehearsal today had been demanding for him, reducing the awkwardness between him and Kurt. The council had kept him busy rehearsing his vocals with Wes, while the rest of the guys worked on choreography. Blaine glanced over to Kurt a number of times, and he always caught Kurt just looking away. Neither had said anything to the other, and Kurt left rehearsal talking to Jeff and Trent. Blaine drove off to the Lima Bean alone.

He hadn't noticed Rachel or Kurt sitting at a nearby table, and was surprised when Rachel approached him in line. He had never seen her at the coffee shop before, but in a way, he was glad. After everything that had happened over the weekend, he had wanted to talk with her.

"Hey Rachel," he said with a smile, "what's going on…"

Rachel melted just a little at the way his eyes crinkled with that smile. She stepped in and grabbed him by the shoulders, pressing her lips firmly into his. Blaine stood there in shock, then closed his eyes. As he felt Rachel's soft, warm lips on his, he waited for the butterflies, the heat, the dizziness that overtook his body when he dreamed of kissing Kurt, but he felt…nothing. She pulled away, smiling softly at him, but he only stared at her in wonder. He was certain that this was not at all what he wanted. It wasn't even a game that he could play along with any longer.

A small smile came across his lips as he stared over his shoulder at Kurt, beautiful Kurt, who stared back at him expectantly. Suddenly, it was so clear. He nodded his head slightly in acknowledgement. He wouldn't lie to his father, not about his sexuality. He wouldn't pretend to be someone he wasn't. Someday, somehow there would be a moment, when he was safe to love who he wanted, with no threats and no repercussions. And he would wait patiently until that moment came.

He glanced back and forth between Rachel and Kurt with resolve that only strengthened since dinner with his father. "Yup, I'm gay. 100% gay. Thank you so much for clearing that up for me Rachel." Blaine looked once again at Kurt and felt the need to freshen up. He turned back to Rachel. "Listen save my space in line, will ya? I have to go hit the restroom. "

Blaine returned to the dining area a few minutes later, to see Rachel had gone and Kurt was waiting for him, leaning against the counter, holding two coffees in his hand. He looked sexy as ever and smiled smugly.

"Medium Drip, Sir?" Kurt held out the coffee for him and Blaine reached over with a smile to take it. Neither moved, as they studied the other, smiles fading into seriousness.

Blaine thought about all that had happened the last few weeks. He was very well aware that he had hurt Kurt. He had acknowledged Kurt's feelings for him, told him he didn't want to mess it up, and then, of course, did everything in his power to do so. And yet, Kurt was standing here, gazing at him with love and insecurity in his eyes. "I'm sorry," Blaine admitted softly. While he wasn't sorry for the journey he'd taken, he was most definitely sorry that Kurt had been hurt in the process.

"I'm sorry too," Kurt admitted, shuffling a bit and cocking his hip out to the side, an unconscious move that did not go unnoticed by Blaine. "I shouldn't have said those things I said."

Blaine resisted every urge to kiss him, instead holding his hand out for Kurt. "Truce?" he asked.

Kurt did not hesitate to take Blaine's hand in his. "Truce," he agreed. Smiling brightly, the two walked to their usual table, hand in hand, and immediately started catching each other up on all that they had missed.

Author's Note:

I hope this makes you like the episode more. I'd love to hear your thoughts.