Shh. Just Go With It.

Chapter 3: Ashes and Wine

"No matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends." -Carrie, Sex And The City

Caroline wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or depressed when she walked into her apartment at twelve twenty to see all of Matt's things gone. It shouldn't have been such a surprise; she told him to make sure all of his things were gone. She should be happy. This was what she wanted. But still, it felt like a huge slap in the face to see her request met.

Suck it up, Caroline! He dumped you. Get over it.

Yeah, easier said than done. It was one thing having the person you love dump you and you tell them to get all of their crap out of your apartment, but it was another to actually see everything gone. It was like it made it final.

She couldn't believe she and Matt were really over. Dead. Done. Five years down the drain. All the confidence she had gotten from her epiphany of deserving someone who was worthy of her last night was gone, leaving her feeling sad and alone.

And her head still hurt.

She sighed and threw Tyler's shirt on her bed before walking in the direction of the bathroom, her head pounding in sync with each step she took. Bang…bang… bang.

She ignored the fact that Matt's blue toothbrush wasn't in the toothbrush holder beside her pink one. As she slipped off her dress from last night, she overlooked the fact that his old football shirt from Freshman year wasn't hanging over the towel rack like it had been for the last two weeks - something she yelled at him constantly for. And after she turned on the hot water and reached for two towels, she ignored his missing cologne - the kind that she used to secretly spray her clothes with before leaving his apartment before he moved in with her, so she could still smell him, even when he wasn't with her.

She sighed as the hot water hit her cold skin and chased all the goose bumps away. She stood there for a few minutes… or maybe more than a few minutes, just enjoying the water and breathing in the steam before reaching for her shampoo bottle.

She felt a pang in her chest when she didn't see Matt's.

And this time, she couldn't ignore it. This time, she didn't want to. Maybe she needed to grieve. No, he hadn't died, but she'd still lost him all the same. She couldn't pretend like she hadn't. Matt had always been a huge part of her life, whether it was as a friend or so much more. Hooking up with a random guy at a bar like a slut wasn't going to make her feel better. Now that she wasn't drunk, it made her feel cheap and embarrassed. That wasn't her. And it wouldn't happen again.

And with that, she cried.

After her meltdown in the shower, she put on her baggiest sweatpants, largest sweatshirt and thickest socks and plopped down on the couch, ready to watch sad movies and drown in her tears. Who would have thought Caroline would be so pathetic after getting dumped? Certainly not her.

But nonetheless, there she was, sitting on the couch and crying as she tortured herself with P.S. I Love You. She was just to the part where Holly finds out she just slept with Gerry's old band mate when there was a knock on the door. She paused the movie, cursing and praying it wasn't Matt coming back to get anything he forgot. What would he think about her looking like this? So terrible, so pathetic? Maybe she was, but she didn't want anyone to see her like that.

She raised up on her tippy toes, peaking out of the peep hole. If it was Matt- or almost anyone else for that matter- she would simply ignore it and pretend not to be home. And if whoever was at the door saw her car, well, then they should get the message.

Elena and Bonnie were on the otherwise of the door. Elena had a bottle of wine in her hand and a slightly impatient/anxious look on her face, like she really, really needed to tell Caroline something and she just wasn't moving fast enough. Bonnie looked relaxed, happy even.

Caroline didn't think twice about unlocking the lock and opening the door. These two girls were her best friends. If anyone was going to see her like this, it would be them. Caroline had seen Elena cry her eyes out- the only time she'd seen the girl not look amazing- when Damon had made it clear to her he didn't want a relationship and she'd seen Bonnie cry over some douche bag guy she'd dated in their freshman year when she found out the loser had been cheating on her their entire relationship. Back in Oakton, Virginia- Caroline's and Matt's home town- she'd had tons of friends, but none of them even compared to Elena and Bonnie now.

"Oh, my gosh Caroline-" Bonnie began but cut off when she looked at Caroline.

Elena's eyes widened and for a second she looked almost scared, like she was afraid something happened to her. "Caroline what's wrong?" she asked, her voice tight with worry.

Caroline sniffled. "All of Matt's thing are gone."

Giving her sympathetic looks, they came in and pulled her to the couch, sitting on either side of her in a tight sandwich-like position.

"Oh, honey," Elena said, looking between the TV screen and Caroline. "P.S. I Love You? Are you trying to torture yourself?"

Caroline sniffled again. "Maybe."

"We know it sucks," Bonnie said, squeezing her hand comfortingly, "and it hurts, but that isn't going to help."

"Neither is hooking up with some guy at a bar," Caroline snapped.

Bonnie bit her lip, not sure what to say. Elena pursued her lips and then, "How did that go, by the way? We saw you leave but…." She was going for nonchalance, but Caroline knew her well enough to hear the question mark at the end of that sentence.

