Characters React

by Gamer95

Characters from various different anime universes react to various forms of media! Rated M for language in certain chapters

3. RWBY reacts: Jontron Part 1

The history assignment took longer than they anticipated and by the time they finished, it was dark out and far too late to watch anything else. Yang grumbled and said that they would continue tomorrow after classes were finished. Afterwards the four young women turned in for the night, getting the sleep they will need for the hectic day of classes tomorrow.

It was around 6:45 in the morning when Blake, the first one to wake up, to get out of bed and stumble into the bathroom for her shower. When she was done, her three teammates were up and waiting for their turn in the bathroom. By 9:00 they were in their first class, which so happens to be Professor Ports class, and for most of the period the all female team made sure not to look at him, still feeling ill from the image of him being topless that they were unfortunate enough to think about during the Boxman videos yesterday.

The rest of the day went by without incident. In Oobleck's class they turned in their history assignment that they worked hard on last night. After classes were done for the day, the team eagerly rushed back to their room and went towards the capsule.

"Oh man, I was waiting for this the whole day!" Yang yelled as she kneeled right next to the capsule and rummaged through the CDs.

Weiss noticed two CDs on the shelf and tilted her head as she inspected them. "Ah, I see someone labeled the ones we already watched." She said, eyeing the Game Grumps one with distaste.

"I did that." Blake admitted. "Just in case those two get mixed up with the others and we end up picking them out again."

Weiss nodded in approval at Blake's initiative. "That's a good idea Blake." Blake smiled at the complement as Yang got up off her knees, a triumphant look on her face as she held a CD in the air.

"Found one!" Yang stated as she scampered to the player and inserted the disk. They all jumped on the bed and waited eagerly for the show to start.

A logo that said 'Normal Boots' floated onscreen before the show began.

When it started, it showed what looked like a silhouette of a man walking down the street and a flight of stairs as music played in the background. Within said silhouette, various images were displayed. A bird was also seen walking along the ground, also silhouetted and displaying images. Afterwards, another logo consisting of the words 'JonTron' and two gears was displayed.

"JonTron." A robotic voice said.

"I have to say, this is the best intro we've seen so far." Weiss stated, finding the intro nice and relaxing,

"Whoever did the intro did a great job." Yang chipped in. Ruby nodded in agreement, humming the song that was playing.

The camera cuts to a man sitting on a chair with a green parrot perched on his shoulder. "Some people ask me how I get anything done!" He says. He then turns to the side with what looks like a confused expression. "Me either." He says before turning back to the camera. "Video game commercials have been around for as long as...video game commercials!" He says with a warm smile before turning back to the camera and saying "Me either."

"Not even a minute in and I'm already confused." Ruby stated, raising an eye.

Suddenly, a credits sequence flashes over a still image of the man, but it goes by too quickly to read.

"And that doesn't help." Ruby added.

"But then you see an ad for Sonic the Hedgehog next to the Cheerio bee, and you're like 'HOLY SHIT, INFILTRATION OF THE MAIN STREAM!" As he says 'Holy shit', the words appear onscreen over what seems to be a blue rodent like creature running through a loop while a bee struggles to keep up. "And y'know...You know about the mainstream back then."

"Wow, that blue rodent thing was fast." Yang pointed out. Blake just stared at the blue hedgehog as if in a trance, a primal hunger stirring deep inside her as she prepared to pounce the TV. Fortunately Blake was able to shake off those desires before she did anything embarrassing and mentally reprimanded herself for almost letting her cat-like instincts overtake her.

"Commercials usually went one or two ways, the first way being actual gameplay that made you wanna play the game." Jon said over footage of what appeared to be a sci-fi themed game of a man driving a tank of some kind.

"That looks so cool!" Ruby said, staring at the action and the cool looking tank.

"And the SECOND way that was some hipster 90s shit like this that made you wanna puke all over everything you love." He said this over a scene of a young man in a blue shirt and black pants sitting next to an attractive gothic woman on a red couch, slowly inching closer to one another. There is a caption onscreen that says 'THIS IS ACTUALLY A COMMERCIAL FOR LUIGI'S MANSION'.

"That was...interesting." Weiss hesitantly said.

"Your telling me, that commercial looks more in place in a commercial for some weird fetish or something." Yang stated. "Or condoms."

Ruby and Weiss blushed at Yang's remark while Blake simply nodded in agreement.

"Doesn't make ya wanna play the game." Jon says with a shake of his head before glancing off to the side for a moment. "Doesn't make you wanna play ANY game. Just makes you wanna go read a book. ...Those are obsolete anyways."

Ruby, Weiss, and Yang slowly turned to look at Blake, who had a dark aura seeping out of her while she glares in anger at Jon.

"Book will never be obsolete, you heathen!" Blake growled, sounding demonic as JonTron turns to his parrot.

"Whattya think of that, Jacques?" Jacque, which appears to be the name of the parrot on his shoulder, was silent for a moment before walking towards Jon's face.

"Nom." Jacques the parrot's eyes glow red as he replies and nibbles Jon's nose.

"Did...that parrot's eyes just glow red and say nom?" Yang wondered out loud.

"I think it did." Weiss replied.

"That parrot is adorable!" Ruby exclaimed. "But not as adorable as Zwei." Ruby quickly added. After hearing his name being said, Zwei climbed out from under Blake's bed and rushed towards the four then jumping on the bed. Ruby and Yang cheered and started petting him while Weiss just started petting him while cooing over him. Blake, however, backed away from the tricolored Pembroke Welsh corgi as much as she could and started hissing angrily.

Once they all calmed down, they watched the screen, with Zwei lying on Ruby's lap while watching the screen curiously.

"Oh yeah! We're watchin' top 10 video game commercials!" Jon's voice says over a black screen with the caption on it. He then begins to make strange noises as the caption spirals around in an out of control manner, which brought chuckles from the quartet.

A screen that looks to be outer space flashes onscreen as an image of Jacques and the number 10 appears in the foreground. Jacques announces the number 10 as his eyes glow.

"I'm starting to think that maybe Jacque is a robot." Ruby pointed out, imagining her friend Penny with a robotic parrot on her shoulder and sailing the seas as a pirate.

"Let's be honest!" Jon says as a black screen with the words on it appears. "The first time you heard of Super Mario World, you probably went like..." As he said this, a bright sky with a game cover depicting a short, chubby man riding a cute green dinosaur in the foreground appears.

"What's new, pussycat? Ohwhoawhoawhoa..." The scene cuts to a man singing on a stage.

After hearing the man sing those lyrics, Yang snickered evilly. 'I'm so going to start singing that around Blake.' Yang planned, only to turn her head to the left and see Blake's face inches from hers, her gold eyes narrowed to slits.

"Don't even think about it." Blake warned, already guessing what Yang was thinking about doing.

"I-ah...don't know what you're talking about." Yang nervously said, laughing nervously as Blake's eyes narrowed some more before she slowly backed away from the nervous Yang.

"Hell, man, you didn't need to PLAY it to find out how awesome it was..." The screen shows gameplay footage of Super Mario World.

"Just watch this guy, who has no idea what a video game IS, TELL you how awesome it is." And the commercial begins.

"This will be good." Weiss predicted.

"Super Mario World! Created especially for the Super Nintendo Entertainment system!" A narrator exclaims over footage of the game. "It's a bit more exciting! A bit more challenging! A bit more graphic! A bit more colorful!"

Jon decided to interrupt the narrator. "The best thing about the commercial is that only about five of the things he says are relatable to Super Mario World!"

"A bit more realistic!" The narrator continues. "A bit more sound! A bit hotter! A bit cooler! A bit weirder! A bit more revolutionary!"

"The only weird thing here is that narrator." Yang stated. "But at least the game looks good." The others nodded in agreement while Zwei barks, his little tail wagging like crazy.

"Sorry, a little more REALISTIC?" Jon says. "Uh...Compared to what? Super Mario Bros 2?" The screen shows footage of Luigi jumping over a shy guy. "The one where you're in a fuckin' dream throwing turnips at ostriches?" There is an image of an elderly bald man sleeping and a dream bubble depicting a turnip next to a yellow arrow pointing at an ostrich. "Yeah. I guess it is more realistic than THAT." The screen shows Luigi fighting a strange pink creature.

"I could see Nora having a dream like that!" Ruby observed, remembering the one time she had a dream about killing Ursas and selling their pelts.

"She'd probably would have sold the meat from them too." Weiss added, remembering the same dream the hyperactive girl had and told them about as well.

"For a lot of us out there, this commercial meant business! For the first time, we got to see a glimpse of our favourite games right there on the telly!" A small rabbit-eared TV appears onscreen. "Break out yo wallet, daddy!" A picture of a monkey appears onscreen. "I'm gonna break the bank!" A giant fist comes down from the top of the screen.

A black screen with three dots on it appears. "...That was me as a kid." Jon explains. "...I was hip, okay?"

"Sure you were." Yang sarcastically said, getting eye rolls from Blake and Weiss.

The transition screen appears again to signify the ninth spot.

Whimsical orchestrated music plays over a space background. "Elements for a successful video game commercial in the 80s!" Jon says as subtitles appear alongside his words.

"Catchy." Weiss blankly said about the title.

"Nerdy kid!" The scene shows a blonde teen with thick nerdy glasses and a white dress shirt putting a game cartridge in an old system. "Check!"

"Not actually a real type of person kid!" The camera focuses on a 'cool' kid with a blue jacket and brown hair. "Check!"

"Little to no gameplay..." The scene shows an 8-bit game depicting what looks like an elf exploring a dark room with green walls, a door and two fireballs. "Checkeroonie!"

"Don't you mean...checkeroonie and cheese?" Yang said, chuckling at her own horrible pun.

The other, gave her blank look. Even Zwei wasn't amused.

"That was the worst pun yet." Weiss stated.

"I agree." Blake said.

Zwei covered his ears and whined, hoping that he wouldn't hear a pun that awful again.

"It was kind of disappointing to be honest." Ruby admitted. Yang crossed her arms and pouted.

"Screw you guys." Yang mumbled to herself.

"Didja see the latest Nintendo newsletter?" The nerdy kid asks his friend, handing him a magazine.

"Whooooa! Nice graphics!" The not-a-real-type-of-person kid exclaims as he gazes at the magazine.

"Ya mean you haven't played it yet?!" The nerdy kid exclaims, adjusting his glasses.

The girls winced at the overall quality of the commercial. "Everything about this is horrible!" Weiss criticized. Blake ear twitched in irritation as she winced.

"Yeah, I hope that we end this part soon. The sound quality is getting to me." Blake stated.

"This is some of the worst commercials had to offer in the way of stereotyping." Jon says. "I mean, who's the demographic here? The cool kid or the nerdy kid?" An image of a man with a cocky grin, slicked back hair and a leather jacket pops up onscreen, followed by another picture of the same man wearing stereotypical nerd glasses.

"That 'cool' kid with the magazine looked like he just got his hands on his dad's Playboy collection!"

Yang chuckled. "Hey Ruby, remember when you accidentally found dad's porn collection a few years back and he caught you leafing through one?" Yang asked her sister with a shit eating grin.

Ruby blushed and silently nodded. This got Weiss and Blake curious.

"What happened afterwards?" Weiss dared to ask.

Ruby looked horrified at the question and gave her loving older sister a begging look, which fell on death eyes.

"It was hilarious, after he caught she asked him why the "pretty ladies were naked."" Yang quoted. "So dad ended up giving her the good ol' fashion Talk. Poor girl wouldn't stop blushing for weeks." Right beside her, Ruby was blushing like mad and was trying to make herself look small.

