Chapter II-1862
So I've decided that I'll have every chapter be a year in the life of Erich Wagenmann, and every year be an adventure. If anybody is actually reading this, then post a review. I mean Jesus y'all.
Erich Wagenmann was in good spirits. School had just let out for summer and he was quite pleased. However high marks he could have achieved, he simply didn't care about the school, it's teachers, or most of its subjects, so he was a C student. He was fast turning into a specialist type of man, one that when he put his mind to something he could accomplish whatever he wanted to almost with it, but until he chose what to do he would be a failure. His ears perked up slightly as he heard his friend Stanislaus yell to his left. He was obviously angry, and walked off in a huff, leaving his girlfriend Wendelin alone by Starke's Pond. Erich never missed a chance to screw with Wendelin, so he moved his fat ass over there. "Hey Wendelin...what happened? He find you sleeping with Kenneth?"
She simply glared at him with the rebuttal of, "Shut your fat ass up. You don't know anything. He's simply being effeminate and sensitive." Erich chuckled at hearing this, following up, "And why did you go for a Pole like him when you could be with a real man?"
Wendelin saw through him and said, "If I wanted to be with a Wagenmann I'd fuck your cousin Candide. Last I heard he was on a farm in Spain?"
Erich was sensitive about this, mainly because Candide was actually his older brother AND cousin, due to his mother being an incestuous whore that only Erich found the space in his heart, however small, to love. So, as youth are bound to do, he snapped and yelled, "Shut the fuck up, you hairy bitch! Shut the fuck up! Your parents are Communist anyhow. What do they know..."
Wendelin simply looked in his eyes. And through looking in his eyes she found a boy. A boy different from all of the others really, one who was not lovable. One who was indeed fat and insensitive, as well as hateful and arrogant. But she also saw that small spark of brilliance, that evil brilliance, that could one day propel him to the top. And would, if he had someone to temper it, for he himself would doubtless become drunk on said brilliance and ruin it all. She saw this and didn't know what to make of it, as 10-year-olds often don't. So she simply walked up and punched him in the nose for his insolence, and stalked off.
As Erich stood staggered over, one hand over his face, he watched her walk away and was fascinated, because he knew he had found the motivation and brilliance, albeit manifested in a different form, present in another.
Erich turned, only to be met by Klaus and Stanislaus laughing in hysterics from a distance at him. Those two were sons of whores, Klaus in particular for practicing Judaism, which Erich had learned to hate from the father of his only close friend, Kenneth. Now this wouldn't be enough, but Erich had came from their very modest house after this particular anti-Semitic rant and asked a random man in the street what he liked about Jews, to be met with silence. That was when he realized that all Jews were subversive to society and must die. This was only reinforced by Klaus. Klaus Broflovski was the son of a lawyer, and his mother was even fatter than Erich, but, like Erich, was driven. However, Erich only saw that she was a dirty bitch who tried to protect the children of Südenpark from any so-called "danger" that she saw in their lives, including foul language and even the thought of alcohol. He had even composed a song about her. It was quite the hit among the local youth. As it was, he saw the sun setting and started his course home.
R&R
(yes I know the story goes off on literally every tangent but this is Eric Cartman's thoughts. Do you think they're organized?)