Prompt: "Sanji finally gets his photo on a wanted poster. Sadly it is him in his girly Okama island frock looking like he is enjoying himself. Reactions?"

(written 21 November 2009)

Sanji quickly sized up the gathering of Marines as "not an threat". None of them looked really strong; he could take all of them on by himself in seconds without breaking a sweat, if he had to. But the crew was trying to avoid drawing attention on the island -- probably a lost cause with Luffy, but they could try regardless -- and picking a pointless fight with Marines would not help. They were all engrossed in studying the wanted posters, and didn't notice him.

He casually walked nearer, just to see what was so interesting.

"...such a hot girl...."

His ears perked up. Hot girl? He sidled closer to try and peer over the Marines' shoulders. If they saw him he could always pretend....

"...if I capture her, the bounty will be the last thing on my mind, bet she's real easy and willing to do anything to avoid...."

His face darkened. Such lewd comments about a lady, he would not tolerate. He stepped in, raised a leg to strike --

-- and saw the focus of those "lewd comments".

It was a picture of himself -- me! -- in a dress -- don't think about it -- from when he was on that island -- no no not another flashback! -- and it was the new wanted poster for Sanji Blackleg.

"..."

With one sweep of his leg, the Marines were on the ground, groaning in pain. He paid no further attention to them. They meant nothing. They never had meant anything. Only one thing was important.

A man on a mission, he ran to the Marine outpost and barged in the door. He ignored the cries of "What do you think you're doing!" and "Isn't that a wanted pirate?" and "Somebody call the Marines! Oh wait we are the Marines!" He grabbed the nearest person by the collar, and pulled him up into his face.

"Do you have a camera?" Sanji asked in a dead calm.

The other man blanched. "Y-ye-yes, I d--"

"Good." He smiled tightly. "Be ready to take a picture."

He turned to the assembled crowd of Marines, who still hadn't decided what to do with their sudden intruder. "I am Sanji Blackleg," he screamed, "and I am a MAN!"

He dropped his trousers.

The next time he saw people gathered around the wanted posters, and overheard a comment about something being "small"... he turned and quickly walked away. Some things, he was just better off not knowing about.

OMAKE

"Sanji, why aren't you wearing any pants in your wanted picture?"

"Uh...."

"Because I came across Robin and Nami giggling about something and they showed me it but I don't get what's so funny about you not wearing pants."

"Well...."

"And when I saw the poster in town somebody had drawn underpants on it and it made you look like Franky and I didn't know you were such good friends with him that he let you wear his underwear."

"I...."

"Then a girl came by and drew hearts all around your picture. Do you have a heart condition or something? Was she your doctor?"

"You see, um.... I need to turn the oven off right now bye!"

Luffy stared at the rapidly vanishing back of his cook, and scratched his neck. "I didn't know you were cooking something."