"Whoa! Nice graphics! I'd like to get my hands on that game!" The 'cool' kid says as he looks at the magazine.

"I mean, who's ever taken a look at a game magazine and been like "Haaly shit! DEM GREEPHICS!" Jon says these words as captions displaying the odd ways he pronounces them flash onscreen. "Little didja know, though, the target demo was actually the gangsta kids!"

"The Legend of Zelda is really rad! Those creatures and Ganon are pretty bad! Octoroks and Tectites and Leevers too! But with your help, our hero pulls through!" The 'cool' kid raps badly while the nerdy kid beatboxes. An image of a man facepalming pops up onscreen.

"I know I'm white, but these kids made me look like fuckin' P Diddy, aight?" Jon says.

"As a rap lover, I can say that I've heard some pretty bad attempts at rapping over the years." Yang stated. "And this has to be one of the worst."

"I agree." Weiss replied. "I don't even like rap and I can honestly say that I heard better."

The transition screen signifies number 8.

Footage of an irritated looking woman sitting in front of a computer is shown."I know a lot of those video game elitists like you guys were like..."

The scene changes to the inside of a cushy bedroom. A cartoon drawing of a snooty looking rich man appears by the bed. "This Dead Space 2 ad campaign is just proving the old gamer stereotype to be true and making us gamers all look bad and childish!" The man's face is replaced by a photoshopped image of a different man wearing a goofy smile.

"Well ya know what, have some GOD DAMN fun for once, huh?!" The man rotates before exploding.

"Yeah you old prudes! Have some fun for once in your life!" Yang exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air.

"You tell them Yang!" Ruby cheered her sister on. Blake rolled her eyes but silently agreed with them. She personally had no qualms with video games nor gamers despite not being one.

"Case any of ya didn't catch the 'Your Mom Hates Dead Space 2 Viral Ad Campaign, let me fill ya in!" The scene shows a first person view of someone entering a room with a computer in it. A blonde middle aged woman with glasses sits down in a chair. "Basically, they took a whole bunch of Middle America Conservative mothers, put them in front of Dead Space 2 and filmed them going "Our nation is going down the drain! Battling Modern Warfares and the sour skittles." The scene shows various mothers reacting to the gruesome, violent Dead Space 2.

"MAVGASS" Blake said.

The others turned and stared at her in confusion. "What?" The three asked at the same time.

"MAVGASS. Mothers Against Video Games and Sour Skittle." Blake shrugged. The girls allowed what the cat faunus said to sink in before they started to laugh.

"Good one Blake." Yang praised as she swiped a tear away from her eye.

"Oh yeah, I'll show you my opinion, this is...it's gross." A woman said, looking uncomfortable. "I HATED it. I...That's awful...No wonder society is so corrupt!" A caption that says 'Overreaction Alert' appears at the bottom of the screen. "We have a society of criminals. If I EVER see it somewhere, I will personally take a hammer and...and slam." As the woman was speaking, a see-through flag and an image of a man with a moustache appears onscreen.

"We will strike the corruption at its source and liberate our children from the corruption of video games!" Yang said in a mock accent, trying to mimic the women's voice.

"Can't you just take it for what it IS? It's FAKE, people! Let me tell ya...Kids aren't that stupid!" The scene shows a young boy in a green striped t-shirt sitting in front of a computer. "Although they're STUPID." The scene shows a little boy repeatedly raising his head up and down in front of a birthday cake, as if trying to blow out the candles with his hair. "But they're not THAT stupid."

"I think that kid might possible be that stupid." Weiss stated, her eye raised at the young boy's attempts to blow out the last candle.

The footage shows a sci-fi game depicting a man in a spacesuit fighting off various horrific looking aliens. "Just because they see killing in a video game doesn't mean they're gonna go off and do it in real life! No shit, do I really have to explain this?! Crazy mass murderers have been around since BEFORE Pong, actually. Space War...You're gonna...fuckin' comment... Be a..." The camera zooms in on what looks to be a comment section on some sort of video website.

"Bitch?" Yang guessed, filling in the blank that Jon left.

"Where'd they get their training? The Andy Griffith show?" The scene shows a black and white footage of a man and a young boy walking down a dirt path in some woods, carrying fishing poles.

"There's no implied message to this ad campaign. The meme of it is basically just this lady doin' her thing!" The girls are shown footage of an African-American woman screaming and reacting to the gameplay.

The girls snorted in laughter. "Overreacting much?" Blake asked out loud, trying to keep herself from bursting out laughing.

Jon laughs. "That is NEVER gonna get old... Y'all may shit on it. But ya know what? I'm just here to have a good time, and a good time was certainly had watchin' these. Thanks, EA!"

"Yeah thanks, we really enjoyed that laugh." Ruby stated after calming down.

"Number 7"

"Does the Wii really need commercials?" Jon asks as a logo, followed by a hand holding a remote shows. "Back in 2006 and 7, everyone was going NUTS over the thing!" Footage shows a large crowd of people standing in the street cheering as a car drives by with a game console photoshopped on top as two men ran up and threw a sign that had an ad for Marlboro at the car.

"Um...I don't think their cheering." Ruby pointed out, feeling that throwing signs at what people are cheering for is actually cheering for them.

"Who knows, some people are just crazy like that." Blake stated right before remembering a White Fang protest that she went to as a young kitten Faunus where she tossed her sign at a Schnee company executive that called them 'flea bitten animals.'

"You couldn't even shimmy down the block wit-cha homies 'tout hearin' from dem rooftops. Ya hear bout dem motion-This joke is over." The footage shows the same cool looking man from earlier walking down the street as captions appear onscreen.

"Oh come on! You can't just quit on a joke halfway through!" Yang complained. "You have to stick with your guns until it's over, no matter whether or not you realize that it was a lame joke."

"Is that why you keep saying those horrid puns of your?" Weiss asked, giving Yang a knowing smirk. Yang glared at the heiress.

"Watch it Schnee or I might tie you down and make you listen to every joke and pun I have as PUNishment." Yang threatened as her eyes becoming red, making another pun as a way to illustrate the hell she was about to unleash.

Weiss paled. "Please no! I'll be good!" Weiss quickly said, deciding that punishment was worse than death or any other form of torture.

"But here we have the Re would rike to pray' ad campaign. The most politically correct commercial Nintendo's EVER put out!" Jon explained, making himself sound like a stereotype of how Japanese people speak.

"So what's goin' on? We got two Japanese business dudes drivin' around town in a smart car lookin' for sushi or Yao Ming or some shit, and they're goin' door to door disturbin' entire families, and the families open the door and they're like "Wha-dah wussgoinon? We ain't got no geishas." And the two Japanese dudes are like..."

"We would like to play!" The two Japanese men hold up a remote and bow.

"I don't know why, but I think he's making racist jokes about those two men." Blake observed.

"And then they're just havin' the time of their lives playin' Wii Sports like they're old folks in a retirement home! Just like Nintendo always wanted!"

An image of a game box entitled Wii Part appears onscreen in front of a hellish background. "Kill the hardcore market!"

"So is he saying that this 'Wii' console was made for old people?" Ruby asked.

"I don't know, but with a name like that, it's no wonder he's making fun of it." Weiss stated.

"What happens if they run into some bumpkins who aren't all Nintendo crazy?"

Ominous music plays as the two Japanese men walk out of their vehicle. They approach a very sketchy looking man, who gives them a dirty look. Another man arrives, giving a similar look.

"Oh! This is getting intense!" Yang said excitedly.

The scene suddenly cuts to the two men playing the Wii as high-pitched, upbeat music plays in the background.

"And it's gone." Yang's excitement deflated.

"Number 6" The robotic parrot said.

The shot focuses on a large building with a sign that says 'Sony' on it in front of said building. "So one day Sony was doing ALLLL the cocaine" As Jon said this, a faded image of said drug appeared in the background.

"I bet that they saw a lot of weird shit." Yang stated.

"Yeah, I've seen enough members of White Fang try cocaine to know that this won't end well." Blake said sadly. Many times throughout her time with the terrorist organization, she and Adam had come across other members who tried and got addicted to addictive drugs to get over the stress.

It wasn't a beautiful sight in any imagination of the word.

"And they were like-Hey Steve, we got like, four million of these units to deploy, how do you wanna sell 'em?" Jon spoke for a Japanese man in a business suit who had a mouth that flapped up and down, splitting his head in half whenever he talked. Next to the man was a black game console that said Playstation 3 on the side. There was a moment of silence...Then the man opened his mouth and the background changed to a swirling, rotating rainbow, and musical notes and a pinata came from his mouth.

"That's trippy." Weiss said at the randomness of what they just witnessed.

Suddenly, the shot focused on a blank, white room containing nothing but the PS3 and what appears to be a baby doll. The camera slowly zooms in on said doll, which has it's eyes closed, as ominous music plays in the background. It pans over to the PS3, then focuses on the doll again.

"...what does this have to do with gaming?" Ruby asked as the doll's eyes snap open.

The baby lets out an eerie, robotic coo as it looks at the Playstation. It giggles as it reaches out for it. A caption in yellow words saying "Why." appears onscreen. The baby laughs again and another caption saying "Why would you." appears.

"I...guess that's kind of cute." Weiss said.

The baby laughs again, but this time in the voice of an adult.

"And now it's creepy." Weiss changed her mind, looking slightly disturbed at the whole commercial in general.

The baby's eyes widen and it lets out an eerie croaking squeaky noise. "How could you?" appears in captions. The camera zooms in on the baby's eyes as it tears up. Looking closely, flames can be seen in its eyes.

The four huntress's in training just stared at the screen.

"What the hell is wrong with this commercial?!" Weiss yelled hysterically.

"I don't know!" Yang cried.

"I'm scared Yang." Ruby whimpered as she went into the fetal position right before Yang hugged her to her chest.

"I know baby sis, I am too." Yang said softly. Blake was hugging Zwei to her chest, Zwei was covering his eyes with his ears and whimpering.

"I know, Sony, okay, you need to sell your consoles, but what is this about?!" Jon exclaims. "Oh right! I see! I got your angle with this whole demonic baby thing! You're selling to the promising demographic of ABSOLUTELY NO ONE!"

"Seriously! Who in their right mind would okay this demon infected commercial!?" Weiss demanded.

"And you might THINK that this is their first offense, but I IMPLORE you to check this out!"

The scene focuses on a black and white screenshot of what looks to be a squirrel standing in front of a tree.

"Come out and play!" The squirrel calls out, his eyes having manic swirls in them. Another squirrel peeks out of a treehole. "I can't! I'm playin' Nut!"

There is a brief silence. Then a reddish tint appears on the screen and the camera slowly zooms in on the squirrel as organ music plays.

"This whole situation is plain nuts." Yang stated, getting nods from the others.

"Honestly, for something as big as the PS3, you just need something that'll stick. And stick with us it did! For many a sleepless night!"

The footage shows a man panicking in a bed as a baby crawling on the ceiling of his room rotates it's head 360 degrees to look at him. "NOOOOOOO!" The man screams. "STOOOOOOP!" 'Thanks Sony!' appears in captions.

"I think that we're going to have a few of those as well." Blake solemnly said.

"Yeah, thanks Sony you pricks." Yang said bitterly, knowing that the entire team was in for some rough nights ahead of them.

"Number 5!"

Jon is sitting at his desk, looking at the camera. "I know I'm supposed to be sitting up here being Mr. Commentary Prom Queen King, but how am I supposed to comment on this? Let's take a look at it..."

The scene shows a young boy opening a birthday present, surrounded by his friends. He looks overjoyed when he sees the contents of the wrapping paper.

