A/N: At this point I'm sure you guys know that this isn't really a parody of Mulan, just took some little things from it to make it a retelling of the Saiyan saga with unmarried Goku and ChiChi, young Hercule, and Oolong being the main characters. How am I going to pull this off? Not sure. But I promise it will be a lovely GoChi story while making it as adventurous and focused on the other characters I want to have a huge impact.

I would love for someone out there to make a legit Mulan fic with Chi-Chi actually dressing up as a man and fighting and etc. basically Mulan but with DBZ characters and your own take on it. That would be amazing, and I know someone out there is itching to do it! You gotta PM me ASAP if you do so I can check it out!

Ps Sorry for the late update. I didn't know this story was as well liked as it is, for what it is right now. Means a lot to me! This will definitely get more attention and love from me.

Enjoy!

Goku rubbed his neck to remove the nervous sweat. He was now aware that the pissed off woman was Chi-Chi, but still had no idea why she was so angry with him. He may have forgotten who she was, but that wasn't his fault! She had changed so much since childhood.

Sooo much.

"It's your turn, son. Your pupils are waiting for you."

The nineteen year old wiped his hands on the knees of his pants while looking at Krillin for help. The bald martial artist shrugged his shoulders in return.

"I dunno, man! Why don't you have them do a sparing match or something to see what they got?"

Goku nodded and snatched the microphone from King Koku. He could see Chi-Chi in the stands hiding her reddened face from the spectators while the hairy man next to her kept pounding her shoulder. The orange clad teacher was now interested in how Chi-Chi had grown as a fighter as she grew into her boots.

The messy-haired warrior waved to the crowd awkwardly while clearing his throat to the microphone. He never used one of these things before, but knew it would make his voice loud.

"Uh... It would great if you guys could come to the ring and start fighting now."

One of Koku's agents elbowed the teacher of the Earth's secret army. He was dressed in a sharp suit and definitely wouldn't be part of the battle against the Saiyans.

He still had no problem telling idiots they were being stupid.

"Are you insane!? That will insight chaos! Divide them into groups and have your cronies oversee them!"

Poor Goku could only understand half of that. "...Divide?" He began to wonder if his sweat was leaking through his gi. Nobody told him math would be involved.

Not realizing he spoke into the mic, there was a murmur of the word "dumbass" going around the bleachers. The training hadn't even started yet and Goku was already stressed out.

Krillin cupped his hands and whispered loudly, "There are one hundred people on the roster! You subtract yourself, me, Yamcha, Tien, and Chiaotzu that's ninety-five! That's nineteen people for the five of us! Five groups of nineteen!"

"Ah, thanks buddy!" Goku gave him a thumbs up and turned his attention back to his students, which still felt weird to call them that. "Please get into nineteen groups of five! My friends and myself will join one of each group and start your training!"

The agent took the mic forcibly from the instructor and spoke much louder than Goku ever could into it. "In different parts of this island!"

While the members of the secret army hurried off the bleachers to start forming groups, King Koku shook his head and took his most trusted friend by the elbow. "Now, now Al. You can't get in the way of what our hero wants to do. This is the last time we will see them for a year when the Saiyans arrive. He's got this under control. Isn't that right, Goku?"

Laughing nervously, Goku nodded a couple extra times than necessary. "Completely. Don't worry about me!"

Al gave him a suspicious glance, but knew it was better to listen to what his superior wanted instead of arguing. The two said their goodbyes to Goku and his friends, trusting them with the fate of the world. Once they disappeared in their helicopter, the messy haired warrior scratched his head.

"Are you sure you got the numbers right, Krillin? Nineteen sounds kinda strange."

Tien rubbed his temples. He didn't really want to be in charge of nineteen premature fighters at the same time but knew his former rival would need all the help he could get. "It'll be twenty with each of us going to a group. Let's start picking our poison."

For some reason, that word reminded Goku of Chi-Chi. He scanned the overcrowded area, understanding now why the agent was being so fussy. He finally caught sight of something royal blue, and realized that she hadn't left the hairy man's side. Goku had forgotten his name when King Koku was calling out the roster.

Yamcha was also eyeing the cute female fighter. He let out a low whistle while smacking Goku's back. "Heeeey, I'll take whatever group she's going to be in." The bandit couldn't believe it when her afro'd companion called out her name. Despite their awkward first encounter years ago, Yamcha couldn't deny how beautiful Chi-Chi had matured to be.

"Does that mean Bulma's available!"

"Shut up, Krillin!"

Goku ignored the argument between his friends. There was something about Chi-Chi that was drawing him towards her. Maybe it was the questions running through his mind. What happened to Ox King? Why was she so mad at him? He didn't recall ever doing anything wrong to her in their childhood besides kicking her in the privates.

