His hand slid down my back and he pulled me closer. As I tried to burry my head into his chest he gently used his hand to lift my head towards him. His kiss is soft, but it feels so hard. He hasn't changed anything, but everything feels different. His lips used to feel like a gentle massage. Right now, it could be his teeth biting my lip for all I know. I use my hand to hold his face and I try to take control, something I'm normally great at. I slow him down. Im kissing as soft as I can. Thats what I need right now.

Sweet kisses.

But after a few short kisses, the hard ones are back. I keep stopping and trying to cuddle, but he doesn't get it. He keeps pulling me up to kiss him. He may look weak, but boys are always so much stronger. He could hold me down against my will for hours if he wanted to. After I pull away from three kisses in a row, he stops me.

"What's wrong?"

What am I supposed to do? Tell my boyfriend I don't want to kiss him?

"Sorry," I pause while I think of something to say. "I'm just tired I guess."

"I just missed your kisses this week," he says.

He really is so sweet. I lean up to kiss him. It's not that bad. Kind of nice.

As we have a few tender kisses, I feel his heart pounding hard through his chest. He really does like me.

I don't know why but I've never really believed a guy likes me. Maybe I've believed it, but I don't feel it. Trust issues I guess. Thanks for that one, Dad...

His pounding heart only makes me feel worse. How can his heart be pounding so hard and mine hasn't changed its pulse once?

This turns me off right now, but I can't stop. I can't let him feel pain. Suddenly, his hand slips down my leg. No matter who it is, that turns me on. He's about to slip his hand down my pants. Part of me wants him to, like he has so many other times. But part of me doesn't want to be turned on. Not by him, not right now.

"You don't wanna do that, it's...my time..." I lie.

He makes a face as if to say ew as he always does when I bring that kind of stuff up. "Thanks for the heads up," he says.

He reaches over and checks his phone. 7:39 pm.

"We better get ready to head over to Puck's," he states.

I nod and stand up off his bed. I adjust my shirt and hair and walk over and wheel his chair closer so he can slide in.

We walk/wheel silently to his car. It's almost as if he can tell somethings off, but I know he can't.

As soon as the music comes on, my mood shifts. He starts serenading me and I can't stop giggling. This is my man. Too cute. Here I go again, confusing myself! Whatever, we are going to Puck's, I can drink a little and calm down. Much needed.

When we arrive, mostly everyone is there already. Quinn greats me at the door and immediately asks for Santana. I forgot she was coming!

"She's gonna call me when she gets here," I tell her.

Puck walks up and hands Artie and me each a beer. Some Cheerios are on Puck's couch with Karofsky and some other football players. Two asians I can't remember's names are making out in the kitchen. As I'm looking at Sugar Motta dance with Matt, a hockey player, my phone vibrates in between my black skirt's waistband and my hip.

Santana Lopez

"Hey," I exclaim. "I'll be right out!"

I excuse myself from Artie and walk out the front door.

Devil in a red dress. She's wearing the cutest, tight red dress. It hugs her perfectly and her legs look toned in her black high heels.

"You look HOT!" I scream.

She giggles.

"Already drunk?" She asks.

I guffaw. "No," I shake my head. "This is my first beer. This is just social Brit," I tell her.

I hug her when she's in reach and she isn't as surprised as the previous hugs, but she's still thrown off a little.

"Oh," she laughs. "I think I like social Brit."

"Come on," I say as I grab her two fingers with mine and pull her behind me and don't let go until we are in the middle of his house with everyone else.

"Who do we have here?" Puck's voice comes in.

"This is Santana," I say. I sound so proud. I love when guys think my friends are hot. It's like, yes I am hot enough to be friends with her. "She's new."

"Noah Puckerman, but call me Puck," he says as smoothly as he can.

She smiles.

"Let me get you a drink," and with that he disappears.

"He likes you," I tell her.

"He's cute," she smiles. "Tool?" she asks.

I nod. "Yeah, but he's a nice guy at heart. Good for a hook up," I say.

