Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing!
Author's Note: Hello everyone! Long time no see…eh read.. eh see…you get my point! I am soo soo very very very sorry for not updating this fic. I just really kinda tore myself away from the site and concentrated on my school work, crazy I know right, but it was after having a bit of a nervous breakdown that I decided to do it so maybe that's why I decided to do it However I would like to say, besides I'm sorry once more (which I truly am) a big thank you to all you reviewers an di really hope you guys are still excited and ready to read this story. My Vacation for Thanksgiving starts today and I'm almost done with the next chapter so there is a very good chance it'll be up later today. That's another thing, I am planning on updating this pretty fast now that I'm on vacation for the next few days, some may have short chapters some not so short, but I hope you all will stay tuned and will review whenever and as much as you can. It means a lot and I am so thankful for the support you guys! Ok enough rambling, I know you all are excited to get to the chapter so…Enjoy!
It was still the early hours into the afternoon as Red continued to sit in his pea soup colored armchair, his eyes fixed frowning at the football game on TV; he paid close to no attention to those sitting on the nearby sofa. Hyde leaned back looking relaxed and almost like he wasn't paying attention to the game—but if asked about anything, he would be able to answer correctly—and Eric, who'd lost interested in the game five minutes after Hyde had forced him back into the room, and was now picking up pieces of Homemade Chex Mix from the nearby by blue bowl on the coffee table.
"Damn it!" Red growled as he watched another one of the players from the visiting team be tackled, "These dumbasses have no idea what they're doing. They're running around on that field like chickens without heads…" he shook his head in disgust, "I swear Eric could do a better job out there."
Hearing the slight complement Eric looked up from his art and smiled at his father, "Thanks Daddy." He said mockingly.
"Shut up." Red replied as he stood up from his seat, "I'm getting another beer. Steven?"
Hyde shook his head at his surrogate father's question, "Nah, I'm still good." He replied lifting his own can of beer just slightly.
"Uh I could use another drink, Dad." Eric called out.
Red stopped himself from taking another step to the kitchen and turned back around to face his son. He was surprised by his words and lifted an eye brow as he got ready to question him.
"What's a fumble?"
Looking on at the scene Hyde held back a laugh but couldn't contain his smirk. Eric seemed to get more and more nervous the longer Red stared him down. It was obvious the younger Forman had no idea what his father was talking about, but he seemed to be so uneasy and frightened he couldn't even come up with a guess or a smartass comment.
Eric cleared his throat, "Actually never mind, I'm good too."
With a roll of his eyes Red turned back around and headed for the kitchen swinging door before disappearing behind it.
"You seriously didn't know what a fumble was man?" Hyde asked as he looked at Eric.
"No." the teacher argued, "I just decided I didn't want another beer."
Hyde smirked, "Yeah, cause you're drinking ginger ale."
Eric frowned in return, "It helps keep me from feeling nauseous!"
Again Hyde shook his head, "What're you doing, Forman?'
"You know, feeling like the oddball out in my parents own house." Eric began to answer, "Trying to get my dad's approval while at the same time dealing with the fact that my mother think's that yours and the devil's kids are the golden grandkids." He paused and shrugged, "Pretty much the usual."
"Yeah." Hyde nodded, "I meant with the snack mix."
Looking slightly embarrassed Eric looked down at the two piles on the table only to smile again when he saw his two creations.
"Oh well I started off trying to make models of the Millennium Falcon and the Death Star…" he started to say, "But it turns out building anything out of pieces of Chex cereal and pieces of pretzels is really hard, so I decided to just build a tower. It's a lot easier."
Eric then proceeded to point at the two muddled 'towers' on the coffee table.
"And of course it's totally a tower for the Millennium Falcon, because really…"
"Yeah, looks like just a pile of snack mix to me." Hyde interrupted causing Eric to frown and look back at his 'model.'
"What?" he asked in his high pitched voice, "No! It's totally…"
Hyde smirked and reached over grabbing one of the small pretzel sticks from one of the towers causing it to collapse into a million pieces.
"It does now." Hyde said before popping the food into his mouth and smirking at Eric's appalled expression.
Still displaying his hurt and dismayed expression Eric reached over for the parts of his fallen tower and began to piece the parts together again, while Hyde smirked contently and leaned back relaxing while watching the latest TV commercial for some cereal. Just then the kitchen's swinging door swung open and two men sulked their way into the living room.
"Man, this sucks!" Kelso announced crossing his arms over his chest like a small child.