Yang and Ruby sighed fondly at the scene, remembering the birthday parties they used to have when they were younger.

His mother walks in with the birthday cake, and everyone in the room begins to sing the birthday song. But the boy isn't looking too pleased...

"I have a bad feeling about this." Blake said. And sure enough, things escalated quickly when the boy got to his feet.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" The boy exclaims, making the room go silent. The boy looks at the cake.

"What the FUCK is this?!" He exclaims before slapping the cake out of his mother's hands, sending it crashing to the floor.

The four girls plus dog was stunned silent at the mean spirited action.

"Fuckin' SPONGE CAKE?!" The boy says furiously as his mother looks upset. "FUCK!"

As the boy sits back down, a caption that says 'INSTANT ROCKSTAR' appears onscreen, followed by an image of the game, Jam Sessions.

"What in the actual hell!?" Ruby finally found her voice again. "How can he be so mean and do that to his own mother?! That ungrateful brat should be grateful that he even has a mom that would go out of her way to make a cake for him!" Ruby then started hyperventilating angrily as Blake and Weiss rubbed her back soothingly and Yang took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

After a few minutes, Ruby calmed down and they continued watching the countdown.

Jon is sitting at his desk once more. "Uh, let's see, what was that game rated again? Oh yeah, E10+."

"That just makes it so much worse." Weiss stated.

"Yeah, that's it, I'm done, it's over." The classic Looney Toons fade out screen plays on the screen, focusing on an image of Jacques sitting on a doorframe, the words 'That's all folks' appearing in the middle. Jacques says "That's all folks".

"Thank Oum for that." Blake said, glad that the commercial was over. She quickly looked over to see that Ruby was doing a lot better now that it was over and done with.

"Number 4"

"Long, long ago, before a game console was judged by how much brown and muscles it could simulate, it was judged by the amounts of bits that it had. So the question is...what exactly IS a bit? Well fuck if I know, but if it had more of 'em, OOOOOOH YEEEAH!"

"AAAAAAH YEEEEAH!" Yang yelled.

"If you look back, you can clearly see the evidence of bit importance everywhere. TurboGraffix 16, Nintendo 64...But I mean, we all knew at the core it was all about the software. Everyone but uh...Atari."

"Hey! That's the console I looked at yesterday!" Blake said after seeing the image of the N64 appearing on the screen, remembering that she picked the day they discovered the capsule.

"Really?!" Yang said with excitement. "Maybe we can bring it out sometime and play it."

Ruby's eyes lit up. "That would be so cool!" Ruby exclaimed excitedly. Weiss rolled her eyes.

"I think I would just watch you guys play. Games aren't really my thing." Weiss told them.

Ruby gave her a sad look. "But Weiss, it would be more fun if all four of us play together." Ruby argued. Weiss was about to say no but Ruby's pout made her waver.

"...Fine, but only if the game looks interesting." Weiss said, making a compromise that would make them both happy.

"YAY!" Ruby cheered happily.

The scene cuts to a classroom, apparently 'Video Game Marketing 101' judging by the sign.

"What do you believe your system is the most ADVANCED in the universe?" The teacher says as a man looks a bit baffled. "Let's review the numbers." The scene cuts to a chalkboard as the woman looks over it. "Sega Genesis is 16 Bit. 3DO is 32 bits. The Atari Jaguar is 64 bits! Which is more advanced? CLIFFORD!" She calls on one of her students.

"Oh my Oum, we're not even in a real classroom and I'm already feeling bored." Yang moaned.

"And she's talking like she's talking to children, not the adults that is actually in her class." Blake pointed out.

"Uh, who hired this lady?" Jon asks. "Seriously? THIS was going to move your systems? THIS lady was gonna make people wanna buy an Atari Jaguar?!" An arrow and a question mark appear next to said lady. "No. Nooo!"

"Well, I mean, she must be right, 64 is a bigger number than both 32 AND 16 combined...Lets see what all those bits can do!"

The scene shows an awkward-looking blocky blue car driving in an empty world of brown, a blocky plane flying in an equally blocky room, a very blocky man walking around a cave, a live action puzzle game and some kind of sidescroller.

Yang busted out laughing. "Oh man, these games look like crap!" Yang said as she held her sides as she continued to laugh hysterically.

"Man. Numbers sure are great!"

"Yes, yes they are." Weiss agreed with Jon.

"Speaking of numbers, I wonder what commercial is going to be on number 3?" Ruby wondered. Her question was answered when Jacque appeared on the screen and said "Number 3" in his robotic voice and a scene showing a brown dog sniffing the ground played. Zwei wagged his tail and gave a soft bark at the game dog.

"Let's face it, it's not necessarily that things were BETTER when we were kiddies, it's just that we had less to worry about and everything was about Cheese Nips. I dunno."

"Those look good." Ruby said as she examined the box of cheese nips on screen.

"That said though, there were just some things that were...inherently good, no matter what your age. Two unrelated things as such are Robin Williams and Ocarina of Time."

"Hold on...What's that? What's that off in the distance? What's that on the horizon? Could it be?"

Suddenly, an image of a blonde man with pointy ears wearing a green tunic and the head of a smiling man slowly floated toward each other as inspirational music plays in the background. The two things fuse..and become the elf-like blonde man, with the other man's face.

"That's a weird fusion." Weiss stated.

"Yeah, why does he have a beard when neither of them had a beard beforehand?" Blake wondered.

Gameplay from another game is shown. "The first time I saw you, I knew we'd be linked forever. For you, I'd travel to the four corners of the world. I'd faced adversity. I became a hero."

"I have to say, that narrator sounds amazing." Weiss said as the others nodded in agreement.

"Dad..." A voice interrupts the narrator.

"I wonder who that is." Ruby wondered.

"I saved your kingdom!"

"Dad?" The scene cuts to a young woman, then shortly after to an elderly man with a beard.

"That explains the beard." Yang said out loud.

"Yes, Zelda?" The man replies, turning to face his daughter.

"Are you mixing me up with the princess again?" The woman asks, looking amused and a bit baffled. The man shrugs.

"Hard to say, you're both pretty magical."

"Aww, that's so sweet," Ruby said as she swiped a tear from her eye. "This is so much better than the other commercial." Yang smiled and wrapped her arm around the red haired girl's shoulders.

Suddenly, the image begins to rotate around rapidly as a rainbow background and a caption that says "THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER" appears.

"Wow, Robin Williams and this game must have been very big back in their time." Blake said.

"Number 2" The robotic bird said

"In the current year of 2011, Mario Kart's got so many incarnations they decided to give up and name the newest one Mario Kart 7. ...Good name guys. GG. Regroup next week."

"Maybe if they didn't make so many, it wouldn't have been a problem." Weiss pointed out.

"But it wasn't ALWAYS this way. Who remembers the very FIRST Mario Kart? Yeah. THAT one."

The camera focuses on an SNES with a copy of Super Mario Kart inside it. "What was the first thing that goes through your mind when you think of THAT one? Is it blinding speeds? Is it chaos? Is it epic maneuvers?"

"That would be an epic race." Yang stated, an urge to go drag racing on her sports bike like she did before Beacon.

"No. No, not at all. That one sucks. That's just my opinion, apparently, because this guy thinks it's F-Zero 3150."

"Let's go racing!" The announcer begins over footage of the game. The quality wasn't the best, and the announcer was talking rather quickly, so the girls had to guess what he was saying. "Super Mario Kart Funny Car MADNESS! Only on Super NES! Turn the track into a giant MUD PIT! Or hover on ice! Or on asphalt! It's WILD! Reach out for the big boys! Bowser has been..." At that point it became borderline impossible to decipher him.

"Whoa slow down there, we can barely understand you!" Blake said as the announcer continued his current pace.

"Yoshi's go-kart REALLY GOES! Mushrooms! Banana peels! Turtle shells! DYN-O-MITE! Check your rearview mirror and make a mean test! Or go to battle mode and ruin his day! 2 speeds! Fast and WAY too fast!"

"How is he able to talk that fast and long without breathing?" Ruby asked.

"I didn't even hear him pause long enough to take a quick breath." Weiss observed.

"Either way, he really knows how to get someone bumped to play a racing game." Yang replied.

Suddenly, the screen froze with a pause icon on the upper corner of the screen and the sound of a record scratching.

"Hold on a second...Hold on a second. I'm not lettin' that slide. Let's go back." Jon said before he rewound the clip.

"2 speeds! Fast and WAY too fast!" The announcer said

"Two speeds. Fast. Way too fast...Brilliant."

"Ruby is certainly fast, much faster than the karts we've seen in this commercial." Blake stated. Ruby beamed at the compliment.

The scene cuts to a young boy in a green tunic and hat digging into a treasure chest. He then holds a coin with the number one on it above his head.

"Well that's different." Blake pointed out.

"Doesn't that kid look like that one green guy in the commercial with the man and his daughter?" Weiss asked.

"Hey, you're right!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Maybe their part of the same franchise or something." Yang theorized, getting nods from the others.

"For the last ten years, I've heard people knock Halo for no other discernible reason than the bandwagon effect, and every time I heard the callous argument that it's just a shit overrated game, I thought to myself the exact same thing." Jon is talking over gameplay of a futuristic first person shooter. "Why can't they just...believe?"

"Cause haters gonna hate." Yang said.

"I don't see why they would hate it, it looks so good." Ruby said, watching the gameplay, paying close attention to the armor and weapons.

Suddenly, an image comes zooming in on the screen, depicting a group of soldiers crying.

"Whoa! What happened?! How'd we get here?! How exactly DO you market a game that'll make more money than some small countries do in an entire year? Easy you go 'Oh my God, it's five million dollars, make some shit. And make some shit they did. It's good shit."

The scene shows a series of still images. A man in a green spacesuit taking cover behind a rock. A group of alien creatures getting blown away by an explosion. An African-American soldier staring forward in shocked awe. The still, screaming face of one of the aliens as it's blasted off. A soldier carrying one of his fellow soldiers on his shoulder. One of the aliens holding another soldier over its head, supposedly about to tear them in two. All set to an ominous piano track.

The team just silently drank in the beautiful imagery and music. They couldn't help but appreciate the little details that went into the faces of each soldier's face. While the images were breath taking good, the four young women couldn't help but feel sorry for the soldiers that had looks of suffering on their faces.

"The Halo Believe campaign is my favorite video game marketing campaign of all time, simply because of how much emotion it was filled with and how it made me wanna become...part of the adventure, its genius! It just feels so REAL! Raw! And not to mention, these commercials were just plain beautiful. Y'know I don't really have anything else to say. See ya guys next time! And hey, don't drive fast on the wrong side of the road...it's dangerous." After he said those words, the screen went blank.

"That last one...was certainly something." Yang stated.

"Yeah, some of them were good and the others...not so much." Ruby pointed out, remembering the commercial where the kid cussed out his mother because of sponge cake and how much she hated it.

"No kidding, the people from the past had some weird tastes in commercials." Weiss stated.

"At least they appear to have some real gems in a pile of weird ones." Blake said as the Jontron intro appears onscreen once again.

"Looks like it's time for the next episode." Blake said as they got comfortable, wondering what the video gamer review had in store for them.

"It's been a while." Jon started the review while sitting at his desk. "It's been a while. Now I'm not one to do the whole 'retro review' thing...Cuz, you know, it's a bit overdone on the internet..." Two images of angry looking men [The Irate Gamer and Game Dude] appear onscreen.

"But I DID start off that way, y'know, being inspired by people like James Rolfe and Spoony." Said people pop up onscreen. "...And they kiss." Red lips appear over the mouths of the images, and they move closer together, about to kiss.