Forgetting that Yamcha called dibs, Goku started walking towards the teenager as she counted how many people she was standing with. She was tapping her foot on the ground and had her hands on her hips, becoming infuriated.

"If there's fifteen of us and we need nineteen, how many more people do we need?"

Chi-Chi felt like ripping her hair out when the men in her 'team' started scratching their heads and drooling at the mouth. She let out a groan while Oolong, still in his rodent form, whispered in her ear.

"Acting like a know-it-all ain't gonna make ya friends, kid!"

"It's basic math!"

Hercule cleared his throat loudly and raised his hand as if Chi-Chi were really going to call on him to speak. "I believe the answer is four! Yup, four! HEY, WE NEED FOUR MORE PEOPLE OVER HERE!"

The young woman smiled and mouthed a 'thank you' to her only friend besides Oolong on this island. The large cluster he was shouting to sent four of their people over, making both groups an odd but perfect nineteen. "Alright, guys. I think we should line up straight and look as presentable as we can."

A gray furred wolf man wearing orange clothing spit to the side in disgust and elbowed a mohawked fighter next to him. "This broad really tellin' us what to do?"

Chi-Chi clinched her fist together tightly and closed her eyes. These men were the type of people she couldn't stand. She'd knock them all out if it weren't for the voice on her shoulder telling her to relax. Despite Oolong's persistence, she raised her hand up to her ear.

Then felt someone grab her wrist gently.

The red faced teenager followed the strong hand down his growing biceps towards his broadening shoulders. By the time she got a good look at his face, she was arched backwards.

"Hiya!" The upside down instructor offered his cranky student the best smile he could muster under the circumstances. "It looks like I'm joining this team!"

Oolong glared up at the muscle-bound monkey from underneath Chi-Chi's hair. The foolish girl was so stunned by his presence that she was allowing her back to break! A broken back meant no heroic journey!

Sorry, kid, gotta do it or else your crazy ghost mom will never let me leave that depressing tomb!

"OUCH!" Goku yelped a shook his reddened hand that held Chi-Chi back from beating people up. She fell down onto the cold grass that surrounded the fighting ring. He sweatdropped when he noticed his pupils were staring at him blankly. "Heh heh...whatever that thing was sure packs a wallop!"

There were more hateful murmurs from the warriors, disbelieving that Koku would pick such a moron to lead them into a battle that could very well end in their deaths if anything went wrong. The wolf man who talked trash about Chi-Chi shook his head.

"How do we even know if this guy is the real deal? A bug just bit him and he's cryin' like a baby. You'd think Koku would have more sense than to put a weakling in charge of such an important mission."

Chi-Chi rubbed her lower back, aching from the fall. She silently cursed out Oolong, who had scurried off to transform into something else and would most likely give her a heart attack later. She listened to the comments being made about the love of her childhood while Hercule helped her to her feet. She had expected and wished that Goku would have been the one to do it, but he was doing damage control.

Horribly.

"Wait, guys. Just hold on a second!" Goku raised his hands in front of him like he was trying to train circus animals. "I need to see you how you guys fight before I know where to begin the training. I'm pretty sure we are all on different levels here!"

Wolf-Man grinned wildly, cynically. He cracked his furry knuckles while Hercule protectively moved Chi-Chi and himself out of the way. "That's a great idea. Why don't we start with fighting you?"

The other groups of twenty, now with their own sub-leaders, were already making their way to different parts of the island. Goku sighed, realizing that he was going to have to stay in the boring arena section. He was making the observation with a pout, not even realizing that Wolf-Man was punching him with every fiber of his being. The furry creature had grown exhausted, his orange clothes covered in sweat. His buddy with the mohawk joined in, ganging up on the messy-haired martial artist.

The newly discovered Saiyan felt like he was being poked. It was more annoying than harmful. Wolf-Man was throwing a series of punches that were too fast for any of the other fighters to see, while his friend was doing combinations with kicks.

The instructor wasn't going down.

Goku caught the mohawk fighter's leg and began spinning him, causing Wolf-Man to go flying out of the ring. Not even a minute later, his friend landed right on top of him dazed and confused.

"Sorry about that!" He laughed. "You guys were tickling me too much!"

The other seventeen members, who had backed themselves onto the ropes, looked at the orange gi wearing man astonished. Wolf-Man and Takeshi were some of the most hyped fighters on the list and they were currently K-O'd on the ground within seconds of trying to fight Goku.

"Anyone else wanna talk smack!?"

The arena group looked around, wondering where the voice had come from. Chi-Chi hissed at the small red dragon who was hiding behind Hercule's boots. He snickered and did it again.

