I told you it was already long...

Would you like to know a secret? I don't own ANYTHING even remotely related to Naruto (except Noe, of course)

Over the next six months I stayed safely locked away in my flat. I did not answer the door when people knocked and I completely ignored the ones who had the nerve to just appear in my bedroom. I refused to meet with the Sandaime and I turned down every mission that I was offered. I stubbornly refused to talk with Jiraiya even after spending an agonizingly awkward three days with him sharing my bed. His way of thinking was that I would finally become sufficiently annoyed to at least yell at him and push out onto the floor thereby saying a few words.

I had other ideas, instead I read Icha Icha Paradise in front of him occasionally making appreciative sounds when I read something graphic. Jiraiya grew visibly uncomfortable when I pulled out the book knowing that most of the steamier scenes were based on actual escapades that Asuma and I had engaged in previously. Granted, Jiraiya had no idea as he eaves dropped one night on a table of drunken jonin that I was the insatiable woman Asuma described in such detail. He had been understandably mortified when the book was published and I quietly informed him that three-fourths of the hottest scenes was actually his former student. After reading a particularly hot scene that sparked my memory, I looked over at Jiraiya with a very naughty smile. I could see he read everything that my smile intended. I wanted to know if he ever reread Icha Icha Paradise and pictured me in those positions rather than the fictional heroine. Needless to say the legendary pervert couldn't handle such an accusing look from a girl he had known for most of her life. I woke up a day later to find him gone with a note on my pillow. I laughed out loud when I read the words, "You know I do." "Yep, still a huge pervert", I said as I slipped under the large comforter on my bed and blissfully resumed my hibernation.

I was rudely awakened one morning by rough hands dragging me out from under my cozy lair and transporting me to the Hokage's office. I sleepily rubbed my eyes and smirked to see the old man turn an alarming shade of red, as I stood before him in an almost see-through cami and impossibly tiny boy-shorts. I hooted with laughter when I realized that he had ordered my immediate retrieval without any side orders like, 'make sure she has pants on'. I smiled triumphantly at the old man and dared him to look me in the eye. He adverted his gaze by turning his back to me and began talking to the wall. Because I was still being an obnoxious brat and did not feel like cooperating I turned my back on the Hokage and transported myself back to bed.

That had been a horribly bad judgment call on my part. Within minutes of snuggling back under the covers a pair of strong arms pinned me to the bed. I started to curse and wiggle around trying to get myself free, but the large comforter that had been my most beloved friend for the past few months now became my most detested enemy and trapped me underneath refusing to give me an inch to retaliate. I collapsed in defeat with my face buried into the mattress.

"Why are you being such a bitch?" A disembodied voice said into the back of my head. He refused to lessen his hold on me as I tried once again to get free. "You and I are going on a mission. You have thirty minutes to get your pack together and meet me at the village gates. If you refuse to take this mission you will be put in solitary confinement until a proper punishment can be decided upon. Thirty minutes!" I inhaled deeply as the weight disappeared off my back. A million questions flew through my mind as I tried to untangle myself from the traitorous comforter; How far did I want to push my luck? How long could I stand being in solitary confinement? Who was that just now? What kind of punishment? I slowly got up and sighed and realized that I really didn't want to face the consequences of blowing off this mission. The six months of feeling sorry for myself were over and now I had to shut-up and get on with my life.

I slowly shuffled down the road to the gates of the village. I had two more minutes before I was officially late and I was still not in the mood to totally play by the rules. To my surprise no one was waiting for me when I got there. This was not funny at all! My irritability was still on the surface and my temperature rose each extra minute that I waited. I finally turned to the two chunin sitting in the guard box, "Hey, did anyone leave anything for me just awhile ago?" I asked with all the sweetness that I could muster. The two ninjas looked at me and shook their heads in unison. I sighed and returned to the gates. I would give that bastard ten more minutes then I was going home and going back to bed.

~xxXXxx~

"Aaaaand, time." I said as I stood up and wiped the dust off my ass. I turned to start my walk home when Kakashi sauntered up to the gates with his pack. "So glad some common sense got through to your stupid brain", Kakashi said without preamble. "Although, having been given the task of coming up with an appropriate punishment, I am slightly disappointed that you showed up."

I could see the outline of his smile through his mask. "Bastard", was all I could manage to say though I'm sure that my eyes were slowly disemboweling the genius in front of me.

He ignored my glare and lazily said, "ready"?

I shrugged. I didn't know any of the details of the mission; I didn't know how long I would be gone or how dangerous it might be. I watched Kakashi as he walked through the gates and started down the road without a single backwards glance. I hung my head defeated and slowly drug my feet to follow him. I was not looking forward to spending any amount of time with anyone, but to be spending this time with Kakashi was going to drive me to the brink of madness. I had spent enough time with Kakashi both before and after Obita's death to know the man well. He got under my skin, period. When he was a straight-arrow genius child shinobi he would constantly lecture me about the ninja code or proper technique. When he was the quiet, reflective, easy-going Copy Ninja he would constantly grate on my nerves with his mind-numbing aloofness. I had once confided in my brother that I thought he was mildly bipolar and needed professional help. Minato just smiled at me and told me that one day he would be the only man I would trust with everything, including my heart. Eight years later and I still think the Yondaime had been drunk when he made that statement. I trusted Kakashi as a comrade ANBU, but romantically? It made me snort just thinking about it. He was definitely not my type.

