Chris called the guy, Avan, and asked him to bring Cooper back and to take a two hour break as well.
He spent his time with his dog, playing with him around his trailer, running with him and letting all his worries vanish in his sweat.
It happened that Chris had to finish his break thirty minutes before so he could take a cold shower and go back to the makeup room. Why did he think it was smart to run around the place with his dog and roll on the floor like there was no tomorrow?
He was in the elevator now with Darren and a few cameras around the place. The director shouted "action!" again and suddenly it hit Chris that this would be long, so to make it quick, Chris would have to do everything completely perfect.
The first couple of scenes were over by 10pm. Chris yawned while he was leaving the set, ready to go to his trailer and pack his things when Darren came running to him.
"Uh, hi." He said, scratching the back of his neck, fidgeting his feet nervously and looking down.
"You were amazing today and... Here." he handed down a little paper box to Chris who looked at him puzzled. "I-it's Cooper's medicine. He...he began with this allergy that starts every night. Now it must be on full mode." Chris took the box and shivered a little when his and Darren's hands touched briefly. He realized Darren gasped, too. They exchanged a look where they could almost look through each other and they sighed together.
"I... I really had fun with Coop today. But he's yours- no, let me speak," Chris said when Darren tried to interrupt. "I gave him to you and that makes him yours. I really miss him and I really-I-I…"
Fuck, why was this so hard? Chris' heart was beating fast.
"I really miss you, too." He admitted softly, almost mumbling. "And I just can't look at him without being reminding of me and you. I can't." Chris handed the box and when Darren made no move, he took Darren's hand in his and it was like they were both getting electrified. They stared at each other with such force that the entire place where they were standing seemed to have closed around them. They didn't know how much time they spent like that, reconnecting, their blood running through their veins, their hearts beating in the same pace. Chris was the one to break the moment, taking every force he had to cough and put the box in Darren's open hands.
"When did he start having that? He was healthy." He let go of Darren and took a step back, resuming a safe distance between them.
"I-I don't know. I just came home from the set one day and he was acting weird, sneezing and coughing and his bark was weird. I took him to the vet and the doctor said it would be because of the dirt, but... My place isn't dirty. So, anyway, I started cleaning the house every day, which is pretty tiring because, you know, sometimes we get out of here like, 3 in the morning, but okay. I did all that and still the things didn't stop, so I took him to another vet and the doctor said it was an allergy. He had a few exams and now he has to take this every night." Darren sighed sadly and Chris' eyes went wet because he knew from the times when Brian got sick that it wasn't easy.
"She…the doctor…also said that he must be missing something or someone. I actually told her I took him with me when I left home and she said it must be this. And I think she's right. Coop had Brian and had you around and a bigger house and now all he has is an always sad-looking papa, who mops around all the time he's home, who can never play with him and forgot to feed him one day." At the end of this, Darren was crying and Chris could see it was real, he could feel Darren and how sorry he was.
"S-sorry I-I'm so whiny right now, I did-didn't mean to cry in front of you, it's just that it's s-so har-hard failing in everything I do. I-I-I" A broken sob escaped his lips and his legs were failing him and just as he was about to fall, Chris got him in his arms.
"I got you. I'm here Dare-bear, it's okay, honey, I got you." Chris mumbled, holding Darren tight and kissing his hair. He rubbed his back softly as the other boy cried loud and achingly, clenching to Chris' shirt like his life depended on it.
There were so many things Chris had to say and now he knew that were a lot more he had to hear, but right now wasn't the moment. Darren has always been fragile and completely open to Chris and just to Chris, but seeing him like that, completely spent, broken and wasted was new and Chris couldn't handle this. That was when he realized he had started crying too.
They stayed like that, holding each other for a while and Chris could feel Darren loosening his hands on his shirt. Darren was a lot calmer now, though he got hiccups due to his meltdown. Darren looked up at Chris and sighed longingly. They stared, taking each other in while their eyes glistening with tears, and finally Darren kissed Chris' neck carefully.
"I-I-I should ge-get go-ing. I'll let Co-op with you, so ma-maybe he does-doesn't have this aller-gy to-today" Darren sniffed and shook his head and let go of Chris with difficulty once the taller boy was having a hard time letting go of him.
"Darren... We...You don't... You know, there's this spare room and, gosh, you look wrecked and you just can't go home like that. Do you... live alone?" The words seemed to take forever to leave Chris' mouth and his question, suddenly, was something he wasn't looking forward to knowing the answer.