He comes back with three shot glasses and a bottle of vodka.

He fills them and says, "To the new girl!" and we all take a shot.

10 minutes later I'm 4 shots deep and I've lost Artie.

All of a sudden, my favorite song starts playing. I start singing along.

As the next line comes up, I grab Santana's hand and pull her to the center of some room thats been cleared out and is being used for a dance floor.

"Grab somebody sexy tell them 'hey!'"

I intertwine our hands and were facing each other.

"Give me everything tonight."

She spins me around so I'm grinding on her. I bend over and get as low as possible. I hear her yelp a little and I turn around, thinking she doesn't like it or something. Puck has come up behind her so she is grinding on him too. I check her face to make sure she's okay with it. Why wouldn't she be? She's 4 or 5 shots in and is dancing with me. Why not him?

I turn back to face them and the three of us dance together. Then my favorite part of the night happened.

She sang. "Give me everything tonight."

The room was so loud, but her mouth was only inches from my ear. Her voice was the most unique, amazing sound I'd ever heard. It has this nice raspy quality I love. I wanted her to sing all the time. Always. I wanted to trap her in my room and make her sing for me on command.

After the songs over, I leave and let Puck and Santana have a song alone. I find Artie and plop myself on his chair. Now that I've had a little to drink, kissing him is more fun. We kiss a little until Quinn pulls me off to dance.

Some people may think its weird that I've danced with two girls and barely one guy. What can I say? I always do this. I'd say it was the alcohol, and I'm sure part of it is, but I think it's just my security. I don't care if i'm having fun. And dancing is fun for me. No matter who it's with. People can think what they want of me, it doesn't bother me too much.

As we are dancing, I realize Puck and Santana are gone.

Probably drinking or hooking up or something.

Quinn and I dance for about three songs, the same way Santana and I had, then we both get thirsty.

I walk in the kitchen and Santana is propped up on the counter and kissing Puck who is in between her legs. Her fingers are stroking through his mohawk and his are searching down her back. Not gonna lie, it's hot.

"Damnnnnnnn" Quinn says in her best ghetto voice.

They turn around and Santana, who I expected to blush, just giggles.

By the look in her eyes, she's had some more to drink.

The kitchen door swings open and in wheels Artie. He's holding an empty bottle and is followed by Blaine, Rachel, Kurt, Finn, Matt, the two asians, and Sam.

"Spinn the bottle," he says, slurring his words.

Quinn screams in excitement and we form a circle in a connected room with on a carpet.

I take one more shot before I sit down to loosen up some more.

"Me first!" Quinn demands. The bottle lands on Sam. He can't hide his smile.

They lean in and kiss for about 5 seconds. Their hair blends together at some point I can't even tell who is who. Maybe its the alcohol.

"Boo!" Kurt says. "So short! Chickens!"

Sam spins and it lands on me. I look at Artie and he's smiling, cheering me on just like everyone else. Ok then. He leans across the circle and pulls my neck towards him with his big hands. His huge lips are soft and strong at the same time, and it's fun. I hear Rachel screaming "woooo!" in the background.

"Damn, boys got some guppy lips," Santana says. Everyone bursts out laughing, even Sam.

My turn to spin. I spin it close my eyes and giggle.

"Oh yeah!" Puck screams and I think I hear Finn make a cheering sound.

I open my eyes and locate the bottle.

Santana.

I've kissed girls before when I was drunk in situations similar to this, and something tells me she has too, but because she seems a lot drunker than I am, I don't want to do it if she isn't okay with it. What if tomorrow when she's sober she's embarrassed? I don't want to lose her as a friend. We have been getting along so well.

Before I have time to finish any of my thoughts, Santana's an inch away from my face.

She presses her lips into mine and I'm taken aback by how soft her lips are. Softer than Sam's and Artie's. She's gentle. She kisses me for about five seconds, maybe a little longer, but that seems to be enough for the guys who are all high-fiving and screaming. I barely reacted to her kiss. She was completely in control. I didn't have time to react. Suddenly, I'm self conscious that I wasn't a good kisser. I've never felt self conscious after kissing someone. Not even after my first kiss, which was pretty awkward.

