Chapter 3- Of Goodbyes and Hello's
The funeral service had been her own personal hell. She had felt like she would suffocate under the atmosphere. She'd been sat between her Aunt Elaine and Ron. The silences were over whelming, offering her no concealment for her cries. When they had brought in the coffins her legs nearly buckled out from underneath her. Ron had put an arm around her to keep her standing.
The rest of the service had gone by in a blur. She'd barely felt conscious during most of it, barely listened as friends and relatives got up to talk about her parents. She was glad she'd refused to stand up and make a speech. That would have just about finished her off and she didn't feel the need to make her own personal breakdown a public display.
After the funeral everyone had returned to her parent's house. It was for all intents and purposes a wake, but Hermione didn't want to use that name. A wake…awake. She found herself wandering why no one had ever thought of the irony when they had first used the name. For it suggested a conscious state of awake and whoever you had buried certainly wasn't in a conscious state.
So here she was surrounded by relatives, most of whom she hadn't seen in years. She made her way to the kitchen where Elaine and Mrs Weasley were sorting out the food.
"Can I do anything?" She asked.
"No dear, we've got everything under control." Said Mrs Weasley.
"Yes, you go and see everyone sweetheart." Said Elaine
"Oh, ok." She replied. She had been hoping she'd be able to avoid talking to people under the pretence of being busy serving food. She just wasn't in the mood to listen to people say how sorry they were. But what could she do? If she demanded they let her help, they'd only worry more about her mental state. People were walking on eggshells around her enough as it was.
"Don't you worry about anything. We're here to help." Said Mrs Weasley as she ushered her out of the kitchen.
Don't worry about anything. Yeh, that should be easy.
She walked into the front room to face her relatives.
"Hermione." Someone called.
Hermione groaned inwardly. This voice belonged to her Aunt Janet. Out of all her relatives, Janet was probably the one she wanted to talk to the least. She was family in the smallest sense of the word. She may have been her father's sister but biologically was where the connection ended. They only ever saw her at family events, whether happy or sad. Hermione's Mum had hated her and even her Dad hadn't been keen and she was his sister. She was the sort of person that thought herself above everyone else in the family. To say she was a snob was an understatement, she had always criticised her parent's house whenever she was round.
"Auntie Janet." Hermione turned around to face her and attempted to put even the smallest hint of enthusiasm into her voice.
"How are you darling?" Janet asked.
"I'm fine." She lied, knowing full well that Janet wasn't interested in hearing the truth about how she was feeling. "How are you?" She asked in return.
"Oh I'm ok." Her aunt replied. "I was just telling people how desperately sorry Thomas and Isabelle are that they couldn't be here."
Thomas and Isabelle were Hermione's high achieving, super motivated and ambitious cousins. They were like her in so many ways, not that her parents had ever been able to let Janet know that, they would've been lucky to get a word in edgeways. Hermione knew she was about to hear just how wonderful and fabulous there were.
"Thomas had a big meeting at his office today. He tried and tried to get out of it but just couldn't. You know how it is what with him being promoted to department manager, they really can't do without him." Janet droned on. "And Isabelle is still completing her travelling. Did I tell you she's been helping to build a school in Tanzania?"
"No you didn't." Hermione replied, although she was barely listening. "How wonderful for her." She wandered if that sounded as sarcastic out loud as it had in her head.
"Yes well we're very proud of them both. But enough about my kids. I really was so desperately shocked when I heard about Graham and Jane." She said.
"We all were." Hermione replied. She honestly had no words more meaningful than this to say to her. She was already planning an excuse as to why she had to get away from her. Janet was speaking again but Hermione had lost concentration once more.
"…so awful. I can only begin to imagine how you must be handling things."
Because precious Isabelle and Thomas have never had to deal with anything of the sort. She replied silently in her head.
"And what will you do with the house?" She looked around the room with the snobbish look she had perfected when walking into Hermione's parent's house. "You're far too young to live here by yourself. If you were to sell, you'd have to re-decorate of course. You parents always had such outdated taste." She let out a small chuckle obviously thinking she was talking about some funny quirk her parents had had. Hermione felt anger rising as her Aunt continued to talk about her parent's house.
The vile smug cow!
"Why are you here?" Hermione interrupted, louder than she had intended. People around them turned to look.
"Excuse me." Janet said in a shocked tone.
"I said, why are you here? How dare you come in here and still put my parents down. The only reason we're in this room is because they're dead!" Hermione's voice had risen and now most of the people in the room were staring awkwardly. She could hear Ginny saying her name from somewhere behind her.
"You're so full of yourself and your perfect bloody children that you don't give a thought for anyone else's feelings! My parents hated you when they were alive so I don't know why you're here now!" That last line hadn't been far from shouting.
Hermione was now breathing heavily and the whole room had been plunged into a shocked silence. Janet was stood there with a look on her face that suggested that nobody had ever spoken to her like that before.