Yang snorted in laughter while Ruby blushed. Weiss simply rolled her eyes while Blake continued to watch silently, though there was a small red tint to her cheeks.

"But you know, there's a game from my childhood, y'know, that's always mystified me, and I thought to myself recently, I can't go my whole life without sharing this game with the world."

"I think it's safe to say that maybe three of you watching this even know what the hell I'm about to talk about. So...Y'know, you're probably...happy to see it again, 'cause no one else..."

"Well that leaves us out." Blake pointed out the obvious.

"Probably something really obscure even back then since he said that." Weiss pointed out

"Let's cut the bullshit and chat and get right to it, shall we? All right." Jon said as the camera zooms in before returning to normal. "Jacques! BRING IT DOWN!" A poorly photoshopped photo of a falcon swoops down with a screech, a game cartridge in its talons, and places the cartridge on the table.

"So majestic!" Yang said before wiping a fake tear out of her eye.

"Holy shit. I'm a falcon." Jacques says while on top of the cartridge before flying away without knocking the game down. The girls laughed Jacque's surprise.

Jon grabs the game and holds it in front of the camera. "DINO CITY!"

"Dino...City?" Weiss said carefully, trying to wrap her head around the odd name for a game title.

Yang and Ruby grinned. "Aw Yeah! A game about dinosaurs!" Ruby said in excitement.

"This should be interesting." Blake commented.

The scene changes to show a very nice house with a swimming pool in the backyard, only to show a caption that says "This isn't my backyard.

"Nice house." Weiss quickly commented before Jon started to talk.

"Now, for all I know, this game could have crash landed in my backyard straight from space, 'cause I've never heard of anyone owning it before or since!" The game falls into the scene from space.

"It would be cool to get free games that came from space." Yang stated.

"It would probably be a terrible game that some alien's didn't want." Blake couldn't help but point out, making Yang cringe slightly.

"...Still would be a free game." Yang argued. "If it sucks then we can sell it. Instant profit." Blake looked like she wanted to say something, but stopped herself when she couldn't think of a good arguement.

"Good point." Blake conceded.

"Only one thing left to do! Show you...the game..." Jon says this last part with wide eyes and a low, ominous tone.

"Sounds like serious business." Ruby remarked.

"Now if I could just remember how to play this thing..." Jon thinks to himself. The scene is shown from his point of view, the camera shakey as he holds the game cartridge.

"What is he doing?" Weiss wondered.

Yang shrugs. "I don't know, but I bet it's going to be funny." Yang theorized.

"Uh..." He attempts to place the cartridge on top of a Playstation 3. "No, it's no good on PS3..."

"Not that one." Ruby told the screen.

He is shown attempting to put it in a different console. "It was silly to think it would be on the 2..."

"Or that one." Blake joined in.

He then approaches a computer tower. "Uh, let's go to the PC tray, see what happens..." He places the cartridge down and attempts to close the tray. The cartridge predictably doesn't fit and falls to the ground. "Well that's unfortunate."

"Yes...yes it is." Weiss said, starting to get annoyed.

He then pulls out a small handheld game console. "The DS can usually play games, so..." He attempts to place the cartridge into a small slot at the bottom of the console.

"Oh come on! The cartridge is the same size as that console!" Weiss scolded, her anger starting to rise.

"Oh, here's a done deal, it's the wireless router..." Jon tries to place the game on top of his internet router. "That's not working."

"Yeah...that doesn't look like a gaming console by any stretch of the imagination." Blake pointed out.

"Dishwasher?" Jon asks, placing the game in his dishwasher and closing it. "No."

"...Is he even trying anymore?" Weiss asked.

Blake shrugged.

"Dishwasher?" Jon puts the game in his dishwasher a second time and closes it again. "No."

"Dishwasher?" Jon puts the game in the dishwasher a third time. "Yeah..."

"If it didn't work the first time, then why would you bother doing it multiple times!" Weiss snapped while Yang tried to hide her snicker.

"OH MY GOD, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID, THE SMBS!" The camera shakes wildly as he pulls a game out of an old looking console.

"Thank Oum!" Weiss threw her arms up in the air, happy that he finally got it right, only for him to insert the game in upside down and begins to sing to himself.

"..." Weiss glared at the screen as Yang finally stopped trying to hide her amusement and started to laugh.

Ruby would have laughed too if she wasn't being crept out by Jon's low tone song.

A screen with the irem logo appears on the screen, with smaller irems filling the screen. "Ah yes, this game was made by Irem. As in... Iremember them! ...Oh wait! No I don't!"

Yang, who had finally stopped laughing at Weiss's anger, started laughing again. "Oh Oum, that pun was amazing!" Yang exclaimed. Blake, Ruby, Weiss, and Zwei couldn't help but agree.

The scene changes and shows two kids standing in a room with a large computer screen with other machines attached to it. "The storyline here is that two wonderfully unique kids Jamie and Timmy [Captions detailing them as uninspired and generic appear onscreen] are dickin' around in their dad's laboratory."

"Is it okay to enter the lab, Jamie asks. Well, it seems a bit too late for that question, doesn't it? Ya know, seeing as you're already standing in the lab?"

"Yes, the proper time to ask that question is right before you enter a place you might not be allowed to enter or when the subject to enter said place comes up." Blake explained.

"Speaking from experience?" Ruby asked.

Blake was silent for a moment. "No comment." Blake replied.

"But much to their dismay, an accidental button press causes them to be sucked into the TV Screen." The screen shows Timmy being sucked into the center of the screen with a terrified expression on his face before a text box replaced the cut scene. "Timmy entered the TV world when he touched his dad's science...device...?" Jon read out loud in disbelieve.

Weiss raised her eye. "Science Device? Really? They couldn't come up with something better? Like Teleportation device or-" Weiss started before Ruby inturrupted.

"Transporter?" Ruby cut Weiss off.

"Exactly." Weiss said, flashed a smile at Ruby.

The video cuts back to Jon sitting in his chair with Jacque on his shoulder, mouthing 'Oh...My...God...' while the letter's 'OMG' appeared on the screen next to his head

The camera zooms in towards 'Science Device' and inserts quotation marks on both ends of the words. "Hmm...If Timmy's dad isn't careful, his 'science device' just might land him ten to twenty years in prison." To illustrate his point, metal bars slides from the left side of the screen and partially covers up the text box.

"I hope the dad has a harmonica." Yang said. "Because he's going to need it."

"So where do the kids get sucked off to, you ask? ...I dunno, Dino City, I guess? Why? How? Who cares? Let's just play this Dino City, bro."

"All right...I'm a boy, I can identify with boys, so...I'll pick the boy! Yeah! Let's play some fuckin' Dino City, bro!" Captions appear that say 'Let us partake in some Dino City. Brother.'

"That's a interesting translation." Weiss said in appreciation.

The gameplay begins. Music composed by what sounds like whistles and Jamaican drums plays as the boy rides a dinosaur that punches enemies. Zwei barked a few times at the anthropomorphic dinosaur.

"Okay, so this is uh... Dino City, I guess... Not so much city, but hey, there's tons of dinos, works for me!"

"Yeah, okay, not too fond of this character's punch, let's try the other one."

"I don't know what your problem is; but I would love to be able to punch Cavemen right in their stupid bearded faces." Yang said, pounding a fist in her open palm.

Jon returns to the character select screen. "...Hmm...How do you get that there other character?" He looks at the silhouetted unlockable characters. "Left and right don't work...Hmm...Up and down don't work either, although I don't see why you'd use that...Oh I know! Select will do the trick!" Jon presses Select, and got no results.

"Looks like he's in a fine pickle right now." Blake observed.

"...No? What. How do you select the god damn character?" The Character selection screen spins around rapidly as Jon tried to figure this out this conundrum. "R? No. L? No. Start? No. B? Y? X? A?" Unlike the other times, the second Jon pressed the A button on the controller, the female characters were highlighted. "A?! The only button you can select the character with is A?! What the fuck?! Why?! A is the least likely button you'd ever think to use in this situation! Should be right or left or select, not A! Okay...Before I get stuck rambling about this, let's just move on."

"Yeah, because you haven't already rambled for a while now about this." Weiss pointed out.

"THIS dinosaur, the...girl one, I guess, is way better 'cause you get a projectile attack instead of that stupid punch."

"Hey! Don't dis the punches!" Yang pouted.

"Man, such a weird game! Pretty good graphics and music and it's got a nice atmospheric feel to it!" Jon said in a weird voice with an image of a older man on the side of the screen, moving his mouth up and down as he talks.

"You have your normal stuff, shoot, jump, make your dinosaur catatonic and use a little girl to freeze shit up! Y'know, your normal stuff!"

"It's normal for Weiss." Ruby stated.

"Well...yes I do suppose that being able to use ice for attacks IS one of my main methods of attacking, but I do use the other elements to my advantage." Weiss explained, feeling the need to defend herself.

"Whatever you say Ice Queen." Yang said dismissively. Weiss glared at Yang's head, pouting a little by being called that nickname.

"Now there's one thing you gotta remember in Dinosity...Red door is in and yellow door is...SO last week."

"I wonder if Coco would have an opinion on door colors." Blake wondered, knowing that Coco was into fashion and whats in or out.

"It's kinda cool, cause this essentially means the game has a branching path sort of thing goin' on. So you can technically experience the game with different ways on different playthroughs. Usually the red door is harder to get to, and sometimes leads you to a bonus stage. Kinda reminds me of Super Mario Land, yeah, I played that one."

"That's a neat way to design a game, letting the character basically choose the difficulty at will." Ruby said with awe.

"Really, though, this game has some damn nice visuals for the Super Nintendo era. I mean, look at this... background changes from day to sunset to night. That's nice! I like that! Thassalright by me!"

"He has a point, the changing time is a nice touch." Blake said, appreciating the effort that the creators of the game made to do something like that.

"And hey, can someone tell me what's the deal with timers that don't actually go by real seconds? In Super Mario Bros, the timer acts like it just did a line of cocaine." The screen shows said game, with the timer going by at a very rapid pace. "And in Dino City, it looks like it just shot up a needle full of heroine!" It shows the Dino City clock ticking by slowly.

"Seems like game timers have a drug problem to me." Yang commented.

"Seems kinda pointless to me. People are accustomed to real seconds, not...schmeconds or whatever these are. Or whatever THESE are..." The screen shows some spiky green fruits.

The girls looked at the image of the fruit in confusion while Zwei tilted his head in puzzlement.

It was Weiss that asked the question that was on everyone's mind. "What...are those?" Weiss asked.

"Maybe they're some kind of fruit like a melon." Ruby guessed.

"Or maybe a nut." Blake added.

"I think that you might be right Blake." Yang said. "They definitely look like they need to be cracked open before eating."

"There are some pretty cool boss battles in this game. Ones with stone pillars..." Said boss is a caveman operating a lever that launches blocks of a stone pillar at the player. "Ones that are quite flamin'..." The boss appears to be a long-necked dino that opens its mouth impossibly wide with a transparent rainbow flag appearing on the screen for a split second. "And some fat birds! I...think...?"

"Heh heh, chubby bird." Ruby giggled at the robust avian.

"That looks like my Uncle Montesque." Jacques says.

"You have an Uncle MONTESQUE?" Jon asks.

"Yes. He died in the pigeon harvester in 2546." Jon stares at Jacques weirdly.

"Oh..." Ruby said sadly, feeling down that the robotic bird's uncle was killed.

Blake briefly wondered what Uncle Montesque tasted like before shaking those thoughts out of her head.

"The enemies in this game, I tell ya, they're somethin' else. They're not even congruid with one another. Bouncy things, gulpy things, red ballerina guys, cavemen, cavegirls..."

