Up above the city of Thebes, Hades was having target practice. Pain and Panic would hoist vases with Hercules's face on them into the air, and Hades shot fireballs that shattered the vases to pieces while Menel watched, lounging in a chair off to the side.

"Nice shootin', Rex," Menel just smirked, lazily making gun signs with his fingers.

"I can't believe this," Hades snarled, not even paying attention, "I've thrown everything at him, and it doesn't even-" he stopped short, hearing a strange squeaking noise. He looked down at Pain, "What. Are. Those?"

"Um," Pain squirmed, his bright pink and blue Air Herc's squeaking at the movement, "I dunno, I thought they looking kind of dashing."

"I've got 24 hours to rid myself of this, this bozo, or the entire scheme I have had in the works for eighteen years goes up in smoke and you. Are wearing. His merchandise?!"

Hades was bright red and flaming, about to strangle Pain, when a loud slurping interrupted him. His flames cooled instantly in surprise, and he turned to look at Panic, who was slurping away at a cup with Hercules's face on it.

"Uh..." Panic seemed to suddenly realize what he was doing. He offered a sip timidly, "Thirsty?"

"DYEAAGGHH!"

The mountain exploded in a fit of fiery fury, causing a little earthquake that's barely noticed by everyone in the city of Thebes. While Pain and Panic quivered in the corner, Menel just smirked and sauntered over to the edge that overlooked Thebes, where Hercules was just visible below.

"Looks like your game's over," Menel watched with a smile as Hercules talked to an eager crowd and left his handprints in wet plaster, "Wonderboy's hitting every curve you throw at him."

Hades continued to glare, caught sight of Menel's sauntering hips, and a brilliant idea struck him.

"And yet, I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps I just haven't been throwing the right curves at him," Hades's lips curled into a devious smirk, making a gesture at Menel's hips at the word 'curves'. "Menel..."

"Don't even go there," Menel sneered, somehow not even surprised. He stood, turning away from the ledge and crossing his arms. Unfortunately, Hades continued.

"Ah, but he must have a weakness. Everyone has a weakness. For Pandora, it was the box, the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse. We simply need to find out Wonderboy's."

"I've done my part," Menel shook him off, "Get your little imps to-"

"They couldn't even handle him as a baby," Hades scoffed, and Pain and Panic looked mildly offended, though really there wasn't much they could say. Hades continued, his voice dropping low and seductive, "And I need someone to handle him as a man."

"Hey," Menel turned with a growl, "I've sworn off that sort of thing."

"Well, that's good," Hades nodded, faking sympathy, "Because that's what got you into this jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me to save your girlfriend's life; ever the noble one, aren't we, Menel? You even promised her you would do anything for her, like a good boyfriend and lover should. And how does this babe thank you? By running off with some lug."

As he said this, Hades projected images of the memory. Menel watched silently as Hades made a feminine figure out of smoke, falling into a smoke-Menel's arms. Then, in a snap of his fingers, a stronger, taller, altogether more manly figure sauntered by, and the smoke-girl wandered away with him, leaving smoke-Menel behind. Alone. Heartbroken.

"She hurt you quite deeply, didn't she, Menel?"

From that day forth, Menel swore to never fall in love with another woman again. Never to fall in love with anyone again. Love is for fools.

"Well, I've learned my lesson, haven't I?" Menel snarled, waving his hand to disperse the smoke figures and blinking back tears.

"Which is exactly why I have a feeling you're gonna leap at my new offer," Hades handed Menel one of the vases with Hercules's face on it, moving his hands to Menel's shoulders. Menel just looked down at the vase doubtfully, his fingers tracing the image as Hades spoke, "You give me the key to bringing down Wonder Breath, and I give you, no questions, no restrictions, the thing you crave most in all the cosmos..."

Hades bent low, his cold breath on Menel's ear as Menel's eyes widened. He couldn't mean...he wouldn't...Menel had never dreamed of regaining it...

"Your freedom."

Menel gasped and dropped the vase, and it shattered against the stone floor.

Can you guess who was Menel's girlfriend, and who's the guy she left him for?