We walked in silence for an hour before he stopped and dropped his pack against a tree. He retrieved his ANBU mask and gear and started putting it on. "A Black Ops mission? Are you crazy? I haven't trained in months and I am certainly not going…" His cold glare shut my mouth for me. I dropped my pack at my feet but made no move to change into my ANBU gear.

Kakashi sensed the inactivity next to him and patiently asked, "You did bring your gear, didn't you?"

"Of course, I…" All ANBU shinobi were trained to pack their gear no matter what the mission was. High-level missions could change on the fly and no one ever knew when an escort mission would turn into an assassination that called for complete anonymity.

"Then, put it on". He interrupted, "Or do I need to help you get dressed?" He let out a low laugh as he stood up to adjust his armor.

As the captain and leader of this mission I had no choice but to follow orders. I huffed in disgust as I pulled my gear out and started changing. Kakashi watched in silence as I stripped off my regular uniform down to the mesh tee shirt I always wore. He gasped when he saw the bright orange bra through the mesh. I was still pouting and took no notice of the way he was ogling me. If I had been aware the mission would have been over at that moment. I finished adjusting my armor when I finally looked at him holding my mask in my hands.

"Good," He said with an approving nod, "Would you like to play a game?"

"C'mon, quit being a dick. What's the mission? How long? Blah, blah, blah." I still wasn't in the mood to play by the rules, and the last I wanted was Kakashi using my brother's tricks to get me to enjoy something. I looked at him with a completely blank expression waiting for him to continue.

He leveled his gaze at me and clenched his jaw. "We are to go to the border between the Land of Fire and the Land of Hot Water and wait."

"Wait for what? That border is almost a week away. How long is the supposed to take?" I could barely hide my impatience for having been dragged from my bed for a mission that didn't even really sound like a mission.

Kakashi shrugged, "That is entirely up to you."

He pulled out a map to show the route we were going to take. He folded it back up and looked at me. "Wanna race?" He asked his dark eye shining in anticipation. "I'll even give you a five minute head start."

"Don't flatter yourself Old Man." I said with no humor. "I'll see you at the border in three days."

Kakashi was left standing by himself in the forest holding his pack with a smile on his masked face. "Good girl", he whispered.

A day later Kakashi caught up with me. I was sitting on a high branch of an impressively large tree eating my lunch. He appeared next to me and sputtered his disbelief when he saw what I was eating.

"Where did you get that?" He asked looking around to see if there was some sort of market this far in into the uninhabited forests of the Land of Fire.

"Summoned it", I said talking with my mouth full.

"You summoned…a salad?" He asked incredulously.

I shrugged and held up the bowl and poked my fork into it to prove to him that it was indeed a salad that I was eating.

"A salad?"

"An impressive salad", I corrected, "And a very tasty one at that".

I could no longer suppress my grin when I finally looked at him and asked if he would like a salad, too. He nodded in anticipation to see the summoning seal that I would use to bring forth vegetables. He actually raised his hitai-ate off of his left eye so he could copy it with his Sharingan. I closed my eyes, made a few non-sense hand seals, then ceremoniously reached into my pack and threw a container at him. "I summoned it from my pack". I snorted almost choking on my lunch in the process. "I mean I know I am way above average, genius level really, but I unfortunately do not possess the ability to summon food. If I did wouldn't we have eaten better on previous missions?"

Kakashi laughed as he looked at the salad. He was relieved that my sense of humor and playfulness were returning. "You bring the weirdest shit on missions."

This was a true enough statement. On a mission that was slated to take over a month I brought a nausea-inducing pink stuffed bunny because I thought I would need it for something. Another time I brought a hair-dryer for no reason whatsoever. I shrugged, "This time it's not so weird," I said, "When I was packing I didn't know how long I would be gone and I hate coming home to a refrigerator full of rotten produce. I thought a couple of salads would save me the trouble of cleaning out squishy vegetables when I returned."

We ate in silence for a few minutes. From the height of the branch we were sitting on you could hear the wind blow through the leaves, it was so hypnotizing. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. It felt good to get out of the village and to be able to sit in the trees for next week or so on this fluffy mission. It calmed me so much that I felt like stretching out on the forest floor for a long nap.

"Noe…Hey Noe…OI! NOE!" Kakashi finally yelled shattering my daydream.

"Hmm", I murmured as I turned my sleepy gaze toward him.

"Your eyes," He began.

I was brutally slapped back into reality. I held up my hand and narrowed my eyes to stop Kakashi from speaking. "Look, for the past twelve years that I've had a Sharingan I have not needed it, hell, I made my brother alter my memories so I wouldn't remember even having it for that matter. And, I doubt that I will need it in the future. So, my decision is to let this tool wither and die inside my head or wherever it may live." I abruptly jumped up threw my pack over my shoulders and left Kakashi sitting in that beautiful tree wondering if he would ever be able to have a normal conversation about my eyes with me.