Disclaimer: Cartoon Network and Hasbro owns Transformers Animated. I own the story. Any all additional recognizable songs, culture references, et cetera, belong to their rightful owners.

Chapter 3: Insulted Honor

Susan went to check on Marie and Blitzwing and found the little girl dancing with Random Blitzwing in her pink-based room, often throwing stuffed animals down from their shelves on the wall for the fun of it. One rag doll rabbit smacked her in the face as she entered the room.

The song playing was Peanut Butter Jelly Time by the Buckwheat Boys, and one knows once they've listened to it how that annoying song is, but how it's ever oh so catchy to dance to.

"Then you shake your hips, shake your hips, like this," Blitzwing was saying, demonstrating his words. "Good! Good! Then we twirl like a ballerina on one foot; ta daa! Good girl! I like you; you catch on like a monkey trying to get to the fruit paste on my face."

"Say what?" Susan asked, stopping her stupid dancing for a moment to look at Blitzwing.

That was when Peanut Butter Jelly Time ended and You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift turned on.

The girls cheered in approval and began to sing along to it, although whether or not they were in tune or not is open for discussion. Blitzwing stopped short of his dancing, his face twisting up in confusion as the girls danced around, singing the song. Shrugging, he joined the dancing too, singing something in German that matched the tune of the song. He had quite a lovely deep singing voice that most defiantly did not match his current personality; maybe Hot Head, or Cold, if he was really emotional, but coming from Random, it was just weird. But, according to Marie, he "sang like the kindest angel of heaven whilst enwrapping you with in his large, muscular arms and his magnificent wings enwrapped both of you to protect from prying eyes with their feathery wall of protection while his lips slowly approach yours".

Susan realized that Marie was screwed up.

Susan broke away from the song when she heard a thump from the bathroom.

"I'll be back," she said before departing.

"Oh, Blitzwing, you're such a good singer!" Mari cooed.

Susan ducked back in briefly to scold, "Mind your own species, Mari," then she really departed.

Outside the bathroom door, she knocked and called, "Shockwave? Are you okay in there?"

"Need hotter water," was the short reply, then no more.

When Shockwave came out of the shower an hour later, Random Blitzwing was teaching the girls to do the Cha, Cha.

"And then," Blitzwing was saying, dropping to one knee and spreading his arms out. "You jump into the arms of your male partner and say 'ta daa!!"

"Ta daa!" Mari and Susan declared. Each jumped into his arms and wrapped one arm around Blitzwing's neck each while spreading the other up in show.

Shockwave blinked once in almost expressionless surprise (key word: Almost. Even the one-optic robot couldn't keep the emotions out sometimes, like that stalker next door…). Then he pointed at Blitzwing with one claw dramatically while the other held up a mint green towel around his waist.

"Pedophile," was all he said.

Blitzwing's face changed to that of Hot Head, who dropped his arms and jaw as he stared at Shockwave. Shockwave ignored him as he walked down the stairs out of sight. Hot Head Blitzwing pushed the girls away and charged down the stairs after the Decepticon to find him in the kitchen, setting up the coffee pot. The walls were light blue, the counters were sky blue, and the hard, shiny, polish counter top was dark blue. There was an island counter in the center of the kitchen.

"I am not a pedophile!" Hot Head Blitzwing roared.

"That's not what I saw back there," Shockwave replied. He looked over at Susan and Mari as they came down the stairs. "Where do you keep your oil? I would like to have some now."

"I'll get it!" Mari said eagerly, streaking out of the room.

"Take it back! I was teaching the girls how to dance like good girls!" Blitzwing yelled at Shockwave. He slammed his fists on the dark blue counter top, cracking it severely, to punctuate his defense.

"Woha! Woha! Woha!" Susan exclaimed as Mari zipped back into the room and handed Shockwave a bottle of oil. "Take it out on Shockwave, not the house!"

"I will take 'it' out on what ever I want, including you, and including this house!" Blitzwing roared into Susan's face. Some of her hair moved back in the wind of his roar.

Shockwave realized that the coffee maker would not warm up his oil. He took the coffee mug Mari had taken down for him when she saw him using the coffee maker and poured some oil into the mug. He put the mug in the microwave to warm up and turned back to Blitzwing, crossing his arms and ankles easily.

"Oh no, you won't!" Susan snarled in response to Hot Head's declaration.

"Why ever not; what's going to stop me?" Hot Head Blitzwing growled, towering over the girl. His shoulder cannons started emitting small balls of flame.

"Because I'm not going to explain to my dad how the house got burned to the ground by a fictional inner dimension jumping, schizophrenic, bad guy, triple changing, ice-shooting, fire-blasting, red-eyed, German-decent, Nazi-born, foul-tempered transforming alien robot while he was throwing a tantrum!" Susan snarled.