The camera focuses on a dancing cavegirl as the music plays. Jon is also shown dancing to the music.

Yang and Ruby quite liked the beat and decided to join Jon in his funny little dance with huge grins on their faces. Blake and Weiss watched in amusement at their antics.

"Okay, so...this part. How do I get down?" Jon is trapped on an icy slope above a spiked enemy. "I can't attack them 'cause I can't get in range... and jumping on them just bounces me back up. What do I do?" Jon falls onto the spiked enemy, taking damage but also killing it and allowing him to progress. "...Oh. Of course. LET MY DINOSAUR FALL ON THEM. Well, at least I fe-" Jon is cut off by the fact that he has fallen into a bottomless pit and died. The camera does an extreme closeup as ominous Latin chanting is heard and the devil fades into the background. The death scene is shown again.

"Ouch, tough break." Weiss said in sympathy.

"What is THIS?!" Jon exclaims, a blue arrow pointing at the characters as they fall into the pit. "What is that?! What is my...?! What is?! GRAAAGH!"

"I can see why he's so flustered, there was no conceivable way that he, or anyone could have known about tat pit beforehand unless they played before." Blake remarked.

"Okay, so it's not hard enough figuring out what the hell to do here, but then there's a pit that's pretty much impossible to avoid right below it?!"

"This game's one of those games where you gotta harvest lives or there's no way you're gonna make it through. So here we go! Got nine lives and I'm gonna get my tenth life!"

Jon fulfills the requirements for an extra life. "Hmm. Still got nine lives there. Nine...? NINE?!"

"So wait, if he said that if he doesn't stock up on a lot of lives he won't make it through and the maximum is 9, doesn't that mean that it'll be impossible for him to beat the game?" Ruby pondered.

"Basically." "Looks like it." "He's boned." "Warf." Weiss, Blake, Yang, and Zwei answered respectively at once.

The scene shows a German man with a moustache repeatedly slamming his hand onto a desk and shouting "Nein! Nein! Nein!", all while the word and number '9' appear onscreen.

"Nine is the maximum life you can get?!" Jon exclaims. "Okay, let's give Dinosity the benefit of the doubt here and say that was a glitch."

Jon collects another extra life. Nothing happens.

"Well that didn't work." Weiss stated.

"Nope. Mm mm. Nawp. Nine is it, that's it."

"Hmm. Iremember why no one remembers Irem. 'Cause they can't program higher than nine!"

Yang snickered at the name pun again.

"How'd they make ALL of this, but they can't higher than THIS?!" The number nine is shown onscreen.

"But Jon, 9 is the only number you need." Yang said in a creepy whisper.

"Yang stop that, it's creepy!" Ruby begged, shuddering at the creepiness of Yang's tone and words. Blake and Weiss nodded in agreement with cringes, making Yang pout.

"You guys are no fun." Yang moaned.

An image is shown of a screaming man standing in water, rapidly cutting back to the same image in the background as Jon spews gibberish and the words 'MENTAL BREAKDOWN' appears onscreen.

"Guess what. This is fun. I'll be better obscure company and let it slide."

Jon is killed by getting hit by a flying enemy on what appears to be a roller coaster made of skulls.

"Alas poor Jon, we knew him so well." Blake quoted, taking off her bow and clenched it to her chest.

"R.I.P." Ruby added solemnly.

"Oh, damn it, I died, it would have been helpful in this case if it counted those little lives I got, 'cause it's so hard to get them in the first place. Now I'm down to..." He seems to have nine lives still "N-Nine...?"

"Are...we missing something?" Weiss asked, not knowing what was going on.

"Have I broken the game?" Jon asked in bewilderment. "Did they not even think anyone would GET this many lives?"

Jon is shown dying again. "Ah shit!" He respawns and is down to eight lives. "Oh! Oh NOW I'm down to eight! So the game was COUNTING my lives, but it just didn't SHOW it!"

"Maybe the game makers made a mistake or they weren't able to program it beyond 9." Ruby said in defense of the Irem corporation.

"Or they got lazy." Yang offered.

"I'd believe either one." Blake stated.

"OK NO YEA OK NO THASSFINE! NOTHING WRONG THERE! I DON'T SEE! IDON'TSEEANYTHINGWRONGTHERE!" He says.

Jon is shown putting the game in the dishwasher again. "Dishwasher? YES."

"Maybe that's the best place for it." Weiss said.

"Okay...Moving on... So, here's the obligatory castle level. Yeah, you saw it comin'. 'Cause what's a Dino CITY without a Dino CASTLE?!"

"Oh look, it's the king of Dino City!" Jon is fighting a large blue dinosaur with a blue jacket and red underbelly. "More like the king of fuckin' around! Look at this guy, he doesn't even consider us a threat! He's got his hands in his freakin' POCKETS!" Indeed, the dinosaur has his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"Wow, get a load of Mr. Gives-No-Shit over there." Yang said mockingly.

"You know what? I RESPECT this dino! He couldn't give a shit about two corn cobs! In fact he's SOOO sly and handsome, that he even changes his jackets mid-fight!" The dino teleports and now has a grey jacket rather than a blue one.

"I know that doing that is kind of insulting towards the player, but you have to admit that being able to teleport like that and appear again with different cloths on is coll." Ruby admitted.

"You said it Rubes, I can already tell that Coco would love to be able to do that too." Yang stated.

"How much of a less of a shit could ya give about your life? That's like if Bowser was like 'Aw, Mario, ya got me. I just need a new tie, ya like?" The scene shows a giant turtle dragon fighting a short red plumber in a hover car. Said plumber tossed a small metal turtle at said creature, damaging him. As he recovers, a blue neck tie is pasted on his chest.

"I don't give a shit, here's some bowling balls." The car flips over and drops a giant black ball onto the stage that rolls forward.

"Let's hope that he rolls a gutter ball." Yang jokingly said. "But I could easily punch that pebble into pieces."

"And THAT ends the game. WHOO! Look at those effects!" The dinosaur king floats up, stretches and fades away. "MOOOODE7!"

"I can't even imagine how painful it would be to be stretched like that as you died." Weiss commented grimly. All four of them took a moment to imagine what it would be like to get stretched before shaking those disturbing thoughts off.

"So this birdie comes and grabs that McMuffin, and flies out the super castle! ...We were in a super castle...? Ok..."

"That looks more like a tower then a castle." Blake pointed out.

"So now we're back SOMEWHERE, where Forry informs us that we've got the fuse box and we've saved the world! Hurrah!"

"Maybe someday we'll save the world from people like Roman and the Grimm." Blake said with a hopeful tone.

"That would be awesome!" Ruby exclaimed, throwing her arms up in excitement.

"Yeah...Team RWBY, the Savoirs of the world." Yang said dreamily, already hearing the crowds chanting their names.

"That...sounds nice." Weiss said with a small smile.

"WAIT A MINUTE! Who the FUCK is FORRY?!"

"Maybe he's another relative of Jacques." Ruby

"Can we go back to the real world now, asks Jamie.

"Yes! We can! Dont't worry anymore!" Indeed, there is a spelling mistake.

"Looks like an oversight on their part." Blake observed.

"Oh, don't worry, Forry! I wont't!"

"Look at these exclamation marks!" Said exclamation marks are slanted. "It's like they're caught in a freakin' hurricane!" A car and a cow blow past the screen. "Just cracks me up!"

"His comment really...blew me away." Yang joked, a massive grin on her face and looking at the others expectedly. Her three partners groaned while Zwei shook his head rapidly.

"...I'll take that as a "We don't like your hilarious pun Yang." Yang said with a sour looking face as she turned towards the screen with a pout.

The screen focuses on the kids in front of a blue background. The girl puts on a pair of glasses. "Wait...WAIT. Who's that?!" The camera zooms in on the girl. "THAT'S what the girl looked like this whole time?!" A comparison is shown between the image and the girl's sprite.

"It might be because the system it was on didn't allow it." Ruby theorized.

"Or again, they were too lazy to put the details into their sprites." Yang decided to but her two cents in.

"In fact...In fact, yeah, NEITHER of these kids look remotely like their in-game sprites! Look at the difference!"

"And here's somethin' that I just love in the old SNES Games, when they show the enemies and their names at the end. You didn't know their names before, so now this comes along and shatters your reality." A caption appeared next to the Fire enemy, saying 'That's some creativity right there.'

"I agree, some of those names aren't exactly unique." Weiss observed.

"What was that? Eh?" The camera shows Jon interacting with the fat birds from earlier. "That's Mr. Squishy or some shit. Bouncalicious? Who cares, I dunno."

"Oh, but no, I'm sorry, you were wrong. That's TRAMPO. Didn't know? Great."

"Oh I get it!" Yang eyes brightened. "It's short for TRAMPOline because the player jumps on them." Yang explained her findings.

"Okay, that's kind of a good name for it I quess." Weiss admitted.

"Oh, what about Spread and Cindy? Yeah. That was Cindy in case you didn't know! More like Cindy Spreads...her legs...I got nothin'."

"I think we can all agree that that joke wasn't funny in the slightest." Yang said, getting nods from the others.

"At least he kind of admitted that it wasn't all that funny." Weiss stated

"Di-No City!" Jon exclaims, looking down at the game cartridge. "Dinosity, yeah. THAT just happened. And I'm one of the one and a half people that will ever talk about that game, but..." And then he mumbled something incoherent.

"Now, I DO rather like it, and I wish...I WISH this game was inspired by just PURE inspiration and nothing else, and I hate to spoil the magic for you, but this was actually based off, like, some crappy movie called 'Adventures in Dinosaur City...' Yeah, don't you wish you could unknow that?"

"Oh Oum that looks horrible!" Ruby said as clips of the movie played for a few splits seconds, not impressing them at all.

"If we end up finding that in the capsule, I vote that we skip it." Blake decided to put it to a vote. "Who's with me?"

The three young women raised their hands, making it unanimous about their thoughts on the movie based on the short clips they saw.

"Undoubtedly, this game is WAY better than the movie, and you know what?" Music plays in the background. "I rather like it. Y'know...I'm glad I could have finally shared this game with everyone."

"What's going on? What's with the music?" Ruby quickly asked.

"Is he...about to do what I think he's about to do?" Blake question with uncertainty.

Weiss eyes widen as she sensed what was about to happen. "I think so." Weiss answered.

Yang, however, smirked. "This should be good."

"Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag, driftin' through the wind, wanting to start again..." Jon sings as he gets out of his seat and walks towards the doorway.

"Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin, like a house of cards, one blow from cavin' in?" Jon sings as he puts Jacques back in his cage.

"Do you ever feel, already buried deep, six feet under screaming, no one seems to hear a thing?" Jon sings as he drinks a glass of water, oddly being able to sing perfectly even though there was liquid in his mouth.

"Wait, how is he able to sing while drinking like that?" Yang wondered out loud. Weiss's eyes widened and lit up.

"Oh, I guess this was prerecorded." Weiss answered in understanding.

"What do you mean by that Weiss?" Ruby questioned her teammate.

"What I mean is that some singers prerecord themselves singing and plays it for live performances while lip-syncing to the singing." Weiss explained.

"Isn't that dishonest?" Blake asked the white haired girl, making her nervous.

"Well...yes, but sometimes it's unavoidable." Weiss told them. "Some singers practice so hard that they end up damaging their vocal cords so they have to use their recordings at their concerts to avoid losing money for refunds. And some others do it because their not that comfortable singing in front of people." Weiss finished explaining before her eyebrows knitted together.

"Though that begs the question on why he's doing that here, considering that his videos looks like their edited.

