Disclaimer : I do not own Star Trek nor make any money from this.

Warnings: Slash, BoyxBoy

AN1: Okay finally i have this finished! Considering this was the first Star Trek story i did i'm kind of dissapointed that it has taken this long to finish! But it finally is so i hope people like it. I have had such writers block lately and have not been able to write anything at all. I had half of this done agggees ago and only just managed to force myself into writing the last bit, which hopfully doesnt suck lol. I'm praying this will help me get back into writing now.

AN2: Un'Beta'd so all mistakes are mine, hopefully there aren't too many

It was difficult to say who moved first but neither of them would really ever care to know. The only thing that mattered was that they did, mouths meeting in a clash of teeth and hunger, lips pressed forcefully together like any hesitance would mean the other disappeared. Jims hands loosened from Spocks shirt, only to find themselves twining round the back of his neck, pushing his body as close to the man as he could get, never close enough though. The heat he could feel radiating from the mans skin was intoxicating till the point he was simply craving more.

Spock moaned, very un-Vulcan like into the mouth against his, his mind swimming over a hundred logical reasons why he should be backing off, least of all that this man was his senior officer. His mind seemed to break off from his body as he found himself moving, pushing Jim until he was pressed against the nearest wall, Spock's whole body pressing flush against him.

Jim gasped as Spock's mouth attached to his neck, hands all but clawing at the edge of his shirt to get underneath. Jim was reminded briefly of the power and strength the Vulcan had when strangling him but he did not feel fear here. The same hands that had choked precious air from him were drawing sensations from him that he had never felt before. It was all too much and not enough at the same time.

"I'm sorry." Jim gasped, the words punctuated by a moan of appreciation. "I'm so sorry, what I said, I'm sorry." He said in a low mantra, the words mixing with sounds of pleasure as Spocks hands glided against his chest, warmth spreading over his skin. For the most part it looked like Spock had not heard him save for the minute tightening of his hands, the slight increase in fever of his kisses. Jims mind was swamped with need and want but somehow through the haze he knew that he needed to get Spock to hear him, that he couldn't do this, shouldn't do this without making the man understand.

A breathy moan escaped Spocks lip as he pushed himself even closer, hips square against Jims. Jims legs moved without his consent, wrapping themselves tightly around Spocks waist, drawing him in, his head banging back against the wall as sparks of pleasure darted through his body.

"Spock." He gasped, biting his bottom lip as he tried to get his shaking hands to work. Gently pulling Spock's face round he held it between his hands, thumbs caressing the skin as he forced the Vulcan to look at him. The air between them continued to crackle like fire, the urge to just touch, taste, feel strong.

"Spock," Jim repeated more softly. "I'm sorry."

Spock shuddered. All through his body and skin, a wave of cold unnatural in his warm body. His eyes darkened and for the first time since he had entered the room Jim felt a spike of fear. There was something primitive about it, something dangerous, he vaguely knew in the back of his head that he wasn't facing his logical first officer right now.

"What you did," Spock growled, hands digging almost painfully into Jims arms as he held him against the wall, "was inexcusable."

"I know." Jim whispered.

"She was my mother and I loved her." Spocks face was mere inches from Jims, eyes hard and both impossible to look and impossible to turn away from. "I loved her." He said darkly, breath ghosting over Jims face as he spoke.

"I know." Jim whispered, voice breaking slightly on the words. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He whispered over and over, resting his forehead against Spocks, eye closed against the accusation of what he had done. Spocks skin tingled, the wave of emotions rushing off of the man consuming, the guilt, the sorrow. He could taste the self hating, smell the regret, feel every prickle of emotion that ran through the man wrapped around him. It was only when he felt the stab of pain, the ripple of something shattered inside the man that he knew just how sorry he was, just how much this was eating him up inside.

"Please forgive me."

"I do."

Jim cried in pleasure as Spock twisted his hips over and over, pushing themselves together in an almost torturous rhythm.

"God, Spock, bed." Jim begged, fingers itching were they clung for any sort of support he could find. It was testament to Spocks Vulcan strength that when he pulled away from the wall Jim came with him easily, legs still encircled around the mans waist as he was deposited on the bed.