"I could not agree more with you, my friend." Fez nodded and patted the taller man's shoulder sympathetically, "This is not at all fair."
Kelso snorted in response, "You can say that again."
"This is not at all fair." Fez repeated, following what he thought was Kelso's order.
A confused frown made its way onto Kelso's face as he looked at his foreign friend as he wondered why he'd repeated himself. At the same time two more puzzled expressions appeared on the two young men who were sitting on the sidelines of the scene on the yellow couch.
Eric was the one who decided to ask the question on both their minds, "What's going on?"
"Yeah, what happened, the women kick you out for making obscene gestures with the turkey?" Hyde guessed with a playful smirk on his lips.
"No!" Kelso argued with a scowl that soon turned into a grin as he pointed at his curly haired friend, "But thanks for the idea!"
Continuing to smirk Hyde nodded his head, knowing he'd never be the one to get in trouble even if Kelso did go through with the idea. Meanwhile Eric shook his head with disgust and Fez looked beyond confused.
"Wait…what kind of gestures?" he asked whining slightly, "I wanna know! What is…Ooohh." He said finally getting thee picture as a smile broke out on his face, "Oh that is dirty."
"Yeah, yeah." Eric said quickly, trying to change the subject as fast as possible—hopefully that way Kelso and Fez would forget the idea, Eric didn't want them doing anything to the thanksgiving turkey. They were all going to have to eat it at some point, "So what's going on in the kitchen?"
"I'll tell you what's going on in the kitchen." Kelso began, sounding upset again while he pointed to the kitchen door, "There are evil women in there!"
Fez nodded affirmatively, "Yes, evil. Very hot and sexy in their own ways, but evil and men in all the others."
Hyde held back a laugh as he watched Eric's face scrunch in disgust at Fez's last statement. Seeing that his brother was in no position to speak, Hyde took over for him.
"You know, normally I'd just ignore you two until you guys tired yourselves out, but seeing Forman face after you talked about his mom and sister…I'm gonna go ahead and encourage you guys this time." He paused letting his smirk grow even more, "So what happened?"
Slowly Eric turned his head to look at Hyde, a strong glare being sent his way, but didn't get the chance to open his mouth.
"They wouldn't give us a sheet!" Fez exclaimed.
The foreigner's words caught both Hyde and Eric's attentions and together they moved their gazes to the standing pair—each of them with their brows knitted closer together.
Kelso threw his hands up in the air in an outrage manner, "Can you believe that?"
Neither Hyde nor Eric moved their eyes or spoke a word until a few seconds passed…but even them their baffled eyes stayed on their two friends.
"Am I the only one who's worried about what they want to do with that sheet?" Eric asked.
"It's not even like they had to be part of it!" Kelso went on to say, before Hyde could respond to Eric's question, "It would still be awesome with just the two of us…but if they wanted to join in…hey the more the merrier!"
Hyde watched Fez eagerly nod in agreement and his mind joined his brother's in the gutter.
"Yeah, not anymore." He informed.
"Um…Fez, Kelso…just what were you guys planning on doing with that sheet?" Eric asked in a cautioned tone of voice before adding, "And if it's got anything to do with sex, please give a fair warning."
Both Fez and Kelso displayed shocked and almost hurt looks on their faces as they heard Eric's stamen. However it was Fez who decided to respond to his brother-in-law's words.
"Do you think all we think about is sex?" Fez questioned while crossing his arms over his chest as an attempt to seem tougher or at least show how upset he was. "We do have other things in our lives that we care about!"
"Yeah! We've got kids, our wives, jobs!" Kelso added, "Sex is like number four on our list."
"Yes." The foreign man argued with a nod, "It is tied with doing stupid things."
Watching the two men nod, Hyde rolled his eyes with annoyance. He looked past the two morons and over at the swinging door, hoping Red would come in and kick both Fez and Kelso out. Still, he was curious about what their plans with the sheet were…
"So what were you guys gonna do with the sheet?" he finally asked, deciding to repeat Eric's question.
Kelso's face lit up like a small child…or just like his own face on Christmas morning. Excitedly with a big dopey grin, he practically bounced into the empty seat between Hyde and the arm of the sofa.
"Ok so get this." He began to say already using his hands to build up his listeners' excitement, "We were gonna climb up on the second floor roof and then jump off! But we were gonna hold onto the sheet while we were jumping and use it as a parachute!"
"Isn't it a genius idea?" Fez asked enthusiastically.
Hyde and Eric's faces fell to the floor, neither one of them was quite sure how to respond.
