Running away

Gone? She was gone? She couldn't be gone… it simply was impossible… She couldn't just have left like that… right?

One letter… that was all they got? All he got? One letter. That was all she had left behind. Everything else was gone, she hadn't even forgotten on lonely sock. Everything was gone. She was gone.

She had left him… like everybody else. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn't be mad. Anger might have overpowered the pain, the overwhelming pain ha was feeling. Nobody had ever made him feel anything like it before.

She… there had always been something about her. Something different. And now… now she was gone. Gone?

He looked down at the letter in his hand. The letter he had read so many times he already knew it by heart. And he read it one more time.

"Ted, Lily, Marshall and Barney

When I first sat down to write this letter my mind was blank, nothing seemed to fit. I had and still have a lot to say. But I know that no matter how much I write and no matter how long this letter becomes, it won't be enough. And you guys deserve so much more.

I consider you my family, and leaving you will be much harder that it was to leave my actual family. It was a difficult decision to make. And I have tried everything to avoid it. But staying it to painful right now…

I hope to someday come back. And I hope that you all still will be there then, I hope you won't be too mad. All tough I will completely understand if you were.

Ted I sent all my things back home so it wouldn't be in the way and so you would have an extra room you can do whatever you want with. I hope you soon will find what you are looking for. You deserve to be happy. You opened my eyes to a lot of things, sometimes I wish you didn't but I know that deep down I will always be thankful. We both know that I wasn't it for you (and you weren't it for me), but I love you. You are one of my best friends. I will miss you.

Lily and Marshall, I tried to write yours separately but it didn't work. I think you have the kind of relationship most people dream of and I hope everything goes well in the future too. I know you will always be there for each other and that actually makes me happy and confident that you can do anything. Remember to look after Ted and Barney they might not admit it but sometimes they need it, and sometimes the like it. I love you guys and I will miss you like crazy.

Barney…Barney…Barney… There is so much to say but the words don't always seem to come. I can't wish you luck with all your girls or your next well thought out lye and scam. And I can't lie to you, not even on paper. You know me… maybe too well. I love you… That is never going to changes. I want you to know that. Few people know you like me. Few people have seen sides of you that I have. You look yourself away, you don't let anyone in. I don't know… maybe I do hope you will find someone to open up to. I at least wish that if you do you actually let her in. It is weird to think about… I love you Barney more than anything. And even if I'm willing to admit that it is you I'm running from I will miss you the most.

I know I should have talked to you all about it before leaving but I just couldn't. Every other time I have left or talked about it I had a plan. Now I don't. Everything is different. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how long I will be gone. I just know I have to do this.

I love you guys (it is so much easier to say it in writing). I will send you a letter or something to let you know I'm okay.

Robin"

She had left… gone off to some unknown place for god knows how long… and this was all she left him with. He wanted to scream or something. How could she not know that she was the only girl he would ever consider open up to? How could she ever think that there might be somebody else someday? It all seemed so wrong to him. He would never love somebody like he loved her that was one of the few thinks he was sure of.

The others had taken it fairly well he thought. Lily had said something about having a feeling that something like this would happen. Marshall had said that even if it was sad that she was gone it might be good for her to get a way for a while. Ted had been mostly quiet but right before Barney and the letter left he had said something about long sad nights and things might looking up. So all in all he was pretty sure that they wasn't mad, and neither one of them seem extremely surprised. To him it came as a shock. But they said it had been clues, he just had missed them.

He looked down at the letter again, at all the words in her handwriting. He couldn't just sit around here waiting for her to take contact. If he had hurt her as much as he got a feeling he had he needed to fix it. He also needed to make some thing clear to her. Like the fact that he wasn't good for her. Like the fact that she was better off without him. Like that fact that he loved her and even if they never got back together there would never be anybody else. The last he could promise her. He couldn't promise her the world. Relationships seared him. But he needed to make sure that she would be okay, and not just physically. He needed her to come back soon, and he needed to tell her.

Where do you start tracking down a girl who wasn't ever sure where she was going?