"I need some fresh air." Hermione said into the silence before walking out of the front door. She walked down the garden path and started to make her way down the street, her arms wrapped around herself. She flicked her hair out of her eyes. Ginny had used Sleekeazy's hair potion on it and pulled it back in a bun but it was now falling loose.
"Hermione." She heard Harry's footsteps running up behind her. "Hey wait. Where are you going?"
"I don't know," she said. "I just need to get away from here." She angrily wiped away the tears that had started to fall.
"Ok, well come back in the house and we'll go back to the Burrow." Said Harry.
"No," she cried. "Look, I need to be alone right now. Please!" She begged.
"I don't think you should be on your own." He replied.
"I'll be fine, but I need to do this Harry. I need to be by myself for a bit."
"At least come back to the Burrow. I'm sure Ginny wouldn't mind sharing a room with someone else, you can have her room to yourself."
"Harry please. I know you just want to help but…"
"I do," he interrupted, "We all do. You know, I understand what it's like to lose both your parents, to feel like you don't have a family. But you do, we're your family. Me and the Weasley's."
"I know and I love you all so much. But if you love me too then you'll let me go now."
"Where will you go?" He asked.
"I don't know, the Leaky Cauldron probably. I'll be fine there ok."
Harry sighed before nodding his head.
"Ok." He said. "Just let us know you're alright, yeh"
"Of course," she replied. "Thank you Harry." She pulled him into a hug before wiping away her tears again and walking into an alley to disapparate.
Hermione's feet hit the ground in the Leaky Cauldron. She only had one thought in her mind and that was to forget. She walked over to sit at the bar and waited for Tom the landlord to come over. She looked around the room, it was relatively quiet. A couple of wizards were sat in the corner playing wizard's chess. A group of witches were sat around a table talking. There was also a hooded figure sat in the back of the pub covered by the shadows.
"Hello Miss Granger. What can I get you?" Tom asked.
"Firewhisky please." She replied.
"Is everything alright?" He asked as he poured firewhisky into a glass.
"Everything's fine." She replied in a voice more harsh than necessary. She couldn't even escape the questions here.
The firewhisky burned her throat but she relished in the affect it had on her, taking the edge off everything she was feeling.
She ordered another glass and found herself sinking into oblivion. By the time she knew it she was on her 5th glass and all the emotions of the past week had been suppressed some place she didn't know where. But if a few glasses of firewhisky was enough to send them there she didn't care.
"Didn't think you were the sort to drink firewhisky Granger." A cold voice came from behind her.
She turned to see Draco Malfoy stood there. He had been the hooded figure in the corner, his robe left discarded on the table. She had expected to see a sneer plastered across his face but it wasn't there. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, he looked disheartened, like he'd given up on himself.
"What's it to you if I am?" She replied, annoyed at her disturbance.
"Nothing," he said, the broken look from before now gone and replaced with a scowl. "I was just wandering what you've done to make Scarhead and Weaselbee ditch you? Finally gotten sick of you too have they?"
"Go away Malfoy. I'm really not in the mood right now." She glared at him.
"Touchy tonight aren't we." He said.
"Why are you talking to me? I'm a mudblood remember, scum of the wizarding world. You wouldn't want to catch any germs." She replied coldly.
"Yeh well maybe I'm starting to build immunities." He muttered.
"I meant it when I said go away Malfoy."
"Alright alright. No need to get your knickers in a twist, it's not like someone died."
She turned her head away quickly before he could see the tears building in her eyes. If only he knew how close to the bone that had hit. She didn't turn around to face him again, after a few minutes she assumed he had returned to his table. She discovered she was wrong when he sat down on the bar stool next to her.
"What do you think you're doing?" She asked him incredulously.
"Sitting down, what does it look like? And they say you're the brightest witch of your age."
"Go away!"
"No, I can sit where I want Granger."
Deciding to ignore him she called Tom over to order another firewhisky. She was fiddling through her money bag for the right coins, when a galleon was placed on the bar and pushed towards the landlord.
"I can pay for my own drink. I don't need your charity." She told him.
"A thank you would have been just fine. Hasn't your Mother ever taught you any manners? Maybe I paid because you looked so desperately tragic fumbling through your money bag like that." He said
The reminder of her parents again had sobered her up slightly. It was like he knew. She knew he couldn't have though, these were just his usual taunts. She shoved a few sickles into his hand and downed the firewhisky in one.
"Don't you think you should slow down a bit?" He said
"No I don't."
"So, why are you here anyway?" He asked.
"What is this? 20 questions?" She said.
"Good way to avoid answering." He smirked
"Well why do you get to ask all the questions?" She had no idea why she was talking back. But then she had no idea about anything anymore.
"I don't. Ask away Granger."
She hadn't meant that literally. She had no idea what to ask him. She shrugged.
"I don't know. Why are you here?"
"Oh yeh, I can see you put a lot of thought into that one." The smirk returned to his face once more.
"Well shouldn't you be off with your Slytherin cronies or following your Dad around like his miniature."
His eyes hardened at the mention of his father, but he didn't let her see anymore than that.
"Maybe I'm here for the same reasons you are" He answered.