"Yes, I slept with him," Caroline said, something inside her twisting as she said the words.

"What happened?" Bonnie asked.

"I went back to his house, did the deed and then I woke up and went home," Caroline said. Okay, so maybe she was leaving out a few details.

"That's it?" Elena asked, raising an eyebrow.

Why, oh why, did the brunette have to be so damn observant?

"Well, I woke up and he was gone so I went downstairs and met his douche bag roommate" she explained, her eyes narrowing just at the mention of Jace, "and we argued and then he came back with breakfast. Then I left."

"Who was he?" Bonnie asked. "Does he go to school with us?"

Caroline shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. She'd never seen Tyler around Duke, but it was a pretty big school. "And his name is Tyler."

"So he bought you breakfast?" Bonnie asked.

"And coffee." What did it matter what Tyler bought her?

"At least he was nice," Bonnie said. "He could have been, like, a total jerk."

"That would have been better," Caroline complained. "He was… nice, sweet even. He tried to get me to stay and then when I said I couldn't, he offered to drive me home."

"Wait," Bonnie said, slowly. "Why's that a bad thing?"

"Because, hello," Caroline said, "he was a one night stand, remember? He wasn't suppose to be a nice guy, who bought me breakfast and offered to drive me home."

"I don't get your logic," Bonnie said.

Elena, who had remained quiet throughout all of this, said, "No, I get it. He was suppose to be the kind of guy you could just forget about, not the kind that made you not want to forget about him."

"Exactly," Caroline said. It was more or less what she had been trying to get at.

Bonnie huffed. "Well, was he at least good in bed?"

Caroline blushed. Oh, my god, she thought. After clearing her throat she said, "Yes, he was."

Silence.

And then they all three busted out in laughter. It was the kind of laughing fit that just didn't make any sense, but it didn't stop then or even slow them down. They were laughing so hard tears ran down their faces and breathing was nearly impossible.

Finally, after what could have been minutes or hours, they calmed down and were only giggling instead of laughing like they were on something.

"Oh, god, he was so cocky," Caroline said, shaking her head, as she remembered him.

"How?" Bonnie asked, wiping her mascara streaked face and still giggling slightly.

"Before I left, he gave me his t-shirt and said too keep it as a memory of him."

Bonnie's eyebrows furrowed. "How does that make him cocky?"

"He told me he wanted it back when we saw each other again," Caroline explained.

"Are you planning on seeing him again?" Elena asked her.

Caroline shook her head. "Hell no. If I do, I'll die from embarrassment."

"Maybe it won't be so bad if you do," Bonnie said, shrugging. "From what you said, he seems nice and he was hot."

She'd give him that. He was pretty good looking. Okay, that was an understatement. He was really good looking. In a way, he was almost cuter than Matt. He seemed darker, more rebellious than Matt, who was often called the "Golden Boy" or the "All-American Boy" with his blonde hair, blue eyes and laid back disposition.

Despite all of this, she still didn't want to see him again. "No way," Caroline said. "I don't want to see him again. I want to push last night to the back of my mind and keep it there. Tyler was just a distraction- a one night thing."

"Are you sure he felt that way?" Elena asked, quietly.

Bonnie and Caroline both looked at her curiously, eyebrows raised. Elena had seemed… off the entire time, like something was bothering her.

"I… don't know," Caroline said, not that she had really thought about it. "You okay, Elena?"

Elena sighed. "Damon and I are fighting."

Ah. That always did it.

"Again?" Bonnie asked, exasperated. "How have you two not killed each other yet?"

Elena scowled, not answering.

"What happened?" Caroline asked, glad the attention was no longer on her. Being in the center of things when she was a wreck always made her itch.

Elena sighed again. "I want to meet his family."

"And he doesn't want you to?" Caroline guessed.

"No." Elena scowled again. If she wasn't careful, her face was going to permanently look like that. "I mean, he's met my family, so why can't I meet his?"

Elena's parents lived in Mystic Falls, Virginia and her little brother Jeremy just graduated high school last year. He went to college somewhere in Florida now, if Caroline remembered correctly. They were a very white picket fence family and in all ways, normal. Her dad was a doctor and her mom was a writer. She had the coolest aunt ever, Jenna, whom Caroline met when she came home with Elena for Thanksgiving. Jenna was a little wild, a little boozy and completely hilarious. Last Caroline heard, she was engaged to the cute history teacher she was dating back then. His name was Alfred, or Alan- something old, unattractive and starting with an a. Caroline also met her uncle, who in all intensive purposes was an ass. He spent the whole dinner hinting at the time they had hooked up, trying to make it uncomfortable for Alaric and Jenna. Despite that, Caroline had an amazing time and fell in love with her family. Caroline had a work-a-holic mother and a gay, out of the picture father, so she never was part of big celebrations and family get together's. It had been nice and made Caroline like family a little bit more.