"HUH!? HUH!? WHO WANTS TO CHALLENGE THE PUMPKIN MAN!?"

Oolong's plan had gone awry when the one he was suppose to be protecting took a step forward. He cursed under his breath, watching as she continued towards the man she obsessed about for years.

You little brat...You're doing this on purpose!

Goku looked at his next opponent with a welcoming wave. Her cheeks were still bleeding. They were as red as her wristbands the belt around her waist. She made sure her ponytail was secure before getting into a fighting stance. The expression on her face was making it hard for Goku to tell if she was mad at him still, or sick to her stomach.

"You didn't eat the eggs they served this morning, did you? Boooooy, it gave me cramps."

"...What?"

Chi-Chi shook her head, deciding to dismiss a conversation about eggs. She wanted to get down to the real stuff. The only way to get this beautiful buffoon's attention was to kick his ass. She charged towards him and struck him in the jaw with the front of her fist. Goku felt the impact but did a back flip to avoid being struck in the same place.

"DON'T GO EASY ON HER, GANKY! SHE CAN HANDLE IT!"

You'd think he'd know names before opening that loud mouth...

Chi-Chi rolled her eyes at Hercule's words but he was right. All he was doing was blocking and no striking. Her hands became sharp tools when she began using a repetitively fast and snappy whip-like actions to his chest in the hopes of shocking him. Still, Goku defended himself. The more he did so, the faster her hands reacted.

"Long time, no see. Hmm?"

Her heaving chest wasn't distracting him from her eyes, which were nearly going blind from the sweat dripping from her forehead, which was covered by her bangs. She didn't stop attacking him. In fact, him talking made her angrier. "That's all you have to say to me!?"

The two looked like they were dancing around and around in circles. Goku would continuously grab her wrists and release them. He looked as puzzled as the ones observing the scene. "Did I do something that hurt your feelings?"

Chi-Chi was sweating so hard that she thought she was about to faint. She felt like drinking the entire ocean that surrounded her home for the next year. Despite her exhaustion, the teenager kept her focus on her opponent's innocent eyes. He honestly looked confused.

Oolong did tell her that Goku wasn't always the brightest Dragon Ball in the set.

She had to stop herself. The sweat was dripping onto the arena, and Hercule's nose twitched. He never thought a tiny thing like her would have so much...moisture.

"Lordy, I hope she showers before heading to the bunks..."

"Listen Goku, I-"

Suddenly, Chi-Chi was swept up from her feet. The instructor was holding her like the bride she was suppose to be, and was about to say. But Goku smiled down at her and she couldn't remember anything for a second. She wrapped her arms around his thick neck and looked at him adoringly.

"Sorry, Chi-Chi. Once I start a fight, I have to finish it."

In utter disbelief, she felt Goku gently toss her off the side of the arena onto the grass where Wolf-Man and Takeshi were still recovering. "What... did you just do?"

Laughing that stupid laugh, Goku leaned against the ropes and rested his chin on his growing arms. He looked down at the drenched Chi-Chi and winked. "I think I just beat you."

Before the woman could get to her feet and strangle him, a long haired stubby man who ran surprisingly fast for someone of his shape entered the fighting arena. Goku looked over his shoulder at him and continued his chuckle he had at Chi-Chi.

"Hey, Yajirobe! You gonna fight after all?"

"No!" He was more out of breath than Chi-Chi. "I have an important message! From Kami!"

Goku turned his body away from Chi-Chi so that he was facing Yajirobe fully. He started to leave the warriors to hear the surprising news, but Hercule cleared his throat.

"Hey, Boss Man! What do you want us to do!?"

The Saiyan earthling didn't even look at him. "Just partner up and spar! It'll be lots of fun!"

There was an outburst behind him and Yajirobe just shrugged. Whatever was going on back there was none of his business. The two opened the large red doors that led them to the outside walkway, where Krillin was trying to teach his group the Kamehameha wave. Even though he was failing, he smiled and laughed like they were having the time of their life.

It was like they weren't preparing for war.

"Alright, Goku. I'm just going to come out and say it. This whole thing is pointless. Kami said that you'll never be able to defeat the Saiyans if you don't go train with a guy named King Kai."

The messy haired hero nodded. Kami was never wrong. "And how do I contact this King Kai guy? Is he a friend of Master Roshi?"

"Well... That's the hard part. You have to die."

A half-dead Chi-Chi was carried back to the bunking area slung over the shoulder of Hercule. Oolong, now a bat, didn't want to hide anywhere near her stinking body. He floated above the two, keeping a keen eye and making sure the married man didn't try anything Oolong would do.

"What kinda fool..." Hercule couldn't even put his words together when he was infuriated. "He didn't even come back!"

