Forever
Although my mind wanders, I keep my eyes focused on the spoon handle hanging from my mouth, the Ice cream melting in my mouth providing an adequate distraction from the unbridled desire to watch you. Ah, Yui, Big Sis, just being like this together does make me feel so warm inside. Is that why I have these intense feelings? Is it the hot warm feelings you fill me with, the kindness you show me.
I'm seeking something I can do...Anything for you!
"Ah! Ui, the Ice Cream you picked this time is delicious! It tastes like...Hmm...Sweet, really sweet! It's like bubble gum! Heheh!" Yui laughs, scooping another spoon full into her mouth. My smile returns, hearing that melodic voice is so...calming. I push my thoughts, my dirty perverted thoughts aside.
...There's no reason I can't still enjoy my time with you, even from this distance
"You like it Big Sis? Ah, I'm glad! I thought that something sweet would be a good change of pace." I happily reply, placing the spoon I hold into my bowl. By comparison, mine seems much fuller then my Sister's, a normal dessert time. "You're the best Ui!" she smiles, eliciting a rosy blush across my cheeks of mixed embarrassment and happiness. "Big Sis..." I whisper sheepishly, making her grin widen further. Still, for some reason, those comical mannerisms of yours never seems to cease entertaining me. And for the moment, I relax on my seat, stretching my feat under the table.
Thank you for appreciating me so much...
I take another spoonful of the pink frozen cream into my mouth and savor the flavor, thinking about the after dinner chores I'll need to do before we go to bed. I hope Yui will have enough time to practice, she's been so diligent with her guita-Gitah, and it shows. Each time I listen to her performances, they seem to flow with more energy and rhythm then before. It's captivating to watch her let loose on stage.
...Of course, I remain planted in the back, watching shyly
I wish I could come up on stage with you, to be apart of that excitement in your life, to share it
Though, it isn't too much longer until I realize something is amiss, how...unusually quiet it is. Mostly Yui takes to the talking, and I listen, I've always been more of a listener. It's fascinating to hear about her day, or her thoughts, like a glimpse into her world. It's sort of magical, how you view the world, your cheerful attitude is infectious and I can't help but yearn to hear more. A nervous feeling wells up in my chest, hoping that I haven't been too inattentive. I look back at you, feeling confused to watch you staring up into the ceiling...perhaps not all that unusual for her character, but...being her Sister, I know it is not her usual mannerism. "Ah...Yui, Big Sis, you're...sort of quiet...is something the matter?" I ask, scooting closer, searching for perhaps what could be troubling her.
"Oh." Her head drops down to its rightful angle, turning to look back at me, staring for a moment, our eyes meet and I quickly avert mine, feeling twice as anxious as I was before.
Did I do something?
"Umm...No...not really" She says, in a tone unknown to me, as if absentmindedly considering another train of thought. Big Sis isn't a very good liar, of course I can tell something is bothering her, I know her too well, but I won't press her, she'll tell me when she's ready.
...I Hope.
Her eyes suddenly divert to the remaining food in my cup. "Ah!" her eyes light up, and I see that her own is empty. Devoured completely. Sometimes I wonder how she eats so well and stays so beautiful. I'm envious. She looks back up to me, giving a sly smile. "...Ui-" she begins, putting a finger to her chin, tugging her lip. Oh! It's too much, she's too adorable! I smile back, anticipating her request. "-Here" I slide my bowl towards her, nodding my head.
"Yay!"
...The look on her face, the excitement lit across her cheeks...how could I say no to that?
How could I not facilitate that warmth? The very same that heats my heart.
I sigh as I watch her hungrily scoop a large, melted glob of pink into her mouth. "Mmm!" she sighs, as if the beast in her stomach has been quelled of its lust for food, "...Ah. It was good" Yui smiles back at me. Though, in her hast, she'd left a few splotches of the treat on her face. "Jeez Big Sis, now you've got it all on your face..." I sigh with playful exasperation, leaving my Sister this time to feel embarrassed. My hand takes a napkin from the table, raising it up to her cute face, clearing her pale skin of the blemishing color.
...So soft.
I feel my heart thump rather loudly as my fingers pass her lips. Lingering an eternity longer then I should have let them...
She must have noticed that rather...affectionate gesture? Yes, I can see by her flushed cheeks that she did. In a panic I take the porcelain on the table, gathering up the silverware, hastening to stand up. "I'll go put these away, why don't you go up to your room and practice with Gitah Big Sis?" I manage to blurt out, making a quick exit and leaving my bewildered Sister.
Why can't I control these emotions?
It's addicting...to give into your desires.
She'd never see this the way I do...
"Ui...you stupid!" I muttered under my breath, hoping Yui didn't take that the wrong way. Maybe I was just over reacting? Yui wouldn't think of it like...that. Isn't it right to be affectionate with her? My only, lovely Sister.
...It would be okay if you could still differentiate between romantic and familial affection.