"Yeah: The insurance company would never buy it," Mari commented.

The microwave made a beep noise and Shockwave opened the door, taking out his mug of hot oil and sipping it… in spite of a lack of a mouth.

"You know, Blitzwing," Shockwave commented. "It is sad that you must resort to arguing with little girls to establish your manliness."

"Manliness?" Blitzwing asked, walking around the island. "Look who's talking about manliness when he's covering up like he has any!"

In one swift motion, Hot Head Blitzwing yanked the towel off from around Shockwave's waist. Susan wanted to yell at them for indecent exposure in front of Mari, a minor, but managed to stave off a blush when she saw and remembered that Shockwave had nothing of shame to show the little girl below the waist. The way Mari's eyes brightened up in approval and anticipation, though… Susan would have to talk to her about that.

"It was to soak up any water coming off of me," Shockwave informed Blitzwing, even as he sipped his mug of oil (how did he do that??).

"Right," Hot Head Blitzwing sneered, throwing the towel down on the counter. "And I'm Mr. America."

"Who would let that ugly face into a beauty patent?" Susan laughed.

"Hey! Don't tease Blitzwing like that!" Mari scolded. "Blitzwing is smart and hansom!"

"As smart and hansom as a pug-faced mop of a lap dog," Susan snorted. "Shockwave doesn't have a face and he's prettier than Blitzwing! And on top of that, Shockwave's ranked way higher than Blitzwing in the brains department."

"Shockwave's a pompous butt head!" Mari snarled.

"Blitzwing's a schizophrenic idiot!" Susan replied.

Shockwave and Blitzwing exchanged glances, realizing that the girls were fighting for one or the other of the Decepticons' honor. They both smiled slyly at each other (at least Hot Head did; Shockwave's optic looked like he was smiling), and Hot Head changed to Random as they both looked back at the girls, their argument only increasing in heat.

"Shockwave's so dumb that he didn't think to assassinate some mechs while he was among the Autobots!" Mari declared.

"Perhaps he hadn't been ordered to assassinate some Autobots as he was on a strictly informative stance only?" Susan hissed.

"Yeah, and he's so stupid he can only follow orders that are given to him on a huge white paper with giant black letters! At least Blitzwing saw an opportunity when it came to him."

"Blitzwing couldn't follow a mission through if it were to save his own aft."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah"

"Fight!" the Decepticons both yelled.

Right on cue, the girls tackled each other and fell into a wrestling mass of limbs. Both Decepticons jumped onto the counters to give them floor room and cheered them on as they rolled around and around.

"Ooh! I think the little one is biting the bigger one!" Random Blitzwing exclaimed. "Nibble, little one, nibble like a rabid Japanese hamster!"

"You're bigger than her!" Shockwave yelled at Susan. "Just kick her head around like a soccer ball! Like a soccer ball, I said, not a football!"

"Go for the throat! Go for the throat! Right! Right there!"

"Punch her head with your left fist; there's a rather sharp shard of counter top you can stab her with near your right hand!"

But both the girls fell apart, panting heavily, and the Decepticons whined.

"Oh, blast it!" Shockwave whimpered, raising a hand and dropping it hopelessly.

"Aw, why'd you stop?" Blitzwing whined. "You were just getting to the blood shed!"

"As much as I would like to, I can't kill her because then my dad would murder me," Susan panted, looking up at the Decepticons.

"I'll murder you if you don't do it," Shockwave said, as if that were going to help.

It didn't.

"Come on, Mari," Susan said, completely dissing Shockwave's authority and standing up, holding a hand out to the little girl. "Let's go back to watching TV."

"Yay! TV!" Mari exclaimed happily, taking the hand up and bouncing over to the living room.

They left the Decepticons behind to sit on the counters, looking fairly put out. Blitzwing sighed and shook his head, watching them go. He looked over at Shockwave as he sipped at his mug of oil.

"Hey, can I have some?" he asked, holding a hand out.

"Get your own… pedophile," Shockwave replied.

Susan jumped and flinched when she heard the crash of metal on linoleum as one of the Decepticons hit the floor, then an idea popped into her head.

"Hey, Blitzwing!" she yelled into the kitchen. "Wanna go see some Transformers toys?"

Hot Head Blitzwing looked at her from where he was standing in the kitchen, holding Shockwave (with his mug of oil) over his head as if he were about to throw the spy down on the ground in a sort of body bomb slam. After a moment, he shrugged and dropped Shockwave, who landed hard on the floor in a very awkward position in a succeeded effort to keep one drop of oil from spilling.

"Okay," Hot Head said, shrugging.