"I highly doubt that." She said.
"No? Surely you're here to forget. To drown your sorrows and hope the answers to all your problems lie at the bottom of the glass."
She looked at him in shock. He'd just described exactly why she'd decided to come here.
"I'm right aren't I. Looks like we're not a million miles away from each other after all then." He said with no emotion in his voice.
"Maybe you should slow down on the drink too." She said.
He laughed slightly.
"Maybe I should."
Hermione certainly wasn't slowing down. She ordered another glass of firewhisky and drank it down.
"Tom, another firewhisky down here please." She called, her voice was starting to slur now.
"I think you've had enough Granger." Draco said.
"Really? Cos I don't think I have. I'm sure I've had just as much as you."
"True, but I think I can handle my drink a bit better than you can."
She went to get up from her bar stool ready to give him a piece of her mind but stumbled and felt her legs give out from underneath her. Draco caught her around the waist and pulled her to him to keep her up. The contact shocked her, they were now standing closely together. Her chest was pushed up against his. She looked up, realising that her face was alarmingly close to his. She saw his eyes glance down to her lips before an invisible force seemed to pull them towards each other. The next thing she knew their lips had met and they were kissing
What am I doing? Merlin I must be more drunk than I thought. I'm kissing Malfoy and I'm enjoying it.
She ran her tongue along his bottom lip before he opened his mouth to allow her tongue entrance. After a couple of minutes she pulled away.
"Malfoy, what are we doing?"
"I don't know." He replied, before moving in to kiss her again. His arms were still around her waist and she had moved her hands up his chest and around his neck. This time it was Draco who pulled away.
"I've got a room upstairs." He said.
"Maybe we should take this up there then." She replied.
"Thing is though, you're pretty drunk right now. I'm not gonna take advantage."
"Why would you be? You're drunk too. I know what I'm doing. Like you said it's about forgetting right. One night, no strings attached, to forget."
He nodded before leading her up the stairs towards his room. She'd told him she knew what she was doing but if she was honest his kisses were mesmerizing her. That added in with the firewhisky was making her forget exactly who she was and exactly who he was.
Once they were in his room they returned to getting lost in each other's kisses. She could feel how aroused he was against her thigh. It made her feel powerful to know she had that affect on him.
Making a decision about what she wanted to do next she moved her hands to the buttons on his shirt before starting to undo them. She was about halfway down when Draco pulled away.
"Granger." He said breathlessly.
She looked up in confusion before noticing why he had stopped her. There was a huge purple bruise across his abdomen and smaller ones starting to form across his chest as if someone had poked him there. She gasped in shock. Draco turned his head away from her when she stroked her fingers across them. Raising her fingers she touched his cheek and turned his head to face her again before pulling him into another searing kiss.
She returned to the rest of the buttons on his shirt, grabbing the corners of it once it was open and pulling him over to the bed. His hands slid down to the hem of her dress before he pulled it up over her head and leant in to kiss her again. She returned the kiss as she slid his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms letting it fall to the floor. She pulled him down on top of her in a silent agreement to what they were about to do.
Hermione was now lying curled up next to Draco. He had his arm around her and she was resting her head carefully on his chest to avoid the bruises. They lay in silence for a long time, neither sleeping, but indulging in the quiet. Eventually Draco broke through the silence.
"What happened to you Granger?" He wasn't sure why he asked. It wasn't like he really needed to know, but he was curious. It must have been pretty bad for her to do this with him. He wandered if she'd expected him to ask.
"My parents," she said after taking a deep breath. "They were killed in a car crash. Today was their funeral."
The silence returned. Draco wasn't sure what to say, but he wrapped his arm tighter around her when he felt a cold tear fall on to his chest.
"I'm sorry." He said a few moments later. Hermione didn't say anything at first, just carried on in her silent crying.
"What about you? What happened to your chest?" She eventually asked in return.
She heard Draco's breath catch before he slowly let it out. She didn't think he was going to answer, she'd obviously hit a nerve. She jumped when she heard his voice interrupt her thoughts.
"You said I'm my Father's miniature. Perhaps if I did a better job at that I wouldn't be such a disappointment to him." He told her.
"Your father did this?" She asked.
"I'm supposed to join the death eaters as soon as I leave Hogwarts. I told him I wasn't ready. That wasn't what he wanted to hear." His voice was so cold it made her want to shiver. She raised her head up to look at him.
"You're not his miniature Malfoy. That's a good thing."
"Not in his eyes or the eyes of the Dark Lord. I don't see what choice I have anyway. They'll kill me if I don't. I just would've liked a little more time to live my life before I signed away my soul."
She didn't know how to reply. He sounded as though he'd already given up on life. Instead of words she simply squeezed his shoulder that was opposite her head to let him know she was listening.
"You can't tell anyone what I've told you tonight, understand." He said.
"I wouldn't. As long as you don't tell people about my parents. I don't want people to feel sorry for me."
"Deal." He said nodding his head.
That was the end of their conversation and they spoke no more as they both fell into unconsciousness.