"Uh I don't…I…it's…" Eric struggled for his words while he looked at the smiling, happy, puppy like faces in front of him, He broke his face out into a grin, "It's something alright!"
"Yeah, something else." Hyde muttered so only he and Eric could hear.
"Yeah, I think it's one of my best ideas yet." Kelso said with a bashful smile, that soon turned into a frown as he recalled what happened only a few minutes ago. "But we can't even do it cause they won't give us a sheet!"
"They are too protective of us." Fez declared and his friend nodded along.
"Yeah. They're making way too big of a deal, my plans only usually end in disaster. I don't get why they won't let us do it this time."
Hyde frowned just slightly, "Kelso man, you just answered your own question."
"No, I didn't." Kelso said, returning the frown.
"Yeah, you did."
"No, I didn't."
"Yeah, you did."
"No I didn't!"
"Ok fine." Hyde gave in, holding up his hands in defense, "You didn't."
Kelso smiled proudly at his friend, "Thank you."
"But you did." Hyde added in his Zen manner, "You said your plans usually end in disaster."
"Yeah." Kelso replied dragging out the word, "And the last time I checked the dictionary 'usually' meant not all the time."
The words said by the kettlehead of the group caused Eric and Hyde to furrow their brows even more while Fez showed a smile—as if knowing exactly what Kelso was talking about."
"You know how to use a dictionary?' Eric questioned in disbelief.
"You know what a dictionary is?" Hyde asked following Eric's pattern.
"Yes I know what a dictionary is." Kelso argued, obviously hurt by his friends' statements.
Fez nodded before explaining, "We used one last week when we were looking up dirty words."
Eric watched the two grown men share a smile before letting the grins turn into chuckles as they laughed at something that only the two of them knew about. It made Eric roll his eyes, these guys might have other things in their lives that they cared about but they were still the same goofballs from high school. Now he could see why none of the women wanted to give them a sheet…heck he wouldn't even give them a Kleenex in fear that they'd alter their plan so they could work with a smaller parachute.
"You seriously can't see why they don't want you guys to have a sheet?" Eric rhetorically asked.
Fez shook his head, "Nope."
"All I know is that they should totally give us a sheet, cause this plan is completely idiot proof." Kelso was quick to add.
The words caused Hyde to smirk mischievously; he couldn't pass up a chance like this.
"Idiot proof?" the Zen master asked, "Or proof of idiots?"
Not understanding exactly what Hyde was getting at Fez's brows knitted together and he thought over the suggestion for a few seconds before shaking his head to the left and to the right.
"No Hyde…I think it is idiot proof."
Hyde shook his head and leaned back on the sofa as if giving up in defeat—but that wasn't necessarily true, he wasn't getting out of the conversation because he was defeated, it was because he'd lost interest in it. Eric on the other hand still found himself intrigued with the whole situation. After all it was a lot more exciting to him than the football game that was playing on the television screen.
"What's the big deal about doing this parachute sheet thing anyways?" Eric asked a very good question.
Kelso rolled his eyes as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, "Because it's our Thanksgiving Shenanigan!"
The explanation given by Kelso recaptured Hyde's interest and he found himself caught up in his friends' conversation once again.
"Shenanigan?" Hyde asked, making sure he heard right.
"Yeah, it's a tradition!"
"Yes." Fez chimed in, "Remember for Christmas last year we blew up the snowmen?"
Several images began to play out in Eric and Hyde's minds. Images of the snow, carrot noses, scarves and whatever had been used for eyes and mouths flying everywhere along with the few sparks from the fireworks that had been place inside the snowmen—the same sparks that nearly set the old oak tree in the back yard on fire. The scene of Red chasing the two men with a shovel and all the crying from the kids after the saw their snowfriends be blown to smithereens.
The two brothers looked at one another and exchanged a look.
"Vaguely."
"Well usually we do our shenanigans for Christmas." Kelso went on to say, "But this year we thought we'd mix it up."
Fez smiled as he already knew the details, "But we may do other small shenanigans in the days leading up to Christmas."
"But we're not ninety percent sure yet." Kelso made sure to add.
"We'll let you know." Fez was happy to inform.
Again Hyde was starting to feel himself zone out of the conversation and Eric didn't seem to far behind—still he decided to ask.
"If the women aren't gonna give you the sheet, why don't you guys just think of another stupid 'shenanigan?'"
Both Fez and Kelso looked at Hyde with the strangest looks on their faces. It looked as though Hyde had just asked them if were twins.