"Maybe he's poking fun at that practice." Yang guessed.

"Perhaps." Weiss shrugged.

"Do you know that there's, still a chance for you, there's a spark in you?" Jon sings as he puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks out the door.

"You just gotta ignite...the light...and let it shine...Just own...the night...Like the fourth of July!" Jon sings as he walks along a cliffside overlooking the ocean.

"He sings surprisingly well." Blake couldn't but remark, finding his singing relaxing.

"Yeah, I wouldn't of thought he was a good singer just by looking at him." Ruby stated.

"'Cause baby you're a firework!" Jon sings as he stops by the edge of the cliff, firework sparks exploding out of his chest.

"Okay, that's pretty cool!" Yang said, imagining surprising enemies by shooting sparks out of her chest.

"Yeah, but your clothes would probably catch on fire if anyone was able to do that." Ruby commented, dampening Yang's fun with her logic.

"Right..." Yang said sadly as she slumped forward.

Zwei stood up and barked happily while his tail wagged intensely, remembering when the crazy man that smelled of coffee set him on fire and send him flying towards the animal people like one of those fireworks. Those were some good times.

"Come on show them what you're worth!" The camera panes along the coastline.

"Make 'em go ah! Ah! Ah!" Jon sings, the firework visible below his chin.

"As you shoot across the sky-eye-eye!" Jon sings as the camera zooms away from the cliffside.

"Cause baby you're a firework!" Jon sings, throwing his arms up as the girls were treated to a beautiful sights of the ocean and faraway land.

"That's beautiful!" Weiss said as she appreciated the view.

"That water looks so blue and crystal clear." Ruby said in awe, feeling the urge to go swimming right now.

"Come on let your colours burst! Make 'em go ah! Aoh! OOH! Dino City is a ga-a-ame!" He sings as he walks along the cliffside before stopping and looking down at the ocean.

Before the video ends, he turns to look at the camera, and an odd sound effect is heard as the video freezes, the words 'Death comes to us all' appearing in blood red letters over Jon.

"Okay that was unexpected and random." Blake quickly said, jumping slightly at the odd sound effect.

"But at least the song was good." Ruby said, Zwei barking in agreement.

The theme song plays for a third time before the next episode begins.

"Here we go again." Yang said with a smirk after the theme song ended. "I wonder what he's going to show us next?"

Jon is shown looking over his neighbourhood. He smiles.

"Ah. What perfection. What a BEAUTIFUL day, wouldn't ya say, Rockington?" He said before looking over to the left, the camera showing a nice tiled walkway.

"Um...who's Rockington?" Ruby asked, not remembering Jon ever mentioning anyone by that name in the two videos they've seen so far.

"Maybe he was introduced in another video." Blake pointed out.

"Oh yeah, that makes sense." Ruby said with a nod.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, I lost Rockington. I LOST A ROCK!"

"Well that answers that question." Yang said.

The camera pans up to space, where what looks like a game disc is flying around. The camera pans over to the Earth, where a game box depicting a bear in yellow shorts crossing his arms and holding a wrench, a red bird peeking out of his blue backpack and what looks like a witch with a head capsule, is floating above the planet. The game disc crashes into the case, sending it spiralling down to Earth.

For a moment, the members of Team RWBY could have sworn that they heard the pained and angry yells of thousands of pissed off people when the game box was shown.

Ruby looked around the room in worry. "Guys...did you just hear-" Ruby started to asked,

"The cries of thousands of angry fanboys out for blood?" Weiss interrupted Ruby. "Yeah, I did."

"That's weird, I heard that too." Yang answered.

"Me too." Blake said, worry etched on her face. Zwei whimpered, showing them that he heard it as well.

For some reason, the five could tell that they were in for a ride.

The scene changes to show Jon standing in the same exact spot that he was in earlier. "Well, I do believe I've forgotten why I'm standing here!" Jon said cheerfully. "Guess I'll go back inside."

Jon turns to go back inside, and the camera focuses on the game falling from the sky. Jon walks for his door in slow motion, and the game is shown falling again. Cut back to Jon walking, only to be caught off guard by what appears to be a meteor slamming into the ground nearby and exploding, barely missing him as he leaps out of the way.

"Huh...I guess he wasn't kidding when he mentioned games from space in the previous review." Blake said.

"You could say that the games are...out of this world." Yang made yet another horrible pun.

"Oum damn it Yang." Weiss said as she face palmed as the others groaned.

Jon continues ranting to Jacques about how he wanted to play the game when the camera focuses on a copy of Donkey Kong Country, peaceful music playing in the background.

"Hey. Check it out." Jon says. "It's Donkey Kong Country." He picks the game up. "Man, this game really takes me back. As far as I can remember!"

Yang started to make noises with her mouth, playing the tune associated with when people have flashbacks. And sure enough, the scene transitions and shows a bookshelf filled with binders and VHS tapes, then to a hand holding the SNES Cartridge.

"It was the early 90s. You just got your hands on this crazy new game. Donkey Kong Country. With sweet revolutionary 3D rendered graphics." Gameplay of Diddy Kong riding Enguarde the swordfish while Donkey Kong swims behind is shown.

"I have to admit, the game graphics look decent enough." The Schnee Heiress admitted.

"And who would hate a game that has primates riding a swordfish of all things." Ruby added.

"Who could forget the fond memories of snapping these games into our Super Nintendos, hearing that familiar click and hittin' the on button...and there, in the dead silence of night with your blanket enveloping you in a heavenly shroud of comfort, you heard that euphoric jingle for the very first time?"

This brought nostalgic smiles to Yang's and Ruby's faces as they remembered the times when they were young and they would stay up way past their bed time to play video games that they just got.

A TV is shown displaying a logo as a triumphant jingle plays.

"From that moment on it was clear...It was obvious, it went without saying! You didn't PLAY Rareware, you LIVED it." Gameplay is shown of DK and Diddy exploring a rainy jungle.

'Interesting name for a game company.' Blake thought to herself.

"Enter that golden era of video games unlike anything the world had ever SEEN!" The N64 is shown.

"Stunning new graphics!" A racing game is shown, depicting futuristic hover cars driving at fast speeds.

"I wouldn't mind racing in one of those beauties." Yang said as she seductively growled at the thought of being behind the wheel of a hover racing car.

"Huh, so they had the idea of hover cars all the way back then. And here we are, who knows how many years later after they were gone, and we still don't haven't figured out how to build them." Blake remarked.

"New ways to play!" Game play of Mario exploring Bob-Omb Battlefield is shown.

"And a race to see who could make the best looking and most game-changing software!" The Playstation is shown.

"It was truly the wild west, and leading the helm was Rareware. In their early days, they were known for such games as Battletoads and Wizards and Warriors."

"That's quite a achievement." Weiss said. Even she could appreciate the level that the video game company was able to get to.

"I know, I just hope that we get a chance to play some of their games." Ruby hoped, praying to any deity that was listening and hoping that they will grant her wish.

"We might, the system that he keeps talking about IS in the capsule. So it wouldn't be too farfetched for some of Rareware's games to be in there with it." Blake told the younger girl.

Ruby squealed in delight, planning on rummaging through the time capsule the second the video is over to find the system and games.

"But they didn't hit critical acclaim until they became a second party developer for Nintendo and rocked the world with their Donkey Kong Country line of games. Gaming would never again be the same! It was no longer about your high score, it was about the adventure! And Rare knew this, they knew it better than the rest of us!"

"And that's when things got crazy!"

"This oughta be good." Yang remarked as game cartridge after game cartridge appeared on screen.

"Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest and Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble! Diddy Kong Racing, Blast Corps, Killer Instinct, Goldeneye 007, Donkey Kong 64, Perfect Dark, and Conker's Bad Fur Day...Oh my God!" Jon had begun to get emotional when he got to Conker's Bad Fur Day, making it difficult to decipher him. "Oh, so many good games!" He sobbed.

"Okay man, you need to relax before he have a heart attack." Yang told the screen while the others nodded.

"That's the thing that was so...seriously, no pun intended, rare about Rareware. It's that they were like the Beatles of video games!"

Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Zwei turned to look at Yang, whose face was scrunched up. She raised her right hand tilted it side to side, giving the pun a 'So-So' rating.

"They could take on seemingly ANY genre of gaming and set the bar while they were at it."

"And again, that's impressive." Weiss repeated herself.

"Their lineup from the early 90s to the year 2000 was something I can only describe as 'Oh. It's sublime. Sublime. It'sgooooooood!"

"Buuut we're forgetting someone aren't we...aren't we?" A question mark appears over a black, smoky background.

'I wonder who he's forgetting about?' Ruby and gang wondered.

As they mentally asked themselves that question, the scene changed to a woodsy area with a waterfall in the background. Standing in said area was a goofy looking bear standing on its hind legs wearing yellow shorts with a black belt, a necklace with what looks like a tooth attached to it, and blue backpack on his back.

"Well hello there!" Yang said with wide eyes, clearly surprise about the sudden bear appearance.

"I'm guessing this is the game that came long before the one that Jon got." Blake took a wild guess based on how the footage looks compared to the game case of the Nuts and Bolts game.

"That's an interesting design." Weiss chipped in.

Ruby was the only one that stayed silent, drinking in the colorful environment and character. She instantly fell in love with the game.

"That's right, you didn't think I could possibly overlook Banjo-Kazooie, did you? I mean, look at the...Look at the title of the video!" The scene blurs as Banjo takes out...well a banjo and plays it as a hand appears, pointing at the top left corner. "...Was probably gonna mention it."

"What's so great about Banjo-Kazooie, you ask, huh? Well I'm just not even sure I can put it into words! But I sure as hell can try." Snippets of gameplay was shown, including Banjo and Kazooie running around in an open area and fighting a giant carrot. The scene changes to a grubby door with a creepy doorknocker that opens to reveal the back of a short, fat green person wearing a witches outfit and a purple stripped scarf waving their hands over something the team couldn't see.

"Did that bear have a bird in the book bag?" Weiss questioned. "While fighting a carrot with big eyes?"

"I think so." Weiss answered.

The screen depicts a sprite of Red from Pokemon looking over a beautiful misty shoreline.

"Ever just looked across a misty shoreline? Gazed over beyond the horizon and said to yourself 'What if?' ...There ya go. No further explanation, do you clari- doyouwmummm...Do you need clar-"

"Clarification?" Blake finished for him.

"EVERY single part of the game was packed to the brim with originality and content. Sure, it WAS a collectathon, if you will, but I still don't get why this is considered a derogatory thing when referring to games. Yes, it IS a game where you collect things, but the game is built around it, so it's fine."

"And it looks amazing." Ruby said in a daze, completely enamored by the game.

"Each collectable is ingeniously hidden within different parts of the level, and the best part about finding them is you have to survey the landscape and locate them by the seed of your own wit!"

"Pfft, that'll be a cake walk." Yang said arrongantly.

"Maybe for me or Blake, but for you and Ruby, I'll probably take weeks for you two to find everything you witless dinguses." Weiss told Yang.

"HEY!" Yang and Ruby yelled indigently while Weiss and Blake smirked and high fived.

"There's no waypoints. Kay, it's not like..." Jon made a radio sound effect before an image of Banjo's head photoshopped over a soldier's body popped up onscreen in front of a black, flaming background. "Bravo, team! Bear and Bird! Meet us at Alpha Point!"

"There's none of that."

"That's sad, I would have liked to play one of those games." Yang said sadly.

"And of course it must be said that Banjo-Kazooie had a freakin' awesome sequel called Banjo-Tooie!"

Awesome!" Ruby excitedly exclaimed, happy to know that she could potentially play both games if they had them.