I close my eyes in frustration, taking a deep breath, and pushing these confusing thoughts to the back of my thoughts. I don't need to stress myself like this. Reaching for the dirty dishes I begin to busy myself with cleaning them, that helps me forget. The rushing water over my fingers helps distract me from these self destructive thoughts, allowing me to methodically finish cleaning up for the night, putting away the dishes and cleaning the table. I notice Yui has gone up to her room, and decide to turn out the lights and walk upstairs. "I wonder how Big Sis is doing..." I whisper under my breath, stopping by my room to change into my pajamas.
I knock on her door, "Yui...How's practice?" I ask, letting myself into her room and shutting the door behind me. She looks suddenly up towards me, Gitah held limply in her hands, she seemed distracted a moment ago...
"Ah! Ui!" she smiles, patting a spot on her bed beside herself, gesturing to come sit with her. "...Hmm...somehow...It just seems hard to get my fingers to play Gitah tonight..." her hand rubs the back of her head sheepishly, eliciting a chuckle from me as I sit beside her, looking towards her guitar.
"Eh? Really? Are your fingers hurting?"
"Oh, no. Its just a little hard to concentrate I guess." Yui lifts the guitar from her lap, pulling the strap from her body and setting the musical instrument down in its stand nearby. "Kind of like...when you have something on your mind and its too hard to focus on much anything else."
…Isn't that always the way with her?
I feel myself involuntarily laugh, "Hehe. It seems like that's often the case with you, Big Sis" I chide, covering the smile on my face with a hand.
"Ooh!" Yui turns to me, with a glare too forced to take seriously, making me laugh harder. "How rude! Talking about your sister in such callous terms!" she declares with emphasis, suddenly launching herself at me, taking us both down onto the bed with myself squealing from surprise. Both of us laughing joyfully as we lay across the bed, Yui holding me down from behind. My hands reaching up to hold the arms wrapped around me, both of us relaxing across the bed for a moment.
This is nice...being held by Yui like this...
"So...Big Sis, what's on your mind?" I ask absentmindedly after a brief silence of embrace. She does seem uncharacteristically quiet today, so perhaps it is something rather distracting.
"...Umm..."
Umm?
"Is there something bothering you Yui?" I ask curiously, thinking back to what she had said during dinner, the both of us sitting back up onto the bed. For a moment I waited in anticipation as she stared at various things around the room.
"...W-well...umm..." She hesitates, another lingering silence, and just as I'm about to open my mouth, she stutters timidly. "Ui...H-have you ever...kissed a girl?" asked cautiously, whilst twiddling her thumbs.
What?
"What?"
"Forget I asked!" Yui waved her hands embarrassed, looking away and attempting to change the subject quickly.
With a coy smile to my lips, I turn around in her arms, looking up to her flustered face.
"W-well. No, I've never...kissed a girl. Why do you ask Big Sis?" I countered, feeling a light blush coming on, wondering where this topic suddenly came from.
"Uhh...Umm...Well you see, I was talking with M-Mugi today and the topic...just kind of...came up in conversation." I raised my eyebrow. "Ah! Well, Mugi was wondering, if I had ever k-kissed a girl...since she...Umm...wanted to know what it was like!" she explained. Thinking back, I could recall Azusa talking about Tsumugi's fixation with...how did she put it? 'Affection between girls'...Or something like that. It seemed cute. This prompted my own thought though.
What one would give to feel her lips under theirs...
"...H-Have you?" I inquired.
"No!" Yui quickly replied, blushing. It suddenly felt very awkward, talking about...girls kissing. I tried to think about what would happen in those shoujo mangas I liked to read. I had no idea what my sister might be thinking...Could...could she possibly want to experience it herself? My heart fluttered at the very notion. I opened my mouth, but paused, thinking about how best to phrase this, Yui looking at me quizically.
"Do...you w-want to?...T-to kiss a girl I mean, big sis?" I whispered lowly, so quietly I wonder if you can even hear me. My body feels so hot, when did it get so hot in Yui's room, I feel like I'm burning up.
But it's not the room that's hot...is it?
I've never felt like this before, dying of anticipation, as I wait patiently for your answer.
It does not come quickly, as I look up, not so innocently to Yui, I can tell the words are stuck in her throat, as she struggles to answer. Yui opens her mouth, but it closes, it opens again, but still nothing. I didn't realize how hard it would be to answer, but with each passing second, I become more and more sure I already know what she'll say.
"Yui...it's okay, no matter what you say...I'll always love you" I speak softly, giving her body a small, reassuring squeeze with my arms.
More then you'll ever know...
"Ui..." I can see her body relax, the pent up tension disappearing and I'm happy, knowing how much she values me, my feelings. "Y-yeah...I...never thought about it b-before Mugi said anything...but...I k-kind of want to try...I guess...someday " Yui chuckles shyly. Scratching her cheek.
"What about me?" I blurt out suddenly, much to my own surprise as hers, as I immediately berate myself for allowing such an impetuous outburst.
But she doesn't follow.
"What?" Yui asks quizzically.
Don't you get it?
