A/N: I hope you like. Read and enjoy. Maybe review.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, it's characters or stuff. Looking on my checking account I probably also couldn't afford them.

Rachel Berry was ready to admit defeat. Total defeat. She was done. She had lost the battle, the war and had fallen into a deep pit of EPIC! EPIC! FAIL! Now there was only one thing left do to: She had to change her name and her face. She had to move to a far foreign country. Maybe Canada. On the other hand if she learned Spanish she could go to Mexico and become the queen of telenovela. It was no broadway, but it was something. It was better than any of this.

Laying on her bed Rachel contemplated immigrating one more time. But having those kind of dreams only dented her car last time. And she kind of doubted that her dads would have understood her sudden need for a change of scenery.

She had contacted almost every male person she had ever met. Even Dennis Billter, who was the snotty son of her dads receptionist. Who wore braches and smelt like ginger ale. And each and every one had told her "No". Life sucked.

And she did like Lima. She still did like Glee Club, even if she the dorky outsider in between the dorky outsiders. She liked her home and her room and her car. She liked things. But spring formal was two days away and Rachel wasn't sure whether she could take another humiliation.

"Dear God. It's me Rachel Berry." Rachel felt a little bit bad that she only prayed when she wanted something but right now she needed a miracle really really badly. "If you can hear me: I need a date. For spring formal. I know that it sounds silly but I really need it. So if you are not too busy stopping world hunger and bringing on world peace, please get me a date. Just … view it as a sign for me to go on. I need… Something! Anything so that I know things will be ok. Can't just send me a sign please? PLEASE? I promise to be more diligently with my temple going… also…"

The phone rudely interrupted Rachel quiet prayers. She contemplated for a moment to just let it ring. After all. She had yet to make sure God knew the details about her date wishes. Living with two dads had taught her one thing: If you requested something from a male, you needed to be detailed. Otherwise you wished for tickets to Barbara and your dad (Bless his heart) would get you tickets to "the View".

But since the phone wouldn't stop ringing and began to be annoying Rachel decided to answer the all anyways.

"Yes?" she snapped.

"Hey. This is Jesse? Jesse St. James. You know… the guy who dented your car?" Rachel felt her irritation level rise. Why did he have to call now? She was praying for a sign! Was it so hard to let her pray for a goddamn sign? Oh… of course she meant 'for a really nice sign that may or may not change her life but was definitely not blasphemic?'

"Yeah. This is not a very convenient moment Jesse. Can I call you back?" She was about to hang up when she heard a muffled "WAIT!"

"This is really not a good time." she gritted. "Can I just call you back?"

"Listen, I know that you are probably not all that happy about the dent. So I get that you do not really want to talk to me. But I need to talk with you about the compensation."

"I don't think there is anything we still have to talk about. I thought we agreed. I will get the car repaired. You will pay for it."

It was almost as if she could HEAR Jesse fidgeting on the other side of the line. Which seemed odd. When she met him he hadn't seem like the kind of guy who would "fidge". "Yeah. you are kinda right. But as I mentioned, my financial situation is not the best right now. So I hoped I could pay you back in installments?"

Rachel considered it for a while. She didn't really need the money. All she wanted was usually something musical related. And her parents were more than happy to give her "extra pocket money" for that. So she hardly ever spent any. On the other hand… she didn't feel like making it easy for him. The world didn't make it easy for her either.

"Ahhh… I don't know about that. I kinda need the money too, you know." Blatant lie. But how was he to know. But apparently he wasn't a push over either because instead of faltering she heard him clear his throat and then some noise of agreement.

"I can understand that.. Rachel. But.. can't we arrange something? Anything?" As desperate as his words were, somehow Jesse managed to sound normal and for a split second Rachel asked herself if he ever had considered becoming an actor. Because he seemed really fit for…

Maybe Rachels imagination was too vivid. Maybe she had seen too many rom-coms but suddenly she felt like she had the perfect idea. An idea that would help both of them. And nobody would get hurt. It was actually kind of brilliant. She was actually kind of brilliant.

"How about…?" She stretched. No easy way to propose an idea like this.

"Yeah?" he interrupted. A little bit too eager to please her. He seemed to really need the money. All the better for her!

"How about you pretend to be my boyfriend? For spring formal?" That was easy.

Silence. Rachel had to admit that it wasn't the most usual proposition but she wouldn't have thought that she could shock him into silence.

"You want to… buy me?" He was sounding taken aback.

Ok. That just sounded wrong. And made her hear the 'Pretty Woman' Soundtrack in the back of her head which was totally inappropriate.

"Not buy you… more… rent you. Once. For spring formal. It is two days away. I really need a date." While Rachel did realize how despondent she sound, she could appreciate how it would look in the personal life section of her future Wikipedia entry.

"And you would let me off for that?" he sounded suspicious. Rachel hoped because the offer was too good to be true.

"Not totally of course. More like. 50 percent. I'm willing to take off 50% of your bill."

"And that would entail…?" Did he just sound interested? He definitely sounded interested!

"You pick me up at 7 o'clock. Dressed to impress. Then you take me to spring formal and stay by my side. You make sure that everybody gets to see that we are the perfect couple. We dance, we laugh, we leave. That's all." It could work. Rachel knew it could. If it could work on 'The Bold and the Beautiful', this could work right now.

"Hmmm. I guess natural touches are included. Like hand holding or my arm around your shoulders?" She hadn't thought of that. But he was right. They did need a certain amount of closeness to be convincing. Also she wanted Puck to see that she was indeed very well able to "love a man as a man".

"I want to look like we have super sexy fun times."

"Super sexy fun times? What are you, twelve? My body is not an amusement park, you know?" For a second she felt anger rise, but pushed it down with all her might.

"Funny. No I mean. I want to be convincing in… us being…"

"Over second base?" he volunteered.

"Something like that. I wouldn't have voiced it like that, but yeah. Something like that!" She agreed begrudgingly.

"So let me get this straight. You are offering me, to take 50% off my bill if I take you on one date, be as convincing as I can and make out with you a bit in front of your peeps."

"If you say it like that it makes me look really desperate. But yes. That's what I'm offering."

Rachel swallowed. If he said no now, she would definitely leave the country.

"DEAL!"

For a second Rachel was certain she had misheard. Deal? Didn't that mean he said yes? As in In-your-face-Satana- In your face Noah?

"Rachel…babe? Are you still there?" she shook herself out of her stupor and grabbed the phone tighter.

"Yes I'm still there. And there is no need to go into that kind of language. At least not right now."

"I'm practicing" Jesse answered laughing. And even though his voice hadn't changed over the course of the conversation, something told Rachel that he was relieved. "I see you on Friday. Send me your details per text message."

And just like that, he hung up. And just like that, Rachel Berry could pride herself to have a date for spring formal.