"It's pretty dang rare...Heheh, there it is again... When you're graced with a sequel that quality and size."

"Again, the pun was meh." Yang commented dismissively.

"LIke you would have done any better." Weiss challenged, receiving a ditry look from the blonde bombshell.

"Do I need to threaten you with PUNishment again?" Yang asked the white haired heiress.

"No!" Weiss said quickly, remembering the fate worse than death that awaits her if she continues to aggravate Yang.

"But then...Something terrible happened. A misstep on the stairway to glory. In the year 2002, Rareware in its entirety was purchased...by Microsoft corporation."

"Ominous." Blake stated with a shiver while Ruby whimpered.

"Please don't hurt the cute game" Ruby begged the intangible, and currently nonexistent company.

"They started making games like Grabbed by the Ghoulies, Perfect Dark Zero and Kameo: Elements of Power. And...it's fuzzy...but I could swear that I remember something else...Something FAR more sinister."

"...Nooooooooo." Ruby whined almost inaudibly, dreading what was to come next.

"Well if we can't play the new one, JACQUES," Jon says the parrot's name in an accusatory tone. "Then I guess we might as well just play the old one. It's the next best thing."

Jon places the game in his N64, but it doesn't go in all the way. "Agh!" He grunts before pressing it in. When he does this, the game starts to crackle with electricity as ominous music plays in the background.

"That...doesn't sound good." Blake said.

"Not at all." Weiss added.

The electricity moves to the carpet, creating a tornado that envelops the ruined pieces of the game and reforms them perfectly. The case falls to the floor.

"Okay, that's pretty badass." Yang remarked as the others gaped at the now fully repaired game.

"But how?! It was completely destroyed!" Weiss stated in shock.

"Something spooky this way comes." Ruby said, slightly shaken up.

As another ominous tune plays in the background, Jon's eyes widen when he sees the repaired game. He quickly moves over and picks it up, looking over at Jacques as he clutches it protectively.

"Jon...Stand back." Jacques fires another laser at the game.

"Well here we go again." Blake said, fully prepared for the outcome to be the same as last time. But what the Cat Faunus wasn't prepared for, however, was for Jon to pull out a mirror and reflect the shot right back at his parrot, causing him to spontaneously combust.

The girls stares at the screen, flabbergasted.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Ruby wailed in anguish at fate of the downed robot avian while Zwei howled.

"He was too young to die!" Yang cried,

"And THAT'S how ya skin a cat!" Jon says with a smile, offending Blake slightly at the expression he said. "...Bird...I don't care, let's play the game already."

Jon slowly opens the cartridge...But the second he does so, an eerie choir plays as the screen blurs ominously and a skull laughing evilly and surrounded by hellfire appears in front of the case.

"Okay, at this point I think that we can all agree...that game is evil." Weiss told them, getting nods from the other three and dog.

Jon's eyes bug out in horror as he stares at the sight before him.

Suddenly, the game moves itself out of the case and into Jon's Xbox.

"Yup, definitely evil." Ruby said, reaffirming her views on the game.

On the TV, the head of a witch appears. "Listened to your feathered friend you should have, now you must play this game, that's quite bad. From that seat you'll never jolt, until you're done with Nuts and Bolts!" The witch's voice is gibberish, with subtitles translating what she's saying.

"And now there's a green witch that speaks in rhyme, how can this be any more demonic?" Blake asked.

The witch disappears, and Jon stares down at his wrists as shackles magically appear over them.

Jon looks around in terror before struggling against his restraints. But when he does so, he is electrocuted and forced to give up.

"Maybe with magic shackles that's keeping him from not playing the game maybe?" Yang asked. "As long as the witch doesn't try anything kinky, we should be fine." Blake, Weiss, and Ruby gagged at the image of a overweight green witch doing inappropriate things to Jon.

"YANG! GROSS!" Ruby cried out as the image stated to destroy her innocence.

"Banjo-...Kazooie Nuts & Bolts? But...I'm su..." Jon's voice catches in his throat as he comes to a horrible realization.

"...Oh nooo..." He says quietly. "...OOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He yells this time. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A shot of the planet is seen, signifying everyone around the world can hear Jon's yell.

"He had quite the lungs." Weiss couldn't help but point out.

"Jacques, I'm sorry man!" Jon exclaims. "I didn't realize!"

"Please register me." Jacques' ashes reply.

"Okay I know that he's a robotic bird and all that, BUT HOW THE HELL IS HE STILL FUNCTIONING AFTER BEING TURNED TO ASHES?!" Yang yelled, not seeing how that would be possible at all. It was beyond Yang's understanding.

"Well he did say earlier that he was omnipresent, so maybe that's how he's still conscious while his body is...you know." Blake explained her theory.

"Maybe, but still..." Yang said.

"I guess there's only one thing to do now..." Jon grabs his controller.

"LETS PLAY SOME VIDEO GAMES!" Ruby yelled, feeling pumped up.

"Well...Here it is..." Jon says in a defeated tone. "Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts. It's sort of a bittersweet feeling...Seeing the Rareware logo again after all these years..."

The title screen is shown with a laid-back little banjo tune.

"That sounds very nice." Weiss said, closing her eyes and letting the music flood her ears.

"Meh, not enough rock." Yang bluntly stated, ruining the relaxed mood Weiss was in.

"There goes that." Weiss bitterly mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared daggers at Yang.

"You hear that jingle right there? That's the stuff I haven't... And look! It's Spiral Mountain! Good to see you again...old friend. ...Mountains can't be friends..."

"You could be friends with mountains...but you might have something horribly wrong with you though." Blake pointed out.

"So we're met with the familiar menu screen, but it's a little different than before. For starters, looks like Banjo's become a bit of a hoarder, huh?" The camera focuses on the pile of old stuff in Banjo's house.

"Wow, he's right on the money with that one." Yang remarked.

"I guess those are all the XBoxes he had that Red Ringed."

"I wonder what he means by that?" Ruby asked.

"Maybe it shows that something is wrong with the system?" Blake guessed.

"Whoa! They're all about to topple over!" Indeed, the pile of consoles appears to be shaking. "But they never dooooo!"

"So, let's do the deed and start up the single player campaign." Jon does so and jigsaw pieces cover the screen before a computer floats in front of the camera, a short beatbox-like tune playing in the background. "Huh. Is that Battletoads in the background?"

The screen cuts to an old 8-bit game with a similar tune playing. "Eh. Nice touch."

"That looks like my kind of game." Yang said as she watched a giant toad beating up red monsters.

"It does." Weiss agreed.

"So the game starts off with a bit of a retrospective. It tells the tale of Banjo, Kazooie and Gruntilda, and shows the games thatt came before."

"-Overcoming many perils and speech impediments to send Gruntilda tumbling to her doom." The narrator says as Gruntilda falls from her castle, plows into the ground hard enough to make a hole in the shape of her body and gets crushed by a boulder. The screen then shows the Gruntilda hole from previously covered up by construction equipment.

"What a way to go." Blake said with sympathy, not wanting to go through the pain of falling from a high height and then being crushed by a boulder.

The screen then focuses on a radio playing an upbeat tune. "Oh. Conker's Bad Fur Day music. WE GET IT, RAREWARE! You used to be cool. Get...Can we get on with it? STOP! STOP IT! STOP TAUNTING ME!"

"Yeah, that's not nice!" Ruby said with a pout, being on Jon's side.

The screen shows that Banjo and Kazooie have become extremely overweight. "Oh geez. Oh darn it. They got fat."

Ruby's eyes widened in horror as, in her mind, the image of what they used to look like that the Team saw earlier was replaced by...that image that was on screen. Needless to say, Ruby was being traumatized.

"So this, uh, radio player tells Banjo and Kazooie that it's been ten years since they were invented and that they're all fat and washed up. Yep! Can you feel that? Can you feel it?" The screen shows a hand hovering over the word 'Irony'.

"Ha! This kinda reminds me of the opening of Conker's Bad Fur Day. Except instead of being funny, it's just Banjo telling us over and over that he should have ordered a small pizza. I'm...I'm fucking serious. Look at this shit." He shows the many times Banjo makes the same complaint.

"Maybe instead of saying that you "should have ordered a small pizza", you should hit a gym or something. Maybe do a sit-up or push up every now and again." Yang told the duo on screen.

"We get it. Yes, yeah, okay, okay, small pizza. WHY YOU ALWAYS BE TELLIN' ME THIS?!"

"Oooooohm. I'm in da treesh." The screen shows just that, Banjo in a dumbster. "How did I get there?"

"This game should go in the trash." Ruby said bitterly.

"So they meet up with Grunty again..." The screen shows Banjo and Kazooie interacting with Gruntilda's disembodied skeletal head.

"Wow, I guess she couldn't...get aHEAD in live." Yang joked.

"She obviously seen better days." Weiss commented, to use to Yang's pun at this point to really care. The others groaned.

"And it's just like old times." Banjo and Kazooie and Grunty glare at each other. "Oh shit! Here we go!" They both jump forward to attack...When the game pauses itself. "Dafaq? I didn't pause! I didn't fuckin' pause the game in unfiltered comic sans!"

"Maybe whatever evil spirit that's inhabiting the game did it." Blake said.

"Yeah, for the lolz." Yang added.

"Oh. I guess it was Tweedle Dumb over here that did it." A finger points at a computer wearing a purple robe. "So this guy calls himself the Lord of Games, or uh, L.O.G. Yeah. This game reminds ME of some certain kinds of logs."

Yang snorted, already guessing which type of log that he was talking about.

"LIKE THESE ONES!" Jon screams as a psychedelic screen with spinning logs on it is shown.

"Oh..." Yang said, deflating slightly at being wrong.

"...You thought he was talking about poop, weren't you? Ruby asked her sister with a deadpan expression.

"...Maybe." Yang answered hesitantly.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Get you head out of the gutter." Weiss reprimanded the blonde.

"Don't you mean pipes?" Blake asked Weiss.

"Same dif." Weiss told her dismissively.

"Your name is odd and you look a bit queer?!" Jon says, reading in-game text said by Gruntilda.

"You gotta understand...She's from a different era."

"Yeah, you know how the old folks can be with their outdated views." Yang said.

"Wish that racism would become outdated." Blake said sadly, getting a sympathetic pat on the pack by Yang and a nose nuzzle from Zwei.

"Man, this sure does follow up on the spirit of Banjo-Kazooie games subtly breaking the fourth wall. IF you spell 'Subtly' like THIS." The word 'subtly' is suddenly red, glowing and placed over a black background with flames at the bottom. An explosion occurs, all while epic music plays in the background.

"AWW YEAH! SCREW SUBTLY!" Yang yelled, pumping her fist up in excitement. Weiss and Blake rolled their eyes at her statement, knowing that 'subtly' wasn't one of her stronger points.

"Now then, in line with Banjo tradition, your challenge will consist of collecting as many pointless objects as possible?" There is a record scratch.

"Whoa whoa WHOA! You just hold on a second!"

"Yeah, you can't just insult the way that the previous games were like back then like that!" Ruby said indignantly.

The screen shows Banjo running forward and picking up square shaped coins. "Hahahahahahahahaha! Get it?! Because Banjo-Kazooie was TOTALLY THIS TEDIOUS! HOLY SHIT!"

"No no no, it's too painful to watch, hey, you got that part right. Gamers today don't want all this. They just want to SHOOT THINGS? But as we're broadening the demographic, I'll have to think of something original."

"I would love to play a shooter up game right about now." Yang said longingly, her desire to play a shooter game igniting ever since the ending of the commercials video.

"Something original, huh? Broadening the demographic? All right. I'll bite. What EXACTLY did you guys have in mind?"