I hold back a frustrated huff, the least she could do is save me the embarrassment of explaining myself. "I-I mean... umm..." and now I find myself in a similar situation as my sister found herself in moments before, pausing each time I almost seem to be able to utter my intent. As her face seems to light up, I feel that she's caught on to my meaning just as I begin to speak again. "I m-mean..." I think my face must be bright red, it feels really hot all the sudden. "W-what about...umm...w-would you...want...to...try with m-me?" Oh god, how could I really suggest this? My horrified imagination can only think of your disgusting reaction.
The next few seconds feel like the longest of my life.
At least she's as red as I feel...
"O-okay..." she finally replies.
What?
"What?" I ask ludicrously, feeling...shocked. She...really wants to...with me? My jaw feels slightly ajar...I hope I don't look too stupefied.
Am I dreaming?
"I m-mean...if you w-want to..." Yui stutters, her cute eyes averted from my own blank stare. This is too much, my heart, it feels like it's going to burst from my chest. I can hear it's heavy, quick beats. It's almost dizzying.
Our eyes meet suddenly, briefly, before we both avert our faces abashed. This is just too much, I practically want to jump up and run away from this. But I can't, my body is glued in place...I've been waiting for this opportunity, this chance, for too long, too long to be ruined by some fleeting bashfulness.
Carefully, I begin to sit up, my arms only momentarily leaving her sides, and she follows, the twixt of us sitting in each others lap, our bodies so close. I'm burning up, but I don't care. I look Yui in the eye, as if asking for her permission. I only receive a vague nod, and that's all I need, all I want, all I care for, as I place the palm of my right hand on your cheek, tilting your head to the side
I just want you...now.
Our faces inch closer, slowly, agonizingly, I can hear my heart pounding like a drum in my chest as we near and my tongue licks my lips in anticipation. "Yui..." I murmur softly, closing my eyes as we connect.
It is all I ever dreamed.
I sigh, as our lips shift against each other blissfully, and for once...I don't have to worry, I don't even have to think. My mind can just stop for a second, as I enjoy this moment. My arm tightens around her as she does the same, my thumb caresses her cheek.
And...then...it's over...just as soon as we came together we came apart, our faces hovering so close together, our eyes heavy lidded. "Ui..." she mumbles half dazed.
But I don't want this to end. I want more. And jealously, I press my lips down against her's again, capturing them, oblivious to her muffled cry of surprise. But nonetheless willing. I don't care...we don't care, as our 'kiss' becomes something more. And before I know it, my body is pressed down against hers, as I lay atop it across her bed. The next few moments seemed to pass in a haze as our saliva mixed, and my mind lost track of itself immersed in a fog of contentment.
This is...wonderful...
You have never felt so at ease...
And eventually, we part, my face ducking into the crevice of Yui's neck, snuggling against her, our arms wrapped around each other. And we can lay contently in the others embrace, panting out of breath from our...our...
Lovely makeout
It seemed to happen so fast, so...unexpectedly...but the smile on my face did not waver at all. And...for the meanwhile...my worries...my fears, all melted away. Inconsequential.
"Was that good?" I ask in a hushed whisper.
"Mmhmm..."
Our breathes return to normal. We rest next to each other, silently...for...who knows how long. Before I suddenly remember I haven't completed all my afternoon chores, and I realize that it's become late. How long could we have stayed like that? It only felt like a few minutes as my mind had drifted...
"Yui? C-can I stay with you tonight?" I ask apprehensively, waiting for an answer...waiting...waiting? I look up and see your wearily drooping face, already fast asleep, and reflexively I giggle. "Oh Yui...you're adorable" I whisper, leaning over to give you a little peck on your forehead. I don't feel like disturbing this moment, waking her up to ask. "Goodnight Yui, big sister...I love you..." I mumble to myself, thinking maybe I saw a twitch of a smile as I pull the covers over the two of us.
So...so much...
If only this moment could last an eternity for you...
It doesn't matter to me that we're sisters. I don't care how wrong this is, how wrong my feelings should be. Right now I've never felt so calm, peaceful. I would trade the world for this. For her. As I drift into unconscious sleep...I think about how things between us might-will change. I wonder if...just if...we can become...even closer then sisters. No matter what anyone says...
As long as I have you...
XOXOXOXO
Author's Notes: I apologize for taking so long to update this. Initially I had to put off responding so long due to imminent finals back when I first started this chapter. Bit...afterwards I just lost the motivation. Half this chapter was written for so long before I got the inspiration to finish it. I apologize.
The italics indicate Ui's inner monologue, with interjected second-person pov. Second person perspective is just so literately rare I thought I'd give it a shot.
This chapter is what my initial brainstorming, before the preceding chapters, had envisioned. I'm not sure if I will continue, I had thoughts on where this story can go from now, if I can find the motivation to write a fourth chapter that is. I think creating those heart wrenching first chapters was crucial to making this one so sweet though, I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for the reviews and constructive criticism. I may or may not change my use of honorifics, but, for this story, I've already opted not to, so doing so now would be too jarring.