"I do. Live alone. Just me and Cooper. It's a rental place next to here, it's not much, but there's no reason to live in a big... house." Darren took a deep breath before starting this sentence, which helped him to say it without stuttering and Chris felt grateful for it. He then realized that Darren had completely avoided Chris' request. Darren's eyes, always like a wide open window, now showed Chris only sadness. They were puffy and red-rimmed, and he just knew that if he
left Darren alone, at least tonight, tomorrow he'd look worse.
"Listen, uh... Come home with me." Chris mumbled, taking everything in his power to look at Darren's eyes and not break eye-contact. "That way, Cooper gets to be with both of us and you won't feel... alone. There are... some clothes you left there and you can sleep in the spare room. It kills me to see you like that, so... Let me help you. At least tonight."
Darren sighed sadly, but it gave him a little hope that Chris still cared about him and that he was willing to help him. He didn't have to come back to his place alone. Not tonight. Unable to form a proper sentence, he only nodded and when Chris smiled in relief, Darren almost felt like everything was okay.
He followed Chris, walking a few feet distance and almost smiled when he saw Chris interacting with the pet-shop guy. Chris suddenly undid Cooper's collar and the dog ran to Darren's direction as soon as he was free. Darren kneeled down on the concrete and Cooper threw his front paws to his shoulder like a hug, and Darren hugged him back.
"Hi, buddy. I love you." He muttered as he rubbed the dog's neck.
As they reached the parking lot, Darren waited to see whether they would drive separately or if they'd go together. Darren fidgeted his feet as Chris tried to act as normal as he could. He even let Darren carry Cooper so he would feel better. It happened that the allergy Darren had mentioned wasn't in full mode. It was just starting as the dog began to sneeze and whine and walk as close to Darren as possible.
"Does he do it every night?" Chris asked, looking at the scene puzzled, seeing how one was mirroring the other. He felt like he was invading some kind of intimate sadness that only Cooper and Darren shared.
"Yeah. Every night. When I come home he's waiting by door, which is usual, but he doesn't bark or jump. He just waits for me to come in, push me to the couch and lie on my thigh and keeps looking at me with this weirdly sad face. Then he starts to sneeze and his eyes get blood-shot and I'm always alarmed in case he starts to get puffy or stop breathing, I don't know." Darren wasn't stuttering anymore, but he took deep breaths every time he started speaking and was constantly looking at Cooper.
"Coop, buddy, papa can't walk with you almost getting inside me." Darren muttered to the dog as they walked towards Chris' car.
"He must have missed this tonight." He looked over at Chris, was right beside him. "Be sitting by the door and waiting for me. Though he looked pretty happy when we got to him just then and I don't like to leave him alone at the place. He deserves a lot more than that." Darren was speaking so low that Chris had to come closer to hear him clearly. He was thankful as he realized Darren wasn't asking questions about which car should he take or if Chris was really sure about what they were doing.
Chris opened the back door and Cooper promptly jumped inside the car. Darren gasped when he opened the passenger's side door in front of him. They stared at each other for a few long seconds and Chris felt his cheeks burning. Fuck, it wasn't cool that even after all these years and all this pain Darren still made him feel like this: a teenage boy beginning his life. Chris shook those thoughts away and smiled bashfully as he walked to the driver's side.
The ride home was relaxing, to say the least. Cooper fell asleep as soon as Chris turned on the engine and he and Darren only exchanged a little information about the dog. Chris asked most of the questions to make sure they didn't need to take him to another vet. After a few minutes, they fell in silence as Darren looked out the window, watching the city passing by. He sighed sadly again as a tear ran down his left cheek. Chris watched him in silence, not sure if he should take his ex-boyfriend's hand or if he should just let him be. He decided against his heart and kept his hands on the steering wheel, holding it tight as his knuckles went white. He focused on the road in front of him and hadn't realized he'd been totally tense until he felt Darren's hand on his. The curly-haired guy looking at him worried.
"Chris, you look tense. Like...really tense." He muttered and Chris shivered by the tone of his voice, combined with Darren's fingers squeezing his knuckles slowly.
"I-I'm sorry, I-I…" He harshly wiped away a tear that had just fallen. He bit his lip in attempt to just stop crying and get home already. They were so close.
Chris stopped abruptly in front of his house, startling Darren and waking up Cooper.