Hands moved deftly as clothes were shed, pants all but torn as they were pulled from each others bodies. The predatory gaze in Spocks eyes was enough to make Jim shiver with anticipation.

"See something you like?" He teased, tongue tasting any skin he could reach as Spock ground down on him from above, teeth marking his neck.

"It would be logical if you were to use your mouth for other things than speech." Spock said monotone, only a trace of a tremor in it. Jim gaped and laughed, shocked that Spock could come out with a statement like that. He hummed, using the little strength he had to flip the man under him (who he suspected could of stopped him if he wanted), trailing kisses down the length of Spocks body with a wicked grin.

It still hung in the air, the words both spoken and left unspoken but this, this was something than deeper. A need that neither knew until that moment that needed to be filled. Spocks body hummed as Jims mouth moved over him, tongue trailing his inner thighs and hips, the touch soft and teasing. Spock growled in the back of his throat, the sound turning into a startled gasp as the heat of Jims mouth engulfing him took over all other thought.

Jim mentally grinned, loving the feeling of knowing that he was drawing those sounds from his First Officer. With a last kiss to the top he pulled back, eyes glinting with the smallest amount of uncertainty as he crawled back up Spocks body, kissing first the edge of his jaw and then his mouth. Spock sighed, a sound so alien to his lips at the ministrations, body already tingling with want. He could feel every shudder as they passed through Jim and every fleeing bit of emotion where their skin touched. Almost by instinct his hand reached for Jims, bringing their fingers together awkwardly until Jim seemed to realised what he was doing. His smiling was blindly, like a supernova but impossible to look away from. Spock couldn't help it as the corner of his mouth turned up, a real human smile gracing his face.

Jim laughed, the sound sweet. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile before." He commented with slight awe before dipping his mouth to run his tongue gently over Spocks fingers, relishing in the hitched moan Spock let off. Spock growled, tired of being dominated and used his weight to easily flip their positions. There were a million and one things he could reply, a thousand comments he could himself make about the man but they were left unsaid as he plundered Jims mouth instead, fingers dropping to run teasingly around Jims entrance.

Jim shuddered, arms flailing a little as he almost desperately clawed at the draw by his bed, all but throwing the bottle of lube at Spock. He whined as the touch left before keening as not one but two slicked fingers pressed back into him, stretching him open. Pleasure shot through his spine as Spock teased the spot inside him over and over, whimpering breaking through his lips as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Please." He begged once, trembling with the need to feel Spock inside him, feel him close to him. A feral growl rippled through the room, Spocks mouth biting at Jims shoulder as he positioned himself ready, waiting as he laved at the skin, wanting to draw as many of those inpatient sounds from Jim as he could. Jims hands were soft as he settled them on Spocks back, the touch so sure, so intimate that Spocks eyes darted up to the man, taken back by the look in Jims eyes.

So full of trust, it felt like healing, like something stitching back together inside of his chest. With one sure but gentle push he was seated inside Jim. They moaned in unison, the sudden feeling of being filled and surrounded nearly too much for both of them. The heat was stifling as they moved, pushing together with every thrust, fingernails digging into skin as they clung together. It didn't take long until they could feel the pleasure in them growing, the heat of impending orgasm forcing them faster, but neither cared. Jims head strained back as white filled his vision, whole body clenching and relaxing as his nerves were set on fire. Spock followed not one thrust later, face filled with ecstasy as Jims name gasped from his lips.

It could have been minutes or it could have been hours before they came back down, their limbs entangled as if this was the hundredth not the first time they had done this. With Jims head cradled on Spocks chest, their legs twisted around each other as Spock traced idle patterns up Jims arm, it felt like a beginning. It was still there, everything that had happened between them, the wounds still not completely healed, the memory of everything still there. Jim pressed himself tighter to Spock and Spock could feel the contentment from the man laced with the less insistent but still constant need to feel he was forgiven.

Spock knew since the first instant their mouths head come together that he had forgiven the man, but forgiving wasn't the same as forgetting. It would take time, that much was for certain but it was something that neither man was worried about. At least not now, tangled together, sated and safe in their embrace, the line that much further in the distance.

Review pretty please? Let me know if i let this down with the last chap lol