Eyes wide with astonishment Fez looked at his curly haired friend in disbelief. He rapidly shook his head still not believe his ears, and then proceeded to through his hands in the air. All he needed to do was break out into a Spanish rant and he'd be Ricky Ricardo.
But while his partner in crime seemed to be at loss for words, Kelso knew just what he wanted to say.
"Another shenanigan?" he asked his own eyes opened largely, "We can't just think another shenanigan at the last minute! It takes time, good, careful thinking…coming up with a stupid shenanigan is not as easy as you think Hyde!"
Not believing the tall man's argument, Hyde shook his head and settled back into the couch. Eric could deal with this if he wanted to, but he himself was out.
And that's just what Eric did,
"So then don't do a 'stupid shenanigan' do a…I don't know a useful, helpful one." The school teacher suggested, "Help Mom in the kitchen, look after the kids…I don't know write a thanksgiving book!"
"Yeah, ok Eric." Kelso replied with a scoff and roll of his brown eyes.
"Oh wait!" Fez quickly jumped in with an idea, "We could write a book!"
Kelso's brows knitted together, "Huh?"
The two friends looked at one another for a few seconds—looking as though they were having some sort of telepathic conversation. A minute or so later, they both looked over at Eric each wearing a very large smile.
"Yeah, we're gonna write a book." Kelso informed with a nod.
With an expressionless face, Eric looked at the duo, "Not a dirty book."
"Aww!" was heard not a second later.
"Why don't you guys fry a turkey?" Hyde suggested joining the talk once again, but keeping his eyes on the TV.
Kelso looked at Hyde and snorted, "Yeah, Hyde's like we'd actually be that…Oo wait!" he almost shouted, suddenly getting an idea, "Fry…fye…fwy…fly…Fly! FLY! We should make a turkey fly!" he exclaimed jumping onto his feet.
Fez soon joined in Kelso's excitement and the pair was just about ready to bring out their notepads when Eric spoke up.
"Uh Kelso…" he began, "Turkeys can fly."
"No they can't." Kelso said talking to Eric as if he were dumber than him.
Ignoring Kelso's tone Eric argued, "Yes, they can."
"No, they can't"
"Yes, they can."
"Well can a dead turkey fly?" Kelso suddenly asked, shocking Eric.
"Wha…what?"
Fez meanwhile nodded in approval, "Nice one."
"Thanks." Kelso replied returning the smile, before going on to explain, "So all we've gotta do Fez is find a dead turkey and…"
"Kelso man, we're you gonna find a dead turkey?" Hyde questioned
Eric nodded—just as Fez sided with Kelso, Eric seemed to be on Hyde's side—"Hyde's right. It's thanksgiving. All the dead turkeys are in kitchen getting ready to be put in the oven."
There was a sudden moment of silence as both of the childlike men felt themselves deflate like a balloon as their hopes of making a turkey fly started to fade away. Abruptly a light bulb went off in one of the dim heads.
"Like the one Mom's got in the kitchen!" Fez declared, "We could use that one!"
It happened all so quickly Eric and Hyde weren't sure they'd heard correctly. However when their widened eyes saw Kelso grin and praise their foreign friend they knew their ears had told them the truth. This was not good.
"Wait no." Eric said interrupting the planning, "You don't wanna make a turkey fly…Hey you want a sheet? I get you my old Spiderman sheets!"
Fez and Kelso looked on at Eric's twitchiness, but only seemed to blow it off.
"Nah, we're good."
Eric's face fell while Fez and Kelso settled down into their seats, Kelso back on the couch and Fez on the floor by his feet, ready to get on with their planning of their second Thanksgiving shenanigan.
Hyde stared at the straight face of his brother, "Nice going, Forman."
Before Eric could make any response, Fez and Kelso's rambling filled the room.
"Ok, so we know where to get our turkey." Kelso reminded in a serious manner—the way they seemed to planning the whole thing out, it seemed like more than a holiday shenanigan, "We've just gotta figure out how we're gonna make our turkey fly."
An eager nod came from Fez right away, "Right. Let's think. Hmm…" not five seconds later, Fez placed his palm on his head, "Aye this is too hard!"
"Don't worry, buddy. We'll get it." Kelso assured patting his friends back while he himself was having trouble thinking up ideas, "We just need something to help us think…"
"We could watch the parade!" Fez announced happily before reaching over and grabbing the remote of Red's chair.
As Kelso grinned a child like smile and nodded eagerly, Eric frowned not quite seeing how this would help them think of any ideas. And Hyde just sat back watching the scene play out; he knew he should have stopped them, reminded them that Red was watching the game…but this would be a lot more fun.
