Chapter Three – The End of Zen?

Recap – Facing life without a Storyline of their own, Zendall has begun to debate their place in the scheme of things. The debate continues as a new potentially devastating development presents itself.

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"I think we're getting a divorce," Kendall said, slowly putting down her copy of the Script that had been slid under Zach's office door a few minutes before. "You probably shouldn't have threatened to have my brother killed."

Scowling, Zach nodded and put down his copy. "Yeah, looks like we're headed for the Super-Couple Scrap Heap. You probably shouldn't have visited Annie in the hospital."

They were in his office at the Casino. lying on their backs next to each other, on his desk, her head on his chest. Their clothes were carelessly strewn about the room. They had shared an unforgettable afternoon of passion and pleasure. And then the Scripts showed up.

"They can't break us up!" Kendall cried out, sitting up and tossing the Script over her shoulder. "Zen is Destiny!"

Zach got off the desk, put on his clothes and endeavored to see the bright side as he began pacing the length of his office.

"At least it's a Storyline."

Hopping off of the desk, Kendall was less sanguine as she stood right in front of him, slipping on her skimpy halter dress, stopping him from pacing and forcing him to look her in the eye.

"Divorce isn't a Storyline! Divorce is the end of Zendall! Zach, it's curtains! Haven't those idiot writers ever heard of marriage counseling? We've got two kids! Okay, I haven't actually seen Spike and Ian in a few months, but they're still ours! Okay, Spike isn't your bio child, but you love him like he is! You're a Hockey Dad! How can we throw that all away? Zach, are you listening to me?"

He was listening -- which was rare for him in this last year. He hardly ever listened to her anymore. When he did tune in, she was always going on and on about Ryan and Greenlee or Ryan and Annie. Never about them. And now this. According to the Script he had just scanned, Zendall might soon be a thing of the past. He caught his breath. Was that even possible? With their history? With their fan base?

"It isn't for forever, Kendall," he reasoned for them both. "This is Pine Valley. How many times did Tad and Dixie get divorced? Even Adam Chandler and your Mother have started making eyes at each other again, and they've been exes for decades!"

"Zach, what are you saying?" Kendall asked, collapsing into the nearest chair, as frightened as she was confused.

"Kendall, we have nothing to be afraid of! Divorce in Pine Valley never lasts. Even long separations aren't for always. Look at Angie and Jesse. They're back together after twenty years! And Jesse was dead!"

"And buried," Kendall agreed. "Like your Father."

"My Father was cremated," Zach corrected her,

"And still he managed to come back to life and terrorize us!" Kendall said wonderingly. "No wonder we have new Writers!"

Sitting down in the chair next to her, Zach held her slightly shaking hand in his and continued to look on the bright side.

"Anyway our divorce isn't a done deal. We could still work things out."

Kendall hung her head in despair. "No, it's a New Regime. Everything and everyone is getting shaken up. Jack and my Mother are a foregone conclusion. Aidan and Greenlee are on the brink. Annie's already walked out on Ryan." She brightened a trifle. "At least that's some GOOD news!"

Zach darkened a trifle. "A Splitting-Up Storyline might be just what we need," he mused. "All kinds of things might be hashed out."

"Like your semi-violent tendencies?" Kendall asked lightly, shaking off his comforting hand and rubbing her left arm which still throbbed from the last time he dragged her away from a confrontation with Annie.

"Like your Ryan obsession," Zach differed.

"You mean Rylee obsession," Kendall differed.

"I know what I mean," Zach maintained. "Face it, Kendall. You're still in love with Ryan Lavery."

There. He had said it. His assertion hung heavily between them, unanswered for several awkward, endless seconds.

"No, I'm-I'm not," she stammered at last. "I-I couldn't be. I was only a --"

"Detour," he finished. "So I've heard. But if somewhere down deep you don't still have the hots for Mr. Wonderful, why all the intense interest in his love life?"

"Bad writing?" she guessed.

He had no argument to that. And yet.

"Kendall, did you ever walk out on Ryan? You know. Walk out. Leave the bastard. Like Greenlee did. Like Annie did."

She sighed a long sigh. "No, not me. Ryan was always the flatleaver. He picked Greenlee over me. And further back than that, the first time we went together, back when he thought he was Chris Stamp's son, he left town after he found out I was about to boink Aidan."

That got Zach's attention but good.

"You slept with Aidan another time? Before this last time? When you were with Ryan?"

She tried her level best to make him understand.

"When he first came to Pine Valley, Aidan was doing construction on my Mother's penthouse, and I needed him to build me a peep hole so I could get the goods on her."

Zach looked baffled.

"Erica and I didn't exactly get along in those days," she therefore sought to explain.

"But you're so close now!" Zach observed. "Why the change?"

"Different writers, different Kendall."

"This all happened before the Recast?" Zach asked hopefully.

"Nope, it happened to me." She did her best to be clear. "For a long time I was still the same Kendall I was before the Recast. My hatred and resentment for Erica were my motivating forces. Later on I changed. I like to think I evolved. But when I first came back, when I first knew Ryan, I was – what was I?" She gave that some thought. "I was a freakin' emotional mess!"