"Maybe he doesn't think you'll like his family," Bonnie said. "Maybe he feels insecure about it, because your family is so amazing and his… isn't."

Caroline didn't know much about Damon's family, but she did know that his mother was dead, his dad was an ass and his little brother slept with his girlfriend. His family seemed a little dysfunctional.

"Please," Elena said, crossing her arms over her chest. "The words 'insecure' and 'Damon' don't go in the same sentence. Maybe 'ass' and 'Damon', or 'stubborn' and 'Damon', or 'cocky' and-"

"Okay, we get it," Caroline said, patting Elena on the arm. "You two will work it out; you always do."

"I don't see how you two are still together," Bonnie said, bluntly. "I swear you two fight more than you don't."

Elena shrugged, looking tired. "I love him, he loves me. That's all that matters."

Bonnie sighed this time. "I need a boyfriend."

"No, you don't," Elena and Caroline said at the same time.

Bonnie didn't say anything; instead she absentmindedly ran her fingers up and down, up and down the wine bottle Elena had handed her earlier.

"What's that for?" Caroline asked, pointing to the bottle.

"It was to celebrate," Elena said, flatly. "You know, you being single and free."

"Oh."

"We could still drink it," Bonnie said, nonchalantly. "It doesn't have to be for a celebration."

They took the hint. Despite Caroline's still present hangover, she took a glass and downed it before pouring another. They sat on the couch, talking and drinking until finally Bonnie said, "I want a Carmel Macchiato. Let's go to Starbucks!"

Starbucks did sound good right about now. "Just let me get dressed," Caroline said. She stood up and glanced at Elena. "Are you okay to drive?"

Elena rolled her eyes- an answer enough.

She sauntered off to her room, feeling a little better- whether it was because of the wine or her best friends, she wasn't sure. She ignored the t-shirt on her bed and went to her closet, changing into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She wiped her face, put on just enough make up to not look terrible and smoothed her blonde hair back into a ponytail.

She walked back out into the living room, where Bonnie was fixing herself up in the mirror and Elena was frowning, probably still thinking about Damon.

"Let's go," Caroline said, grabbing them both and pulling them out the door.

For once, Starbucks wasn't crowded and Bonnie and Caroline set at a table in the corner while Elena ordered their drinks. Bonnie and Caroline weren't buzzed, but were feeling slightly giddy from the wine, so Elena had decided to order for them. They would most likely start giggling and embarrass themselves. Elena really was a saint.

"I want a Damon," Bonnie said, watching Elena as she gave her orders to the gangly, lanky looking boy with braces and bleach blonde hair.

Caroline nearly choked. "You want a Damon?" she asked. "What does that even mean?"

"You see how they look at each other," Bonnie said. "They are totaling, one hundred percent, head over heels in love with each other."

"They fight all the time," Caroline pointed out.

"Yeah, but they always make up," Bonnie said. "Have you seen the way those two look at each other? Even when they fight, they look at each other like they are the best thing that ever happened to one another. I want that."

She was right. Even when they fought, they were still the center of each other's worlds. If it wasn't so damn sweet, it would be sickening and annoying.

"You'll find that one day, Bon," Caroline said, patting the girl on the hand. She wasn't sure if it was a lie or not. She thought she had that kind of love with Matt, but look how that turned out.

Elena walked over to them then, carrying three cups. "Alright," she said, passing the cups out. "One Carmel Macchiato, one Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino and one Iced Coffee with milk for me."

She sat down and they all took sips of their drinks, thinking.

"I think I'm going to swear off of boys," Caroline said after a few minutes of silence. "At least for awhile. I'll just focus on school and myself."

"You, Caroline Forbes," Bonnie said, raising her drink up in the air, "are a smarter girl than I am."

Caroline and Elena both raised their cups in the air. "To the new and improved Caroline Forbes," Caroline said. "Who will not let boys cloud her judgment, steal her heart, only to break it."

They hit their cups against each other's.

"Well, well, well," a horrifyingly familiar voice said. "Look who it is."

Caroline looked up slowly, like in a horror movie where the female protagonist turns around, knowing the killer is right behind her.

Tyler Lockwood, wearing a white t-shirt, jeans and a smug smile, was standing beside their table.

When she looked at him, his smile grew wider. "I told you I'd see you again soon."

Oh, Jesus.

A/N: I wanted Elena to be more like how she was described to be before her parents died- fun, upbeat, cheerful- so I decided to let them live. Not to mention, since Stefan and Damon aren't vampires, technically, Elena would have died in that car crash. Anyways, thank you all for the feedback! Its amazing; you're amazing! I know last chapter was very, very cryptic and I'll warn you, I'm going to continue to be very, very cryptic. I'm sure someone will figure it out though, even though I think I'm being very sneaky.

Review!