When I arrived in this world I had a plan, a simple one: do not establish sentimental relationships with the people here, find Clancy, and return us home as soon as possible. My time here has eradicated the three main components of that plan, it is for that reason I cannot come to a decision that will probably improve my situation. Damn it. "One pistachio scoop on a cone please," I say to the dark girl with shiny, luscious curls at the ice cream stand.
"Cone right?" she asks, rushing to get it. She seems nervous, probably her first day working. I was not nervous when I worked for Erick the first time, I was pumped and very eager. Working for him has always felt natural to me.
"Yes."
If I was more like my father then I would not have this vain feeling residing in my chest. He was heartless for most of his life, I do not think he had ever given me a hug before or kiss me like other fathers would. Now that I think about it, the only affection I got from that man was when he told me to pick out the ripest breadfruit from a tree outside the Village of Willow. I don't care how long it takes, I need something sweet, he grumbled.
"Three dollars."
"Here." I take out a ten-dollar bill from the envelope I was given and she hands me the ice cream. "Keep the change."
"Thank you! Have a nice day."
"You too."
I spent a good twenty minutes looking for the ripest breadfruit. When I climbed up the tall and limber breadfruit tree and told him I got it, the branch I stood on broke and I came tumbling down with the fruit in hand. He caught me just in time, it felt strange to have him hold me in his arms. In the two seconds he cradled me, I felt that I was his daughter, not his perfect warrior who would grow up to be the best swordsman among the villages and not just a cursed child that had to obey everything without question. I am his little girl, I thought. "Good job, this looks plump enough to hold me until lunch."
I bite into the ice cream, letting it cool my mouth as it melts on my tongue. Who would have thought that Mizuki would get me addicted to this ice cream business? Before biting it again, I observe it from all angles. The smooth green texture, the crunchy nuts inside, who thought putting this together would create a delicious concoction? While I am passing by the supermarket, I chomp into the ice cream while eyeing all the fruits in the fruit stands and reading the handwritten signs of the fruits' names and the listed price per unit. The mountain of grapes I wished for was finished by Knuckles a few weeks ago and he could not stand the sight of another grape. No, I'm not eating anymore! I'm done with them, this was just too much, he said. I thought Groudon would be here for a while longer, sorry, I said.
Just…I can't have anymore. But lately he has been sleep-talking, mumbling about how much he wants grapes and the bizarre activities he would do to obtain some. Picking up lunch and some grapes would be a pleasant surprise for him, I am sure.
I leave the market with a bag of two sandwiches and a small bag of grapes. He had better like the chicken sandwich, otherwise I will toss the entire bag out into the ocean and dissociate it before he can change his mind. I hold my ice cream with my bag hand, flicking the melting pistachio from my fingers. I should know not to waste time maundering with ice cream out in the August heat. But I do not want to return to Angel Island, not yet. I do not want to face Knuckles yet. And I want to take in all the sights that I would not have ever thought existed if Clancy did not open the black door in my world. "Hey! Fucking brat."
I freeze in astonishment, noticing that the uneaten portion of the pistachio scoop is smushed and I turn to look at the rest of it dripping off a woman's outfit. "Sorry." I put my hand up while some kids snicker past me.
"Pay attention to where you're going next time." She puts her phone to her ear and exasperatedly says, "Yeah, sorry about that. I've had weird incidents with too many tweens today." A man gasps and almost pushes me down to shove his cellphone at the exasperated stranger. "You're Dr. Gnus!"
"No, you got the wrong person."
"That is Dr. Gnus," a woman cries out, attracting more attention to the dark-skinned adult. She pushes up her sunglasses and hurries off before the crowd can swarm her but people with flashing cameras and phones pursue her. I drop whatever is left of my semi-liquid ice cream and cross the street without looking back.
When I finally reach Angel Island, I find Knuckles lying face-flat on the lush grass. "Knuckles I brought-what are you doing?"