They shared a sudden laugh and she silently reflected on how good it was to share something with him beside sex. Not that sex with Zach wasn't amazing. But lately sex was the only thing they shared. And it wasn't always that way. Was it?

"I know," she said when the laughter ended with them both smiling in each other's arms. "I'm still a freakin' emotional mess."

"That's part of your charm." He tried to keep smiling as the next thought hit him. But he couldn't do it. "Tell me about you and Aidan. Back then."

"Oh," she said, pushing out of his embrace as she avoided his eyes. "Back then. Well, Aidan wouldn't help me unless I helped him. So I was in the process of doing that. Unfortunately, Ryan walked in on us."

"That must of killed the mood," Zach said dryly.

Kendall sighed.

"That killed Rendall."

Zach guessed the rest.

"Ryan left town?"

Kendall nodded, her eyes clouding with the memory.

"Flatleaver."

Zach nearly gasped. He saw it all for the first time. Now all he had to do was to make Kendall see it.

"That's why you can't let go! You were never the one who left Ryan. It was always Ryan who left you. It's never been over for you, Kendall!"

But Kendall refused to accept that. It wasn't true, she thought. It couldn't be true.

"I let go of Ryan! I fell in love with you, Zach. Well, first I fell in love with your son, Ethan. After all, this is a Soap. But then I fell in love with YOU! And I've stayed in love with you! Always only you!"

Gently, he put his arms on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. Forcing her to look at the truth.

"Okay, have it your way. You're not in love with Ryan Lavery. But you're tied to him all the same. That's why you're nearly killing yourself trying to orchestrate his life. Ryan has pushed you away too many times to count, but you keep bouncing back to him, telling him who to love and who not to love."

"Zach, that's not fair!" Kendall cried. "All I want is for Ryan to be happy! I'm his friend! I'm the mother of his child!"

"And who arranged that? And why? Spike was supposed to be Greenlee's baby. When Madden couldn't use her egg, you decided to use your own. WHY?"

"I don't know. Am I supposed to know? What difference does it make?"

"Plenty. After Dynamite Kiddo chose the Green Butterfly, the only way you could be part of his life was to be part of Rylee. Annie would never let you into their lives the way that Greenlee does because Annie doesn't have the history with you that Greenlee has. Both of you fought over Ryan and both of you mourned his make-believe death. At one point, both of you were having his baby! In the middle of all that, somehow you found time to start a major cosmetics company together."

She glared at him, anger replacing hurt. "OMIGOD, you're making this up as you go along! I thought you were a man of few words! For months and months you hardly speak to me and now this? Where do you get this stuff? You should be writing fanfiction! Forget Pratt, YOU should be Headwriter!"

But Zach couldn't stop himself now that he had begun. Even if not stopping meant hurting her and destroying them. He had no choice. He had to go on. If there was any hope for them, she had to understand the truth of her own heart.

"That's why you got pregnant with Spike and that's why you insist on breaking up Ryannie! You have an absolute need to be part of Ryan's life! Any way that you can!"

Zach's analysis stung Kendall to the core.

"It isn't true! It isn't true! I love YOU, Zach! Always only you! When you were on trial for Madden's murder, I could have gone back to Ryan! Greenlee was gone then and the field was clear. He wanted me then! But I didn't want him. I chose you."

And for the first time Zach knew why.

"You chose me because you knew that I would never play second fiddle to Lavery. If you'd married him, I wouldn't be hanging around waiting for crumbs. I would have been out of your life, Kendall. And you wanted both of us. You still want both of us. The only way you can have that is to be married to me and have Ryan married to Greenlee."

Kendall replied to all of that with a mute look of horror. Zach took a step back, seeing the effect his logic was having on his wife.

"Kendall, I'm sorry. That's a lot to throw at you -- a lot for you to take in. I got carried away because all of this time I didn't understand."

Kendall sniffed. "You don't understand me. You don't understand us. No wonder we're getting a divorce."

She was exhausted. At her rope's end. Hopeless. The death of Zendall was at hand. The Powers That Be wanted them to break up and Zach obviously believed that hooey he had just spouted about her and Ryan. What could she say to convince him nobody mattered to her but him? Not realizing why, she eyed the desk. The desk. Well, that always worked.

"Ya think we can be Divorced with Benefits?"

"I can't imagine why not," he said without hesitation, lifting her back onto the desk and climbing on top of her.

"Just don't leave me," she whispered, embracing him. "Even if they make us break up. Promise me we'll muddle through together somehow. Even if we're not together. You know what I mean."

"I promise," he promised, his voice husky with pain and desire. He realized that nothing he had said about her Ryan obsession had gotten through to her. But he realized something more. "God help me, I love you, Kendall. Always only you!"

"Us!" she cried out, holding him tighter than tight. With that one word, Kendall became as magnificently defiant and completely delusional as ever a Kane Woman was, as she dared Destiny and/or the Writers with all of her being. "Always only us!"

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Can Zendall face down all that's about to befall them? Will a Storyline of their own mean heartbreak for them and heartburn for us? Come back for our next exciting Chapter as we find out together what the future holds (and what Pratt is plotting) for our Zen!