"Oh I hope we have no missed the Snoopy's balloon." Fez shared as he changed the channel to the annual Macy's Parade.
Kelso wrinkled his forehead while scooting closer to the edge of the couch and closer to the TV, "Forget Snoopy, Kermit's balloon could totally kick Snoopy's balloon ass!"
"I said Snoopy, you sonofabitch!" Fez replied with an angry scowl.
"And I said Kermit!" Kelso argued.
Fez continued to glare, "Snoopy is better than Kermit!"
"Nuh-ah!" Kelso fought back, "Kermit has Miss. Piggy!"
"Snoopy has Woodstock!"
"Well Kermit has The Muppet Show! Ha!"
"Snoopy has The Peanuts Comics! Ha ha!" Fez fired back.
It took Kelso a little longer to think of his next comeback, but when he did he knew this one would win him the argument.
"It's not that easy being green." He began to sing.
"Having to spend each day the color of the leave," Fez sang, taking over the song and forgetting whose side he was on, "When I think it could be nicer being Red, or yellow or gold. Or something much more colorful like that!"
The young foreign man finished the verse and smiled shyly.
"It is a classic." He admitted.
Now that their quarrel was over and done with Kelso and Fez returned to their happy viewing of the different floats making their way down the streets of New York. Hyde joined in in the viewing but not before noticing that Eric hadn't even looked at the television screen since the channel had been switched—not that he'd been paying much attention before—and had his attention back on his destroyed tower.
"Forman, man you're not watching the parade?" Hyde questioned, "I would've thought you'd be all into it like Lavern and Shirley over there."
Eric shook his head, "Nah, I'm kinda boycotting the parade till they add a Star Wars float in there."
"Good luck with that, man." Hyde replied while holding back a laugh.
"Oh I don't need luck Hyde." Eric responded while looking up from his 'art,' "I have petitions."
There were a few minutes that passed while the guys—excluding Eric—sat almost trance like watching the parade with it's floats, balloons, bands, and performers. The scene could have stayed that way until the parade finished, had the swinging door not swung back open.
"What the hell are you doing?" Red angrily asked as he scowled at the scene before him.
Keeping his eyes on the screen and his smile on his face, Fez answered his father-in-law's question, "Watching the parade."
Red held back the urge to roll his eyes as he stepped closer to the two boys he knew were responsible for this.
"I was watching the game." He reminded in his firm tone of voice.
"Yeah," Kelso agreed, "And now we're watching the parade."
Kelso' reply did not sit well with Red and it could easily be seen in his face.
"Kelso, give me the remote." The elder Forman demanded.
"But we are watching the parade!" Fez whined like a small child, that only caused Red's impenitentness to grow.
"Kelso, give me the damn remote now or my foot will be parading it's way up both your asses."
Red's threat frightened the pair, but the remote remained in Kelso's grasp.
"Will there be balloons?" Fez asked in a hopeful voice.
Instead of answering the question Red took an intimidating step forward to the young men scaring the lights out of them. At almost the same time they jumped up from their seat and onto their feet, Kelso making sure to toss the remote to the older man. They then headed for the kitchen door so they could go into the basement from there.
"Big meanie!" Fez called back.
Kelso patted his friends back, "It's alright Fez, now we can figure out how we're gonna make our turkey fly."
Red had ignored Alibaba's comment, dismissing it with a roll of his eyes, but the kettle head's words caught his attention. He looked over at his sons for help but saw one with his attention fixated on snack food and the other only shook his head.
"You don't wanna know." Hyde informed.
And that was good enough for Red. Turning the TV station back to the game he tuned out all his other surroundings. Hyde had plans of doing something similar but first he had a little something to take care of.
Looking over at Eric's Chex Mix tower, he noticed it was almost the same size as it had been when he first knocked it down. With an evil smirk on his lips, he reached over and grabbed another small square causing the thing to crumble once more.
"Oh come on!" Eric nearly shouted, "It's like you're just doing it on purpose now Hyde!"
Author's Note: There you go Chapter 2 (At last!) of "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" Hope you liked!
Yes, I know Chex Mix is not exactly a thanksgiving food but it's usually a little appetizer around here during the holidays and it was the only food besides turkey mentioned in the chapter.
So what your favorite part of the Macy's Parade? Kermit? Snoopy?
Until next time, thanks for reading, hope you liked, please review and lemme know what you think, stay tuned, take care, have a nice day and remember only 2 more days till thanksgiving! Hope you've got your shopping done…I haven't oops!