That person, what's his name, she can't remember, always watches her whenever he calls with his spotty connection. His hair spikes just in view and even through the screen she can sense how much he wants to hug her until she hugs back. She still doesn't know how he has her email. He's always looking so mournful, so sorry. She doesn't understand why. Apparently he's not supposed to be here anyway but the veil is weak and he loves too much. He loves her too much.
Silly man, doesn't he know what love does to a person?
She looks at her brother and thinks that, all of the time. She remembers his anger at the needle marks vacantly, vacantly because she didn't think much of it at the time and can't think much of it now. She relishes his hand in hers when he comes to meet her and his steady refusal to ask if she is okay like Yuki wants to and kind of does.
They both know she's not and it hurts.
She really hates being the screw up. If she could get rid of herself, she would, wipe her existence from them and give them a better life without her inability to do anything right in it.
Even in her dreams she fucks up. How pathetic is that?
After all, she couldn't even save Artemis.
Artemis, like all of the others, had to save her.