The screen shows various shots of Banjo driving different vehicles.

"Cars...?" Jon whimpers.

"CARS?" Jon says in shocked anger.

"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS?!" Jon roars furiously.

And then he sang again. "AND IIIIIIIIIII, HOLY SHIT! WILL ALWAYS LOOOOVE YOU, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME, GOD DAMN IT, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"

"I feel your pain Jon...I feel your pain." Ruby said as she sniffled and her eyes start to tear up.

"I would venture a guess and say that this game wasn't well received." Blake stated the obvious.

"I can sit and be shoveled shit aaaaaall day, but no one...no one can tell me that anyone, anywhere thought that this was an okay thing to do!" Jon said. "Why? Why would you take a fucking BANJO-KAZOOIE game? One that we've been wait for years...and make it...about fucking Lego CARS?!"

"Wait, what's Le-"

"YOU BASTARDS!" Ruby interrupted Blake's question, who gave the young leader the stink eyes for interrupting her.

"heh heh heh, sorry." Ruby nervously apologized

"No...I must calm myself...Let me go ahead and try to explain this, how do you say, very well justified rage?"

"Finally, some answers." Weiss said, wondering what Jon's beef with the game was.

"Let's go back to the roots of the problem." Banjo-Kazooie's game cartridge appears over a blue screen. "And maybe, if you don't already see it the way I do, you might just change your mind."

"Flashback to the year 2000! You just beat Banjo-Tooie, and you hear Gruntilda say those beautiful words...You just wait until Banjo-Threeie!" The camera focuses on Gruntilda saying just that.

"Flash forward to late 2006! Six whole years after the release of Banjo-Tooie! Fans of the series were graced with something WONDERFUL to hold onto! Something that made the coming years look brighter than ever! A real, next-gen Banjo-Kazooie game!" A beta trailer for the cancelled Banjo-Threeie is shown. "Our secret wishes were finally realized! We were once again privileged to experience that lost genre of video gaming's adolescenes! A new big-budget 3D platforming game! Banjo's COMIN' BACK, baby, and we were happier than ever..."

"I can understand their joy, it's a absolute hell for gamers to have to wait that long before they get even a little bit of info about the next installment." Yang said, remembering the euphoria she felt when the sequel of a fighting game she liked was finally announced after four years.

"Only...Do ya see anything wrong here?" The camera focuses on the commercial from earlier. "I don't know about you, but I don't see any CAAAAARS!"

"Well that explains why he hates it so much." Blake stated.

"Or boats! Or planes! All I see is the promise of something so b-b-" Jon begins to sob. "It's so beautiful...Oh...Oh God, I can't stand to look at it anymore..."

"Don't worry Jon, take your time." Ruby told the screen.

"So here we are in Showdown Town! Great, looks like a bad custom Counter Strike map."

"Oh good, I get to move around finally! Oh, good, a tutorial on...car paaaarrrrrrts..."

"To be fair, you wouldn't want to build any vehicle without something to go on." Yang pointed out, remembering when she started customizing Bumblebee without knowing what to do. "If it's not properly balanced or the parts your using aren't compatible with each other, you'll have a bad time."

"Oh you KNOW you're doing something wrong in the game when the first three hours isn't menus!"

"Heaven forbids if you can just pick up a game and just have some fun." Ruby stated.

"Just another reason why I prefer books over game." Blake stated.

"Good, I just...yeah, gonna make it..." Jon has made a car that looks more like a food trolley, complete with a pizza box on it. "Make a car...I don't even wanna kill myself right now."

"This is a sin." Jon says as he drives his car. "This is a true sin! An ultimate crime against the entire gaming community! I mean, what if after Super Mario World, Nintendo came out with a teaser trailer for Super Mario 64, and upon release day, you were greeted with MARIO CITY SIMULATOR?! AND THEN YOU TURNED ON THE GAME AND SHIGERU MIYAMOTO'S GHOST COMES OUT AND IS LIKE 'UH, FUCKIN' WHO LIKES THE OLD MARIO GAMES, AM I RIGHT?! BRB, MAKIN' LEGEND OF ZELDA MODERN WARFARE!"

"So pretty much there are level gates all around, almost exactly like Mario Sunshine." Banjo is turned into particles as he goes into one of the portals. "Like I said, pretty much exactly."

"It would be interesting and convenient if we had portals like that." Weiss pointed out, wondering if it would be possible for scientists to make something like that somewhere down the line.

"Sure as hell beats walking everywhere." Yang added in agreement.

"Uh...What do I do?" Jon asks as he drives around one of the levels. "No...seriously, what do I do? NO, SERIOUSLY, WHAT DO I-NO, I'M FUCKIN' SERIOUS!"

"Yeah, what exactly IS he supposed to do? What is the point in this game?" Blake wondered out loud.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've plucked a whale from the ocean, and he sounds like a seal!" Indeed, Jon has levitated a whale out of the ocean with his wrench, and he does indeed sound like a seal. Jon slowly nods his head as he listens to the whale.

The team stares unblinkingly at the oddness in front of them while Zwei barks at the screen, trying to communicate with the barking seal whale.

"...I don't know what to say to that." Yang confessed.

"Me neither." The silver eyed girl said.

"I vote we just pretend that we saw that." Weiss said with a blank look.

"Agreed." Blake held her hand up.

"Seriously, this is just one big empty level with nothing to do in it! I eventually found out that you gotta talk to people to unlock missions where you can actually DO things! So why, then, can I walk around this GIANT WASTELAND?! This feels more empty than Fallout 3, a game that's SUPPOSED TO FEEL EMPTY!"

"I swear to god, it feels like I'm playing a game that wasn't finished! I know there's missions, but why?! This is a BANJO-KAZOOIE game! It's about the ADVENTURE! And fine, if you're gonna make it a car game, FINE. But why make this overworld that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN IT?!"

"I guess the developer's heads were EMPTY and had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to add." Yang tried to pun, but failed hard as the others groaned.

"Lemme guess...Is it by chance 'cause the LAST GAMES had overworlds that had things IN THEM?! IS THAT WHY?!"

"If you're trying to live off your predecessor's success, that's fine. But you CAN'T CHANGE THE GAME MECHANICS AND STILL KEEP THE OLD LEVEL DESIGN! THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"While I don't really fancy myself as a game player, I can understand where he's coming from." Weiss stated. "What works for one genre might not necessary work for another."

"Like trying to use a electric guitar in one of your performances?" Ruby listed an example.

"Exactly." Weiss answered with a smile.

"But I'll tell ya what does make a little bit of sense to me. Now I can't prove it, and I haven't read anything confirming it, but consider this the intuition of a season veteran at the early video game industry."

"Based on this old trailer and these barren levels, it would seem to me that Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts was actually going to BE Banjo-Threeie at some point. Like I said, I can't prove it. But it would make THIS allll make sense."

"So instead of changing the level design to better fit the game mechanics, they just decided to use what they already had instead?" Ruby wondered.

"Like he said, we have no way of knowing whether that was the case or not." Blake pointed out.

"And you know what? If they HAD gone through with it, I bet it would have been a decently good game! I mean, I don't know if it would have lived up to the originals, but the assets are all here! The graphics are pretty appealing, everything is stylized, and Banjo actually controls pretty satisfyingly on the ground. And I'm not kidding, the atmosphere in some places is actually pretty fantastic."

"He has a point, all of that sounds great, if only the game play was as good." Ruby moaned.

'The REAL part of the game is boring. I don't even care. Do you care? Do you? Fuckin' care- I don't care."

Weiss rolled her eyes at the blatant lie. "From how you were reacting earlier, I think you do care."

"I do too." Ruby sniffed sadly.

"MAYBE I can end the game early by killing Gruntilda while she's IN THE OPEN!" Jon tries to run over Gruntilda with his car. "Get 'er! Get 'er, kick 'er aaaaass! Hahahahaha! But seriously...This ain't funny anymore, this is now called DramTron."

"Even though you may not believe this, I HATE the fact that I HAVE to hate this game! In an era where developers are piss-scared to make a tip-toe outside the proverbial box, it's actually nice to see something with a hint of originality! But this is NOT the way to do it! This should have been called Tiptup Nuts & Bolts!" An image of a turtle driving a vehicle flashes onscreen. "Why slap Banjo-Kazooie on this?!"

"Because it's all about that sweet, sweet brand money." Yang said, getting agreeing nods from the others.

"Who knows, if they used the turtle instead of them, the fallout might have not been so bad." Blake stated.

"I respect the idea, but come on, guys, you're better than this! Fuck you! I'm sorry, that was out of line."

"I can't do this anymore! I don't care if I have to sit here forever. I'm not playin' anymore of this god damn GAME!"

"At least he's going to stop torturing himself." Ruby chimed happily.

Suddenly, dramatic music plays as the camera focuses on Jon's eyes. "No." He looks over to the mirror he used to reflect Jacques' laser. He whips his head forward before calling "JACQUES!" and making a noise.

"Um...what is he-"

Weiss stopped when the camera focuses on the pile of ashes that was Jacques. Suddenly, a flash of white light filled the screen, revealing a fully restored Jacques once it died down.

"...What? How?!" Weiss exclaimed.

"I'm not even going to try to question it anymore." Yang told the Schnee heiress, not even surprised anymore because of what they saw the bird do so far.

"YAY! JACQUES BACK!" Ruby loudly cheered.

"That's one weird bird." Blake said nonchalantly.

Blue energy waves emanates from the newly revived robot bird and hits the hand mirror, which is launched off screen.

The skull on the Xbox laughs evilly, fire surrounding it.

"Oh my Oum! THE EVIL HAS CORRUPTED THE SYSTEM!" Ruby cried out, latching her arms around Weiss who struggles to get her off her.

"Get off me Ruby!" Weiss demanded, but to no avail.

It launches a fireball at Jon, who reflects it with the mirror that he caught. When the fireball hits the Xbox, the game disc is launched out onto the floor.

"SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT NOW!" Ruby yelled, still wrapped around Weiss.

"For Oum's sakes Ruby! Calm down!" Weiss growled in frustration.

"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Yang decided to follow her younger sister's example.

"DON'T ENCOURAGE HER!" Weiss snapped.

Blake sighed and shook her head at the display. "Bunch of freaking children, I swear."

Jon hurriedly grabs it up, and with much effort, manages to seal it in its case.

He ties the case to a rock before moving for the door.

He is shown driving his car.

Then he is shown running towards the ocean.

The camera rotates around Jon as he spins the rock around.

Finally, he lets go, and the rock goes flying into the ocean with a splash.

"Looks like that game was given concrete shoes, or stone shoes in this case." Yang stated.

Jon stands with a proud smile on his face. "I did it. I saved the world." He said proudly.

"He did it!" Ruby cheered as Zwei barked in excitement, his tail wagging intensely.

"Yes, yes he did." Weiss said with a smile, before she gave the younger girl the most intense death stare of her existence. "NOW GET OFF ME!"

Ruby blinked before realizing that she still had a iron grip on Weiss's body and quickly let her go.

He looks into the distance to see red and green birds flying over the horizon.

The credits roll. Apparently Jon, Jacques, Banjo-Kazooie, the walls and the Trickelham Moose were all played by Jon Jafari.

"At least the nightmare is over." Yang said proudly.

"...Did those credits say that he played the walls and something called the Trickleham Moose?" Blake asked.

"It sure did." Yang answered without missing a beat.

"I wonder what we'll see next?" Ruby wondered, scratching the back of Zwei's ear.

"I don't know, but I hope it isn't anything idiotic." Weiss said with hope.

They turned their attention to the screen as it showed the next episode.