The Marriage of Ron and Cho

'Of all the Blast- ended Screwts' roared Cho to the Ravenclaw common room. 'Why did that stupid hat pick such a dung-brain! He has not one redeeming quality. He isn't nice, or funny, or good looking or intelligent. He isn't even good at Quidditch though he calls himself the Keeper. And worst of all, he's the best mate of Potter.' Cho flung herself into an arm chair and pulled at her hair. 'This is going to be the most miserable year of my life. It's my last year at Hogwarts and I will have to spend most of it glued to the ginger hairs side!'

'Hey, don't you complain' called a blonde haired girl across the room. I'm stuck with that Goyal bloke in 6th year. I really have never spoken to a person whose head was emptier than his.'

'At least that means you can make all the decisions about what you're going to do and stuff' called back Cho. Weasley will pretend he is happy and at the last moment he'll question everything and moan and scuff his feet and be a right pain.' She shook her head so that her black hair was flung back over her shoulders. Lisa, one of Cho's many friends looked up from her magazine and spoke

'You know what you have to do then.'

'And what is that? Put a silencing charm on his mouth for the whole year, or shall I just bewitch his hair to fall out as soon as it comes into contact with sunlight?'

'You've got to show him who the boss is. Tomorrow in class, make sure he understands in no uncertain terms that you are the dominant force. You make the decisions and he must follow them.' Cho looked around at her friend; a big grin had spread across her face.

'That's so good Lisa. I've got to make my mark. If I put him in place from the start then I have the power to decide what we do.' Cho leaned back in her chair smiling absentmindedly at the fire. 'Maybe this marriage won't be such a bad thing after all.'

Tuesday morning was the first ever marriage lesson for all the couples. Due to the number of students participating, the lessons were being taught by a variety of teachers in an array of classrooms all over the school. Ron and Cho were in the class of Professor Snape and as usual were with him in the dungeons. Whilst other couples met in the Entrance hall and went to the lesson together, both Ron and Cho had made separate ways to the classroom. Cho was already there when Ron arrived and glumly he went and sat with her in the middle of the room. This wouldn't have been his choice of seat; he always went for the back. She looked utterly revolted as he sat next to her.

'What?' he asked, getting out parchment and quills.

'Did you bother to comb your hair this morning?' she asked in a haughty voice. Ron opened his mouth to answer but with a swish of his cloak, Snape appeared in the doorway. He too looked like he would rather be eating slugs than educating a load of students in the essence of marriage. While Snape was busy taking the register Ron thought about whether Snape was married. He couldn't imagine it but then that man did surprise you in the strangest ways.

'Settle down, settle down' instructed Snape from his seat at the front of the class. 'You are all here to learn the subject of marriage. In these sessions you will be learning what a marriage is and to create a successful one. Now, can anyone tell me the 5 essences of a good marriage according to the Ministry of Magic?' the room remained quiet. Ron was surprised. Always being in a class with Hermione meant that he had never experienced a moment when a question went unanswered. A girl from the front row raised her hand.

'Yes Wendy'

'Discussion, resolution, compromise, partnership and an open mind.'

'Good. These words are the ones on which a successful marriage is theoretically based upon.' Snape continued. 'You will discover throughout this year, whether you find this to be true. Also...' Ron felt his eyes glaze over. A whole year of this. Lectures on marriage. He wasn't even planning on getting married for at least another 10 years. Maybe more if the whole lot had to be learnt via a textbook. He felt an elbow in his side and jolted.

'Copy the words on the board' hissed Cho looking annoyed. Ron looked round the class, everyone else was busy writing on parchment. Hastily Ron scribbled the words on the board not even reading them properly. He finished and looked round the dungeon again. He was surprised. Everyone else was still writing away though they had clearly had a head start on him. Ron shrugged and began doodling on the desk.

'Quills down. As I say your name you will read your vows aloud to the class' called Snape looking revolted as he said the words. Ron was startled. Cho had said copy the board. He nudged her.

'Cho, were we meant to do vows as well?'

'Yes of course we were, weren't you listening' replied Cho looking exasperatedly at him. Snape, seeing the discussion between the two stood up.

'Well it seems that Miss Chang and Mr Weasley are anxious to share their words of sentimentality. Up you come, you two can go first.' Cho walked confidently to the front and began before Ron had even reached the front row of desks.

'I vow, my darling Ron, to be kind and caring and patient. I will always look out for you and be there for you. If ever you are in need of a companion or confidant, you can rely on me.' Cho smiled as she read the final line. Ron gapped at her. The toe-rag. She had completely given him the wrong instructions and she then had had the cheek to write vows expressing care. Snape was not aware of this.

'Thank-you Miss Chang. Mr Weasley you may precede.'

'Erm...' Ron's mouth was dry. He decided to lie. If she was going to play dirty then so was he. 'I promise Cho that I will always listen to you words and respond to your actions. I also promise to equal your actions. You will never stand alone and can depend on me to offer advice in any way necessary.'

'Is that all Weasley? Only your parchment seems to have many more words written on it. I would hate for Miss Chang to miss out on any other of the sentimentalities you have written.' He extended his hand and glumly, Ron handed him the parchment. There was an icy silence. Snape looked right into Ron's eyes.

'Detention Weasley. It seems that you were so confident of your vows that you felt no need to write them out but instead to copy out the potions method for the third years next period. Sit. Ron caught Neville's eye as he slouched back to his seat. Judging by the look on his face, Pansy had fed Neville the same lie that Cho had fed Ron. Cho, on the other hand was smiling broadly.

'Yes yes yes!' cried Cho at break-time. 'I totally showed Weasel who was the boss. He made a right fool of himself today. He won't bother making any effort from now on in those classes.' She and the rest of her friends continued their chat, making their way out of the castle and into the grounds. On their way, they passed Harry, Ron and Hermione. Cho threw him a sarcastic smile and waved. Ron preteneded to vomit.

'Not good then' commented Hermione. 'I didn't think she would be over excited at having you for a Husband.'

'And what's that meant to mean.' Ron was looking accusingly at Hermione.

'Oh I don't mean it as a reflection on you. Only that, well, Cho is known only to date a certain type. Those who don't have an once of common sense and who are only focused on their appearance. You're too intelligent for her, and you have more interests than how your nose looks at a 38˚ angle.'

'Cedric wasn't' Harry remarked quietly.

'Yes, well, there is an expecption to every rule.' Hermione brushed off the comment wishing Harry hadn't opened his mouth. Ron still wasn't looking convinced. A voice from behind them spoke with an excited voice.

'Ron you've got to get revenge. You've got to put your foot down and say that you won't stand being treated like a mug.' Neville was standing there looking as though he had just won a competivite duel. His cheeks were bright red and there was a big lopsided grin on his face. He joined the circle and continued. 'That was low what she did. Pansy did the same. So I changed the words on her parchment. Trust me you feel so much better afterwards.' Harry, Ron and Hermione were staring at Neville as though through new eyes.

'You mean, you got revenge-'

'On Pansy-'

'And the spell worked!' All three were looking impressed. Neville grinned.

'Well the spell didn't work completely. I meant to change the words to the ones on the board as well but I only managed to change the language. She was reading Latin. Still, it had the same effect.' The group exchanged looks. Harry laughed and said 'It seems this marriage game isn't going to go quite as smoothly and fairly as Dumbledore had hopped.

'Well' commented Hermione 'they say all is fair in love and war!'