The hairy man watched in jealousy at men who were in the groups with guys like Tien and Krillin were as happy as could be. The ones with the triclops had gathered around in bonfire while listening intently to his stories.

"Why couldn't Gogo be like that?"

Chi-Chi groaned. She didn't want to think about Gogo right now. She missed the opportunity to remind him about the promise he made to her. The Earth would most likely fall into the hands of the Saiyans because the main teacher of the army didn't even care about any of them. She stunk. She ached. All she wanted to think about was her bed.

Not these sorry excuses for a bed, either. Her bed that was made for a princess back on Fire Mountain.

"Are you sure you don't want to shower first?"

"I can't feel my legs."

Hercule sighed. At least his wife packed a nose plug for him. He dropped Chi-Chi down on her cot. Within seconds of himself getting comfortable, the hairy man began to snore loudly. Chi-Chi looked up at the ceiling of the tent and could see a bat descending towards her. Oolong cuddled himself on her pillow and was finally getting the rest he deserved.

After what felt like hours of tossing and turning, Chi-Chi had finally felt her eye lids grow heavy.

"...Just be sure to have the Dragon Balls gathered in time, alright? Wish me back when they've arrived."

"Are you sure about that, Goku? I don't think the guys and me... We won't be able to handle all these fighters-"

"Kami has something for you guys. Talk to Yajirobe. I just know what I have to do in order to keep this planet safe. Can you trust me on this Krillin?"

"I-...I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Heh, nope!"

"So when are you going to do it?"

"I'm not going to tell you because you'll try to stop me or get hurt in the process. Don't be surprised when it happens. Explain the situation to King Koku for me, ok?"

Chi-Chi did a double take to make sure Oolong was knocked out before sneaking out of the tent. She waited until she heard Goku bid goodnight to his best friend until she completely stepped out of the shadows. She followed him silently, hoping he wouldn't catch her. He never turned around once, being solely focused on his destination wherever that was.

The entire journey under the moonlit sky made Chi-Chi grow increasingly suspicious of that conversation. Why was he talking about the Dragon Balls and 'wishing back'? Did he not come back to their training because he gave up hope and decided to have someone wish them back with the Dragon Balls after being slaughtered by the Saiyans?

Chi-Chi jumped into a bush when Goku made an abrupt stop. She concealed her mouth from releasing a scream when the Demon King's son had descended from the dark sky. His sharp white fangs with he revealed an evil smile contrasted greatly against the darkness that surrounded them.

"I can't believe you're letting me do this."

"Best night of your life, right?"

Piccolo chuckled before placing two fingers on his forehead. A bolt of power began to form on them as he charged an attack. "This will take a few minutes. The longer it takes to charge, the better it is to kill you with."

"WHAT!?"

Chi-Chi cupped her own mouth when Goku jumped around to scan the area. All he saw were the strange animals of Papaya Island scurrying up some trees to have safety from the green monster's Special Beam Cannon. The messy-haired Saiya-ling shrugged his shoulders, assuming that all the warriors were asleep in their tents at this time of night.

He's going to let that creep kill him! What the hell is wrong with him!? He can't possibly think this is the most rational solution to anything!?

Chi-Chi's mind was racing. They haven't even had their wedding yet! These warriors and poor people of Earth needed Goku to stay alive! Truth be told, he's their only hope! Did he have this much anxiety over teaching that he was escaping from it!? And how does one live with this information? How could she let the one chance of Earth being saved destroy himself!? What kind of person would she be!?

The poor teenager with a wide range of emotions pulled her knees to her chest. Her shaking was causing the bush to move wildly. If she tried to fight Piccolo right now in her condition, she would lose. Her only options at this moment was let the hero die and allow Earth to crumble in the hands of the Saiyans, or...

"I love you Daddy. I know you'll understand one day."

She wiped her eyes furiously with her wristband and ran towards the world's only hope. She stood with her arms wide open in front of Goku as soon as Piccolo released his ferocious, deadly beam of light. It tore through her body, and the hole it made through her allowed it to happen to the one she was trying to save. The offspring of the Demon King looked down at the impaled bodies of the teens.

"She was either extremely brave or incredibly brainless."

As expected, Goku's body disappeared. Piccolo contemplated destroying the Dragon Balls from that blue-haired woman who no doubt had control of them, but shrugged his shoulders. As much as he wanted Goku gone for good, he may be of good use to kill those Saiyans who were slowly approaching Earth every day. Nobody was going to destroy the planet he was trying to rule.

Before disappearing into the night, Piccolo looked over his shoulder to see the body of the dead girl one last time to see just how much damage he unintentionally caused.

But the body was gone.