He lifts his head, pouting in the direction of the forest. I glance toward the forest, seeing nothing out of the ordinary as I stand over him. "Is there something in the forest?"
"No." His voice is barely a whisper.
"So what?"
"I need grapes."
"I thought you said-"
"I know. What I said. I just really need some."
"You are ridiculous. Here." I take out the wet bag of grapes and drop it on his head. His eyes scintillate and he sits up, tearing open the bag of grapes and spilling some for the busy ants to pick up. "Calm down, the grapes are not going anywhere. I knew you would eventually crack. Here is a chicken sandwich too." Noisily, he devours the grapes just by sticking the stems in his mouth, sucking clusters of grapes at once, and then he pulls out the grape-less stem.
"I'm glad I kept you on this island," he says between chewing and swallowing. "What would I do without you?"
If I leave him like this, it would only hurt him. Why does he have to act like this when I am faced with this tough decision? I wish he still treated me the way he used to when I first came here, it would make this so much more easier. I fold my arms as I sit next to him, glancing at the dried ice cream on my fingers. "Knuckles, would you be fine with me leaving the island?"
"Of course," answers Knuckles in the midst of his hungry grape craze.
"Really?"
"Yeah, why ask? You leave all the time, more than me. It's never a problem."
"That is not what I meant." I put my head on my bent knees. He chews obnoxiously, grabbing another bundle of grapes ravenously. "I mean, if I had to leave for a long time, say a year, would you be okay with that?"
"An entire year? Of course not! You're a guardian of the Master Emerald, there's no way you can be gone for that long," he objects passionately, ignoring the rest of the grapes in the bag. "If you want to leave for that long, I'll stop you. Why would you even ask something like that?"
"My boss has proposed a sort of training session for me. In order for me to do it, he wants to send me out of this world." I still cannot meet his eyes. "To train me so that I can reclaim my world from the Heartless that took it, but I would not be back until the next summer comes." I can hear him nearly choke on a grape and I know he is probably glaring at me. "A ship will be coming tomorrow to bring me to whoever will teach me. He told me to give him an answer by tonight-"
"Refuse his offer!"
"Knuckles, the opportunity to become stronger is within my reach," I reply seriously, facing his scrunched up face, redder than usual. "I do not think I can let that slip away from me."
"No way, for a year? You can just train with me here, that's what we normally do anyway," he protests, getting to his feet. "There's no way you're leaving for a year."
"Knuckles, try to understand it from my point of view please. It has almost been a year since I landed on this island and every other attempt to get home was nothing but a trick. This is no trick, no lie, a legitimate way to return home, strengthening my abilities so I can bring my world back. I do not want to leave you like this. But I want to go home, very much so." The strength in my voice fades in the last sentence. I can see past the anger in his face, I can see the hurt and look of betrayal.
"I don't want to hear any more of this crap. I don't wanna hear this, do what you want," he exasperatedly says. Knuckles stomps away, crushing the spilled grapes beneath his shoes. I sigh as I stare at the squashed grapes, watching ants surround it and mount each other to get inside the tiny fruit. It was a simple plan I had to follow.
' ' '
Being out in the city this late by myself is a bit nerve-wracking. I am not afraid of anyone jumping me or robbing me, I have nothing worth stealing on me, it is the shadows. The street lamp, the cars, the alleyways, all unfamiliar shadows that can grow a pair of yellow eyes, the thought terrifies me. I do not want to be afraid of the shadows anymore.
As I am about to open the door to Erick's office, someone opens it from the inside. "Hi, Mia." She sniffles and runs past me, sprinting down the lamppost-lit street. I wonder if she made her decision and already regrets it. "Good night Risa, you're here to tell me your final decision," assumes Erick, leaning back on his chair. Does this man ever sleep? He is perpetually working.
"Did Mia take your offer?"
"You'll find out tomorrow. So, what do you say?"
Find Clancy and return us home as soon as possible, two parts of the plan. Even if it means leaving my friends behind.
J.G.P.