In 7th grade, an 8th grader Harry asked me to dance at our school dance in the cafeteria. While we were dancing, he said, "meet me outside by the track?" Because of my small crush, I showed up.

After some awkward conversation, he cut me off mid sentence and tried to kiss me. He had kissed a few people before me so he was prepared. My lips missed his a little, but I caught the left side of his lips. He tried to shove his tongue in my mouth, but I rejected it and finished the kiss by pulling away. He was smiling but I knew I should feel embarrassed. It hadn't been perfect. But I wasn't. I didn't care that much. It was a good memory and he was a nice boy.

I am brought back to reality as Santana pulls away. She's clapping and smiling and I remember how drunk she is. No reason to be self conscious here.

I watch her kiss Blaine next. After seeing how hot they look, I can't imagine how hot we looked.

As Blaine lands on the asian girl, Santana excuses herself to the bathroom.

After about 10 minutes and many rounds of spin the bottle, she's still not back.

I quietly excuse myself, kiss Artie on the cheek and look for the bathroom.

It's almost 1:30 AM. I'm about sobered up, waiting for the last shot I took to wear off.

As I locate the bathroom, I hear what sounds like vomiting.

I knock and after no one answers I open the door.

Santana looks disheveled and is hunched over the toilet. Clearly sick.

"Santana?" I ask, even though I'm sure its her.

"Hmm," she moans.

I sit down next to her and pull her hair out of her face. She starts to throw up again. Suddenly, I'm extra glad I am not super grossed out by bodily fluids. I gently rub my hand up and down her back. I always liked when my mom did it when I was sick, or when Quinn had done it for me when I threw up at my second party ever.

After two more vomiting spells, I am pretty sure I see a tear on her cheek. At first I think its just from burning from throwing up, but then it seems deeper than that.

"Santana?" She doesn't answer. "What's wrong?"

I continue stroking her back.

She wipes her tear away and looks back down.

I don't want to push her, but I'm so curious.

"You okay?" I say.

"I prumise, I dunt normally get dis drunk" I can barely make out her words. I am catching every other word at least though so I'm able to get the big picture.

"It's fine, Santana. It happens to everyone," I say. I'm not fully convinced this is why she's upset though.

"I lookso bad, to eryone out der."

"Everyone out there is drunk, too," I tell her. "Plus, I didn't even realize you were this drunk. You looked perfectly okay."

"Plus, I am gonnago home and my momma issgonna be so mad. I won't be able to go out for ever again."

"Come to my house," I tell her. "My mom will be asleep. And we can text your mom and tell her you are staying with a friend. It'll be okay. Just don't cry."

Crying has always made me upset. I think it's because I cry when other people cry, first for them, but then it turns to me. Then I can't stop crying. I hate when people see me cry. I feel weak, embarrassed.

But her tears are making me sad for her and her only. Maybe it's because I knew deep down, there is another reason for her crying. Maybe even a reason she drank more than usual tonight. But I didn't need to know. I just wanted to be there for her. She was alone in a new town, a new school, with her mom. Away from her friends and her Dad. Details of which I still wasn't sure, but I knew whatever had happened had hurt her and is still hurting her. I'd wait as long as I needed to find out. I didn't even need to find out ever. I just wanted to help her. Some way. And I knew taking her to my house would help somehow.

"Please," I urge when she doesn't answer.

She nods. "Mhmm, okay."

"Good," I say. I wait a few more minutes to make sure she doesn't throw up again and I help her up.

"Brit?" she say.

"Mhm?"

"Thanks. You don't have to do all this for me. But you do. I really appreciate it," she says and its the clearest thing she's said yet.

Then she hugs me.

I know she's drunk, but it means a lot to me. She said she wasn't a huggy person, so I know this is special. She really does appreciate me.

What do you guys think?

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