"Sorry, sorry, guys, I'm... Coop, sorry, honey, daddy is just...Fuck." Chris hissed the last word as he shook his head.
"Was it something I did? I'm sorry I touched you. I-it was just that you were so-so tense and I have no idea how to comfort you. I don't even know if I'm allowed to touch you anymore." Darren whispered and his eyes were, once again, shining under the dim lights of Chris' car as Chris turned to him, as they stared at each other again.
Chris' heart was screaming that Darren could do anything to him any time. That Chris was all his, that they could do whatever they wanted and it was okay because it was right. But he didn't say any of those things. Instead, he let his eyes wander through Darren's face, back to his puffy eyes and then down to his mouth as if taking Darren in, completely.
Chris didn't know when it exactly happened, but his face was now only a couple inches from Darren's. Their lips were so close that if Chris moved in just a little they would touch. Their noses were almost brushing and he placed his hand on one of Darren's cheek. The other boy turned his face to kiss Chris' palm, closing his eyes and oh, those eyelashes. Darren gave Chris' palm a few kisses and then placed it where Chris had put it. They came closer, as if it was even possible and Chris tugged on Darren's hair, now free from the gel as his curls were all almost dried. He let himself get lost a little in the moment, forgetting everything suddenly and treading his fingers through Darren's curls so right and carefully. Darren moaned low, as his lips started to part as if welcoming Chris' lips too. They brushed their noses against the other, without rush and it was perfect.
They were just re-knowing each other.
Darren's eyelashes brushed against Chris' cheek and he chuckled a little without breaking the moment. They brushed their lips slowly, breathing hard and just as Darren was about to tug on
Chris neck and really kiss him, Cooper barked loudly, breaking the moment completely and bringing the boys back to reality (ouch, reality hurts). He barked again, jumping on the backseat and sneezing at the same time.
Chris and Darren let go of each other as if they would burn if they ever touched again. Chris moved a little to see what startled Cooper so much. The dog was now sniffing the car door and putting his paws on the window. It was Brian that was watching them from inside the house and Cooper had managed to either smell him or see him, Chris wasn't sure. He looked at Darren and they exchanged a sad smile, jumping out of the car and opening the door. Cooper abruptly jumped on Brian and the weirdest thing was that the cat didn't seem startled at all. His tail was moving fast and he kept passing his paw on where he could reach Cooper and Chris was sure he'd never seen his anti-social cat acting like that. Not even when he spent weeks away from him.
He smiled at the scene and the tension between him and Darren seemed to vanish in the moment Brian came to greet them. He passed between their legs, accepting when Darren bent down to rub his body while Cooper ran around the house, sniffing everything he could, lying on his bed that was still there (Brian refused to sleep anywhere else since the dog went away) and sneezing a few times. He only stopped when the cat sat beside him. Darren laughed loud enough for Chris to hear and a proud sensation of finally doing something right washed over him as he watched his little family interact. He felt like he was floating.
Chris went to change into his pajamas and when he came back to the living room, Darren was already passed out on the couch. Cooper was next to his feet with his head on his papa's thigh and Brian near Darren's head. Yes, pets could really miss someone they loved. Chris watched that for a little while, but felt pity for Darren because when he woke up, his back would kill him from the position he was sleeping.
"Dare, Darrennnn...Dare-bear…" Chris whispered, shaking Darren a little. The sleeping man mumbled a little, but finally opened his eyes, giving Chris a weak smile.
"Am I dreaming?" He mumbled and Chris giggled because, oh fuck, his ex-boyfriend was so adorable.
"No, Sleeping Beauty, but if you spend the night here, say bye-bye to work tomorrow because you won't be able to get up." Chris helped Darren to get up and the pets groaned together, Chris leading Darren to the guestroom as the other boy was literally sleep-walking. As Chris helped Darren to get comfortable on the bed, the other man whined and their faces were too close again. Chris' breath hitched, but he just kissed Darren's forehead and left the room. The animals refusing to leave their other owner as Chris walked out of the room alone.
"It's like you two don't even love me anymore." He whispered towards the pets' direction, narrowing his eyes, only receiving a sigh from Cooper and a bitch glare from Brian who got comfortable between Darren's legs.
Chris entered his bedroom and sighed, falling on his giant bed. For one more time, it seemed too cold and too big and he remembered how close to Darren he had been today and dangerous it was.